Mark.I Valora-Class Powered Combat Exoskeleton [BLACK]

[Hansen]

Shaehan wearing the Mk.I Valora [BLACK] PCE on Kaeshana's desolate surface​

OUT OF CHARACTER INFORMATION

• Intent: Creating a suit of advanced powered combat armour from a Prototype model worn by Shaehan Timiari.
• Image Source: Source
• Canon Link: N/A
• Restricted Missions: N/A
• Primary Source: Powersuit, Exoskeleton, Heavy Exoskeleton, Mk.I Illyria-Class Powered Combat Exoskeleton.

PRODUCTION INFORMATION

• Manufacturer: Corondex Arms (First Order Contract), First Order Corps of Imperial Engineers (Support & In-house Maintenance).
• Model: Mk.I Valora-Class Powered Combat Exoskeleton [BLACK]
• Affiliation: Shaehan Timiari
• Modularity: Yes (Webbing Deployment; Positioning of Equipment, Pouches, Tools etc.)
• Production: Unique (Shaehan Timiari)
• Material: Durasteel, Duraplast, Duravlex, Titanium, Flex-Armour, Glasteel, Liquid Crystal.

TECHNICAL SPECIFICATIONS

• Classification: Multipurpose Military Powersuit/Exoskeleton
• Height: 1.88 Meters, 6'1"
• Weight: 85 Kilograms, 187 .lbs

RESISTANCES

• Blasters (Plasma-type weapons): High
• Kinetic: Average
• Plasma Blades/Lightsabres: Low
• Sonic: Average
• EMP/ION: High
• Elemental: Average

SPECIAL FEATURES

Helmet:

• Holographic HUD (Voice & Ocular command capable.)
• Anti-Ion Mesh
• Interior Celluar Padding (High Comfort.)
• Liquid Crystal Display.
• Liquid Consumables Induction Port.
• Polychromatic Camera Lense Visor.
• Visual/Audio Player and Recorder (24 Hours of Content before Datacard needs to be swapped.)
• Language Database/Translator.
• Annunciator/Vocabulator. (Volume and Pitch output programmable.)
• Sonic Dissipator(s)
• Infrared Laser Rangefinder/Laser Designator/Laser sight/Laser Dazzler (Equipped to helmet lenses.)
• Broadband Antenna
• Long-range Integrated Commlink with First Order Military encryption keys.
• Closed-circuit Rebreather.
• Life Support System (Infinite vital gas supply).
• Motion Scanner 25m Radius.
• Integrated Macrobinoculars 500x magnification.
• Visor Modes: Infrared/Thermal & Ultraviolet.

Body Armour:

• Air Conditioning/Climate Control System.
• Helium-Hydrogen Nuclear Fusion Battery (336 Hour PSU MTBF, replaceable).
• Casualty Carry Handle (Upper Back.)
• Ventral forearm mounted vacuum-sealed IV Bacta Injection Port(s).
• Anti-Ion Mesh.
• Hermetically Sealed and Pressurised.
• Advanced Bio-Restorative Underlay.
• Combat Webbing Clips and Mountings.
• Magnetised strips on back plate & thighs for storing weapon(s).
• Magnetic Adhesion/ High-Traction Grips.
• Magnetisable boots.
• Sonic Dampening Overlay
• Celluar Padded Insoles (High Comfort.)
• IFF Circuitry and Transponder (Biometrically Linked, Encrypted Telemetry.)
• Waste Recycling System.
• Joint-locking Capability.

Utility Equipment:

• First Aid Kit.
• Combat Rations (One Day's Worth.)
• Multitool.
• Grappling Hooks.
• Flare Gun (Two Charges.)
• Anti-Security Blade.
• Sonic Security Resonator.
• Various Pouches. (Containing a multitude of items, including but not limited to, additional plasma cartridges and etc.)
• Electronic Lock Scrambler/Descrambler.
• Secondary, External Communicator (Hardwired to Jamming.)

Strengths:

• Titanium Construction: Constructed from thin Titanium plates the armour is low density, lightweight, tough and strong. It protects against blasters but repeated impacts will burn or melt through the armour.
• Kinetic Threats: Thanks to its hard titanium plates the Valora-class armour successfully prevents penetration against slugthrower rifle rounds, translating their power into blunt force.
• Over-pressure Protection: Explosive shock waves and waves of sonic energy are carefully managed by a sealed hermetic atmosphere and the contoured design focusing energy around the wearer's soft-tissue pressure points and joints, causing excruciating pain through soft-tissue injuries and fracturing bones, often resulting in unconsciousness.
• Ionic Activity: Electrocution is difficult in most cases, with a notable exception for Force-powered attacks such as Force Lightning. Energy from Ion Disruptors is converted into blunt force trauma being distributed across the Anti-Ion Mesh, with the Titanium Armour obliterated, the liquid crystal gel-layer also paralyses the wearer.
• Elemental Stresses: The armour creates its own hermetic atmosphere and features a life support system that perfectly mimics Kaeshana's pre-cataclysm atmosphere and offers good protection from extreme climates encountered on civilised worlds.
• Bio-restorative Underlay: Featuring a bio-restorative underlay that comes into contact with the epidermis, this underlay promotes cellular growth on the dermis and sub-dermis which promotes the healing of injuries to the skin and circulatory organs near the skin.
• Liquid-Crystal Gel-Layer: Thanks to its Liquid-Crystal Gel-Layer Valora supports its own weight and dramatically increases the physical strength and endurance of its wearer to the point where they can lift objects double their own body mass, giving Eldorai Huntresses a distinct advantage when attempting to lift heavy weaponry or fighting disarmed. The Gel-Layer will also absorb the hydrostatic shock from falling at the risk of failing and transferring the impact to the wearer.
• Speed Augmentation: Wearers of the Valora experience greatly increased speed and agility as a result of their increased muscular strength and endurance, running speeds of 48 km/h have been recorded under test conditions.
• Flame Retardant: The hard-armour and soft-armour plates of the Valora are treated with Duravlex to ensure that the wearer can participate in joint-operations with Stormtroopers, though the Duravlex doesn't protect them from high ambient temperature and its efficacy is compromised when the system's bodysuit is breached.

