Faction Lesson in Form Zero Continued

[Oryn Selvar]

This thread is a follow-up to the thread The Form Before All Others [Jedi - Philosophy Class]
Location: The Restored Jedi Temple of Dantooine
Tag: Braze​

Oryn lingered as the rest of the class trickled out.

The work on Force Stasis had been intense, frustrating, but towards the end he felt close to cracking the code, at least conceptually. It only remained to be seen if he could do it in a high stakes situation. Then again, that was the big question, wasn't it… And as for the topic of Jedi philosophy which the lesson had started with, he did not feel like he had cracked any code whatsoever.

Something about Braze made him comfortable enough to stay behind. Still, he didn't know how to broach the subject. He didn't even know what to say.

"Jedi should preserve lives no matter what." That means to avoid killing, even the bad guy. "If you can neutralize your opponent, you should, obviously. But maybe you won't succeed. Killing can be easier, faster. But what if they can be saved? What if you take the hard path, avoid killing, but you fail, and someone dies?" He felt like his words came out incoherently, but things weren't any clearer in his head either. He knew he was rehashing some of what they had been discussing previously, but he was working himself up to open up. Revealing just how weak and flawed he was was hard…

"In the heat of it all, how can you tell what exactly is minimum necessary force?" And how do you live with the concequences. "And how do you stay focused? How do you block out all else?"

"I feel like I sense what is right, in the ethical dilemmas you put to us earlier. The questions were tricky, but the answers seemed clear. I can say what I would do now, here, but out there? I don't know. It's just different. It's so overwhelming." What kind of Jedi can't handle conflict? What kind of Jedi freezes up when it matters? "Was it ever like that for you?" Stupid question, of course not.

 

[Ilaria Morvayne]

TAG: Oryn Selvar

---

Making one's own way into another Jedi Order was difficult.

The fall of the Galactic Alliance had made things even more so. Having to find a new home, knowing that her enclave may as well lie in ruins, that everything she had ruminated upon had come to pass—it would have shaken most young Padawans, broken their spirits, and fed them to the gaping maw of the Dark Side.

Discipline, however, was Ilaria's strength.

It would still take time to acclimatize to the new people and the new ways of those around her, to understand where this Order differed from her last, where the Light became darker—or perhaps even brighter. She thought that maybe the galaxy had finally found a place where the Light Side of the Force could be entrusted to those who would use it not only wisely, but efficiently.

Turning the corner, she found that a lesson had just come to a close. The face was familiar; its teacher was someone with whom Ilaria had, in the past, shared disagreements, though there had always been respect between them. Any Jedi who had managed to survive and keep their spirit intact was, regardless of doctrine, worthy of admiration for that fact alone. Braze was no exception.

The conversation itself, however, was remarkably interesting. A student seemed to be ruminating on difficult questions—where the definitive line for the use of force truly lay, how one should act, killing and mercy, and when a Jedi should adhere to their principles no matter the cost.

It was a difficult conversation to listen to. Something deep within Ilaria twisted her stomach, as though some old ideal of hers had suddenly awakened. Was it wise to discuss the failings of her previous Order so soon? Would it reveal too much about the Jedi—or about the struggles she herself still faced in coming to terms with how the Jedi applied their strength?

The thought cut too deeply to leave unanswered.

She opened her mouth, calm and measured.

"I cannot speak for your tutor, but this question is one of the most difficult for us to follow. Emotions regularly cloud judgement; the angered are rarely ready to stay their hand, and the wounded seldom willing to surrender vengeance. I know little as a Padawan, but there is a story from my old Order that may offer an answer to the question you seek."

​

 

[Braze]

Tags: Oryn Selvar Ilaria Morvayne ​

Braze didn't mind who came or went here. He was willing to let almost any Jedi come and use this place openly, allowing them to take part in a prominent site tied to Jedi history and legacy. He had offered Ilaria Morvayne a bow of his head in greeting to her.

"Welcome. " He greeted her verbally, before looking to Oryn Selvar and listening intentlyto all he had to say...

"Was it ever like that for you?"

Braze was quiet as he cleaned the room, taking care to make sure it remained tidy.

