Private Loss of someone close

[Alexandra Feanor]

Corek-Feanor Home

Alexandra's Garden
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Alexandra sat, silent as she had been since returning to her home. The battle on Coruscant already filed within her mind as something she would talk about or think over a different time. Her duties having been placed on hold, and her with nothing more to say to those that she worked beside. If the Jedi required her, they could reach out to her but she sought no wish to be by their sides. Instead she sat under the branches of the tree she so treasured, the familiar and comforting feeling of her being being whole and the Light Side of the force flowing down into and through her body.

She so desperately wished that someone was by her side though, that someone was there with her in that Garden. Her eyes red and her body still from the sorrow that she had experienced on knowing of their death. The details she refused to hear, not wishing to know anything more than she had to and instead she remained quiet and without so much as a word after arriving. Only her children would get her to smile, or to have her help them with something but even then it had been limited and they were well old enough to care for themselves at the moment.

For now, she sat, her weapons not far from her as usual, but left in a haphazard manner compared to normal. Daeda, the Ashlan Wolf she had been bonded to sitting infront of her, keeping an eye out for anyone coming nearby while Alexandra's own senses felt dull. She felt hollow, her eyes kept closed for the last few hours, almost as if resting but the stillness of her form looked to be dead in itself.

It was a moment like this that she wished she could look into the Otherside, to search the Netherworld for Yasha. But she knew she could not do that, her form already felt as if it was pulled to that place and she would be unable to touch it and return whole if she tried.

 

[Noah Corek]

Alexandra Feanor - Adara Raxis

Noah sighed as he sat on one of the benches scattered around the garden, not too far from where Alex had seated herself under the tree. He hadn’t even tried to get her to speak to him, after over two decades of marriage he was aware of the signs she exhibited when she did not want any company, no matter how much his heart told him to go to her.

Reaching next to him on the bench he picked up a small tumbler and brought it to his lips, taking a deep sip of the whiskey in the glass before setting it down, the ring on the wood of the bench a testament to the length of time he had been sitting there. He sighed again, leaning against the wall to his back and staring upwards through the glass ceiling and off into space.

Noah of course had been the one to break the news of Yasha’s death to Alex, as much as he himself wanted to simply crawl into a hole there were things that needed to be done. He’d dealt with these things, getting forms and such together, sending messages to their children to return home as soon as possible, the ones that weren’t already there.

He heard the scrape of tentative footsteps to his right and turned his head towards the sound and gave a small, sad smile when he observed their youngest daughter Cahira stepping into the garden from the main house, eyes cast towards her mother. When she turned towards her father he almost choked up then and there, her face so familiar to him and yet different.

Scooting over he didn’t say a word and simply patted the spot on the bench next to him. The seventeen year old reached up, swiping a tear from her eye and slid in next to him, cuddling to his side as he wrapped an arm around her and laid his head atop hers, no words spoken but taking in the comfort of each other.

 

[Adara Raxis]

“They left… Magnus… to bury her?” Adara’s eyebrow raised, silken hair as frozen a river down her elegant chersilk clad spine, as the chill in her voice.

“Ambrose helped.” Girak-Kaine slumped in the holo.

Hyperspace rushed past the viewport of Adara’s yacht, her brother for once, as small as he thought of himself in Darth Carnifex’s grand scheme.

“Well?” Girak leaned his head back, dark eyes woeful.

“Your failure at protecting Mother is what it is. Thank the Dark you prevented your Father from turning Buir into ash, or we’d have worse problems.”

“What do we do now, si-”

“Ah-ah!” Adara jerked her head to the side, “Discipline or death.”

“... Cousin.” Girak growled the word, near spitting it across the distance between the Malsheem and the Yacht.

“Oh Gigi, we resurrected a cleansed soul. An act that powerful… requires a sacrifice. If my erasure gives Gunnr Zambrano the best possible life, I will do it seven times over. Isn’t that what love is?”

“Why are you asking as if you don’t know?”

“Once in a while I might require a reminder.”

“I could come, you know. Say the word. Grieving widows may not be lenient.”

“Out of all of us, Mum might understand the best, but also need us the most.” The autopilot shifted in direction. Diplomatic codes flowed through the communications systems, until Adara’s yacht descended to one of the landing pads at the Corek-Feanor estate. “No. Do your job and do it wisely. I am well equipped to handle this alone… even if her tree does lash at my ankles.”

“That’s what’s wrong, Adarables. You alone.”

"Take care of Magnus, he's always taken the brunt of everything for you, it's time to be his shield. This is affecting him more than you think. And don't let Taiya decraniate any of my servants. Not one... except maybe Lisle... I've always hated that one."

The shadow of the yacht was a comforting veil, as Adara slipped one suede glove, then the other, up her forearms. Deceptive in grandeur, her dress was easier to move in than most would expect, her lightsaber sheathed in a wide, hidden pocket. Several of her Anubian bodyguards flanked and fanned out the closer Adara got to the Tree.