Weaknesses:

• Nuclear Fusion Battery: The design features a Fusion battery in a Titanium casing on the back rising up behind the neck, damaging or destroying this battery will disable the suit at best and cause a miniature thermo-nuclear explosion like a thermal detonator completely obliterating the wearer at worst.
• Stun Setting: Stun settings on blasters trick the power armour's Gel-layer to think it's being subjected to massive hydrostatic stress and so paralyses the wearer for minutes.
• Vibroblade Weapons: The Valora's titanium plate is low density and relatively thin in an attempt to save weight but this makes it frighteningly easy to penetrate with Vibroblade or mono-molecular edge weapons.
• Armour Spalling: High-velocity kinetic weapons when impacting the armour plates can cause spalling injuries where penetration is prevented; tiny Titanium flakes can shear away from the plate at massive velocity and cause severe internal injuries to Valora's wearer or penetrate their bodysuit.
• Electric attacks: Uninterrupted contact with high-voltage high-amperage electric sources force the armour's gel-layer into a state where it attempts to protect its' wearer, paralyzing them. Force Lightning attacks will additionally electrocute the wearer albeit at a reduced intensity.
• Infrared Channel: The Valora has quite a large thermal/infrared footprint making it Impossible or extremely difficult to camouflage the wearer's position from hostiles with multi-spectrum imaging systems or sensors that detect infrared activity.
• Life support apparatus: Between the shoulders is a prominent cylinder-shaped titanium housing sitting on the rear of the cuirass. The on-board life-support could be damaged or breached and leave the Eldorai huntress wearing it severely debilitated, via sufficiently damaging the life support or inadvertently breaching the armour's hermetic seal.
• Gas pressure Overcompensation: The Mk.I Valora's internal atmosphere mimics that of Kaeshana and it dynamically adjusts the pressure of gasses in the hermetic atmosphere based on the value of gravity. When the value of gravity massively increases or decreases in a short period of time the internal pressure will decrease and increase proportionately creating a massive pressure reduction ratio and inflicting decompression sickness on the wearer.
• Particle beam: Valora is extremely vulnerable when struck by Particle beam-type blasters, impacts from these weapons penetrate the Armour with frightening ease and will cause catastrophic damage to the system and severe injuries to the wearer.
• Passive Camouflage: The Valora isn't a champion of passive camouflage, it is a lustrous silver in colouration making it easy to spot and identify in virtually any environment increasing the risk the wearer's position will be compromised.
• Plasma Blade: Plasma Blades and Plasma Torches operate at extremely high temperatures; sufficient enough to melt and cut straight through the Valora's Titanium Armour and its Duravlex layer on contact.
• Extreme Heat: While Valora's liquid crystal layer sandwiched in the body suit attempts to keep the wearer at shell body temperature for maximum comfort. Temperatures that exceed roughly 106 degrees Celsius such as being in close proximity to fires or lava can quickly lead to dehydration, heat stroke and unconsciousness in the wearer.
• Sub-Zero Centigrade: The liquid crystal gel-layer becomes noticeably rigid at -14.5 degrees Celsius and virtually freezes at -23.0 degrees Celsius, resulting in great input lag from the wearer to their suit. Making operations in arctic climates difficult on even the more hospital worlds to say nothing of worlds like Hoth.
• Chinks in armour: The Valora is designed for maximum, speed, agility and flexibility and as such made concessions in armour plate design and shape; it lacks adequate hard-armour plates in the location directly above the hips and this area extends to where the ribs begin, this area is protected mainly by the TYI Flex Armour bodysuit.
• Flank: From behind the system one might note the conspicuous lack of hard Titanium plates covering the torso, abdomen and lower limbs above the knee; leaving only the TYI Bodysuit for protection from attacks impacting the armour from behind the wearer.

DESCRIPTION

Armour Detail: Front (Left), Back (Right)​

​

The Mk.I Valora-class Powered Combat Exoskeleton was developed in parallel to the Illyria-Class Powered Combat Exoskeleton as species-specific personal protective equipment for the First Order's Eldorai Personnel. The two armour platforms share key technologies but were developed with different personnel in mind; the Illyria-class Powered Combat Exoskeleton was designed with requirements that the platform be suitable for work in the civil sector Industrial and Manufacturing environment. Valora differs in that it is designed and developed exclusively for combat troops and thus is lighter and features more advanced technologies while achieving the same technical characteristics in a more compact and agile platform. Valora's visual aesthetic more closely honours traditional Eldorai design with beautiful contoured plates and a mixture of organic and sharp angles. The Valora didn't enter serial production due to its high cost and low versatility when compared with the Illyria-class, however the one of the rare suits is now seeing service with Shaehan Timiari; An Eldorai Soldier who has joined the First Order's Auxiliary, this specific suits has been named the "[BLACK]" variant for its enhanced firmware updates.

Valora's hard armour consists of elegantly designed fire retardant Duravlex-coated lustrous Titanium plates carefully manufactured for maximum hardness and toughness which results in the good performance against kinetic threats with the noted danger of spalling in part due to the plates' thin dimensions which were a deliberate choice to reduce weight and cross-section to make the wearer agiler. Energy Weapons diffuse on impact but due to Titanium's material properties it cannot withstand sustained damage from blasters and other plasma-based weapons without melting or burning away, the armour itself isn't indestructible in this regard. Disruptors carried by infantry will not disintegrate the armour, however, impacts to the system will trigger a reactor shut-down only solvable with a system reboot, rendering the wearer paralysed with the weight of the Valora on their body and this assumes the armour is only struck once, successive shots can completely short-circuit the armour's ignition completely disabling Valora and entombing the warrior wearing it. Protection against unconventional threats such as sonic is achieved through a sonic dampening overlay and the hard armour plate designs which focus sonic pressure around the pressure points throughout the wearer's body, causing excruciating pain but otherwise avoiding the fatal injuries associated with these weapons.

Beneath the Duravlex coated Titanium Plates the Valora provides one final layer of protection against energy and kinetic weapons before being penetrated; a bodysuit constructed from fire retardant Duravlex-treated TYI-Flex Armour designed as a last-ditch attempt to prevent penetration of the wearer by ranged weapons and instead converts the impact into a hopefully more treatable blunt force injury in the case of a kinetic weapon or treatable burn in the case of an energy weapon. Exsanguination can be difficult to treat in the field especially where powered exoskeletons are concerned in addition to this the bodysuit features a bio-restorative underlay specifically for this person to promote clotting in the event deep laceration or shot-wounds are created. The Flex Armour bodysuit is ineffective at adequately providing protection from Vibro-weapons or plasma blades making the wearer especially vulnerable in melee combat once the hard plates are breached. This makes any part of the body not covered by Titanium plates prime targets in close quarters or for snipers at extreme range.

