Private Make Me Better Than Him

[Maran]

He started it. Looking all smug and superior after beating her into the ground. After her valiant attempt to win, dashed by his superior skills and strength. Then he went so far as to mock her. Her! Telling her to get an actual lesson for the next time. Mocking and a threat. Was that how it actually went down? Absolutely not. But when Maran thought of Tenn Kalos and his smug face singing on stage and being all cool and actually really cool oh no why was he coo-

No! Revenge! Revenge was what mattered. Don't get distracted.

The Mirialan swung her blade with a righteous fury. Overhead strikes, one after another. And another. .. She didn't actually know any other way to swing a blade effectively. Okay so he had a point, but still! Her frustration bubbled as she kept swinging. Faster, harder. Then, the unthinkable.

The blade flew from her hands and towards the far wall. Thankfully it wasn't y'know, a real lightsaber. But what would be the odds her new Master decided to walk in just as the blade went flying for the door he'd enter in by? Not high, right?

Right?

Jasper Kai'el

 

[Jasper Kai'el]

Coruscant, Jedi Temple
Tags: Maran

Jasper walked into the sparring hall mechanical hand outstretched to catch his padawan's thrown sparring blade. His survival instincts were good at least, even with his limited force sensitivity.

"Okay then," he sighed. "Looks like we have a lot to work on."

He knew what this was about. It was revenge, competition with another padawan around Maran's age. She had lost, and she clearly wanted to get back at him. That was fine. Competition was the foundation of improvement, but it was clear that there was a lot she needed to learn. First of all...

"Let's start by bringing the rage down a few beats," Jasper told her. "You're using a lightsaber, not a club. Flailing may feel good in the moment, but it's a good way to leave yourself open." Where was he going to start with this? He had been thinking about what he was going to tell her for hours now. "First of all, I'm well aware of your... unique ability. Now, someone else may frown on the use of Malacia, but I don't care either way. In a real battle, any edge that you can gain should be gained, no questions asked. Sith don't exactly fight with honor. In the ring, however, things are a bit different. There are rules and regulations, and such tactics are generally penalized. Under normal circumstances, this wouldn't be an issue, but it seems that you've developed an overreliance on this ability. Case in point," he paused, offering her the training saber. It was pretty self explanatory.

If Maran really wanted to start winning duels, it was going to have to come through skill, not just making people dizzy. To do that, he needed to start by gauging her current skill. He assumed it was Form I and very basic, nothing more complex than a disarming strike. He started, of course, by taking off his shoes. That would be important later. Then, with a casual stance, he drew a training saber of his own, assuming a basic Makashi opening.

"Alright then," the knight continued. "Let's start by seeing what you do know. You attack, I'll defend. All you need to do is make me move back one step. Anything goes, Malacia included."

This would be fun.

 

[Maran]

And thete he was. Green cheeks turned a deep shade of red as she looked off. Frowned. Pouted. Her ineptitude, born from her overreliance on her skill, huh? It was true. Her dizzy thing made a lot of this kind of stuff easy as a youngling. The dizzy and the other thing. Malacia though? That was the term?

For once, though, she nodded. Listened. Even with her embarrassment she listened to him. She wanted to get better. Wipe Tenn's smug face from her mind. Be braver for Lukan Rath. Don't be a burden. That's all she wanted. And maybe be a badass at the same time.

She took up the saber. Watching him. Make him step back? And dizzy was fine? She squinted. No way. "Okay.. Easy mode." Then she ran forward. Brought that influence around, trying to send Jasper into a tailspin with dizziness before bringing down an overhead strike. The one kind of strike she could do.

Jasper Kai'el

 

[Jasper Kai'el]

Coruscant, Jedi Temple
Tags: Maran

"Okay.. Easy mode."

Jasper grinned when he heard this. This was going to be fun. The nausea hit pretty quickly, giving him a moment of fuzzy vision. It reminded him very much of the time he had accidentally wound up with a hangover. Turning stomach, pounding forehead, and a bit of a shake to his step. It was okay. Jasper had experienced extreme fatigue and blood loss before. It was more of an irritation than anything. As long as his feet were planted on the ground, he wasn't budging.

Maran ran in next, bringing her blade down in an overhead strike. There were a variety of ways that he could go about this, but he chose to keep it simple, bringing up his blade to lock their sabers.

