Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

Approved Species Magru

Status
Not open for further replies.

HK-36

The Iron Lord Protector (Neutral Good)
are_you_a_bird_by_alpenminuial-d36bdno.jpg
  • Image: Taken from DeviantArt, a piece called "Are You A Bird?" by artist Alpenminuial (Link here)
  • Name: The Magru

  • Designation: Non-Sentient
  • Homeworld: Abregado-Rae
  • Language: Squawks for calling out to other members of their pack, shrieks to alarm other members of the pack of incoming danger, soft clapping of their beak to show comfort, enjoyment, or affection, and screeching roars to show hostility and scare off any intruders or attackers.
  • Average height of adults: 3 meters
  • Skin color: Ranging from pinkish-tan to light grey
  • Hair color: White, black, brown, grey, or brown fathers
  • Breathes: Type 1

  • Strengths: The Magru of the Plains, a rather creepy but thriving species of large plain-striding flightless avian creatures who evolved on Abregado-Rae. The greatest strength of the Magru is the ability to reach great speeds while running, up to 80 km/h (Based on Wikipedia entry about ostriches, their maximum speed is about 70 km/h) or, although rarely, greater in some cases, letting them outrun most of the predators on Abregado-Rae. Unfortunately, that is often not enough to get away from the predators. Leovi, one of the major predators hunting Magru, often catch Magru off guard by attacking them from the air or sneaking up on them from tall grass and pouncing. The Magru have remarkably lean muscles and strong back, traits developed through evolution based around running through plains and steppes of Abregado-Rae, and going hand-in-hand with their main defensive tactic, spearing their opponents with their long beak during a charge.
  • Their beak, as mentioned before, is a long, hard, sharpened tool the Magru wield much like a spear, it is their primary defense, when Magru reach their top speed with a direct hit they can pierce even some of the durasteel armor, in general anything between armor ratings of 1 and 7 although that greatly depends on the type of material the armor is made from and the speed Magru is charging at, from stationary position with a good stab of their beaks they can only pierce light armor, usually between rating of 1 and 4, unless the armor is specifically treated or made from special material, such as alchemical leather. However, it is rare for a Magru to reach that speed when fighting its enemy, the avians would need plenty of head-start to accelerate and that would mean their enemies would have an easier time dodging their attack. A strike from such a speed into their target, especially if the target is wearing armor, also stuns Magru, forcing them to take a couple of minutes to get their bearings straight as the impact disorients them. During this time they are vulnerable to deadly strikes into their fragile sides, something which can mean a sure end to the Magru. The Magru beak is also used by the avians to catch their two most common prey, the Moochers, by shoving the beak into their tunnels, trying to tear them apart in order to catch and pull out the little creatures, and fish found in Abregado's rivers and canals, catching them much like crane do.
  • The secondary defense of Magru are their claws, the Magru are able to use them to deliver strong hind kicks and stomps. Much like their beaks when the Magru are stationary, their claws can pierce light armor between rating of 1 and 4, of course unless it's a special material like alchemical leather. However, the strongest damage dealt by these kicks is the simple blunt trauma delivered from powerful muscles the crane avians usually use for running, they are quick to break somebody's bones or send them on their butts. Also, the Magru conduct these kicks only by raising up on their hind legs and stomping at their targets, or utilizing their hind legs to kick targets behind them, much like the Real-Life horses of Earth, this allows their legs to absorb the impact without much serious damage, although that still depends on the density of their target and the strength with which they would hit it, taking the impact straight on allows them to absorb more damage than they would if they would kick in a more traditional manner, or if their leg was impacted into its side.
  • The Magru's strong backs and muscles allow them to take on a rider, even as tall as a Gados, however one should be careful to not overload a Magru, much like horses the Magru do not have much muscles in their lower limbs, so the deep tissues are not well padded and protected and blood supply is limited, this renders the Magru very vulnerable to injuries and infections of the lower limbs and claws. The Magru ribs have also a low-impact resistance, allowing for attacks to their sides to break them easily, as opposed to the Magru's sturdy spines, beaks, and skulls. The structure of their bodies can be very much so compared to spears or lances, their beaks are very durable and sharp, although they can be cut with a lightsaber, being the spear-head, while their necks and spines have a high impact resistance and shock absorption, functioning as the shaft of the spear. While the Magru ribs can be easily broken, meaning attacks to the Magru's side are very much so effective, their spines and skulls are not so easily shattered, allowing them to charge and impale their enemies, even those in tougher armor, without worrying about dealing too much damage to themselves.
  • Magru have also high reproduction rate, a characteristic of their lifestyle as traveling herd animals, moving through plains of Abregado in large numbers for safety. Their reproduction rate also allows them to deal easier with the predators often taking down some of their herd members, or hunters from settlements targeting them as foodsource, keeping them from the danger of extinction. Their large herds also allow the members to warn each other in case danger draws near, as well as take down larger targets that would threaten them in a huge collective charge.
  • Magru are omnivores, able to digest both meat from Moochers and fish as well as smaller fruits, nuts, berries, insects, and even grass. Thanks to this it is very easy for Magru to find a foodsource during their journeys, letting them travel more freely through Abregado-Rae and only when the seasons begin to change. Although they can digest grass it is often not enough to sustain them and the Magru need to find something else to eat besides it to remain healthy.
  • Magru have an excellent sense of smell and taste, this is due to their habit of feeding on Moochers, little critters often hiding in tunnels, as such the most reliable way to detect them is through smell, tracking their scent to the correct hole so that it may be torn about by Magru beaks and claws and the little tasty sentient extracted.