"Yes… I confess, when I was younger, it was far more difficult. My thoughts and imagination ran wild, and I often found myself focusing on negatives that spiraled out of control, fed by my own anxieties… The truth is… I don't think there will ever be a foolproof way of knowing exactly what to do in every situation, one hundred percent. But knowing you've done your best to train yourself on how to approach certain matters, and how to deal with them to the best of your abilities… should be enough...

I know many of us may feel it just isn't… but I think we need to be more merciful and understanding to ourselves, and to those who are thrust into positions where they must make such incredibly difficult choices. Even when discussing theory, I think it's hard for people to talk about imagined scenarios. We like to imagine what we would do, or what we should do… or think maybe we can find the perfect, clean answer to every problem. That's part of why my lessons seem to be so frustrating; they are designed to push into uncomfortable territory… to help exercise our brains, to make us think about what might otherwise seem like impossible scenarios. We grow from such hardship and experience. If we are never put in these difficult situations, even theoretically, through imaginative exercises, we may never stop to think about how they should be approached.

It's one of the hardest things to pin down… and those of us who do end up making legitimate mistakes may never forgive ourselves. We may be crushed by regret. My goal… is to teach you all how to think more critically about these things, to try to find creative solutions, and to come to terms with the idea that we may never be perfect. There will be times when someone makes a grave mistake… and I want to help you all develop the skills necessary to avoid those kinds of mistakes as much as possible," he stated gently.

Braze was selfaware he had a tendency to ramble. He could speak at length about his thoughts, unspooling one concern into another until the whole room seemed to fill with them, so he reined himself back in before continuing further down that line of thought.

"For me… I don't draw my saber to fight unless I am ready to take someone's life. Even then… I've made my mistakes. I took Ko Vuto 's arm out of fear, and out of a lack of better training to deal with a situation where I had to make a decision and had no time to think. In hindsight, I made the wrong choice, and I can see it far more clearly now than I ever could then. If I had thought to use stasis instead of my blade, he would still have his arm… even though I acted out of a desire to save another's life.

He, too… in a similar respect, perhaps didn't do what he should have done, all things considered. It's easy to be blind to the future when the moment presses upon you. I still feel bad about it… immensely so… and I regret my actions. But I want to make sure I can do my best to help others avoid a similar experience. I offer my teachings in hopes that those who come after me will be better than I ever was…

One of the ways… I… deal with the consequences… is by teaching what I was missing. I can't give Ko his arm back… but I can give the younger Jedi the lessons I wish I'd had."

He looked to Ilaria Morvayne curiously. " I would like to hear what you have to say. "

 

[Oryn Selvar]

Braze | Ilaria Morvayne​

It was comforting to hear that Oryn wasn't the only one whose negative thought patterns ran wild. The moment he thought it, he felt a flicker of embarrassment. Of course he wasn't the only one. How arrogant to assume his situation was unique… He wondered how many people who felt like this never overcame their struggles. Which side of the statistic would he end up on?

Oryn turned to Ilaria with a smile and a nod of greeting. "I'll welcome any advice I can get," he said, in response to her offer to share her story.

The answer was out there, within reach, yet it still felt as if he were adrift at sea, with no target in sight. "The difference between training and the real thing is just… so big." He had always done well in training, so it had come as quite a shock when he faltered in action.

But Braze was right. The only way to grow was to put himself into hard situations. To make training mirror the real thing as much as possible. "But maybe that just means I need to change the way I train." He'd trained well, but he'd followed every technique and drill by the book. Perhaps he needed to make it more… uncomfortable.

The way Braze spoke about not drawing his weapon unless he was ready to take a life resonated with him. Even if it wasn't the goal, he had to accept it as a possible outcome and come to terms with it. In that moment, Oryn knew he wanted to be the same.

"I hear others say they leave it up to the Force. As if it decides for them. To me it feels like the choices are always my own. But maybe I'm just not listening well enough," he laughed without mirth.

"That's a nice way of looking at it. To become a teacher." Oryn hadn't thought of himself as a teacher. He was too young, and ever the student. But… he liked the idea. "That way even failure can lead to something good. Even if it doesn't take away the bad, you can make those around you better," and move forward, learn, and grow.