"Not bad," he shrugged. "A bit of a headache can certainly be distracting. Now what do you plan on doing?"

It was time to see if she knew anything else. An overhead strike would only get her so far.

 

[Maran]

And he didn't fumble. Panic filled her mind for a moment as her blade clashed against his. She couldn't even make him unsteady. She glanced around frantically, as if there was something she could use against him. All she had though was this dizzy trick. She tried to intensify that feeling, make it stronger. Didn't. Actually made it weaker with her panic and uncertainty. She pulled her blade back and just.. Swung. Aimless. Very much like it was a club.

"Why is this so difficult, damnit!"

Jasper Kai'el

 

[Jasper Kai'el]

Coruscant, Jedi Temple
Tags: Maran

Jasper sighed, lifting his bare hand and catching her wrist to stop her.

"It's hard because it's meant to be," Jasper told Maran. "I needed to see what you do under pressure. Needless to say I have my answer."

Maran was highly reactionary, easily giving in to her anxieties, though he had already figured this would be the case. As for her actual skill, she only knew one move. It was going to take a lot to get her into shape to duel properly.

"Now, lets start with some constructive criticism," he began, stowing his training saber. "First, and this is most important I may add, you start matches with a lot of bluster, but you fall apart pretty quickly when it get's tough. If you're going to be successful in any kind of duel, you need to learn focus, and that's gonna mean confronting a lot of things you really aren't gonna like. So for now, we'll work on your form."

Jasper knew exactly what it was she would have to do. The Trial of Spirit. He was pretty confident in that. To confront herself and her anxieties would certainly fall into this, and that was going to take time. A lot of time. Maybe he was in over his head. Still, he had committed to seeing her through her training. Jasper didn't abandon people.

"Okay," Jasper continued, "Let's start with something simple. Form I. Know anything about that at least? And be honest with me. I can't help you if you don't tell me the truth."

He already knew the answer to this too.

 

[Maran]

She full on pouted as he caught her wrist and stopped her from swinging. She knew she wasn't good, but still! She didn't want to just hear him tell her how much she failed at being a Jedi. Not that that's what he said. Just.. that's how she felt. Even listening to his words and knowing what he was saying, she couldn't help but feel bitter about how she was. She hated feeling less than others.

Part of the reason why she always lashed out.

".. I know of it." She wasn't that ignorant. Even younglings learned Shi-Cho. She just.. Never bothered much. Never had to.

Jasper Kai'el

 

[Jasper Kai'el]

Coruscant, Jedi Temple
Tags: Maran

"Good," Jasper told her. "We're gonna ignore that for now."

To ignore Shi Cho would seem to anyone like blasphemy, but Jasper had his reasons. If she already knew the basics from her youngling training, that was all she would need. There was a different form he wanted to start her on, one that would do her some good.

"Today you'll be learning the basics of Form III," he continued. "Soresu, the resilience form. Now, maybe that sounds a little strange, but I like to look at all variables when taking dueling into consideration. You have a natural gift that you can make use of. That's a good place to start. You don't want to over rely on it, but you do want to make sure that it's taken into account when going into a fight."

Jasper ignited his training saber again, beginning to model the Form III opening.

"Soresu is more reserved than other forms," the knight explained, "But for good reason. In a life for death situation, the defensive form is one that commands respect. After all, it's hard to win a duel if you can't hit your target. Now, you have something unique on your side. Usually Form III relies on waiting for your opponent to slip up to make an offensive move. I'd wager that giving your enemy nausea would speed this process up a little."

Maybe she thought it was lame, but Jasper had put a lot of thought into this decision. Given her current skillset, it seemed a natural fit, even if Maran didn't recognize it yet. That and he'd much rather give her the tools to survive a SIth encounter first and foremost. She wasn't a knight. Not yet. He would be the one making the sacrifices around here.

"Following what I'm saying?"

 

[Maran]

Soresu? The boring form?

Maran visibly cringed at the idea. At the stance Jasper took. Going on the defensive, how was she supposed to beat up Tann or anyone else if she wasn't go to strike first or hard or.. Ever. Thought the cringe faded as she listened. His intentions, his idea. Using the nausea as like a ticking time bomb while just surviving their onslaught. It'd be handy, but at the same time, how was she supposed to beat people up without her power?

".. Okay fine. But I still wanna be able to fight without my power. That's what Ten- The last guy I fought said."

