Let's talk about me

[Nate Phantoms]

Well, It's been nearly a year since my last feed back post, and I got some good things then, and some bad things too. I'm just here to see what you all think; am I doing a better job, or do I still have a ways to go? Personally, I feel as if my writing skills have improved quite drastically, but that's up to you guys to voice upon.

Just like last time, anything is welcome, praise or blander.

However, I would like to know;
Should this be a yearly thing?

Your old pal,​

Nate​

 

[Ashin Varanin]

I dig Nate. I think he's an enjoyable and complex character, and you've really grown as a writer in the past year.

Might just be personal taste, but I always think you should change the name to "Nate _______" or just Nate.

 

[Ara Zambrano]

[member="Nate the Bounty Hunter"]

Well, you are really fun to wake up next to

But seriously, I enjoy writing with you and look forward to getting to know Nate better. Anyone who can give Ara a dose of her own medicine is good in my book.

 

[Nate Phantoms]

[member="Carradine Dukal"]
But then I wouldn't be the original, but I'm also contemplating it.

[member="Ara Ren"]
Yeah, how'd that go for you? On a more serious note, I learned from the best, and sure do hope you don't find yourself at the edge of my sabers.

 

[RC 212]

[member="Nate the Bounty Hunter"]

Nate I poked around your last three threads and then a few in the middle. Nice work dude

The Good,

You give a nice description of the scene. I like that I can feel as if I am with Nate when I am reading. I can see through his eyes. Also your formatting has improved a lot. You space things out so they feel natural to the eye. As I always say, nobody likes reading a wall of text. I also like that you put out what Nate is thinking.

Constructive Feedback,

Get rid of all words that end in ly. It is lazy writing. I am guilty of it too. Insert more power words. Instead of he punched, say he smashed etc. Power words make it flow well. I would like to see much more description in each scene. Give me some body language. I can tell a lot just by how your character is standing, moving, where there hands are and etc.

(I was reading that duel between you and Abyss and loved it. Why'd it go away?)

My challenge

• Body language in every post
• No ly endings
• Power words
• Break text from the dialogue
• Engage at least three senses in every post.

I also agree, shortening your name would make it easier for folks to tag you manually.