Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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Justice Never Pays

What he though was best. That softened him, made James feel less angry. Yes, he was still upset that the moment had been shattered, but that, for one reason or another, that he couldn't quite place, felt really good. Plus the way she ran her fingers through her hair was--what was the word--adorable?

The spacer smiled, taking a moment to get lost in her eyes and face.

"Sir," said the head of the envoy making their way towards James hastily, "there are urgent matters to attend to."

James looked up, "Aye, first things first, unload Anara's luggage from the Angel and put it in me room."

"Sir, Senator Dianne is in your quarters," objected one of the others. "Which was what I was going to say, she is quite--"

"Who?" James asked furrowing his brows.

The men blinked, confused. Was their boss kidding or was this a test? Why was he acting so strangely? The CEO who was normally on top of life and in charge, with a quick tongue and a sharp wit was now--what had gotten into him? And should they really be discussing this matter in front of the current lady he was interested in?

"Sir, she is the Zeltron representative," ventured a Muun follower, "You have been parading her around for two weeks, negotiating deals. Before you--"

"Well what is she doing in me bedroom? Get her the frells out, now," James snapped.

"Yes, sir," the Muun said meekly before he sulked away.

"And ye," he said pointing to another, "Get me the five best psychiatrists in the galaxy. I dun't care how, I want em here in 48 hours or less. Pay, kidnap, bribe, blackmail I dun't care how, get em here."

"Yes sir."

James looked at Anara again and smiled, "I promised I would take care of ye, I will. I will do whatever it takes to get ye safe." He caressed her cheek softly. Her skin was so smooth, and gentle. Flawless in every way.

"Sir, please, there are urgent matters to tend to," another of the desk-jockeys practically shouted, "The Republic is under invasion sir!"

"What the hell do I care?" James snapped back. "Let em handle their own land."

"Sir, they are asking for us to privateer for them, and Triter Zone is contacting you about a possible venture for the fleet. The pirates on the west are threatening to forgo the treaty and attack our orphanages," he said at last, his voice pitch rising in fervor.

James sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. Some days it sucked being the Invisible Hand and the People's Criminal. He looked to Anara apologetically.

"I will be hurrying this as fast as I can," he said in soft tones, wrapping an arm around her. "I promise. Ye can come and sit in if ye want, but this won't be exactly exciting."

[member="Anara Valnor"]
 
Molten orbs widened slightly before her brow creased in concern, her lips pressed together in a thin line. He clearly wasn't thinking straight and on top of that he was acting as though she were helpless.

Did he forget so easily that she was a Sith Lord?

Clearly he had.

Frowning Anara grabbed the arm of one of his attendants, pulling the man over so that he nearly dropped the papers he was carrying. "James. Enough," she snapped. "I don't need psychiatrists, let alone five, and I was never in any danger. I'm as safe now as I was before you hid in my barn," she scolded.

Looking to the man she'd grabbed Anara stepped away from James and motioned for his man to whisk the pirate away. "Go. I'll be alright...I'll go for a swim or something."

With that she handed him off to his men and went in search of a quiet place so that she could think.
 
James nodded, and straitened his back. He blinked twice to try and process what he just heard. He was trying to distinguish whether it was personal or--if he had done something wrong. Before he could even process all of it, or ask--she walked off.

"What did I do?" he whispered, stiffing back a stinging tear.

Shake it off James. Shake it off, be a big boy.

"Sir, the Republic is waiting," One of the men said almost frantically.

"Right," James muttered, "Right."

For the next few hours, James threw himself headlong into work, looking over plans, read outs, data charts, flows, and routes. He charted two new routes, and aligned a fleet to assist in the Roche invasion. The spacer lord sent about sending a massive fleet to crush the Prates in their sleep in a sneak attack. He organized half a dozen deals with the Medic Corps, he designed half a droid and commissioned three new shadow port investments. He even wade through two stacks of paper work and guzzled half a case of ale and two cartons of cigarettes, but nothing worked. The sting of her words didn't go away. He was still aching. He hurt like nothing else.

Even when Leighlah had said stinging things, which was very rare, he hadn't felt this way.