Jasper Kai'el

 

[Jasper Kai'el]

Coruscant, Jedi Temple
Tags: Maran

"You will," Jasper assured her. "The use of lightsaber forms isn't ridged. It's a tool kit, with each piece an important building block. In your case, defense is a good place to start."

He shot his student a grin. Jasper was well aware that she was frustrated, but he'd drill a bit of patience into that thick skull of hers in time.

"Relax," he added. "These things take time. You'd rather not take shortcuts anyways," Jasper paused, lifting his mechanical arm, "I mean, if you wanna keep all your limbs that is. Come on. Let's start with something simple."

Jasper made his way over to the store room where they stored all of the sparring materials. Training sabers, combat droids... you name it. He procured a seeker droid and a blindfold and turned back to Maran.

"Reflex is an important part of Soresu," the knight explained. "As I'm sure you're well aware of, the force gives one a heightened awareness of danger. The resilience form weaponizes this reflex, turning it into a means of wearing down your opponent while conserving your energy. I find that it works well when combined with Form V, but we'll get to that in time. For now, we'll start by getting your body used to utilizing this reflex. We'll start with this seeker droid, then slowly work up to a sparring droid."

The knight handed Maran the blindfold, which he was sure she knew what to do with. This was basic padawan training after all.

"This should get your reflexes warmed up. From there, we'll crank up the difficulty. Now remember, I'm not expecting perfection. Just give it an honest good effort, okay?"

Whenever she was ready, Jasper wound activate the droid.

 

[Maran]

Reflexes. Seeker droids. It really was like being a youngling again. She nodded slowly. It didn't seem any different from the basic Shi-Cho training she'd gotten and neglected keeping up on. Yeah. Okay. She took up the blindfold, covered her eyes. Took up her stance. And just.. Waited. The seeker droid did as it did. Floated around, occasionally shot. Most of which just hit her straight up. She was too slow to react, too slow to listen to her instincts.

It felt familiar. Not being able to act. It was frustrating, annoying.

Frightening.

Dread crept up. In the darkness of her blindfold all she was left was her memories.

"Hey kid!"

Panic. Overwhelming panic. She curled in on herself, dropping to her knees, hugging herself. Scrambling to take off the blindfold.

Jasper Kai'el

 

[Jasper Kai'el]

Coruscant, Jedi Temple
Tags: Maran

"Oh boy," Jasper muttered under his breath.

There was still something on her mind. Something that scared her. The problem was that Jasper didn't know what it was she was afraid of. Maran wouldn't tell, or at least not in the state that she was in. Jasper grabbed the seeker droid, shutting it off. They would need to start with something different. The knight turned to his student, holding out his mechanical hand to help her to her feet and giving her a warm smile.

"Let's take a break," he decided. "We can go get some lunch."

She'd have plenty of time to learn sparing later. Her mental health was far more important.

 

[Maran]

Take a break?

Maran stared up at Jasper for a moment, visibly just not okay. But nodded. Food. Food sounded better. Stop thinking about the other things. Stop thinking about anything. Just follow. She took his hand and pulled herself up. Offered a brief, fake smile.

"Okay."

Jasper Kai'el

 

[Jasper Kai'el]

Coruscant, Jedi Temple
Tags: Maran

Maran's smile was obviously fake. Jasper would know. He had faked a smile plenty of times in his life. Still, he didn't make mention of it. They weren't going to the mess hall. Frankly, he wanted a good meal. There was a food truck just outside the temple that Ara Sheridan had taken him to a while back. It seemed a good place to go get something to eat, and maybe more secluded then the always observant gaze of those in the temple. As they made their way out, Jasper gave a little bit of context...

"I came here once with a friend of mine," he told her, "The food here's good. Easily better then what they serve in the temple these days, and I remember when the food was awful."

From there, it was the motions. Ordering food, finding an isolated place to sit, and now the hard part; Getting to what was on Maran's mind.

"Alright," Jasper began with a sigh. "Look. You wanna get stronger. I get that. I even fully support it... but training with a blade won't help your anxiety. I know what it's like to let fear control you. I used to be afraid of everything. Failure... losing friends... talking to people. It drove me insane, pushing me to prove to the galaxy that I wasn't some complete mistake, a fluke that wound up with a laser sword."

He paused to grab there food as it arrived before continuing.