The Valora's helmet like the rest of the armour is a homage to traditional Eldorai designs and lacks a distinct visor like the Illyria and instead provides a display on a Liquid Crystal Display screen inside the helmet with its image created by four distinct Glasteel camera lenses on the helmet's front which vaguely resemble 'eyes' of sorts. This reduces the risk of explosive decompression of the helmet as there is no visor to breach or grain boundaries for force to focus against, it also decreases the risk of a sniper taking advantage of a visor to dispatch the wearer with a shot to the brain stem which is a common feature among humanoids and near-human species. The Valora features an onboard computer that helps with information management via the helmet-mounted display reacting to voice commands from the wearer and magnifies the image resolution based on eye movement often requiring the user to change software settings and adjust to its use over time which usually isn't an issue with Eldorai Auxillary personnel given their unique physiology. Valora's helmet also features a dedicated microphone, processor and database for converting Eldorai to the most popular foreign languages in the galaxy and these languages to Eldorai for wearers not entirely fluent in Galactic Basic or other interstellar communication.

In support of the unique requirements of Eldorai physiology the Valora-class powered combat exoskeleton can be worn for extended durations when necessary featuring a vacuum sealed inductor port that can be deployed from the helmet and allows the introduction of liquid consumables such as vital fluids and foodstuffs through a thick straw. Waste management is achieved through a recycling system similar to the one seen aboard the Illyria-Class Powered Combat Exoskeleton, allowing the wearer to remain in their Valora-class armour for days at a time potentially. Joint-locking capability permits the wearer to remain standing while sleeping, a useful feature for Troops who regularly find themselves isolated in the field. The amorphous Liquid Crystal Gel-Layer contained in the Valora is noticeably advanced when compared to the Illyria's and is one of the key differences between the two systems making the Valora less susceptible to damage as it doesn't require a separate hydraulic system to provide increased carrying capacity, strength or speed. The Valora's liquid-crystal gel-layer is a semiconductor and uses mechanical stress applied to it to generate an electric charge using principles of the piezoelectric effect amplifying the physical output of the user resulting in the ubiquitous increased strength, speed and endurance of First Order Eldorai Power Armour.

The Valora supplies its wearer with a constant vital gas supply with a composition that mimics that of Pre-Cataclysm Kaeshana to support the unique requirements of Eldorai Physiology. The Armour's closed-circuit rebreather also permits the wearer to submerge beneath the water and not emit the tell-tale bubbles that rise to the surface with open-circuit rebreathers, though it is not buoyant in the slightest. Wearers of Valora must take care in a vacuum as temperatures in can quickly plummet to temperatures beneath that under which the Liquid-Crystal Gel-Layer can function. This isn't normally a problem in close proximity to celestial bodies such as planets and stars which give off enough infrared radiation to keep the armour above zero degrees Celsius, but in deep space, the effects of a lack of heat source would be experienced very quickly with Valora's superconductive Gel-layer becoming too rigid and locking the wearer in whatever pose they find themselves in as the layer begins to super cool. Valora's climate-control system and the bodysuit is very good at keeping the wearer at shell body temperature and resisting blistering heat, but ambient temperatures above 106 Degrees Celsius begin to become uncomfortable as the Exoskeleton's climate control systems struggle to dissipate absorbed thermal energy. Once ambient temperatures exceed 106 Degrees Celsius the temperature inside the armour rapidly rises above what is comfortable with dehydration and heat stroke following soon after unless the wearer can get constant access to water, making it impossible for the wearer to remain in close proximity to raging fire or smouldering lava for long despite being flame retardant.

Unlike some other First Order Armour designs the Valora doesn't feature auto-injectors and so any bacta or liquid drugs that need to be introduced into the wearers' circulatory system via a single-port on the ventral surface of both vambrace that connects straight to a flexible cannula inserted into the intermediate antebrachial vein of each forearm when the TYI Flex-Armour bodysuit is first equipped by the wearer. It's not uncommon to find wearers of the Valora wearing their TYI bodysuit when not in combat with a maxillofacial breathing apparatus to substitute for their armour's hermetic atmosphere. Unfortunately, these same IV ports if identified could be used to torture a wearer of the armour that has been captured as a convenient means of introducing drugs that might make them more likely to divulge sensitive information and so their appearance is modest as a small circular hole in each vambrace which tactfully conceals the port itself. These ports are necessary as breaching the Bodysuit and armour's hermetic atmosphere can actually do more damage to the wearer's health if injured in combat or field conditions, reducing their capacity to protect themselves while suffering symptoms of Hyperoxia.

Sensors located across the system automatically increase and decrease the atmospheric pressure inside the armour based on the value for gravity being applied to the system this ensures that the wearer is receiving appropriate gas pressure inside their suit when aboard a spacecraft, in a vacuum or at sea level. These sensors do not always function properly and can over-compensate on worlds with higher than standard gravity such as Sirpar where the gas pressure inside the Valora will decrease at a massive pressure reduction ratio, the inverse is true of low-gravity planets where the pressure of Valora's hermetic atmosphere will increase. The Valora's sensors seem particularly sensitive to Gas pressure Overcompensation, frequently occurring in the presence of Gravity Wells created by First Imperial Interdictors operating near the wearer, meaning that wearers of this particular exoskeleton are not stationed aboard Interdictor vessels. The causes symptoms of decompression sickness to the wearers of the Valora PCE include but are not limited to; localised excruciating pain that originates from the joints most notably in the legs, confusion, memory loss, loss of visual acuity and lower body paralysis to name a few.

 

[Netherworld]

Hello, I'll be the factory judge reviewing your submission. If you have questions, please feel free to respond to this thread once we are underway.

 

[Netherworld]

[member="Shaehan Timiari"]

Well, this going to be a fun one. Let's take it from the top.

Corondex Arms

• Link the company submission, not the marketplace thread, please.

Before I jump into the next section, please consider this for some titanium & bullet penetration reference. Plate thickness used in personnel armor is about 10% of the plate used in the video. (3-4 mm vs 35 mm)
Now into the deep end.

