Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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Private Learning how to Shii-Cho (Kyra/Yuroic)

He guided her through the motions, his voice was encouraging and not a firm or strict that he showed when they first started training. Yuroic had gotten friendlier and more open the more open that Kyra had become to learning. He was never harsh or cruel, just not the same way that he was now with her. He adjusted some of her movements, showing the right way and how to move best into the next form. "The flow will make you feel like a bigger when starting but you can quickly realise that there will be similarities between the all forms."

Thinking on her question, it was a fair question to pose, how can one be a pacifist when someone continues to kill you. "Then you defend yourself to the best of your ability. Killing isn't against the Jedi way, but you must believe there are no other options. Talking or disarming someone would always be the better way." Yuroic explained.
 
Killing isn't against the Jedi way, but you must believe there are no other options.

Kyra faltered, her blade dropping low at Yuroic's words.

"...How can you know?" She seemed abruptly done with sword work in that moment, caught up over something unsaid. She swallowed hard, straightening in her stance. "I mean. How can you know there's no other way? It's not like they'll tell you. They're just coming at you so-...how can you .... know?"
 
It was obvious why Kyra had faltered, he had suspected for awhile why she was odd at times when talking about using extreme force. Kyra had killed people while on a mission. Yuroic didn't know the detais, he could have approached Acaadi to find out but he was waiting for Kyra to tell him if she wanted his help in dealing with it. Instead, Yuroic crossed his arms as he looks over to Kyra and lowered his head. "I know, it can be hard. I struggled with dealing with others in the past. I fought and murdered slavers because I wasn't in control of my emotions and my past as well as the events at the time meant I lost control."

"However, I learned since then that it isn't right. That we must try, defend yourself, talk to them. Understand them best we can. If we kill without trying to stop or help others, then how are we better than Sith?" Yuroic pointed out, they needed to be better than their enemy and they couldn't lower themselves to their level.
 
--hen how are we better than Sith?"


That was the problem. Kyra feared she wasn't.

She didn't say this though. She lacked the courage to voice it out loud. Maybe this made her a bad person after all-- her inability to fess up to what she had done. Maybe she was sith bound. The connection was growing easier and easier to see. Her emotions got the best of her, constantly.

But what was she suppose to do about that?

Stop being who she was?

Guilt ate at her chest, the girl chewing her lip. She said the only thought she could muster, her voice low and small. "...I'll try."

She lashed out half-heartedly, twisting her blade in an attempt to disarm Yuoric all together of his training sword.
 
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Kyra still didn't confess to the deep anxiety and problems that were buried deep inside her, he didn't want to push her but he could tell that the problem was now affecting her fighting and that just wasn't acceptable to him since clearly she needed to talk and just needed a firm push. Yuroic easily blocked the half-hearted attack. "No, this isn't acceptable, you know how to fight better than this Kyra. However, you are in your head too much. So, speak, tell me what you have done that has you worried about becoming a Sith." Yuroic revealing that he knew her worries and thoughts.

"You are an open book Kyra, I am not reading your thoughts but it is clear from your body language and the Force surrounding you. So, tell me what happened and we can discuss it. Because if you are this worried about your actions and becoming a Sith, clearly you won't become one. If you were really going to fall to the Dark Side then you wouldn't care about what you have done or will do." Yuroic explained to her.
 
Shock emanated from Kyra, the girl taking a step back as her darkest feat was laid out before her like a book. Instinct encouraged her to deny it, but she bit it back. She knew there was no fooling Yuroic.

Only once had she accepted that she'd have to fess up did the fear kick up. She squirmed another step back, as if a little distance could protect her from the rejection she was braced to receive. "It's not what it looks like, I didn't mean to--it just happened," she whined, her arms half wrapping against herself.

And without thought-- without consideration-- response based solely on fear, Kyra reached out with force and tried to impress upon his mind one thought.

"You do not need to know more." She uttered, her voice wobbling as her hand waved through the air.
 
He was calm, he could sense the fear, the deep-seated terror that was inside her. Yuroic couldn't understand why she was so scared, he had freely offered the history of where he killed slavers in the past, he hadn't discussed the brutal killing he committed to his parents as he was concerned that she wasn't ready to know and a little of that he didn't want her to think of him as a monster, something he still thought of himself at times. Looking at Kyra he was shocked and slight disappointed when she attempted to use a Mind Trick on him.

Yuroic looked at her with cold eyes and walked closer, "no. Now I need to know everything. I would have thought by now that you knew only a weak mind is susceptible to that trick. So, tell me everything now." There was no kindness in his voice, he felt betrayed that she did not trust him and tried to trick him in a very weak attempt to avoid admitting the truth.
 
To say she nearly shat herself was an understatement. Kyra stumbled a step back as he walked closer, her training sword falling out of her hand and to the ground between them.