It was always the Tree, there was nowhere else Alex would be.

Weaving a protective sheath around herself, Adara let her inner sight guide each foot-fall, as her eyes failed her in so much light.

Would she get Alex’s blade? Would the Tree accept her presence?

Was there enough Light left in Alexandra Feanor to accept the wayward prodigal, who struck their expanded family the deepest and most infected blow?

But there she was, a stillness born of a numb, grief-struck mind.

Adara stopped. Took another deep breath as if expunging a bad odour.

The Tree always did make her itch… even that was an act of love.

It should have killed her.

Maybe they had a right to, after all was said and done.

Daeda sitting in front of her was expected and comforting. At least she could see the fuzzball before whatever unpleasantness was to happen next. Not that instant expiration was in the cards, if Cahira stayed propped up on the bench with Buir. Adara had that going for her at least.

Cahira's voice caught. "Adara? What the heck! What the actual heckin'..."

Even if it was grief, which led it. Wary of Daeda’s jaws, Adara knelt with both knees under her body in front of Daeda, skirts weighted to the grass. Hands on perched on her knees, Adara sat and let her presence trigger whatever response Alex would have.

“Buir. Mother... Cahira you look... healthy, at least.”

Alexandra Feanor Noah Corek

 

[Alexandra Feanor]

Alexandra had sensed the arrival of each being in turn, had full knowledge of how far they were, what they might be feeling. While she could not hear the words between Noah and Cahira, had there been any at all, she knew there were there. It did not change her stillness, did not change the quiet state Alexandra had been in as she thought over all of the past. As she thought on those first days she had met the woman, as she thought of tending to Yasha and of the years that the two would be beside eachother in this garden.

After all, Alexandra had to remain here for her own well being, atleast for extended periods. And Yasha had essentially been left to find this place as the only one where she was protected and safe at a certain point.

She would even now feel her thumb twitch at she sat there and thought over all the different things the two had grown and seen. Was it truly necessary for things to have ended the way that they had?

These thoughts did not remain though when a new presence had reached her. When her eyes had finally opened to look at the form of Adara infront of her, Daeda welcoming her without hesitation and moving forward to press against the girl. He was still the same small, soft, creature that would welcome her as well. Its inquisitive eyes looking back at Alexandra instead of showing any aggression towards Adara.

Still with her own eyes resting on Adara, looking past her for a moment at Noah and Cahira, she would shift. Adara would see her moving closer, leaning forward and her hands coming out. Would Alexandra strike Adara, seek to choke her, blast her with the energy that swirled around her and in this place of sanctuary?

No. Never.

Adara would know long before it came, as the warmth of the nexus flowed out, restricting what damage it could all while welcoming Adara in. The softness of a mother's touch, the other half of Alexandra in unison with her body as she reached out and pulled Adara into a hug. Fresh tears falling from her eyes and a silent grief as deep as Alexandra's very core.

Yet, in opposition to that, she simple held the girl she saw as her daughter. The girl she loved all the same as any of her other children and would never bring herself to harm, atleast, not outside of the sessions they had in the past for the purposes of training. No she could never seek the death or harm of her children.

Noah Corek Adara Raxis

 

[Noah Corek]

Alexandra Feanor - Adara Raxis

He had known of Adara’s arrival before her ship had even set down on the edge of the estate; he tracked each and every one of his kids like they were precious things to be protected, which in his mind they were. Was this slightly paranoid and overprotective? Of course it was but he was also a man who had spent over two decades in covert ops and two decades in the arms and security industry so this was normal.

He watched as Adara approached, reaching a hand to gently pat his other daughter on the back as a way of quieting her down before speaking. “Hush Cahira, let your sister say her piece, she is entitled to that.”

Despite how he acted on the battlefield, loud and in charge, in his home he was of a different sort. Calm, cool and collected he always let Alex lead in these situations, her age and experience more developed than his own.

He let out a snort and shook his head, gently disentwining himself from Cahira before standing and making his way towards Alex and Adara. “Healthy is one way to describe it I guess.” He knew what Alex’s response was going to be before even she did, over twenty years of marriage gave great insight into one another, and so when she wrapped Adara into a hug he kneeled and did the same, wrapping the two women in his arms.

 

[Adara Raxis]

Adara’s hand petted and fondled Daeda’s head, nudging the soft fur. While she couldn’t fathom the Light, Adara felt it opening and gave into the safety of it. That whatever Alex did, she was right to.

And so it was, when Alexandra’s arms folded around Adara, the Darkling was struck with the one truth she’d hidden deepest of all:

To Alex and Noah, Yasha hadn’t been dead.

There she was, the pitch dark daughter, who followed the orders and rituals of a mystic tradition so dark only the Zambrano Diyad knew the scraping bottom of it. An eldritch and gaping wound in the rhythm of the Galaxy, painted and paved over with a daughter’s pain. And the part of her she scored out and burned to see it done was worth the cavernous absence it ate to reconstruct the soul-memories of a woman, whose new existence was without flaw or pain.