Your actual strengths:

1. Can withstand glancing / short-contact Lightsaber brows
2. Disperses blaster shots, but begins to give in after a few hits
3. Can withstand tremendous kinetic impact, even from high-velocity slugthrower rounds
4. Prevents serious injury from sonic weaponry, only causes pain (which nobody will ever RP being knocked out from)
5. Anti-ion mesh provides decent resistance to EMP/Ion attacks
6. Prevents electrocution
7. Resistance to disruptors
8. Hermetically sealed against the elements
9. Bio-restorative underlay helps with accelerated healing and prevents death in case of grievous injury
10. Negates the heavy weight of the armor
11. Grants strength enhancement of up to twice their bodyweight
12. Grants agility and speed enhancement about twice the normal human ability
13. Effectually infinite power source
14. Bacta injection for additional fast healing
15. Titanium Crushgaunts

Your actual weaknesses (some have been omitted for being inaccurate / irrelevant):

1. The micro nuclear reactor can be damaged and potentially disable the suit. (It could, potentially, obliterate the wearer like a miniature nuke, but that's highly unlikely to ever be written.)
2. Stun blasts will momentarily freeze the gel layer
3. Long exposure to electricity will likewise freeze the gel layer (What kind of electricity would qualify here? Sith Lightning?)
4. The life support can be breached, causing... more exposure to the elements? (Mostly only dangerous in space)
5. Extreme heat can have adverse effects after long exposure (Which is what? Hours? Days?)
6. From -15 °C downwards, the gel begins to freeze, slowing down the wearer
7. The lower abdomen lacks hard plates

Since this is based on the Illyria class and uses much of the same features, I also have some additional questions pertaining to that.

• Crushgaunts: A pair of ultra-chrome (titanium in this case) crushgaunts aid the wearer in Industrial activities, controlling the recoil of heavy support weapons with ease or applying preternatural amount of pressure in a grip.
• Flame Retardant: The armor isn't combustible thanks to a Duravlex layer and permits the wearer to participate in operations with regular Stormtrooper Units, an asset where Eldorai Auxiliary or Security Forces are co-operating with the First Order's professional military.
• Liquid Crystal Gel-Layer: This layer of armor is responsible for the Exoskeleton's mobility, responding to mechanical stress, it supports its own weight and seamlessly mimics the movements of the wearer. It also permits the wearer to free-fall distances upto 460 meters and land without injury. Although it does 'lock' for several minutes, leaving the wearer defenceless and potentially with damaged or broken Hydraulic motors.
• Hydraulic Pumps: The Mark. I Illyia-Class Powered Combat Exoskeleton relies on hydraulic pumps for joint rotation and mobility. The Pump's hoses are normally concealed by armour but around the limbs they're easily damaged by hits that penetrate the armour's plates. If the hoses are also penetrated they'll leak hydraulic fluid, steadily robbing the armour of mobility depending on the volume of hydraulic fluid leaving the system.

The above is from the Illyria class, and since the Valora class uses 95% of the same tech, I'd like to know why these traits aren't listed here. Does it possess them? If it doesn't, why not?

Finally, with the above listed out for plain comparison – do you really believe this submission is balanced?
Depending on that, we can move on with the judgment.

 

[Hansen]

[member="Shaehan Timiari"]

Well, this going to be a fun one. Let's take it from the top.

• Link the company submission, not the marketplace thread, please.

Before I jump into the next section, please consider this for some titanium & bullet penetration reference. Plate thickness used in personnel armor is about 10% of the plate used in the video. (3-4 mm vs 35 mm)
Now into the deep end.

Your actual strengths:

1. Can withstand glancing / short-contact Lightsaber brows
2. Disperses blaster shots, but begins to give in after a few hits
3. Can withstand tremendous kinetic impact, even from high-velocity slugthrower rounds
4. Prevents serious injury from sonic weaponry, only causes pain (which nobody will ever RP being knocked out from)
5. Anti-ion mesh provides decent resistance to EMP/Ion attacks
6. Prevents electrocution
7. Resistance to disruptors
8. Hermetically sealed against the elements
9. Bio-restorative underlay helps with accelerated healing and prevents death in case of grievous injury
10. Negates the heavy weight of the armor
11. Grants strength enhancement of up to twice their bodyweight
12. Grants agility and speed enhancement about twice the normal human ability
13. Effectually infinite power source
14. Bacta injection for additional fast healing
15. Titanium Crushgaunts

Your actual weaknesses (some have been omitted for being inaccurate / irrelevant):

1. The micro nuclear reactor can be damaged and potentially disable the suit. (It could, potentially, obliterate the wearer like a miniature nuke, but that's highly unlikely to ever be written.)
2. Stun blasts will momentarily freeze the gel layer
3. Long exposure to electricity will likewise freeze the gel layer (What kind of electricity would qualify here? Sith Lightning?)
4. The life support can be breached, causing... more exposure to the elements? (Mostly only dangerous in space)
5. Extreme heat can have adverse effects after long exposure (Which is what? Hours? Days?)
6. From -15 °C downwards, the gel begins to freeze, slowing down the wearer
7. The lower abdomen lacks hard plates

Since this is based on the Illyria class and uses much of the same features, I also have some additional questions pertaining to that.

• Crushgaunts: A pair of ultra-chrome (titanium in this case) crushgaunts aid the wearer in Industrial activities, controlling the recoil of heavy support weapons with ease or applying preternatural amount of pressure in a grip.
• Flame Retardant: The armor isn't combustible thanks to a Duravlex layer and permits the wearer to participate in operations with regular Stormtrooper Units, an asset where Eldorai Auxiliary or Security Forces are co-operating with the First Order's professional military.
• Liquid Crystal Gel-Layer: This layer of armor is responsible for the Exoskeleton's mobility, responding to mechanical stress, it supports its own weight and seamlessly mimics the movements of the wearer. It also permits the wearer to free-fall distances upto 460 meters and land without injury. Although it does 'lock' for several minutes, leaving the wearer defenceless and potentially with damaged or broken Hydraulic motors.
• Hydraulic Pumps: The Mark. I Illyia-Class Powered Combat Exoskeleton relies on hydraulic pumps for joint rotation and mobility. The Pump's hoses are normally concealed by armour but around the limbs they're easily damaged by hits that penetrate the armour's plates. If the hoses are also penetrated they'll leak hydraulic fluid, steadily robbing the armour of mobility depending on the volume of hydraulic fluid leaving the system.

The above is from the Illyria class, and since the Valora class uses 95% of the same tech, I'd like to know why these traits aren't listed here. Does it possess them? If it doesn't, why not?

Finally, with the above listed out for plain comparison – do you really believe this submission is balanced?
Depending on that, we can move on with the judgment.

Okay, I'll try to address all of the points you brought up and hope my post rectifies any misunderstanding.

Yes, the titanium plates will briefly resist contact with superheated plasma blades before said hard plates are compromised and melt. Yes, it resists blaster-weapons and it'll melt potentially burning the wearer and rendering the armour useless after repeated impacts. I never attempted to quantify the value of kinetic energy the Titanium's armour plates though should you want I can indeed calculate the yield point in kinetic energy for the plate at the thickest and thinnest points though that strikes me as unnecessary, If you think that Titanium here is inappropriate or unrealistic because of its material properties I could easily change the material over to Durasteel as the plates' material.