Since this was a philosophy class, he thought he'd throw one more question out there.

"How do you decide what the right thing to do is? Do you weigh the outcome and choose whatever saves the most people? Do you hold to certain lines no matter the cost, by whether it breaks a principle you refuse to abandon? Or do you just try to become the kind of person who would make the right choice when the moment comes?"

 

[Ilaria Morvayne]

TAG: Oryn Selvar Braze

---

Ilaria patiently listened to the conversation at hand. Braze was correct; at times, the wrong decision may be made, but if the Jedi could—

No. There was no excuse.

Even so, Ilaria agreed with him, though a bitter, pulsing feeling twisted in her stomach as she did. The Jedi were, after all, merely sentient beings. They were prone to limited information, flawed judgement, and terrible mistakes. Yet there was something still left unsaid: actions, especially those committed by Jedi, had consequences. Those consequences did not simply vanish because intentions had once been noble.

That lesson, at least, would be served by Ilaria's tale.

She assumed Braze knew of it already. It had happened during his time, before Ilaria had ever joined the New Jedi Order. A story of the Jedi doing the wrong thing—something inexcusable—a warning to the young Padawan before them of what happened when Jedi failed to uphold the Light, even in the moments that demanded it most.

But was such a story appropriate now?

Ilaria began regardless, her words measured and disciplined, cold with restraint.

"It would be remiss of me not to mention another factor in making difficult choices: those around you. The influence of others shapes the decisions you make, even in your most desperate moments. It is inherently wise to surround yourself with intelligent and good-natured people, because when you stand in darkness, they may help you see the light that has become clouded."

She walked slowly toward the far end of the room, turning to face the wall as her mind sifted through countless variations of the same story.

"Great men have fallen to darkness in attempts to save those they loved most. Others have fallen because they placed no value upon sapient life at all. As Jedi, we are meant to protect and preserve, but above all else, we are agents of reason. We are servants of a cosmic Force that most beings in this galaxy will never truly understand. That Force may be unknowable, but the Light from which we draw our strength is fundamentally good."

Her voice remained level, though quieter now.

"It may sound strange for someone my age to say such things, but... trust in the Force."

She closed her eyes. The story weighed heavily upon her soul, a silent judgement against the Order she had once admired so deeply.

"Padawan Calis was before my time. She was said to be extraordinarily gifted in the Force, but she trusted no one and held little faith in the wisdoms the Jedi tried to teach her. One day, she was discovered within a forbidden section of the Coruscant Archives. According to rumour, a Jedi strike team—including the Grand Master herself—found her there and engaged her immediately, without fully understanding what was happening."

A faint tension crossed her jaw.

"The young Padawan drew upon the Dark Side to defend herself, but she was no match for the skill of the strike team. She was only a girl at the time. From what I could gather, they attempted to kill her there."

Everything Ilaria had once believed about the Jedi had been shaken by that story. If even a Grand Master could commit such grievous failures, then what hope truly remained for the Order?

"She is now a rogue Sith Lord responsible for the deaths of millions."

Ilaria turned back toward the pair, her expression as stoic as ever, betraying none of the turmoil beneath it.

"Everyone makes mistakes, my friend. What matters is that we strive to avoid the ones that cannot be undone. So do not hate yourself if you fail... but never forget the consequences that failure may carry."

​

 

[Braze]

Tags: Oryn Selvar Ilaria Morvayne ​

Braze was quiet as he listened, perhaps expecting to hear a tale from some older wound in Jedi history: the Padawan Massacre of Taris, or Luke Skywalker’s failure in Ben Solo’s hut, or even the betrayal of Pong Krell, each of those stories involving some form of visions, fear, and the terrible cost of mistaking a possible future for certainty.

However he recognized a different story, "You mean the failed padawan Serina Calis." something in him went very still at the name. His fingers settled against the edge of his sleeve, smoothing a crease that was no longer there. " I remember her. " He paused for a moment recalling their encounter. The memory flooded back to him as red sand beneath his boots, old stone beneath his hand, and the cold depths of a Sith tomb waiting open in the dark. His gaze seemed to settle somewhere far beyond the room,...

