It was pretty obvious by now that Relina was tired out to the point of just passing out then and there. He didn't need the Force to see that, pure human sight and instincts could tell you that. "I'm sure it is" He remarked off-handedly in response as the Jedi Master would raise off his seat and get to his feet, brushing off his pantleg before extending a large hand and slipping his fingers between Relina's. Sure, his whole hand could probably engulf hers, but he preferred the more elegant method. He would smile faintly as he gently pulled her up, trying his best not to use too much strength and move her abruptly in a way that could jarr her awake and make useless the attempts she had made in order to allow herself to be able to sleep after the shock of the attempt at her life earlier in the night.
"Looks like you're having a bit of a hard time there" He would remark. He doubted anyone wandering the halls would want to see their Ducha tumbling over in the middle of the hall, even if he did support her. And he doubted she would want them to see it either once she woke up and came to her senses. So the only sensible thing that the young man could think to do was gently move a hand to her leg, and another to her back, and sweep her off her feet, gently picking her up bridal-style and lifting her up properly until he was comfortable and she was in a position that could be considered comfortable.
"Let's get you back, shall we Ducha?" Joshua would remark softly as he would make his way out of the room. She'd shown him her room before, he knew where to go. His own quarters being nearby made it much easier to remember, he would realize, and before long, he would find himself back in the Ducha's bedchambers. Everything seemed to be cleaned up, he noted as he would place the Ducha in her bed and pull the covers up to her chest once he made sure her head was rested onto a pillow. He'd certainly make quite a father one day, he could just hear Aleidis joking about if she were still with him and could see this now. But he was still a young man yet. In his early twenties, the Jedi Master, possibly the youngest Grandmaster in the history of the Republic Jedi Order, still had years ahead of him to learn everything about it, no matter when the chance would come up.
It was funny, really... He had wisdom far beyond his years, and a disposition that came with the more experienced of Masters, when he was still a pup himself. But it was an effect of suddenly finding himself in a position of responsibility. He didn't become the way he was because he wanted to... He became the way he was because he had to. Being thrust into the Jedi's equivalent of the highest ranking monarch or political power was a life changing experience for a man his age, and he was forced to change to fit the role and be capable of fulfilling his obligations to best serve and further develop the Jedi Order that at one point, he once loved more then life itself. Sometimes, when he lay awake at night, the former Grandmaster would look back and ponder what would have been if he hadn't been forced out of position like he had been, not betrayed like he was, and had stayed with the RJO and stayed as Grandmaster... Through thick and thin. Would he have been as happy as he had been before he inevitably left the Order due to it's stabbing him in the back? He knew now that it would have been a tough job, with all that had happened soon after he had left... But part of him just didn't care. He loved it. He loved it, loved it, LOVED IT. It was his LIFE. He had been a member of the Jedi Order since he was five years of age. An orphan, picked up from a smoking wreck, on the cusp, the brink, of death... They had saved him, and they had become his life. He had given his life for them, he had given his loyalty... His hard work, his dedication.. He had shed his blood, sweat and tears, to serve a cause that he felt was just and right. And he couldn't be happier... The days he spent there were long, hard and arduous. But they made him happy. Becoming a Knight, serving on the Council, becoming a Master.... Being able to better serve the Order... It only made him happier and happier. Becoming Grandmaster was like a dream come true, and he had embraced the role like it was a member of his family. He was blessed to have the role, to be able to serve and further the Order to his fullest capability, and it made him the happiest he had ever been in his entire life. He dealt with hardships, with life and death... As the people he loved and cared for passed on into the Force, and he was forced to see them die one by one... But he was able to keep going, because he knew he was bettering and furthering something that could keep this galaxy in peace.
But what had changed him the most was that final betrayal. When a group who's views of how the Order should run differed from his own... Outnumbered, he had been pushed out of his position, backstabbed, betrayed... And his position was soon snatched up by people he thought he could trust, and the protestors suddenly stopped. Vows were broken, he had realized he had been deceived... He was heartbroken. Crestfallen, his entire life had fallen apart around him. His one source of true happiness had been taken from him out of pure selfishness. Why? Why had they done that? It was simple, really... They didn't care for the dreams, the happiness of others... Only their own agendas. This aggressive, power-hungry nature that spread throughout the Order made it harder and harder for him to stomach being there anymore. He tried, so hard... Oh so hard... To keep serving. But his faith in what he had once considered a just cause had been broken. It sickened him.
He had to leave.
And when he did, it opened his eyes, truly opened his eyes, to the galaxy around him. He'd lived his life on blind loyalty from day one, until the day he left. And just like that.. The galaxy opened itself up to him.
But it was a lonely path... And it still was. Because while he was free... He was free, alone. None stood with him. He stood alone, and while it hurt, he soon came to accept it.
That was just the cruelty of this galaxy.
He had changed so much... And suffered so much since the last time he and Relina had crossed paths. He would never be able to convey to her, nor anyone else, how he truly felt about everything... It just hurt too much.
Since then, he had not found a cause that fit his views. His views of the Jedi Order he once knew. While he had left this new version of the Order, his loyalty to the ways he was raised on had never left....
Just hungered to come home.
Sometimes he wished this hadn't happened... He wished he was still happily blind, with the Order... But deep down, he knew that the Force had a funny way of working.
His destiny, his reason for existing, the reason for his pain and suffering.. He knew that it would come someday. Perhaps it already had. He'd used his time to rid the galaxy of slavery, bit by bit, piece by piece... One slave camp at a time. He didn't do it for money, he had his ways to make credits, but he only did so he could survive.
Perhaps this... Was the destiny he'd had all along.
But no matter how much he changed, he was still Joshua to Relina. He would smile as he would finish tucking her in properly. "Is there anything else I can do, Ducha? Glass of water? Kiss goodnight?" He half-joked with a light chuckle, a light pinch of sarcasm in his voice as always.
The more things changed, he supposed... The more things stayed the same.
[member="Relina Zhan"]