The submission is semi-unique which means there can be a maximum four of these in circulation I believe, correct? So the implication that is being made atleast how I'm reading it is that either I won't play the weaknesses of my submissions which I find somewhat insulting or that somebody who wants to use it won't, again there's only four of them and nobody can be forced to take hits or damage on Chaos anyway, why would I submit something like this unless I permit my characters to actually get injured and genuinely play to the submission's weaknesses and strengths.

For all of the system's strengths, you'll note there are limitations to it, for example when shot with disruptors while it most likely won't kill the wearer the reactor completely shuts down and now their armour and equipment is a dead weight on them, if shot a few times with a disruptor-type weapon the reactor's ignition won't even work leaving the wearer knackered. The Bacta Injection ports aren't automatic if that's what you've assumed them to be? They're ports on the armour that allow bacta to be either intravenously or intramuscularly delivered via a syringe inserted into the port just to clarify. I tried to cover as many bases as possible in the description but little details get through.

As for the weaknesses and the electricity? Yes, it was my intention force lightning applies so getting hit with that will render the wearer defenceless. The life support weaknesses relate to a weakness from an Eldorai racial vulnerability to foreign atmospheres their race submission implies that they suffer from Hyperoxia even in Type I atmospheres that Humans find breathable additionally it's one of the characters' specific-weaknesses if that isn't enough. Hyperoxia can lead to death over time as its symptoms progressively get worse if it's not rectified.

All it takes is one breach of the armour's bodysuit to breach the hermetic seal hence why the armour's design focuses around preventing penetration and transforming energy absorbed from weapons into blunt force trauma or soft-tissue injuries, the former can cause all sorts of nasty internal injuries and soft-tissue injuries are incredibly painful. When you consider this the consequences of having no hard-plates above the hips off centre on either from the middle of the abdomen (As seen in the artwork reference) are actually pretty severe. You're right to point out the battery isn't likely to explode in normal circumstances unless I intend to kill the wearer which naturally probably won't happen for a while, which is why the non-fatal alternative is still pretty severe transporting a 300 .lbs+ dead weight is a tough logistic challenge unless you're wearing a similar suit of armour, have a vehicle on hand or are simply a monster who can easily lift that sort of mass.

And you have to remember that uninterrupted contact doesn't mean long-term, it just means that as long as the high-voltage, high current electricity is coming into contact with the armour it freezes stiff, there is an important distinction to make between uninterrupted and long-term exposure.

The Illyria-Class and Valora-Class Powered Combat Exoskeletons do utilise similar technology though my omission of the hydraulic pumps was a deliberate decision as the Valora is more compact and advanced so its load bearing is handled entirely by the Liquid-Crystal Gel Layer, though I should incorporate those strengths. Infrared radiation is a big issue on the field when trying to conceal your fighting position so I don't like seeing that omitted from what is being perceived as weakness here, all it takes is an infrared-capable camera and opposition force could very easily identify the wearer's position during combat likewise the Stormtrooper's white armour is often perceived as a weakness or pitfall where discretion, camouflage or ambiguity is necessary or desirable.

I could be completely misreading this and I'm not trying to be disrespectful or make your life a hassle but I think it's important to mention it looks like you've pruned the weaknesses and gone out for nearly every feature as a strength for whatever reason? In your post, you mention that you've omitted weaknesses because they're "Irrelevant" or "Inaccurate" So I'm curious what makes a 500-year power supply relevant to strengths when maybe a one-week one wouldn't? I don't think there is any time where that'd make a difference? If you're going to insist on dismissing weaknesses because they're irrelevant I think it is only fair that irrelevant strengths are dismissed as well.

When trying to determine whether one of my submissions is balanced or not, I look at not just the quantity of strengths vs weaknesses but the characteristics of each and classification. Vibroblades aren't equal to Lightsabers and Blast Vests aren't equal to Exoskeletons or Powersuits, the former of which is stated to offer protection akin to light vehicles. Do I think the submission is balanced? Yes; albeit barely at best I will admit. I'll have to see about going through the strengths and weaknesses and elaborating more in the description.

[member="Netherworld"]

 

[Netherworld]

[member="Shaehan Timiari"]

[SIZE=10.5pt]Semi-unique isn’t limited at 4 unless the submission specifically states so. Any PC could use this, and for that reason things need to be stated clearly. Anyone facing this sub in PvP shouldn’t have to read additional explanations, as submissions are meant to be black-on-white. The same goes for anyone who wants to use this in the future and isn’t [/SIZE][SIZE=10.5pt]you[/SIZE][SIZE=10.5pt], the submitter.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=10.5pt]That being said, yes, some weaknesses were omitted because they don’t play a significant role in PvP engagements. Others – like the vibroblade weakness – were omitted because they’re inaccurate. Physical blades don’t cut through plate armor, except if they’re Force Imbued or some such (and even then it doesn’t happen immediately).[/SIZE]

[SIZE=10.5pt]Overall, your armor has a plethora of strengths counterbalanced by a number of good weaknesses. The problem here isn’t that your weaknesses don’t work, but that the power of the submission simply outweighs them.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=10.5pt]Thus – please determine which strengths / features mean the most to you and represent the core idea for this armor, and tone it down beyond that. This includes alterations to the Resistances ratings, which currently all sit at [/SIZE][SIZE=10.5pt]HIgh[/SIZE][SIZE=10.5pt].[/SIZE]

[SIZE=10.5pt]Once you have done so, @mention me and we’ll see where to go from there.[/SIZE]

 

[Hansen]

[member="Shaehan Timiari"]

[SIZE=10.5pt]Semi-unique isn’t limited at 4 unless the submission specifically states so. Any PC could use this, and for that reason things need to be stated clearly. Anyone facing this sub in PvP shouldn’t have to read additional explanations, as submissions are meant to be black-on-white. The same goes for anyone who wants to use this in the future and isn’t [/SIZE][SIZE=10.5pt]you[/SIZE][SIZE=10.5pt], the submitter.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=10.5pt]That being said, yes, some weaknesses were omitted because they don’t play a significant role in PvP engagements. Others – like the vibroblade weakness – were omitted because they’re inaccurate. Physical blades don’t cut through plate armor, except if they’re Force Imbued or some such (and even then it doesn’t happen immediately).[/SIZE]

[SIZE=10.5pt]Overall, your armor has a plethora of strengths counterbalanced by a number of good weaknesses. The problem here isn’t that your weaknesses don’t work, but that the power of the submission simply outweighs them.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=10.5pt]Thus – please determine which strengths / features mean the most to you and represent the core idea for this armor, and tone it down beyond that. This includes alterations to the Resistances ratings, which currently all sit at [/SIZE][SIZE=10.5pt]HIgh[/SIZE][SIZE=10.5pt].[/SIZE]

[SIZE=10.5pt]Once you have done so, @mention me and we’ll see where to go from there.[/SIZE]

I must disagree with this response and wholeheartedly reject it, not all of the weaknesses will be pronounced or prominent in combat engagements it is true but they're there so you can't just say they don't work. The nature of fighting you can't always pick the environment or your opponents and an unhealthy emphasis seems to be placed on PvP where you can't force other writers to take hits or write killing other writers' characters anyway so what is the necessity of needing to hammer that point home? I'll keep in mind that the number of models needs to be explicitly stated in any future submissions that I put up at semi-unique.

