Private Just Friends

[Alex Locke]

//: Academy Dorms //:
//: Coruscant //:
//: Qell Auraeli //:

​

They had graduated. It was all over for the time being. No more classes, no more baby training missions, and easy simulations. Everything from this point forward was going to be very real, and war loomed on the horizon. Did this mean that they were adults now? Alex frowned as she pulled her knees to her chest as she thought about the future. She wasn’t the biggest fan of change, and with the academy time being over, it meant that she would be assigned to a squadron. ​

​

Also meant that she could be separated from Qell. ​

​

Alex sat on her bed as she looked down at her socked feet. A soft smile spread across her face as she made the two bears that decorated the fabric kiss when she brought her feet close together. She repeated the action a few times as she wondered what it would be like to kiss someone. The thought made her face blush and find solace in her knees, hiding from the world. There was no one, in particular, she would have liked to do it with, but still, the thought of even being that intimate with someone was beyond her. ​

​

If it was possible, Alex pulled further into herself, her feet covering the other as she fell backward onto the bed. They would be moving from the dorms and to where their respective squadrons would be stationed. There were a few places she had wanted to be stationed and several others where she didn’t want to be stationed. Coruscant and Corellia were top of her list. She wanted to go back home and ideally bring Qell with her. It would be nice to share her birth world with her dearest friend. Though she figured they would separate them, and the thought made her heartache. ​

​

The Corellian unraveled her body as she tried to loosen the knot that formed in her chest. A hand-rubbed palm against the middle of her chest, she massaged the source of the knot hard as she thought quietly about what she was going to do if they got separated. Knowing that Qell could be on the other side of the galaxy made her core anxiety continue to grow. She didn’t want to think about it. ​

​

On the subject of Qell, the Corellian sat up on her bed, leaning on her elbow and thought quietly. The girl had left the room some time ago but usually was quick to return. Something sank into the pit of her stomach as she wondered if she had met someone along the way and decided to spend the last bit of their time at the academy with them. Groaning, she fell back onto her back and stared at the ceiling. ​

​

“Stupid Qell.” Frowning, Alex rolled to her side and wrapped her arms around her, trying not to think about where Qell was or about their upcoming assignments.​

 

[Qell Auraeli]

F L I G H T . A C A D E M Y . D O R M S
C O R U S C A N T
______________________________________________________________

Alex Locke
______________________________________________________________​

Her heart was hammering in her ears, and with tension bleeding into every tentative step, Qell Auraeli moved with a grace and silence very few her height and build could ever hope to achieve. Like a woman behind enemy lines, there was no room for error. Her mission had to be flawless. Her cargo simply too precious to surrender should she be captured.

Well, perhaps it wasn’t that all serious.

Nevertheless There was an unusual sense of anticipation in the dorms as the Alderaanian K’paur snuck back in. Like the calm before a storm, even the air itself felt charged and electrified as the cadets - now fledgling flight officers - awaited tomorrow with baited breath. The last year (and change) had sped past. It seemed like only yesterday that they’d been fumbling in the simulators, yet in two days they would be getting assigned their first postings. Everyone was understandably on edge; their entire future would be shaped by where they ended up.

It didn’t help that they were on lockdown in anticipation of the ceremony tomorrow. A new Chancellor, a new dawn for the Alliance, etc etc. Attendance to one of the pre-approved events was mandatory for the graduating class, and to ensure they arrived sober and fresh, they were supposed to remain in the dorms until tomorrow.

Suppose being the operable word.

Quell had found during her time at the academy that with a few greased palms here, a favour called in there, that word was surprisingly open to interpretation with the provosts. Tonight’s jaunt in particular had been more expensive than before, however, exacting what little she had managed to stash away for a rainy day and more besides. The bag she hefted beyond that.

Worth every cred.

Or at least, so she had thought until she’d slipped back into her dorm in time to be insulted. Her brow instantly riddling with a confusion that clearly echoed in her voice as she addressed the blonde from behind, “Wow, nice to see you too, Qell.”