"Sir, shall we go and prepare your lounge for the nightly clubbing?" asked a former slave name Ranix.

James looked at the fellow. James had rescued him, he remembered it well enough. The man had been married, they saved him and his children. The spacer had hired him, as he did all slaves that were rescued. And that was very much ok with him.

"Mate, what do you do when the misses be angry at ye?" James asked at last.

Ranix gave him a confused look, "Um, sir?"

"What do ye--oh never mind," James waved it off and looked back to his paperwork. It was foolishness, besides why would someone known for his nature and lifestyle ask? It was a punishment to his persona.

"Well," Ranix said slowly, "I ask her what I did wrong, and I apologize."

James' head popped up, 'What? Apologize? Why?"

Ranix shrugged, "Because I was wrong, and I love her."

"How do ye, hypothetically, apologize," James asked, "hypothetically, of course."

Ranix furrowed his brows. He wasn't stupid, and it was a strange question. A very specific question. He would help anyway, as a good friend and as a good employee, "I say 'I am sorry, love' and I tell her I didn't mean to hurt her. We talk it out and we find a way to fix what was done. I make sure she knows that she is important to me and I don't do it again." he added, "hypothetically, of course."

James nodded, "Thank ye, mate, that'll be all."

Ranix left. James lit up a fresh cigarette and began walking down the halls, looking for Anara. Well, he might as well get this over with.....

[member="Anara Valnor"]
 
Upon leaving James to tend to his seemingly neglected business Anara had gone to explore the massive building. However, she didn't get far before she found what appeared to be a private gym. Rather than continue her exploration Anara decided to get some of her frustrations out by breaking a little sweat; plus working out always seemed to clear her mind.

She spent the better part of an hour simply running until she was dripping with sweat. Next she moved onto the weights and by the time she was done Anara was exhausted. She had every intention of finding James' bedroom to take a shower, but then she stumbled upon the hot tub and any thoughts of a shower vanished. Striping down Anara stepped into the frothing warm water and there she remained, letting all of her stress and worries melt away.

It was there James would find her, humming to herself as she absently twirled a few orbs of water above her head.

[member="James Justice"]
 
James ran his fingers through his hair as he walked along the private halls to the security room where cameras had a feed on the monitors. James watched her quest along to his private gym. A billionare had to stay in shape after all.

He watched her as she ran and lifted and--

Had all of it saved onto a hard drive to review later. Hey, it wouldn't hurt anything for him to review it later to examine her physical healthy in great detail...... Right?

It made him almost feel better. Especially the part where she stripped down and hopped into the hot tub. James had never run that fast to the gym in all his life.

Taking a moment to catch his breath beforehand, James stepped inside where she was. Apologizing was about as far from his mind as anything in the world could be.

"Well then," he said with a pleased smile, "This be quite a site for sore eyes."

He pressed one of the wall comms to the kitchen, "Fredriki, dinner in the gym. Hot tub ye know what to bring."

The spacer discarded his clothes briefly before stepping in with her. His hand glossed over a compartment in the side, revealing a chilled bottle of wine and two glasses. He smiled and let his haze eyes lock in on hers, although his periphrial vision was sure to take and study everything else.

"Thank ye for being patient," he said. "I hope it wasn't too much of a bother."

[member="Anara Valnor"]
 
Her serenity was shattered as James suddenly appeared and all at once she realized she was naked...in his hot tub. Still unsure where they stood in each others eyes Anara was fairly certain that James did not need to be seeing her in such a state of undress, despite the fact that they'd spent the past two nights in the same bed cuddling in their sleep. None of that mattered in her mind as it was all harmless, plus it kept her from waving her saber around in her sleep...or worse during one of her nightmares.

"James," she warned softly, eyeing him as she moved a bit lower in the water and hide herself beneath the frothing bubbles. Her cheeks were red from the heat, but as he began to strip Anara felt herself blush in a way she hadn't in...well she couldn't remember. "James!" she scolded, arms rising to cover her chest as she crossed her legs beneath the water, eyes shut until she was sure James was safely hidden beneath the water.