You admit that the armour is well balanced between the strengths and weaknesses which I am pleased to see you concede, but then proceed to contradict yourself. The weaknesses are very much real, valid and they are exploitable under the right circumstances with the correct tools or weapons. Your adjudication seems to be based entirely on the fact the submission is powerful which is relative; Good, that's what the cutting edge of technology should look like. I've submitted "powerful" items to the factory before, been pushed back for one reason or another and then I got them approved because I put time, effort and work into them. Yes, I'm aware that the factory doesn't accept precedent, but hear my next thought out.

If I were to gimp this in any way as you suggest it would make it inferior to the Illyria-Class Powered Combat Exoskeleton that is unacceptable entirely from an IC point of view and FO Eldorai Troopers equipped with this would be taking a massive downgrade; not an upgrade across the board which is what it is designed as and nobody is going to waste credits on an inferior product. I'll be taking a second chance on this submission as I am entirely unsatisfied with the response to the hard work and time I sank into the Valora's submission. That said, thank you for taking the time to review this, you spurred me on to go even deeper into the finer details of the armours functions and design.

[member="Netherworld"]

 

[Netherworld]

[member="Shaehan Timiari"]

As you wish. Tagging the FA so she can see your second chance request. [member="Cira"]

 

[Cira]

[member="Shaehan Timiari"]

Thank you for your time. I was reviewing your second chance when i noticed the following; the primary source you have is for a submission that was accidentally approved with a restricted material (Ultrachrome) at limited production and no restricted material mission complete. This is an error, and as such, will be retroactively reviewed once more.

As for your request for second chance, I am a bit confused. Let me please check for understanding.

You are requesting a second chance because you believe that all the current features are valid and should be allowed to be approved based on the established weaknesses you've given and due to the precedent of a past approval?

 

[Hansen]

[member="Cira"], I'm not attempting an appeal based precedent I know that precedent doesn't have any kind of binding authority on judges and that each submission is judged on its own merits.

I believe that all of the current weaknesses and strengths are completely valid and as the reviewing judge conceded do in fact balance one-another out, they shouldn't be dismissed just because they can't all be exploited at any moment that's simply not fair. The submission is admittedly powerful but I do not believe that should be a valid justification for withholding approval when balanced against its production rate, in this case, there is only to be four of this model manufactured and in circulation, ultimately I could lower its production rate further to Unique if it's due to concern about other writers just picking a Valora-Class suit up. Exoskeletons and Powersuits are both canon armour concepts within Star Wars and Heavy Exoskeletons, in particular, are cited as providing comparable protection to light vehicles, and now while the Valora doesn't provide protection comparable to a light IFV I'm sure you can see why I'm taken aback by it being labelled as being too protective or "powerful" when there are canon items sitting out there that arguably offer superior capabilities and any writer can just pick one up without putting any effort into a submission.

 

[Cira]

[member="Shaehan Timiari"]

It can be frustrating when one puts heart and soul into a submission for use of a character. Indeed, there are canon items out there in the Star Wars universe that are frighteningly overpowered; we cannot regulate those within the factory as they are canon. The way they are regulated, however, is by the member base via the report button if any of these canon items, as well as factory submissions, are ever abused.

Factory 4.0 was based on the premise that submissions need to be balanced for fairplay. Note, this does not mean that one may have a powerful item simply by adding as many weaknesses as one may be able to add. There is a give and take here. Ultimately, the Factory is optional -- until a report makes it otherwise.

This is a fairly powerful item, more suited for unique than semi unique. There are a few very interesting and solid weaknesses with excellent forethought. On the same token, some of these weaknesses are circumstantial based on the environment, whereas your "Benefits" are a constant. Some are also very similar weaknesses, like the inability of infrared camouflage and the fact that it is big and shiny with your passive camouflage weakness. Some of these benefits confuse me -- how is ionic damage converted into blunt force trauma? and if it is, how is it possible for it to have a kinetic resistance of high? Maybe it can be solved by simply rewording and elaborating? Ultimately, I can understand your frustrations as well as the FJ's point of view.

The Valora has quite a large thermal/infrared footprint making it very possible to camouflage the wearer's position from hostiles with multi-spectrum imaging systems or sensors that detect infrared activity.

Also, I think you typoed here by saying "possible" instead of "Impossible" if this is a weakness.

Either way, I would be happy to grant you that second chance with a Factory RPJ, but I first want to ask if you are certain you would like to request a second chance instead of attempting to balance out this submission with the current judge?

 

[Hansen]

I wouldn't be so dishonest as to try and get a powerful submission past by just throwing in as many strengths and weaknesses as possible. I list off the strengths and weaknesses and give a brief explanation of them before continuing on to provide a much more thorough description that in total is sometimes larger than some of my own and other writers' character profiles, if that doesn't prove the sincerity of my intentions when showing off the strengths and weaknesses of the design I'm not sure what will. That's why the report system exists in the first place so that if writers are abusing a submission it can be reported and staff can examine the said report, yes?

It is a fairly powerful item and for the sake of Fairplay I reduced the production to unique for the sake of making sure not just anybody can pick one of these up willy nilly which was never my intention. I mean you're right the benefits are constant but so are the weaknesses, whether they can be exploited is entirely dependant on the tools or weapons in a certain environment at any given time, unarmed man or woman facing down the wearer? Pretty knackered can't exploit jack there but a man armed with a vibroknife standing right in front of the wearer? That man could inflict serious injuries on the wearer. When I go for weaknesses in armour systems I look at two things mainly to try and keep things varied and interesting; Design Flaws and Protective Qualities. The camouflage I put as separate because an armour system could conceivably have VERY good visible light passive camouflage but an atrocious IR/UV signature, take for example Clone Trooper Armour which sticks out like a sore thumb on the visible light spectrum but is quite camouflaged and colourful on the Ultraviolet Spectrum.