She held up the bag and gave it a shake.

“Thanks for risking life and limb just to go get me those dumb peaches you don’t even like, Qell. I bet they were expensive and hard to get this time of year, Qell. You're too good to me Qell.” She gave an exaggerated roll of her eyes, tossing the bag on to the other girls’ lap that sent soft sihan peaches rolling across her bed. “You’re welcome by the way.”

 

[Alex Locke]

//: Academy Dorms //:
//: Coruscant //:
//: Qell Auraeli //:

​

Alex was close to falling asleep. It was better to just sleep the rest of the evening away than worrying about where Qell had wandered off to. She had learned after all these years that waiting for Qell was a bad idea. There had been several morning workouts that Alex had nearly missed because she was too tired to wake up after staying up the night before. Instead of falling asleep, it seemed Qell’s timing was uncanny as she was caught insulting the other K’paur. A blush tipped the Corellian’s exposed ears as she looked at the other girl from the corner of her eyes. ​

​

Cheeks puffed, she caught the bag and examined the contents as one rolled across her bed. “Oh.” She was surprised. It seemed that her friend had been thinking of her instead of chasing a cute boy down the hallways. Grabbing the peach delicately, she brought it to her face, where she nearly went cross-eyed looking at it. A part of her expected for it to explode or something, but when she got it to her nose, she smelled the sweetness of the fruit. ​

​

Instantly, Alex felt guilty for her comment and doubted her friend, but she wanted to justify her feelings. Putting the peach back into the bag, she brought it closer to her and softly hugged it and felt the slight blush carry over across her cheeks ending at the tip of her small nose. She didn’t dare look at Qell; she felt guilty enough already for how she was feeling. ​

​

“Thank you.” Alex started giving her friend a slight smile. The peaches were her favorite, and she really hadn’t been able to get her hands on any in the past year. It was curious that Qell had decided today to be the day to get them. Either way, Alex was overjoyed. Putting the bag aside, Alex stood and shuffled her way over to Quell and wrapped her arms around the taller girl. Alex burrowed her face slightly as she chuckled. ​

​

“You’re too good to me, Qell, thank you for risking your life and limb to get me my dumb peaches.” She looked up to stare at the other’s face. Alex smiled as her tone changed slightly, teasing Qell as she let her go from the hug. “I don’t know why you don’t like them, they’re so sweet and tender. Also, they’re full of good vitamins.” Looking back at the bag, she grabbed a peach, shined it on her cloth shirt, and then bit into the peach. It was juicy as she had to suck through her teeth to make sure nothing dribbled from her bite. ​

​

Alex chewed happily and then nodded. “These are really good, where in the world did you find them - especially this time of year?” She wanted to ask if Qell had run into anyone else on her adventures, but jealousy wasn’t something Alex ever wanted to admit to.​

 

[Qell Auraeli]

F L I G H T . A C A D E M Y . D O R M S
C O R U S C A N T
______________________________________________________________

Alex Locke
______________________________________________________________​

As always Alex stiffened as the other girl wrapped an arm around her and dragged her down into an embrace, taking a full second or two before she allowed to relax into it. Resting the edge of her cheek on the shorter girl's head. As an almost universal rule, the Auraeli family were not huggers by nature. Affection from her father had been a rough slap on the shoulder, while her mother had been more inclined towards stiff nod at a respectable distance, reserved save for the most rare of occasions when she remembered she'd been graced with two daughters instead of one.

As always, Alex proved the Lockes nearly as guarded.

Damned if they weren't messy, though.

"I hate sticky fingers that's why. You're getting it everywhere." With an exaggerated grimace she leant forward to cup the blonde's chin, wiping the errant juice that was trailing down past her lips with her thumb. Pausing for a split second before gently flicking her on the end of the nose as she stepped back. Absently wiping her hand on her pants. "What, and ruin the mystery?" She replied with a smirk, "You remember Garaxi, the guy that graduated last year? Had a mustache that just wouldn't come in? His father runs a..."