Glaring at him she chose that moment to let the orbs of water fall, all three falling directly onto his head one after the other. "Sleeping in the same bed is one thing James," she warned, careful to keep herself covered and on the opposite side of the hot tub as she tried not to smile at how surprised he looked to have water dumped on his head.

[member="James Justice"]
 
James laughed as the water hit his head. Her blushing was priceless and frankly adorable. He pushed his bangs back out of his face with a boyish grin.

"Anara, ye think this is the first time I seen a naked woman?" he laughed.

James sighed and shook his head, the smile melting off his face. He had dealt with women his whole life in an intimate level, deeper than most men ever did. And with more women than most men ever met in their entire life. He had leaned a lot of things, seduction only being one of them. Some would assume that because he had gone through strings of women that he couldn't keep one. That wasn't the case, he was just afraid of getting attached and heartbroken once more.

One of the many things he had learned rang through his ears; when a woman is angry about something, its not the thing she is really angry about.

The spacer pinched the bridge of his nose. Generally what would follow was a long game of cat and mouse, trying to figure it out, but he could guess why, or at least venture to.

"I'm sorry," he said with a sigh, looking up, "I just--" he winced. Don't. Don't say it. If you say it then it becomes real. Don't say it. You don't love her. You never did, you never will, you never will love again. You know that. Everyone who loves you will hurt you. You don't love her.

"I care about ye," he said honestly, "and I have a feelin ye are still angry at me over the psychiatrists shtick I just," he hesitated. The man wanted to tell her so much, he wanted to tell her everything but that would take hours and hours and he didn't have that time, and frankly he didn't know if she would believe him, or if he would bore her. Or if she would even care.

"I never had a family," he tried again to start, "I never had one proper. It was me and da. Mum ran off when I were young, decided I were too much responsibility. Da died right in front of me eyes, I watched him get gunned down when I were only a kid. I spent me life on the tramp freighter just surviving. Drinking. Smoking. Doing what I could to take care of meself and those around me. Trying to forget that he died.

"I met people I cared about, lots of people. And all of them have been taken from me. I made a family out of those that I cared about and they all been taken from me at one point or another, I wish I could quit caring but I can't," his eyes began filling with tears, "I can't stop caring and I care about ye," his eyes met hers, searching, trying to say it without saying it, "I care about ye. I care. And I dun't know how to help ye but I want to so bad. I will do anything to take care of ye because I care for you."

James tried to swallow the lump from his throat, but it wouldn't go away. He could feel himself loosing his composure against his will, "I--I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

[member="Anara Valnor"]
 
"Well I know that...but this is the first time you're seeing me naked..." she murmured, brow creased as she continued to glare lightly at him. Still covering herself, Anara was careful to keep her eyes upon James' face, but as he talked she relaxed her defensive posture.

"James..."

Her voice was soft and panic began to creep into her bones, cold and real. He cared about her? How? Why? They'd spent two days together. Two. How was it possible that he cared so damn much? Her chest tightened and the voices within began feeding into her fears, whispering that it was a trick, a lie, he only meant to end her.

Swallowing she watched him carefully, unsure what to say or do as she fought with those blasted voices. Finally after several long minutes of silence she found that she had the strength to speak. Only Anara didn't know what to say or exactly how to say what she was feeling.

"I...I'm lost James...and for the first time since I awoke with only the memory of my name I feel...I feel something other than chaos and a desire to send the whole of the galaxy into oblivion...and that's because of you..." she explained softly.

Her arms tightened around her lithe form as she closed her eyes, searching for the right words.

"I'm not angry about the psychiatrists so much as the fact that...you made me feel helpless...Weak...Things I'd kill others for...The path I'm seeking to walk is shrouded from my vision, but yet I'm still looking for it. I don't know how to recover what I've lost, but doctors can't help me. I can only help myself...the Force will guide me...Just being near you helps..."

Smiling softly, sadly, she held out one hand while still keeping herself covered and took one of his. "I'm sorry too...I want to...I want to share something with you," she murmured. Cautiously she moved to be near him so that she could press her forehead to his. Closing her eyes Anara let slipped into his mind just enough so that he could hear all the voices within her own. She held the connection for only a moment before recoiling, fearing that the voices would seek to tear James' psyche apart.