"Korriban did not call to an innocent heart by accident. She may have worn Jedi robes there, but she had gone looking for Sith places, Sith relics, and Sith answers... The Restricted Archives weren't the first shadow she decidedly stepped into."

He drew in a slow breath, "That's not to say no one failed her.... It doesn't even mean every hand raised against her was clean... But the story did not begin with frightened Masters seeing darkness in a Padawan and deciding she had to die... There were forged clearances, alarms, and restricted files accessed with out permission. People trying to stop a breach before it became something far worse. And even then, from what I know, she was offered a way out.... More than once."

His mouth tightened faintly, putting some manner of effort of keeping judgment from coloring his expression.

"Maybe those chances came too late. But Ilaria is right , choices still matter." A pause settled there,

"A story can be true and still leave out the parts that change its meaning. Serina Calis may have been failed, but she was not only acted upon... She reached for what she shouldn't have, and she hid her actions. She crossed several lines before anyone cornered her in the Archives. Perhaps having a friend or two might have helped her more... If you see someone and they seem lonely it might be good to try and reach out to them... "

Braze shook his head, dispelling the darker thought before it could settle too deeply.

"Fear can make Jedi cruel… I know that sentiment all too well," he said softly. "And visions can turn mercy into suspicion. But darkness does not become innocent simply because someone else mishandled it."

His gaze shifted to Oryn Selvar , "But perhaps I can offer you a different solution, and simplify the matter of drawing a blade, at least."

Braze reached down and pulled his ornate saber hilt from its ventral mount, the polished metal settling neatly into his palm.

He lifted the hilt into the air with a small motion of his hand. It hung there, suspended before him, before the outer casing began to separate piece by piece. Hidden internal mechanisms, locked in ways no ordinary tool could reach, yielded only to careful telekinesis. Slowly, the saber came apart, its inner chambers exposed as several crystals revealed themselves within.

Braze chose only one...

His fingers rose to pluck a blue crystal from the air, gentle as if taking a fragile bead from a strand. With the same careful precision, he guided the saber back together, each piece returning to its proper place until the hilt was whole once more.

He clipped it back to the mount across his belly, then held the Entropite crystal out toward Oryn.

"Not all sabers need to cut and cauterize," he said softly. "This crystal can render a blade harmless. It will not burn flesh, or sever limbs. Instead, it saps energy from droids and living beings alike; harmless, cool to the touch, and capable of inducing lethargy rather than injury."

His palm remained open, the crystal resting there like a small blue star.

"It is one pacifist way of dealing with those who choose violence. We do not need our sabers to kill in order to stop someone from harming themselves or others...."

Braze offered it forward gently as if insisting he take it.

"Take this as my gift to you, young Padawan."

His free hand moved to his back, fingers closing around the smaller hilt secured there. He drew Sentry up next.

The second saber rose into the air beside him and began to open in the same careful manner, its casing parting beneath the gentle pressure of telekinesis. Piece by piece, the smaller design revealed its hidden interior, the delicate machinery suspended in patient orbit around its core.

Braze selected another blue crystal from within, plucking it gently from the exposed chamber before guiding Sentry back together with practiced care. The pieces settled into place, seamless and whole once more.

He returned the smaller hilt to its place at his back, then turned toward Ilaria Morvayne offering the second Entropite crystal to her.

"And one for you as well," he said, his voice even, almost gentle. "If the lesson is restraint, then let this tool help serve that lesson."

 

[Oryn Selvar]

Braze | Ilaria Morvayne
​

Oryn hadn't heard of this Serina Calis. There seemed to be differing perceptions, or perhaps the story had taken on wings and changed in subtle ways over the years. Either way, he didn't have much to weigh in with, and could only nod here and there as appropriate.

A cautionary tale to be sure. Who knew what darkness hid amongst them. He would keep his eyes open, and try to support those who were alone. "I'll do what I can." At the very least try to take the advice of surrounding himself with good people to heart. He didn't have to go at this alone.

All thoughts on philsophical discourse went out the window as Braze floated the saber up. He watched on, mesmerized.