She hesitated, chewing the inside of her cheek for a second as she tried to come up with the best way to describe the den of inequity she'd encountered on her travels, opting to alter a few key details to fit 4the audience's innocence. Not that Alex needed protecting - if anything the reverse was true. While people said she had an intense glare that could strip paint off a bulkhead, Qell lived in fear that those blue eyes would level a far more devastating look of disappointment in her direction.

"A... Um, an import/export business in the lower levels. He had one of his crews pick them up especially when they were passing through the Outback. Luckily they had a way of keeping it in stasis. I got that and..."

She reached over to grab the bag on the bunk, producing a slender bottle of expensive wine. Hardly Domaine de la Maison sur le Lac and not quite as pricey, especially when compared to those peaches, but enough that she would be hurting for the first month or so before her first salary installment cleared. She placed the cork between her teeth and yanked it free with a 'pluump!' as the room instantly filled with a sweet, almost velvety scent of the imported wine.

"I figured we could toast our last night as well..."

She let it hang there unsaid for a moment, suddenly feeling nervous about tomorrow for a whole different reason. While the Auraeli's had abandoned her, Alex had been her constant companion even before the academy. Side by side since they were kids. Now they were on the eve - or the eve of the eve - that would see them worlds if not sectors apart. It was sobering, but then... that was why she had brought the wine.

"...I guess a toast to us, I suppose."

 

[Alex Locke]

//: Academy Dorms //:
//: Coruscant //:
//: Qell Auraeli //:

​

The hug was friendly; Alex wondered if she had hugged Qell for her own benefit or for hers. Either way, the hug was comforting, and despite the initial stiffness she received, Alex had held on, like always. A smile crossed her face as she wanted to chuckle at the silly reason her friend didn't like the peaches. It wasn't out of the ordinary that Qell was quite personal with the Corellian, but for some reason, the moment she grabbed her chin, things felt different. ​

​

The feeling of warmth passed through Qell's thumb and to Alex's face as her lips pulled with every pass. Everything around them seemed to fall silent on the blonde's ears; she even forgot what Qell was scolding her about. If her face could get redder, it did, and she could feel her body lean closer to Qell yet feel like it was going to collapse under her in that very moment. Curious blue eyes stared up at Qell, suddenly realizing different features of the K'paur and the color of her eyes. The flick to her nose snapped the Corellian from her daydream, and she stepped back and covered her face in shock and convenience. ​

​

Her blonde bun bobbed as she followed the story as she acknowledged she recognized some of the names. Hands falling, she continued to eat the peach but doing her best to remain clean. The moment that just happened was overly confusing since that had never happened before or something. ​

​

"Ohh, well, it was a good thing you ran into him. I mean, it's been so long since I've had these." She finished and tossed away the pit. As the wine was produced, her eyes went wide. Drinking wasn't something she partook in often, mostly because of how she was. The normally reserved girl seemed to be a bit more friendly, open with the affection she gave people, and when she sobered up, embarrassment would settle in. "I can't believe you were able to sneak that in. It sounds like a good idea." Her voice trailed off, the reality of their graduation and possible separation settled in. ​

​

Alex didn't want to think about it. She didn't want to imagine being separated from Qell and not always knowing that she was okay. That sicking tightness in her chest returned, and she did her best to hide it from her best friend. Tonight was supposed to be a happy one, so she brushed aside the feelings she felt and flashed a brilliant and mischievous smile to her friend. "Okay, let's celebrate - but whoever passes out first gets in trouble or gets pranked." Her voice was confident at the start but soon trailed off, knowing that she was usually the first to fall asleep. ​

​

Remembering her sticky fingers, she wiggled them at Qell, "And for sticky fingers, you just have to lick them clean. Duh. It's like a treat after the peach." To demonstrate, the Corellian leaned against the frame of her bed as she happily sucked and licked clean the fingers, while trying to see what Qell's reaction was, fully knowing that the girl would probably look at her with a face like before. She wiggled the fingers showing how she had done such a good job freeing them from the sweet sticky nectar of her favorite fruit. A towel was near her bedside, and she wiped her hands and laughed. "Let's celebrate, to you, to me, to us, to everything!"​