  • Weaknesses: The biggest Magru weakness is the low impact resistance in their ribs and the little to no presence of muscle tissue in their lower limbs, leaving their deep tissue not very protected, making injuries to them easier. While the Magru can carry a rider as well as take hits straight on, they can be easily defeated by attacks from the side, as their ribs can crack easily due to the low impact resistance. The Magru don't have particularly strong or tough hide, a single well aimed bolt or slug could pierce their skin and break their ribs, often resulting with one well aimed shot piercing their heart and putting them down.
  • Their large numbers and herd nature made them a common target for Gados and Human hunters through Abregado-Rae history, the Magru are often hunted for their meat and their tough beaks. The ivory of their beaks is turned often into spears, for fishing or hunting, or trinkets to be sold to tourists. Their lanky, thin bodies also mean that they do not have that much meat on their bodies, meaning that when Magru are hunted for their meat, they are hunted in larger numbers, this also applies to the wild-life predators that hunt the animals, one Leovi can often bring down maximum of 3 Magru before it's satisfied. Thankfully, their large herds and high reproduction rate make up for that, keeping their numbers stable.
  • Low amount of fat in their bodies means that the Magru do not handle cold climates well, they are susceptible to sudden drops in temperatures such as cryo-based weaponry or changes in climate. As temperature drops the Magru can quickly go into lethargic mood, conserving their energy in exchange for slowing down their movements, making them much more susceptible to hunters or predators. As a result, Magru often migrate, staying for very short periods of time in one place once the temperature begins to lower. This was a problem which was difficult to tackle for the ranchers who decided to domesticate the Magru. Special insulated stables have to be made for Magru as shelter during Winter Season, otherwise they would freeze quickly, which meant an easy loss of lifestock for the ranchers.
  • Due to the herd being at a center of Magru lifestyle, they feel the safest among other members of its species, otherwise the Magru become quickly agitated, nervous of their environment, expecting for a predator to quickly close in on them. Being alone usually means a certain death for Magru, however, this can be avoided if the Magru has been raised in company of Humans and Gados, for it would start to think of them as members of its species, feeling protected, as well as protecting them in turn, when they are about the Magru. However, this prevents for a single Magru to be taken as a mount or companion straight out of its wild herd.
  • While the Magru have a good sense of smell they have only average sense of hearing and they are a far-sighted specie, meaning their eyesight is best at larger distance, however, the closest something, or someone, gets to them, the blurrier they become in Magru's vision. This has developed from Magru having the advantage of spotting their enemies from a larger distance in the plains, making far-sight be much more useful. The drawback of this is that if someone does sneak up on a Magru they can easily ambush them from close-distance and overpower them. This has been used over and over by hunters and Leovi who use the tall grasses to sneak up on herds of Magru and conduct a lethal surprise attack to bring down few Magru at once.

  • Distinctions: Lanky, slender, frail bodies, swift runners, long sharpened beaks
  • Average Lifespan: 40 years
  • Races: Single race
  • Diet: Moochers, insects, seeds and berries, grass, fish.
  • Communication: Mostly verbal, as described in the Languages section, some use of pheromones for marking territory.