"I'm still afraid," he admitted. "People seem to think highly of me as of late. The Jedi are looking for leaders these days. The people I followed are either gone or busy. There seems to be an unspoken expectation that I need to fill the shoes they left. They need me to be that... but I don't know if I can. I'm afraid that I'll wind up making a fool of myself. 'Jasper Kai'el, the Knight who Couldn't.'"

Jasper slouched back in his chair a little. He shared his anxieties with very few individuals, but he needed Maran to know that it was okay. Fear was organic. If she could see that it wasn't wrong to have these emotions, maybe she could at least begin to reflect.

"I don't want you to make the mistake I made in letting all that consume me," Jasper continued. "I want to help you succeed, but I can't do that if I don't know what you're struggling with. You don't have to tell me now... but eventually you'll need to get it off your chest. Whenever you decide that is, I want you to know that I'm here to help with whatever that means. Even if it means having grey hair by the time I'm twenty-five."

 

[Maran]

Maran nodded slowly, letting the smell of food fill her nose. It smelled good. Real good, actually. She listened in silence, though. Actually listening to him, cause why not at this point. She had no reason not to trust his words, and he was her Master, right? Yeah. Yeah. A frown settled on her lips though.

".. I froze up when someone pointed a blaster at me. .. It's scary."

Jasper Kai'el

 

[Jasper Kai'el]

Coruscant, Jedi Temple
Tags: Maran

"...Yeah," Jasper nodded in understanding after a moment of pause,

There were a lot of thoughts running through his head right now. When did this happen? Why was she there? Who pointed a gun at her and how was he going to break all the bones in their body? That could wait. What mattered was that Maran had openly stated what was on her mind. That was a good start.

"I get it," he continued. "Death is... terrifying. I used to think I didn't care, but I found out the hard way I did. That isn't wrong, you know. Everyone is afraid of it to some capacity, even masters... but we need to find a way to keep you from freezing up should it ever happen again. I... don't wanna lose you like that."

Jasper sighed. This teaching thing was really shaping up to be harder than he thought. To help someone else overcome their fears was not as easy as those who had helped him had made it seem. It was going to take time, but he promised he would see her though it. He didn't make promises lightly.

"Try not to get hung up on it for now," Jasper decided. "You should eat while your food's still warm."

 

[Maran]

Loose her like that?

She blinked, more surprised that he'd mention her like that of all things. Like he cared. Well, he did care. That much was obvious. She just.. She wasn't used to it. She nodded slowly, looking down at her food. And eventually just took a bite. It was good food. Really good food. There was a soft sniffle as Maran tried to just focus on eating and not the surge of emotion as she felt cared for for the first time in a long time.

"T.. Thank you.."

Jasper Kai'el

 

[Jasper Kai'el]

Coruscant, Jedi Temple
Tags: Maran

Jasper simply gave Maran a warm smile. That was the most genuine thing she had said since they met, and that was all the proof he needed that he was doing something good here.

"Hey," he began, his tone filled with reassurance, "That's what I'm here for, right? We're in this together now. Remember that."

He had waited long enough. Jasper finally sank his teeth into his burger. It was just as good as when Ara took him. That had been a while ago now. Things had been so different. He had just been an extra that wound up out of his league, surrounded by the rising stars of his generation. Now he wasn't sure what he was. As long as Maran was receiving support, however, he didn't really care what he was.

"Alright, I'm done being sappy," Jasper assured her. "I suck at it. You wanna call it a day, or do you think you're okay to give that training another shot?"

 

[Maran]

"I.. Yeah. I want to try training again."

Was she better? No. No she wasn't. But she wasn't going to get better avoiding it. And if it was Jasper, she'd be fine, right? She let out a breath as she finished off her food. Smiled just a little. If there was anyone she could trust, it'd have to be her Master, right?

Jasper Kai'el

 

[Jasper Kai'el]

Coruscant, Jedi Temple
Tags: Maran

"I.. Yeah. I want to try training again."

"Alright," Jasper agreed with a reaffirming nod. "Let's give it another shot then."

The knight was quick to finish up what little remained of his food before the two returned to the Temple. Back to the sparring hall, the mats, and the seeker droid. Jasper handed Maran the blind fold again.

"What's important here is your reflexes," he reiterated, this time with a gentler tone than before. "No thoughts, just you. Relax. Let your body take over. Don't worry about getting hurt. I'll be right here with you, okay?"

Whenever she was ready, Jasper would activate the seeker droid.