 

[Qell Auraeli]

F L I G H T . A C A D E M Y . D O R M S
C O R U S C A N T
______________________________________________________________

Alex Locke
______________________________________________________________​

The K'paur hefted the bottle in her hand. Feigning an attempt to read the label while in reality she was really trying to distract herself from the nervousness that knotted her stomach. She had been fine until that realization, that true realization, that she was potentially about to lose the closest thing she had to family in less than forty eight hours. Were those gold flight wings really worth it? She hoped so. For years, her friendship with Alex had all but defined her in every way conceivable. Always having each others backs, through thick and thin, no matter what. She could barely remember what that Qell Auraeli was like before the diminutive blonde arrived on the scene.

The brunette took a swig directly from the bottle. Well, more gulp, really. Attempting to wash away the bitter taste of her impending loneliness and something else, yet only really achieving a mouthful of almost overly sweet wine. Floral hints, honeyed impression, creamy smooth lanolins. It wasn't half bad, so she knew it wasn't the wines fault.

That final note was her own guilt.

"Alex..." She began, the name hanging heavily in the air as she turned to face the Corellian only to pull up short as she other girl practically devour her own hands. And just like that the tension, while not gone and certainly not forgotten, was suddenly a touch more bearable.

"You're an absolute animal." Her nose wrinkled at her friend's complete lack of social graces, dark locks spilling freely around her shoulders as she gave a part dismissive, part despairing shake of her head. And she'd been worried about drinking from the bottle. "How we ever went to the same finishing school is beyond me."

The bottle produced another, somewhat smaller mouthful before being passed across. Waggling impatiently for Alex to reach out and take it. "Do me a favour and tell me you won't backwash, mhm? I know you will, but I'd like to at least keep up the pretense that's just overly expensive, knock-off wine I'm drinking."

 

[Alex Locke]

//: Academy Dorms //:
//: Coruscant //:
//: Qell Auraeli //:

​

Alex finished wiping her hand as she mused to herself, it was easier than thinking about the inevitable. As much as she wanted to pretend everything was going to be okay, she knew it wasn’t. Something continued to form in the pit of her stomach; she brushed it off as nerves for the upcoming assignments. Alex dropped the towel from her hands when Qell called her an animal, a foot quickly kicked the towel under the bed as she turned and sat down. “ME? An animal?”​

A hand rested against her small chest as she forced a laugh and a face showing her utterly feigned offense. She fell into the mocking Imperial accent as she crossed her legs and waved her index finger. “I think not, Lady Auraeli, I see you drinking straight from the bottle.” Her octave went up with the accusation, finishing with a laugh. Alexandria Locke was happy, and her source of happiness was her partner in crime. She was shy and collected, guarded, and never let anyone into her circle. A fear she had knowing the work her brother and cousin did, she was always reminded how much of a target she was. Still, Qell took her out of her shell and let the world see glimpses of her playfulness. ​

The laughter died for a moment as she grabbed the bottle from the offered hand. Would she fall backward? Would she become a shell of what she was now? It scared Alex more than the battlefield. She didn’t want to lose this part of her even if she felt she was always reaching and trying to keep stride with Qell. Losing Qell meant losing her favorite part of herself. Her lips touched the warmed bottle rip as she took a sip. It was a sweet wine, and Alex wondered if the K’paur had kept her in mind while shopping. ​

She took another sip and then offered the bottle back, the alcohol already starting to settle into her bloodstream as she knew it wouldn’t be long till she began to feel its effects. Unlike other Corellians, Alex didn’t metabolize alcohol as well. The poor girl thought about the beverage and was already intoxicated. She kept a smile on her face as she tilted her head and looked towards her friend. “I have an excuse, though. I’m Corellian - we’re smugglers and street rats.” Another laugh as she shook her head lightly. ​