"They are always with me...but you ease that burden...somehow..."
 
He listened to what Anara had to say, nodding his head and wiping the tears from his face. He understood, he would try. It wouldn't be easy, but he would try. When she offered her hand, he gripped it as tightly as he could without fear of hurting her. He was afraid if he let go or eased up that she would fly away, slipping through his fingers like sand or smoke. The closeness was intense as she came closer and closer. Nothing could have prepared him for what happened next.

Granted an entrance into her mind, he listened. He could hear them screaming, shouting, moaning wailing. Many times he had been on slave barges, massive prison ships converted to carry unwilling human cargo. His mind reminded him of these ships, only so much bigger. He couldn't tell how many there were. As their minds connected, these sort of connections always went two ways. She was granted a glimpse into his broken aching heart. Amid the darkness of her mind, the pain that swirled around he could see a single sliver of light, light a bright single orb amid all the destructive clashing. He wrapped his hand behind her neck, caressing it softly. How long did it last? He didn't know but touching her alone felt so good.

He could have withstood it for longer, if only to keep her close. He was a lot stronger than most would expect a man like him to be. A lifetime of suviving by willpower and luck alone had turned his core into a battered but beskar-strong warrior.

"Then dun't leave me," he said softly, "I am sorry, please never leave. Let me help ye. If I can do is sit by ye and ease the pain, I will do it. Ye make me feel--" he swallowed down the memories that threatened to send him down another pitiful sobbing streak, "things I ain't felt in a long time."

[member="Anara Valnor"]
 
She blinked, her eyes searching his as the voices within her cried out, desperate to reach him. They'd only gotten a taste of him, his sorrow and fears. They wanted more. Amidst the dark desires of those wretched voices Anara was stumbling over the fact that she'd felt...well she wasn't sure what she'd felt from James.

He cared for her, that much she now believed, but...was it more than that? The very idea of there being more to how James felt terrified her. Guilt also ate at her because Anara wasn't sure how she felt toward the man. She liked him, but feeling more than that...was she even capable of that?

"I'll try," she finally managed, sadness evident in her tone.

"I don't want to hurt you...but I can't promise anything except that I'll try..." she murmured, kissing his cheek before moving to put distance between them once more.
 
James nodded and swallowed, "Ok."

She wanted distance. Fine, he would give her distance. He had made vows like this before to Sasha to stay true and take care of her. And again she had hurt him. He had sworn allegiance to women and they all had vanished on him or hurt him in one way or another.

But was she doing the same to him? Did she even want him? Force damn, so many mixed signals. He lowered his eyes. He felt crushingly defeated. Hope is for the weak. You know that. Just hold strong the way you are and don't ever give up or give in.

Dinner came, and James was grateful for the distraction. He ate quietly, thinking. He had a lot to think about. To try and process. He hated himself for feeling the way he did. He knew what he felt but he was terrified to say it. To admit he knew. It would make it real. It would mean he had to commit and let himself be hurt again. He couldn't be hurt again. But he knew he couldn't pull away.

His self-preservation and his love for Anara waged war with each other. At last done with the meal, he pushed his plate and fork away and climbed out of the tub. He grabbed a towel and tossed it to Anara's side of the tub, careful to land on the dry side. She wanted distance, he was fine with that, he would give her distance.

"Dry yeself off, help ye self to bed. There be a closet over yonder ye can get clothes from. Tomorrow ye can go shopping and get what ye want from town," he said almost sulkily. "I am going to the club. I may be back to bed, whenever. I may not. Depends on how I feel," he mutter wrapping the towel around himself and trotting to the door.

[member="Anara Valnor"]
 
She'd hurt him and Anara hated herself for it in a way she hadn't thought possible. Did Sith feel these sorts of things? Self loathing? It didn't seem right and yet there she was regretting a few simple words.

Frowning she stood and wrapped the towel around herself, her power filling the room so that the air seemed to become heavy. Thick and dark it rolled off of her as she held the door shut, trapping James.

Her skin seemed paler as she approached him, her multitude of scars dark against her porcelain skin like cracks in ivory paint. Her eyes burned, Darkness clashing with the natural hue of her eyes as she caught James by the arm, her grip on him harsh as her power swelled further.