  • Culture: Magru are very social and very herd-minded specie, always moving in large groups over vast distances. Being alone, for Magru, usually means certain death, in their lonesome the Magru can get easily agitated, terrified of the environment about them. As such, it is recommended for a Magru to always be kept nearby another Magru as to avoid it becoming overly nervous. Of course, this can be omitted. A Magru raised in captivity among humans or Gados will start thinking about them as part of their herd, therefore their presence would act calming towards the Magru as if they were one of their species. The Magru often show signs of affection to its pack members in form of soft clapping and nuzzling.

  • Technology level: None

  • General behavior: In the wild the Magru are not too overly territorial, when it comes to Gados or humans the herd of Magru would simply become alerted as they closed by, ready to start fleeing at a moment's notice, keeping cautious in case it is the hunters that approach them. Should a human or Gados approach them cautiously, they could potentially come close enough to the herd to have a close look at Magru as well as pet one of them, receiving a response of affectionate beak clapping. However, this take great caution and soft movements as the Magru can be quickly set off into their flight, or even worse, fight tactic. When it comes to other aliens, Magru are much more hostile and nervous, as they have never seen them before, rather than acting on their curiosity the Magru would begin to shriek in the intruder's direction before shortly begin to give out shrieking-roars and charging at the attackers, their beaks pointed at them in order to spear them. The same applies to known Abregado predators such as the Leovi or the Magru's pray like the Moochers.
  • The Magru try to keep to the plains and rivers when it comes to their journeys, the mountains are often homes to large flocks of Leovi, Magru's predators, and forests of Abregado-Rae hide other dangers while on steppes the Magru have an advantage of seeing their enemies from farther away and run away while the rivers provide stable food-source in form of fish as opposed to Moocher tunnels, often unreliable due to the guidance of the Moocher queens and the expense of the tunnels.
  • When nesting or simply idle, the Magru like to sit on their fluffy butts and use their long crane-like necks in order to watch their immediate area, looking out as sentries in case any danger nears.

  • History: Since the beginning of rise of first cultures on Abregado-Rae the Magru were being hunted as source of food and ivory for weapons. One of the earliest weapons made on Abregado-Rae were spears made from the sharp durable beaks of Magru. Magru then were started to become domesticated by the Gados as means of transportation, acting as mounts for the lanky species or beasts of burden, pulling carts, plows, or just carrying goods. That continued for a long period of Abregado history, until invention of engine, the Magru were being kept as mounts for soldiers and civilians aside, many armors were crafted for the animals so that their Gados riders can go into battle on their backs often wielding lances with spear-heads from their beaks.
  • After machines begun to replace the Magru in the role of transport and utility, the Magru started to be kept by Gados mostly for recreational or competitive riding sports as well as simply for their meat.
  • Through history of Abregado-Rae their wild herds have been also observed in order to attempt predicting the change in seasons, arrival of a Magru herd was often celebrated by Gados communities as a symbol of spring arriving when the departure of the avian herds was a sign of the incoming fall and inevitable winter. Departure of Magru was a holiday among Gados in its own right, although much more solemn one, a symbol for passing of seasons and life, it was time in which the Gados have said fare well to their loved ones and spoke of them in fond memory, often lighting beacons on top of mountains or sending out floating lanterns into the sea, believing that the lights would help the souls passing on with Magru herds find their way into afterlife by taking "shortcuts" through the sea or into the heavens through the mountains.
  • It has always been speculated the Magru are closely related to Leovi, as both were clearly avian in appearance, however, in reality the Magru are closer related to the Gados than Leovi, that can be mostly seen through their lanky bodies, although the Magru do not have the same ribbon-like organs and retain much more avian features than Gados.

  • Notable Player-Characters: None currently
  • Intent: To provide additional well-described species to Abregado-Rae, a planet with few species and even fewer actually named or described, leaving it somewhat bland. Also, to provide a curious mount, predator against Moochers, and foodsource for the Leovi.
 