“I’m happy we met at the time we did Qell, I don’t know what I would do without you.” Rolling her eyes, she sighed softly. “I’m going to miss you, I hope you know that.” The cat was out of the bag. Alex couldn’t dance around the bush much longer. It was already driving her insane. She wanted to know Qell felt the same, almost like reassuring that everything will be fine, and they will be placed together. Even though the odds were against them.​

 

[Qell Auraeli]

F L I G H T . A C A D E M Y . D O R M S
C O R U S C A N T
______________________________________________________________

Alex Locke
______________________________________________________________​

Playful tease or not, as always Qell couldn't resist grimacing at the reminder of her title. The Right Honorable Lady Qellian Auraeli of the House of Metara. She had always hated the way that that sounded. Hated the way it had made people look at her. Hated the way they looked at her when she failed to live up to the inane standard they applied to such an overinflated and pointless position. It was one of the primary reasons she had enlisted in the first place, the other...

She absently brought a hand up to trace the thin scars on her cheek before she caught the movement, attempting to disguise it by brushing some the more errant long locks of black hair that fell over that side of her face behind her ear. Forcing a smile on her features before Alex could catch on to the sudden dip in mood. Tonight wasn't about yesterday, nor was it really about tomorrow. It was about today. The here and now.

And right now, Lady Auraeli needed another drink and she needed her friend.

"Street rat? Puh-lease." She snorted as she accepted the bottle, giving Alex a playful half-shove on the shoulder as she did. "You're as street as the Queen of Naboo. You seem to forget I know exactly how rich your family is, little miss my-brother-is-a-decillionaire."

The swig of the bottle was ill-timed, Alex's sudden shift into the serious catching her off guard and causing her to almost choke and splutter. She was sure that was why she felt her eyes watering. No other reason. Auraeli's didn't do sentimentality. And yet the ache sudden ache in her chest felt a lot more painful than just a lungful of overly expensive wine.

"Alex..." She began when she had recovered enough to speak, chewing her bottom lip as she regarded the other girl. A girl she knew in a lot of ways better than she knew herself. A girl she had been fly or die with since they were little more than children, bumbling their way through an expensive academy, bonding over their mutual heritage and the apparent misfortune of having been shoved in a place they didn't quite belong. She held up a finger to forestall any further discussion, taking the opportunity to turn away and steal another swig from the bottle. And then another for good measure.

If she was about to open up, she would be damned if she was going to do it sober.

Finally she moved to pass the bottle over, yet continued to hold on to the neck tightly, making sure she had Alex's attention. She sure as hell wasn't going to repeat this twice. "You know, no matter where we end up, nothing is ever going to change right? We're..."

A myriad of emotions played out across her features as she tried to find the right word. They were, what? Family? That certainly wasn't a term she would use; she had never been able to assign more to that than a passing begrudging nod for the grace of semi-decent genes and a stipend that covered her schooling expenses. Friends certainly seemed to fall short as well, barely scratching the surface of what they had between them.

She shook her head, glancing away. Letting the bottle go as she finished lamely. "...We're going to be okay, yeah? We've always had each other's backs. No one, not even the GADF, is going to change that."

 

[Alex Locke]

//: Academy Dorms //:
//: Coruscant //:
//: Qell Auraeli //:

​

Alex felt the shove; the touch felt warm like it usually did from Qell as she fell back onto the bed. For a moment, she stared at the ceiling waiting for the other K'paur girl to make her response. Remaining back onto the bed, Alex leaned up, resting on her elbows as she watched Qell. She could read the thought process in the girl for the most part. Thoughts ran through her dark-haired friend, what the thoughts were, Alex had no idea, but they were there. ​

The air in the room changed, and Alex blamed herself; she had forced the moment to become serious with her comment about missing Qell. Why did she feel so compelled to let the girl know that she would miss her? Was it the reason for the pain she felt when she looked at the girl? The ache from before stabbed at the Corellian as she heard her name, blue eyes locked onto Qell's face, watching every movement. Alex found herself holding her breath, waiting to listen to what needed to be said. ​