Ionic Damage is converted into blunt force trauma because the system is equipped with an anti-ion mesh and energy cannot be created or destroyed only change form according to Issac Newton's laws of the conservation of Energy, and while Star Wars is often characterised as science fantasy or science fiction I like making use of real concepts or fictional concepts introduced in the settings' context. It's like when Chewbacca shot that one FO stormie with his Bowcaster and it sent the guy comically hurtling through the air and they slammed into the wall; Got the idea from watching TFA again and was entertained by how comical it was, decided that was what Disruptors were going to do to the Valora. Body Armour in the modern day operates on a similar principle where the kinetic energy of rounds is distributed across the strike face preventing penetration but can leave serious blunt trauma and internal injuries. Likewise when the Valora is struck by a kinetic projectile it also just absorbs that energy; transferring it to the wearer, it's not mutually exclusive disruptors are just more powerful than typical slugthrowers so the effects are more pronounced i.e being flung violently into a wall and having your armour shutdown versus flinching from a dull but intense localised pain. Thanks for picking up the camouflage typo, that was an error on my part.

Yes, I am certain that I'm going to continue with my request for a second chance. I would like to have a Factory RPJ examine the submission and then back and forth and then make an adjudication. Again I thank both you and Nether for taking time out to sit down with me through this, you've both been a great help!

[member="Cira"]

 

[Cira]

[member="Shaehan Timiari"]

Alright. Second Chance granted.

[member="Jamie Pyne"] will be the RPJ Reviewing your submission.

 

[Jamie Pyne]

[member="Shaehan Timiari"]

Production: Unique (Shaehan Timiari)

Intent: Creating a limited-production

Affiliation: Shaehan Timiari, First Order Auxillary, 26th United Isianthar Infantry Regiment.

These statements conflict. Please bring these fields in line with one another.

Nuclear Microfusion Cell (500-year charge, replaceable).

This is not a technology which exists in Star Wars, nor does it exist in SWRP canon. This is a crossover technology from Fallout and to my knowledge does not exist in the real world either, therefore I have no means of referencing its capabilities, nor its limitations. Please remove this and all references to it and/or substitute it with canon or SWRP canon cells.

Plasma Blades: Plasma torches and lightsaber-type weapons have difficulty cutting through the Valora-class armour thanks to a Duravle

Each body part was cast from high-grade Duravlex. This off-white substance's melting point was at over 4,000 degrees centigrade, but the droids seldom worked in blast furnaces over 1,650 degrees centigrade.

The above quote is from the Wookie article. Duravlex protects up to 4,000 degrees. While there is no absolute consensus as to how hot a lightsaber is, a fairly accepted number is greater than 15,000 degrees, given that real world plasma welding torches can reach 28,000 degrees. I would venture to argue that a lightsaber is likely more powerful than a plasma torch, but I will round down for the sake of suspension of belief. That being said, Duravlex and Titanium will not protect to the extent you've listed your resistance at. Please drop this to Moderate.

Ionic Activity: Valora's material and chemical properties prevent the wearer from being directly electrocuted and successfully prevents complete molecular breakdown when impacted by small-arm disruptor-type weapons.

To my knowledge there is absolutely no known ability to prevent the molecular breakdown of a disruptor-type weapon. Please remove this wording.

Liquid-Crystal Gel-Layer: Thanks to its Liquid-Crystal Gel-Layer Valora supports its own weight and dramatically increases the physical strength and endurance of its wearer to the point where they can lift objects double their own body mass, giving Eldorai Huntresses a distinct advantage when attempting to lift heavy weaponry or fighting disarmed. The Gel-Layer will also absorb the hydrostatic shock from falling at the risk of failing and transferring the impact to the wearer.

Where does this ability come from? Liquid Crystal does not have these properties.

Stun Setting: Stun settings on blasters trick the power armour's Gel-layer to think it's being subjected to massive hydrostatic stress and so freezes the wearer in place for a moment while the armour's circuitry cycles.

My problem with this weakness is that it feels hardly able to be considered a weakness with its wording as freezes the wearer in place for a moment.

Armour Spalling: High-velocity kinetic weapons when impacting the armour plates can cause spalling injuries where even though penetration is prevented; tiny Titanium flakes can shear away from the plate at high speed and cause severe internal injuries to Valora's wearer.

This weakness seems to be completely mitigated by the strength of the opposite degree.

Bio-restorative Underlay: Featuring a bio-restorative underlay that comes into contact with the epidermis, this underlay promotes cellular growth on the dermis and sub-dermis which aids in the healing of injuries to the skin, soft tissue, bones and organs. The layer also helps keep the armour's wearer alive even after sustaining grievous or mortal wounds.

Disruptors carried by infantry will not disintegrate the armour, however, impacts to the system will trigger a reactor shut-down only solvable with a system reboot, rendering the wearer paralysed with the weight of the Valora on their body and this assumes the armour is only struck once, successive shots can completely short-circuit the armour's ignition completely disabling Valora and entombing the warrior wearing it.

This follows what I mentioned regarding disruptors above. Please remove this.

All that being said:

• Protection against lightsabers
• Protection against blasters
• Protection against sonic
• Protection against EMP
• Protection against all elements (save for sustained and prolonged exposure to electricity or sub-arctic cold)
• Protection against loss of gravity and atmosphere
• Protection against kinetic weapons
• Self-healing from all injuries sustained
• The ability to wear this armor for an unlimited period of time without charge
• Nearly every conceivable technical gadget for every conceivable situation, save for an energy shield and a personal cloak
• Greatly increased strength and agility beyond human capability, while also allowing the person to run at 48 km/h

As for its weaknesses:

• Can be stunned for a moment.
• Can be rendered stranded in extreme cold or dehydrated in extreme heat in sustained exposure
• Isn't stealthy
• In the incredibly unlikely event that gravity or pressure changes so drastically in a short period, that can transfer to the wearer
• Sustained electricity can maybe make it hard to move

Your resistances are all listed at high. You have submitted an armor that generally protects against nearly every conceivable threat, while mitigating its weaknesses in other areas or downplaying the impact those weaknesses can have upon the wearer by the wording used in those weaknesses. This armor will effectively make the wearer a God.

To be quite honest I am halfway between deciding to simply deny this on concept based on the very clear balance issues present. Unless this armor is substantially mitigated in a number of areas, I don't see this passing.