Hey, man. Funny seeing you here. <_<

Anyways, getting through my first in-depth readthrough here - haven't made it all the way to the bottom yet - and something already strikes me, so I'll bring it up just to start us off, here. For a load-bearing animal, I'm not certain terming bones as 'fragile' makes sense. Perhaps you're looking for something along the lines of 'low impact resistance' or somesuch, or at least saying that they are load-bearing up to a certain carrying weight before issues start to set in, and are otherwise susceptible to breaking. Just... blanket 'fragile' is a bit iffy for this application. Actually, here, this might help -

Horses have no muscle in their lower limbs, so the deep tissues are not well padded and protected and blood supply is limited. This also renders them very vulnerable to injuries and infections of the lower limbs and hooves. (from - https://ca.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20111220123615AAhRQRA)
Also,

HK-36 said:
Their lanky, thin bodies also mean that they do not have that much mean on their bodies
Spellcheck isn't really all that useful in cases like this, eh? Not to mention, if I'm being really picky about the structure of the sentence... this reads slightly awkward. ;)
 

HK-36

The Iron Lord Protector (Neutral Good)
[member="Ilias Nytrau"]
Greetings, I will be your factory judge for the evening,

I judge your form of judging to be corrected and efficient so far.

Edits made are shown in green text.
 
Green edits! Good. That makes things so much easier to see. I like that. Now...

...as you know, my fellow judge, any species affecting something as hard as durasteel has not been taken lightly, or at all. But you've got spear beaks, this is good. Spears can pierce things like steel, so you've got a fairly solid fallback for your claim. However, you mentioned in our discussion of something along the lines that this would be a rare occurrence, as the bird would have to be in peak condition, and reach top speed. If you could make that very, abundantly clear, and also bring in (my) concerns over the effect such ramming would have on the rest of the bird behind the beak in the submission, or find a very good explanation for otherwise, then I would find this acceptable.

Go forth and edit, droid-boy. Maybe someday you'll be a real boy!
 
Sorry for the wait, my friend! Blasted invasions are so terribly distracting. I've got another thing here for you to look at.

You say this -


HK-36 said:
The secondary defense of Magru are their front claws, the Magru are able to deliver strong kicks with them and the sharp claws, much like their beaks when the Magru are stationary, can pierce light armor between rating of 1 and 4, of course unless it's a special material like alchemical leather. However, the strongest damage dealt by these kicks is the simple blunt trauma delivered from powerful muscles the crane avians usually use for running, they are quick to break somebody's bones or send them on their butts.

But right in the next bullet point, there is this -


HK-36 said:
...much like horses the Magru do not have much muscles in their lower limbs, so the deep tissues are not well padded and protected and blood supply is limited, this renders the Magru very vulnerable to injuries and infections of the lower limbs and claws.

Does this mean that they are susceptible to injuries from their forelimb kicks, or is the weakness only applicable to the hind limbs or something, or do we have a contradiction, here?
 

HK-36

The Iron Lord Protector (Neutral Good)
[member="Ilias Nytrau"]
Edited, clarified that the Magru kick much like Earth horses, by raising on their hind legs and stomping or by kicking back with their hind legs to absorb the damage of the impact, otherwise strikes into the sides of their legs would easily damage their limbs.
 
Good! Thanks for the clarification. :)


HK-36 said:
Magru have also high reproduction rate, a characteristic of their lifestyle as traveling herd animals, moving through plains of Abregado in large numbers for safety. Their reproduction rate also allows them to deal easier with the predators often taking down some of their herd members, or hunters from settlements targeting them as foodsource, keeping them from the danger of extinction. Their large herds also allow the members to warn each other in case a danger draws near, as well as take down larger targets that would threaten them in a huge collective charge.
This would be 'danger' or 'any danger'.


HK-36 said:
Magru have an excellent sense of smell and taste, this is due to their habit of feeding on Moochers, little critters often hiding in tunnels, as such the most reliable way to detect them is through smell, tracking their scent to correct whole so that it may be torn about by Magru beaks and claws and the little tasty sentient extracted.
A 'the' between 'to' and 'correct' would make a difference, here. Also, 'hole' instead of 'whole'.


HK-36 said:
This was a problem the ranchers who decided to domesticate the Magru had a bit of a problem tackling on.
'This was a problem which was difficult to tackle for the ranchers who decided to domesticate the Magru'. <--- this is cleaner, and less awkward.

That's just a few things that stood out in this re-read. I'd like you to slowly, carefully go over this submission, and find anything else like this, if you can. Otherwise, I don't think I see any other significant or even less significant issues. Could be because there might not be anymore, but I will give it one last good look-over before considering my approval. :)
 
Looking good! I have to say I like this species. They're a wee bit goofy, but they make sense.

Well, and the submission is solid. There are no further issues that my eyes can see, so with that I give my approval.

Pending Secondary Approval!
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Users who are viewing this thread

Top Bottom