Silence remained between them and whatever was floating about the room made the blonde's cheeks flush slightly. It was easy to blame it on the alcohol she had just consumed, while she felt the color move from her ears to the tip of her nose. Her heart started to race as she waited and watched the wheels turn in Qell's head. Finally, eyes were able to focus somewhere else, and that somewhere else was the bottle being shoved towards her. She sat up and grabbed the bottle, but Qell held on, and Alex couldn't help but to trail her eyes from the hand, gripping the bottle all the way up to Qell's stare. A soft gasp muffled by her hand as she pretended to wipe something from her lip escaped as Qell talked.​

Every word calmed the ache in her chest, only to make it sink into her stomach. Why did she feel this way? Everything was going to work out, just like Qell said. When was Qell ever wrong? Alex felt the corners of her lips widen, curling into a small smile. Hearing that things aren't going to change made her happy. She didn't want to think about the future; she wanted to stay here in this small dorm room with her favorite person. Qell knew her and vice versa. Things were comfortable and right between them. Alex knew she could find solace with Qell, and it was something she frequently reached out for. ​

To find someone like this was once in a lifetime. Alex felt the weight of the bottle in her hand as Qell finally let go. "I know, Qell. It's still scary, though." She couldn't look at the other girl when she spoke; the most comfortable distraction was the bottle in her hand. Taking a long swig of alcohol, she was able to try and organize her thoughts. It was better to have the drink to blame for anything she said. She gasped as she felt the sweet burn in the back of her throat, and she coughed into her closed fist. "It's just if we get separated, I won't get to see you every day - it would be the first time in a long time that I won't have you by my side." Her voice small as she spoke, the wine became instant comfort and a way for her to avoid what she wanted to do. ​

Another sip, and she nodded and started to hand the bottle back. "I know deep down that we're always going to have each other's back, but if we do get separated, wait for me? I'll find a way to get transferred and be back with you." Tears welled up in her eyes for a moment as she hiccuped and nodded. "Just-" She paused as the bottle found a place at the small table by her bedside as she stood up. Hands nervously pulled at the bottom of her shirt as she tried to find her words. "-stay safe till I can find you again or you can find me- Then everything will be back to normal, and we can have these kinds of nights again!" ​

Maybe it was the alcohol, but Alex bravely took a step forward and wrapped arms around Qell's waist, and gave her a tight hug. The fabric crumpled between fingers as the blonde buried her face into the space just under Qell's chin. Alex spoke, but her words lost against her friend's chest.​

 

[Qell Auraeli]

F L I G H T . A C A D E M Y . D O R M S
C O R U S C A N T
______________________________________________________________

Alex Locke
______________________________________________________________​

"I would have thought you would be sick of me of me by now." She joked feebly, trying to deflect away from the sea of emotions that swirled beneath the surface of her own skin. Some she recognized for what they were; old friends from her life before Alex. Yet others she couldn't even begin to lend a name, but then she had never been good with her own emotions. It had always given her an edge when it came to training. Cool, calm, collected in the face of adversity, it was practically her super power. Yet right now it felt like her biggest weakness.

She reached out, but her hand failed to cover the distance. Fingers grasping pitifully at empty air. The gap between them suddenly feeling like lightyears rather than a few feet. "Alex..."

The next words were cut off as the other girl abruptly closed that very same distance as if it was nothing, pulling Qell off guard as she was enveloped into yet another hug. More desperate and needy than the first and one she simply didn't have the strength or willpower to resist. Instead she found herself leaning into the embrace, wrapping her arms tightly around the shoulders and neck of the shorter girl as she burrowed her face into a mess of dirty blonde hair. The warmth and closeness alleviating the pain in her chest while paradoxically making it all the worse at the same time.

Her grip tightened.

Part of her wanted to remain that way forever, to let the simple physical act say the words she couldn't find, but she knew she would regret it if she didn't say... something. Anything. They had been through too much over the years to simply find themselves separated like this. The pain in her chest grew worse until it felt like her heart was imploding.