She had never seen this side of Yuroic before, and the emotions radiating off his chilled her to her core. "I-Ah- Alright. That had been a stupid move. I can see that now," she rambled, hands held out passively in an attempt to appeal to him.

"I'm-I'm sorry. I won't do it again. I meant no disrespect, master. Really!" Pheromones bombed the air, as full a strength as the quarter zeltron could muster. The reaction was rather instinctive, the girl craving peace despite her usual tendency to hit the other side of the spectrum herself. However the source of his answer was lost on her, because what she did next was very, very intentional.

She pressed back against him with the force, her action clumsy albeit surprisingly well directed for a padawan with shoddy training. There was no attempt to change his mind this time. Only emotions, a non suggestive version of her pheromones pressing down against his being.

Calm down. Be happy around her.
 
It was not that he was angry with her or that he was trying to threaten her, he was just hoping that to show what she had done hurt him or disappointed him greatly that Kyra would admit to whatever it was that she was trying to hide from him. Instead she seemed to be trying to keep her energy and those around her happy and ignore the very seriousness that was needed for the issue that was in the room. "Don't tell me to calm down Kyra, I am calm right now. I am not happy or pleased with you at the moment but I am perfectly calm." Yuroic stressed.

"Hiding something that is seemingly very serious incident is very bad form girl. I thought you trusted me enough to be open and honest with me, no matter what you have done. I am not a perfect Jedi, or a perfect man, I have made numerous mistakes in my life and will continue to. I can empathise and help you deal with anything that has happened. However, you need to decide if you really trust me or not." Yuroic stated, his voice still cool.
 
And this session had been going so well.

Kyra nervously stroked at her padawan braid, her fingers shaky and quick and they dragged up and down it. Her eyes skittered all around the room, looking for an exit like a cornered animal wanting a break of freedom. It all felt like her training had boiled down to this moment: This truth she had to say or risk getting booted again. Or saying the truth and simply getting booted because of it.

There was so much fear in loosing what she had around her, it made Kyra realize that she actually didn't want to leave this place at all. That was a first.

She made a noise of distress, caught between fear and the choice to trust. When it came down to it, Kyra was more apt to feel one thing.

"Iusedthedarksidetokillthem." She uttered, her voice cracking in the fear she pushed past. "I was too weak- I had-I had to. I didn't notice- I-"
 
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Once Kyra finally admitted to the past that was bubbling inside her. Yuroic grabbed Kyra and held her close. His aura was reassuring and warm, back to the way he had been before with her. Yuroic held her tight like she was his own daughter for several heartbeats before he let her go. "What Dark Side power did you use? Everyone has moments of weakness, like I told you, I used the Dark Side to kill slavers on Trandosha." Yuroic reassured her as he squeezed her shoulder as he sighed.

"I also used the Dark Side to torture and murder my own parents who were horrible slavers that abandoned me and didn't give a damn." Yuroic decided that her trusting him meant that he should trust her. "I felt like I was a monster because I took enjoyment from the torture and made it last for weeks if not months. But I found myself, I realised that I could resist the Dark Side in the future and I chose the Light Side." Yuroic informed her, "you are young, your powers are still growing. As long as you try to remain in the Light going forward then you have nothing to fear."
 
His own admittance startled her-- destabilized her almost.

A master that had tortured and taken pleasure from it? For a moment she recoiled. But then her own memories came to her. She remembered the strength. The power. How good it had felt to have the trandoshens fall at her feet.

And then she understood.

Maybe not like 'Yeah it's okay to torture someone for weeks on end' understand. But the temptation. The pleasure. Yes, that had been there. And if he, a master, could do much worse and still be light. Then... her shoulders slump in pure exhaustion, his words removing the heavy guilt that had been disrupting her for months.

Processing and healing from what had occurred would still take time, but with his words came the permission to move forward.

And she really needed that.

"Trandosha is a horrible place," she concluded, her voice tight. "Filled with horrible creatures. Why don't we just destroy it? Why can't we stop them from ever-" Hurting those around her again.
 
There was a long wait when Yuroic revealed his dark secret to Kyra, she seemed shocked and scared at his confession and then realisation of what Yuroic was trying to tell her. Breathing a sigh of relief, he was relieved when she felt the guilt fall off her shoulders as his words sunk in at last. However, she was now dealing with the hate and big emotions that came with releasing suppressed feelings and memories. He looked at her and shook his head, "there are bad Trandoshans, but that isn't every Trandoshan. Not every Corellian is perfect, not every Wookiee is perfect." Yuroic explained as he looked at her.

"To destroy it, you prove that you are no better than they are. That they are correct in their feelings towards us. If we try peaceful, kinder resolutions then we can help them improve and change their lives for the better. It takes time but it could be a more lasting effect." Yuroic stated as he placed a hand on her shoulder and smiled warmly to her. "We have the power to make things better, or destroy people, but to choose the former shows restraint and better willpower. It is easy to kill evil, it is harder to fight it and turn them onto your side."