"Don't," she murmured, her power suddenly evaporating as her hold on him loosened. She still held the door shut, but the anger she'd seem to come at him with was suddenly gone. "Please..."

She held onto his arm for a long time without saying anything before slowly releasing him and the door.

"I'm frightened...of what you feel for me and what I feel for you...I don't even know if I'm capable of feeling as you do...Until a few days ago I was more monster than woman and now...What if that never changes James? Will you still want me to never leave you?"
 
James watched the door slam in his face and he gave a sigh. Why did this have to happen? Couldn't he just drown himself and his sorrows in alcohol? Was that too much to ask? Was it?

Her touch made him stiffen, not out of anger but surprise. And he listened, without looking at her. He couldn't bring himself to do it, not because of her, but because of him. He knew if he did he would fall apart. He knew everything that he had left in him, every bit of strength would be gone. All of it would leave in an instant if he looked in her eyes. It was all he had left, was his strength. Everything else would be taken from him in one form or another, he knew it.

At last he trusted himself to speak and look at her, his eyes meeting hers and getting lost in the moment.

"Yes," he said without thinking. He didn't have time to stop and think, or time to hide himself from what he knew deep inside and was trying to hide from himself.

His hand caressed her cheek, her crimson hair, her very being. He could feel himself getting closer again, moving towards her lips. It was like a second chance at the north pole. His lips came just before touching hers. He hesitated. Did he dare? Should he? He didn't care.

His lips brushed against hers softly in a first, sweet lingering kiss. His fingers gingerly cradled her head as he drank in her sweet warmth and care. Yes, he never wanted this to end. The taste of her lipstick, the smell of her pheramones, the feeling of her skin on his was intense. His lips pressed against hers again in a second kiss, his other arm wrapped around her, pulling her body against his.

Another kiss.

Another kiss.

His lips parted and his tongue teased her lips, tasting her before probing into and tasting her. It teased and caressed inside her, before pressing in firmer, and deeper. His breathing became heavy, hot and short as he pulled her closer, deeper into his arms and surrounding her with nothing but his intense presence. In the Force his aura rang out strong and heavy, like an ocean of intensity as he devoured her in the kiss.

[member="Anara Valnor"]
 
What?

His answer startled her and she moved to pull away, but then he caught her. Again his lips were hovering over her own and all she could do was stare into his dark eyes.

Then...he kissed her.

Her breath hitched and everything went still. The voices vanished and all Anara could hear was him, his Song, and it was beautiful.

Again and again he kissed her, and she slowly returned each one until her arms were locked tightly around his neck. Clinging to him, Anara let go and her raw power wrapped around his. It was like nothing she'd ever felt before and in that moment she glimpsed who she had been, and who she could be again.

"James," she panted when they broke apart for a moment, her toes barely touching the floor as she held tight to her Crimelord. Her Crimelord....she liked the sound of that.

"I'll never leave you..."
 
James nuzzled her face, keeping Anara close. He she felt warm, and soothing. He didn't care. Let the worlds burn. Let all of them crash around him, let the worlds die, let the Sith and Jedi wage war, let them all all die. He didn't care. And he didn't care where she had been or where he was going. He would let it all die. All that mattered was she said those words. And he would do his damndest to make them worth it.

Was he perfect? No. He knew that all too well. But he would try damn it. He would try.

***

That night James held her closer than he had before. Before he was afraid she would leave him. He was afraid of aches, pains, all of it. He was scard of the agony he knew was coming, that one day would tear his heart out once more. He knew he would lose all and be left screaming in the void one more time. He had too many times already. But once more. Would it kill him? Probably. It would most likely end every bit of him that was left.

But that didn't matter. What mattered was he was here. And he was now. And she was able to be held and he was safe. He knew he was playing a risky game. No, he wouldn't give her his heart. No, not yet. Not anyone. But he would hold her. And he would take care of her because he could and she needed it. And sweet sleep began to grip him once more. Tomorrow awaited, but for now, the dream would would suffice.

[member="Anara Valnor"]
 

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