Oryn had never heard of a blade that could do the things Braze explained. It sounded… Perfect. Just the thing for him. And… It was his? "I can't accept this. This is too much!" He was truly stunned. This was the last thing he had expected, and he was at a loss for words.

"I didn't even know something like this existed, was possible. The pacifist's way…" he repeated thoughtfully as he tried to gather himself. That sounded like just the thing for him. "Thank you, Braze. I.. This is.. Thank you"

He felt simultaneously unworthy and unable to appropriately convey what this meant for him. To the best of his ability, when words failed him, his emotions gently hummed through the Force.

 

[Ilaria Morvayne]

TAG: Oryn Selvar Braze

---

Ilaria had only ever heard the tale of the fallen Padawan through retellings and rumour. Serina Calis herself was of little interest to her; rather, the story served as a reminder that no matter how deeply one grew within the Force, they remained responsible for the decisions they made regarding the lives of others.

But the words Braze had spoken lingered.

"Perhaps having a friend or two might have helped her more..."

For the briefest moment, Ilaria became still.

She did not really have friends.

Within her enclave, she had been taught never to burden herself with distractions such as friendship or camaraderie. Attachment led to weakness. Dependence clouded judgement. She had never truly considered checking in on others, nor the possibility that someone might ever do the same for her.

Perhaps they had been wrong. Perhaps she had been wrong.

"I... never really considered that. How important it is for someone to simply reach out to you."

The composure she had maintained for so long seemed, if only slightly, heavier now. Of course she had considered it before. Of course she had known. If someone had simply been there for her after... perhaps things would have been different.

Perhaps she would have been different.

"I cried after Woostri. If someone had been there for me..."

Her mind drifted, briefly, to the blind Jedi.

Then she spoke again, quieter this time.

"Be there for your friends, Oryn."

Her gaze lowered toward the crystal she had been gifted. Entropite. A curious thing. A crystal that restrained the lethality of her blade, allowing her to fight without truly harming her opponent. A safeguard against bloodshed. Against herself.

It was an oddly fitting gift for the conversation they had just shared.

"Thank you, Braze. This crystal is a fine gift."

The words were short, restrained, but gratitude from someone as stoic as Ilaria carried weight enough on its own. Still, her lessons here were not finished, there was another thing she wished to understand.

"Tell me... why did the two of you become Jedi?"

She paused for only a moment.

"I ask as a matter of perspective."

Her expression remained composed, though there was something unusual buried beneath the calm now. The faint sense that the question carried far more meaning to her than simple curiosity. As though she were searching for an answer to something much older than the conversation itself.

​

 

[Braze]

Tags: Oryn Selvar Ilaria Morvayne ​

Braze shook his head gently, silently insisting. "Use it wisely," he offered softly to Oryn Selvar . "I have no doubt it will be of great use to you, and that it will help ease your mind, even when the time comes to draw blades."

Helping alleviate an emotional burden allowed someone to think more clearly, and to make better decisions in the moment, after all. Braze's attention shifted to Ilaria Morvayne as she spoke…

"That's okay… I mean, it's alright to cry. Crying is healthy. There's a time and place for everything," he said, trying to offer the words gently.

"It's harder to know when we should let ourselves feel, but feelings are important and healthy. You can learn to set them aside temporarily and deal with them after a moment where you are demanded to act. Don't think of it as bottling them up, or repressing them. Think about gathering them into a basket and setting it aside, so you can sort through it later, when it's safe."

He paused, expression softening. "It can help you make better decisions. People are, in general, very social creatures. We need connections to be healthy… funny, isn't it? Some try to take that sentiment too far and lock everything away, but no one is expected to suppress those feelings. The key is knowing when it's appropriate to engage with them. They're natural. Suppressing them isn't natural."

His voice remained calm, "So… try not to make yourself feel bad for needing to cry, especially when it's healthy to do so, like after the passing of a loved one, or in the wake of a tragedy. Having friends makes us much stronger overall, too. A network of friends helps you deal with those stressors more easily, and offers you support. It's not a weakness to ask a friend for help. It's a very smart thing to do, in truth, even if some of us have too much pride to admit it sometimes."