Yet it was either empty silence or empty words. Neither of them could predict what the future would bring or where it would send them. Neither of them could offer anything but hollow promises. The only thing she could say was...

With visible reluctance she extricated herself from the other girl's arms, taking a half step back and then a little bit more to give herself some necessary distance. Hands trailing up the girl's back to cup the blonde's face on either side, pulling it up so that they were face to face, her expression an unreadable mask that belied the pain and sadness in those dark eyes.

"I'm sorry." She leaned in, pressing her lips to her forehead. Holding there for what seemed like an eternity as she struggled to unload the next few words. Words that she had been wanting to say for weeks now, yet never found the strength. She closed her eyes tight as her vision blurred, breath hitching slightly as she forced herself to continue. "I know you didn't want to come here. I know... I know you didn't want to enlist. I knew then why you did. I should have stopped you. I meant to stop you. I just..."

She let out a ragged breath.

"I just didn't want to be alone."

And now you're paying for my weakness.

 

[Alex Locke]

//: Academy Dorms //:
//: Coruscant //:
//: Qell Auraeli //:

​

A warm feeling filled the smaller Corellian. They embraced, a feeling she never really felt herself wanting more than now. Weight shifted as she felt Qell melt into the embrace, and Alex had never felt happier. Emotions were a strange thing, especially when it came to her friendship with the K'paur. They were similar but had stark differences. Qell was confident, smart, and a natural leader; Alex was none of those things. She was quiet, reserved, and terrified of everything. It was easy to follow Qell's lead because she felt braver when she had the girl by her side. She filled a need that Alex wasn't quite aware of, just that it scared her to know that she would have to face the galaxy alone. ​

It scared her, but the embrace helped calm those fears for the time being. Alex tensed slightly as she felt Qell breaking the embrace, pulling them apart. The desire to hold on was strong, but Alex fought it, feeling that Qell needed the distance between them. Soft and concerned, Alex peered up at the taller girl's face, scanning it for any indication of what was coming next. Alex was already red; the way that Qell had said her name before the embrace lingered and echoed in her mind. She always did like hearing her name come from her best friend. ​

A surprise came over Alex as she blinked, hearing the start to the apology. Her face held gently but firm as the kiss against her forehead caught her further off guard. Something was happening, and Alex was more confused than she was before. Her lips moved, to say something, anything that would stop what was coming next. No sound came, and Qell's voice continued. Alex listened, trying to figure out something to say to make things better, but the sound of Qell's apology broke the Corellian. ​

It wasn't' a lie, Alex didn't' want to be here. She wanted to do something else, stay far away from the fighting. The conflict wasn't for her, and she was usually the first one to run for cover. She was under the impression that she had been able to hide it while enlisted, trained, and now graduated. Qell was her reason, and though it wasn't the best reason to join a war, it was all she needed to feel brave. ​

Alex felt guilty, wondering if it was evident that she didn't want to be here. She learned things and enjoyed it, so she had hoped it was enough to keep her fears hidden from Qell. For as long as she had known Qell, this was inevitable. Hands rested against Qell's as Alex laced their fingers gently. ​

Qell's reason for not stopping her was the reason why Alex had enlisted. There was an odd sense of comfort from the confession, and the blonde exhaled softly, holding back her own tears. She couldn't cry; if she did, it would only make things worse; she had to say something. ​

"Qell." Alex started as she moved her face slightly, comforting the hands more of her dearest and closest friend. "You wouldn't have been able to stop me. I didn't want to be alone either. Knowing that you'd be doing this without me - I couldn't let you do it alone." Thinking about Qell going to war alone, not having someone, or even finding someone else carved Alex's heart from her chest. Tears started to fall, tracing the silhouette of her face and running along the edge of where Qell was holding her face. Her voice cracking and whispering as she spoke. ​

"I would follow you any-anywhere Qell, I need you here with me as much as you want me to be with you. I know it's silly, but you make me braver, and I know I can do this because you're here." Alex smiled through the tears as she wondered why her heart raced so quickly. ​

"You're my best friend Qell, I couldn't let you have this adventure without me."​