He hoped that she could see that destroying a people was not the answer.
 
"I've yet to meet one that wasn't a sack of potatoes." She scowled, her prejudice deeply ingrained. In a rare twist of character, Kyra picked up her training sword, no longer interest in words.

"Okay so, form two," she stated, holding her sword out with intention. He wasn't going to get any more out of her. Not today. For once the padawan seemed strangely done with dealing with emotions.

Long day.

She sunk into her stance, holding the sword up more easier than ever before. "Show me the forms again."
 
Yuroic sighed, he couldn't convince Kyra today that her views were skewed and that there were many species we typically think of as bad when there are so many more that are trying to fight for peace and justice. To be blind to that was to slip into darkness, he had seen it in others and he didn't want Kyra to fall down that path.

However he had to respect her wishes to not discuss it right now. In time, it would be discussed and for now she wanted to focus on training so that was what he would do. Holding the training sword, he guided her through the second form. "This is a big focus on combatting someone with a Lightsaber or melee weapon. It is a skilfull form for Sith opponents or Dark Jedi. But it leaves you exposed to blasters and ranged attack more. So many use Shien to counter the weakness with a mix of Makashi. So when we learn Form V I will show you how to integrate it into Makashi." Yuroic informed Kyra, giving her something extra.
 
It had been awhile since he had trained with Kyra, he had noticed there was a lack of her training saber whenever they had been practising as of late. Yuroic had his suspicions on what had happened to her saber but Yuroic was waiting for Kyra to admit to what had happened to the saber. Looking around the room, Yuroic inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly as he thought about when he used a training saber. It had been tough, he was under prepared for a lot of events that happened not long after he joined the order.

A training saber is not the weapon to take on the Sith and defend the innocent from oppression. When Kyra admitted to what happened to her saber, Yuroic would offer her a chance to go on a hunt for a crystal. It was time for Kyra to finally upgrade to a proper Lightsaber, he just hoped that she knew what she wanted in a Lightsaber.
 
Kyra shuffled on into classroom with a yawn. At first it had been kinda nice having two different mentors looking after her training. JJ and Yuroic were like polar opposites as far as teaching, and was unquestionably fun pushing limits with JJ that Yuroic hadn't allowed. However one thing remained annoyingly consistent across the board, and that was their insistence to wake her up early and work her hard. If it wasn't one, it was the other.

At least it chased the coat tails of insomnia. There was nothing like pushing yourself hard and falling into bed after a day of nonstop training. Sleep was dreamless. A small respite to her ever present muscle ache.

"Pleeeeease tell me we're gonna practice mediation today," she wined, flopping herself on the ground and stretching out on her back.
 
It was good to see Kyra growing in her role as a Padawan, she hadn't been assigned a Jedi Master yet to have a consistent teacher, though she seemed to enjoy to flit between teachers and just learn at her own pace as well so Yuroic wasn't going to force her to choose. If she wanted one Master, then she would decide that for herself, in her own time. For now, Yuroic was happy to keep her training up and ensure that she wasn't falling behind other Padawans and she was doing very well from what he could tell.

As she flopped on the ground, Yuroic shook his head and smirked. "How about some sword work, got your training saber on you?" There was a knowing glint in his eye for a second then it flashed away. "Think it would be good to ensure that you keep on top of your saber training and noticed recently that we haven't done as much in Lightsaber forms."
 
Kyra tensed subtly, her eyes going a little wide and wild as she quickly found herself backed into a lie. She sat up, regarding Yuroic warily. She had seen that glint. "What? Why? You said training swords are better. Heavier. Forces me to get stronger for my endurance!" She gave a weak attempt at flexing her arms, doing what muscle she had built up no justice.

"See? Besides," she huffed, standing up and brushing off her arms. "Didn't bring it." She shrugged haplessly. "Didn't know." She reached out her hand, calling the wooden training sword snapping into her hand as if that settled that.
 
It seemed that she was still reluctant to admit that she had lost the saber, it was disappointing that she was still so unwilling to be honest with him. Yuroic didn't feel like he had made Kyra feel like Yuroic would judge her for losing a weapon or having it damaged. "I believe that weighted swords are important to begin with but now that we are perfecting our skills, it is important to use a training weapon of similar weight to a real Lightsaber. Hence training with your training saber." Yuroic looked at Kyra with his arms crossed.

"It's good that you have been training hard, I'm proud of your progress Kyra, but today is to train with your training saber. Should have it on you at all times, what if we were suddenly attacked and you didn't have a weapon?" Yuroic pointed out as he gripped the sword out of her hand with the Force as he shook his head. "Either, you can go fetch the training saber, or you can admit that you lost it or broke it and we can move forward." His tone was neutral, he wasn't upset and there was no judgement.
 

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