A small, sympathetic look crossed his face before he continued... "Emotions can be silly, and get us all confused like that. Think nothing of it. I hope it brings you peace of mind when it comes time to make difficult decisions. And for what it's worth, I'll always be a friend you can talk to. I won't share anything you bring to me in confidence."

He offered the assurance gently. "Just try to keep in mind… if you never tell anyone you're struggling, or suffering, no one will know to reach out. Too often, people don't tell anyone what's going on, and no one can help them if they never know."

He considered her question for a time, then smiled weakly, "Well, I didn't have much of a choice in the matter. My father dropped me off when I was young. I know now he did it to protect me, but when I was little, I hated him for it. I resented him and my mother. I felt like I had been abandoned by the only world I knew and loved, and that still hurts me to this day."

His gaze shifted slightly, as if chasing some old memory through the room...

"When I was a bit younger than I am now, I ventured away from the Temple to try and see what it was like to be normal. Like a normal teenager, just visiting a concert. I learned very quickly that I didn't seem to fit in with the normal civilian lifestyle. It was foreign to me. I don't think I ever will fit in that way. My experiences have shown me far more than a typical person is ever really expected to endure." He let the thought settle for a moment before finally adding,

"But… this is just sort of who I've come to be. These are the beliefs I share, and this is the community I feel like I most belong to. It's good to feel like you belong somewhere, or that you have a purpose. I find purpose in what I do here," he offered softly.

 

[Oryn Selvar]

​

"Use it wisely," he offered softly to Oryn Selvar Oryn Selvar . "I have no doubt it will be of great use to you, and that it will help ease your mind, even when the time comes to draw blades."

Oryn offered Braze a warm smile. "I'm sure it will" Not only had Braze challenged his negative thought patterns, he had also given him the tool to help him progress. The other Jedi might've been young, perhaps younger than Oryn himself, something which he might've resented him for any other time. Now all he felt was gratitude, and a sense of optimism in regards for the future he hadn't felt in a while. All his problems weren't solved, but the problems were at the very least revealed to be solveable. He could take one day at the time in that knowledge.

"Be there for your friends, Oryn."

"I will" As far as Padawans went, Oryn felt filled with more doubt than most, but on this he had none.

"Tell me... why did the two of you become Jedi?"

Oryn's answer was much the same as Braze's, apart from the pained memories. "I was raised in the Order. I don't really have many memories before. It's all I've ever been." a simple answer, perhaps not filled with the depth that she desired. The choice hadn't been his, at first, but every day since he could remember he had chosen to remain a Jedi. It was all he desired to become.

Braze | Ilaria Morvayne​

 

[Ilaria Morvayne]

TAG: Oryn Selvar Braze

---

Ilaria had never considered it reasonable to cry in public. She doubted she would ever fully arrive at the same conclusions as Braze on the matter, but his words had eased something within her, if only slightly.

They were... acceptable.

Appearances still had to be maintained, after all. There were Jedi Masters to meet, Padawans to work alongside, Knights to observe and understand. One truth she had learned the hard way was that most people preferred to associate with those who appeared agreeable to them, rather than those who truly required understanding.

Another detail lingered in her thoughts: all three of them had seemingly been raised within the Jedi Order from a very young age. Ilaria herself had never truly known a life outside of it until recently. Her enclave had isolated her from the wider galaxy, shaping her into the cold, detached woman now standing within these halls.

What else could such isolation do to a bright young soul?

For a moment, she considered revealing more of herself. The impulse passed quickly. There was no wisdom in revealing everything at once, especially after already speaking more openly than she usually allowed.

When she finally spoke again, her voice had returned fully to its calm, disciplined cadence.

"Well, I thank you both for the advice, and for answering my question. It is... comforting to know I am not alone in never truly having a life outside the idea of the Jedi."

Her gaze shifted toward Oryn.

"If you wish to join me once you are finished here, I will be refining my duelling skills. It would be a pleasure to spar with you."

Then her eyes turned back toward Braze.

"And again, my thanks for the gift. I will make certain to remember what you have taught me today."

There was the faintest pause afterward, almost imperceptible. A strange irony lingered beneath her gratitude, before she made her exit.

[EXIT]

​