Nullifying Yasha Cadera’s maternal bond to her eldest child was worth the removal of Adara’s resentment. No matter how good a daughter she was, her mother would always choose Mandalore and her spouses, before the dark-fed mirror she feared.

Adara betrayed Alex and Noah’s love the moment she stole her twin brothers and dove into the rituals for Gunnr’s creation with an adolescent, misguided, abandon. She asked too much of them all, because she gave too much of herself in the betrayal.

This selfish daughter was for burning.

To Noah and Alex, Yasha survived. The endless months of physical rehabilitation undergone with triple for the mental regressions in the Hell Child were worth it to have their spouse as whole as she could be. The spouse, who used to curl up at the base of Alex’s tree for naps when the family grew too hectic and too loud.

As if the Lightest Nexus it could find was the only protection against its eventual doom at the hands of its maker.

Not it. Her.

Over a decade past, such a scar barely pulsed anymore. She’d buried it deeper than the sword through Yasha’s spine.

It was her Buir’s arms around them both that broke the banks of Adara’s resolve to quash emotions with the rest of her weaknesses. One gasp, and Adara started to sob without sound, just the constrictions of her chest and shake of Epicanthix shoulders.

“If you loved her… don’t reverse this gift. Let Yasha be dead. Let her be dead, so Gunnr can have peace.” Adara sniffed, rubbing at an eye, “Maybe dark acts can bring consolation. Can we not love? Drenched in the Dark, of course he had his other reasons, but… Carnifex did right by her, in the end. I… I’m sorry it hurt us all to do it. I’m not going to say it was the only way, it wasn’t. I thought… I could get my father to notice me, to remember… but obsolescence is another sacrifice for the Dark’s power, and I asked… too much… as it was.

She can’t remember. Hate me, slay me, give me cuddles and send me to bed with a happy dinner, I won’t allow it. She cannot ever be made to remember… there are worse stakes than death and that is the only unbreakable rule. Braxus did his job well and I would not test him. Ever. This isn't a challenge, it's an unbreakable wall. Gunnr must be protected from the past at all costs. But... I left a passage for you and her to make new memories, with emotions, her real ones, remaining. The love exists, just... transformed.”

Alexandra Feanor Noah Corek

 

[Alexandra Feanor]

Alexandra remained still, still saying nothing to her dear daughter or as Noah moved closer to the two of them. Instead her hand rose and rested on the back of Adara's head, giving her warmth and support as she held her. There was no effort to do anything beyond that, no thought to break this momentary silence and instead she would just smile as she held her daughter.

While Adara had done so much to distance themselves, Alexandra saw only the truth of the matter in her dear's core. Even if she was a child of the dark corners of the galaxy now, even if her dna had been altered to make her the child of a man who had no right to have been considered such. Alexandra saw those moments of softness, of how Adara treated Cahira and Morgan and the others. She knew that Adara would defend them, protect them, and she knew there was no second thought as to what Adara would do for those that were her family.

Perhaps one day, there would be an argument that turned a bit more violent than just words between her children. Perhaps Morgan would rage against the idea the Light could not solve things. Or Junior would give Adara a punch for what had been done. Or more likely Cahira and Alexander considering they truly were the children of Yasha like Adara and the two boys were.

Alexandra was never one to dictate and order her children down a certain path after all, and she would be the greatest of hypocrites to state they should not act on their emotions.

But Cahira would be shown a better option, one Alexandra did not hesitate in her choice. One where her hand ran through Adara's hair and welcomed Noah's own arms soon after.

And as she knelt there, with Noah and Adara, her lips would move. A soft voice leaving them, barely a whisper and the only response to the panicked words that had come from Adara. It was a voice that wrapped around Adara, a soothing sound that banished away her worries and concern, clearing them from her and taking that weight from her shoulders. She would find Alexandra's own eyes, still dull and full of sorrow, yet at the same time focused on her dear daughter as she smile to her.

"My beautiful dear, I could never hate you, and I will never let harm come to you. You are as precious to me as any. What you did, you believed was best and right, and I cannot tell you that you were wrong without condemning my own actions in keeping her in the state she was. You should be the first to know I could feel it, I always knew... but I protected her just as you did in my own way. Here in this place where you are welcome just as she was." Her smile remained as she lightly kissed the top of Adara's head.

Alexandra had always known that Yasha's body was just a husk. That it was the Biot who was puppeting the body and that things were wrong. She should have been the first to turn the body away, to deny it and to simply cast it into the shadows but she couldn't. Her very being existed only thanks to the ties and the love she shared with those who she has created such bonds with. If she abandoned even one of them, then her very soul would likely become unstable and fall back into the Netherworld.

So she couldn't, it was antithetical to her as the very thought of killing her own children out of malice. Denying even the smallest part of those she loved was a greater evil to her than the cruelest act or the greatest crime on life itself.

Noah Corek Adara Raxis