 

[Hansen]

[member="Jamie Pyne"],

Thanks for getting back to me in such a timely manner! The concept of a Microfusion battery can conceivably exist wherever Nuclear Fusion could be used as the "Fusion" Process usually refers to some manner of Hydrogen-Helium Fusion battery which was what is intended here, I'm a sucker for little details like that, I can change it to the more vague "Hydrogen-Helium" Power Cell if that would be more acceptable, but it seems to me that the physics concept of Nuclear Fusion does indeed exist in Star Wars so alternatively I could change it from 'Microfusion Battery' to 'Fusion Battery' or 'Hydrogen-Helium Nuclear Fusion Power Cell' If you're concerned about the implication it's small when it isn't to be honest. It's not something exclusive to the "Fallout Universe" nor was it an attempt at some weird crossover, Power Armour/Powered Exoskeletons in numerous science fiction/fantasy settings use a miniaturized Nuclear Fusion reactor for their powerplant.

TECHNICAL SPECIFICATIONS

• Classification: (Anti-Blaster, Anti-Ballistic, Multipurpose, Other)
• Weight: (Via Metric System. Appropriate weight varies by quality, material, and character species. For example, standard Mandalorian armor is around 10 kg. Armor made of true Mandalorian iron, or a full set of combat gear for a soldier in the field, can be around 25kg. For special items, try to find the weight of a real-world equivalent.)
• Resistances (For each category choose from: None, Very Low, Low, Average, High, Very High, Extreme Ratings of High, Very High, and Extreme will need to be added as strengths with elaboration.)

This is from the armour template which was last updated by Cira, August 20th 06:11 A.M as you'll note there is no 'Moderate' Rating now I'm unsure if that's just an error on Cira's part or something but the main contributing factor to the fact all of the ratings are listed as 'High' is because there is simply not moderate rating as you suggest putting here for some of the ratings; Which I might add I will happily reduce under the presumption it is a valid rating and omitted here by mistake. I refused to reduce the ratings as suggested by Neth largely because I was under the presumption this would mean reducing them to 'Average'.

Now that I have a better idea of what a Lightsaber's blade burns at in terms of temperature, I can get a better gauge on performance and work that into the submission. Now the Liquid Crystal Gel-Layer? The idea is that this layer is in a semi-crystalline state and the crystals used have the properties of a Superconductor and creates a Piezoelectric Effect whenever mechanical load is applied to it i.e when the wearer takes a step or lifts a heavy object. It's the same reason why the armour locks up when in contact with electricity or exited ions, because the armour is tricked into thinking it and its wearer is under massive mechanical stresses and tries to protect them.

Edits:

• Reduced Ratings taking into account the existence of a Moderate Rating
• Reduced Plasma Blade resistance considering the estimated temperature of Lightsabres and Plasma Torches.
• Removed Crushgaunts.
• Added weakness against Particle Beam-based weapons.
• Misc. edits to weaknesses attempted to clarify, less ambiguous.
• Misc. edits to strengths attempted to clarify, less ambiguous.

 

[Jamie Pyne]

[member="Shaehan Timiari"]

• For the sake of keeping this as short as possible I am going to be forward. Regardless of whatever scientific term chosen to label the battery as, a 500 year charge is not going to pass as acceptable, regardless of the real-life implications of its label or use. The reason being this is power armor, and there is no power armor on SWRP that passes with an unlimited charge. I wouldn't entertain the idea of a single month of continuous operation.

• I apologize as I seem to have made an oversight in the ratings system. Moderate was replaced in the previous Factory update to eliminate confusion as it was a synonym for Average. That being said, the submission as a whole has to be considered when judging these types of armors. I'm not demanding these all be listed at Average, or below average, but High across the board doesn't work either, given the content of the submission. My suggestion would be to raise Blasters, and EMP to high, leave lightsabers as low, leave Kinetic and Elemental as Average (Or increase one and decrease the other each by one.), and leave Sonic as average. Something to keep in mind is that Average does not denote that it has no protection against such damage. It's square in the middle of the ratings. Even Low has partial, limited resistance. If you choose to raise Kinetic to High and lower Elemental to Low I would ask that you edit your weaknesses to include a more debilitating state for a wider range of conditions.

Now the Liquid Crystal Gel-Layer? The idea is that this layer is in a semi-crystalline state and the crystals used have the properties of a Superconductor and creates a Piezoelectric Effect whenever mechanical load is applied to it i.e when the wearer takes a step or lifts a heavy object. It's the same reason why the armour locks up when in contact with electricity or exited ions, because the armour is tricked into thinking it and its wearer is under massive mechanical stresses and tries to protect them.

• That's all well and good, but that is not what the Liquid Crystal referenced does. If your intention is to use a liquid crystal technology such as that, it will need to be submitted separately, or a verifiable article, or source directly from Star Wars canon linked. At present, the linked article refers to a substance in displays and nothing else. It is not a valid technology and therefore I cannot substitute it to a single writer's representation of it, else I would have to do that for everyone, and there would then be multiple interpretations of the same technology.

Get back to me with this and I will re-review this tomorrow.

 

[Hansen]

[member="Jamie Pyne"],

All good! Thanks for clearing up the ratings for me, I agree with your assessment of the submission's qualities and adjusted the ratings as you suggested. I've additionally adjusted the Nuclear Fusion Reactor, Its power supply unit will fail and burn out approximately after two weeks (336 Hours) of continued operation under typical conditions rendering the suit inert. I trust you'll find that more acceptable? I must ask would it be more appropriate to submit the bodysuit or the technology itself?

Also; I've gone ahead and added another weakness which involves there being a conspicuous lack of hard Titanium armour plates on the wearer's back. And changed the position of the life support system and fusion battery to the upper back for sake of consistency with the reference artwork.

 

[Jamie Pyne]

[member="Shaehan Timiari"]

This looks mostly fine now, my only concerns are what I had previously mentioned regarding the liquid crystal, and if you could go through the description and edit out any necessary items related to the earlier edits.

Liquid-Crystal Gel-Layer: Thanks to its Liquid-Crystal Gel-Layer Valora supports its own weight and dramatically increases the physical strength and endurance of its wearer to the point where they can lift objects double their own body mass, giving Eldorai Huntresses a distinct advantage when attempting to lift heavy weaponry or fighting disarmed. The Gel-Layer will also absorb the hydrostatic shock from falling at the risk of failing and transferring the impact to the wearer.

 

[Jamie Pyne]

[member="Shaehan Timiari"] I am going to archive this until the liquid crystal business is sorted out.