Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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Judge my planet!

Please provide honest and constructive feedback on my submission before I make it official. The goal here is to improve it, not destroy it. Positive corrections are encouraged. If you want to offer destructive criticism, feel free not to post!
Images:

None as of yet. Would welcome some though!


Name: Tortuga system
Region: Unknown
System: Tortuga System
Suns: 1
Orbital Position: ??
Moons: None
System Features: Tortuga Asteroid belt
Coordinates: <The X,Y coordinates of the planet and its relative position in them according to the Galaxy Map>
Rotational Period: 48 hours
Orbital Period: 160
Class: Terrestrial
Diameter: 14,000 km
Atmosphere: 1
Climate: Tropical, hot, 100 Degrees Fahrenheit on average
Gravity: Standard
Primary Terrain: Sandy beaches, ocean, lush rainforests, sprawling seas, small agricultural clearings

Native Species: Human,
Immigrated Species: Bothan, Human, Rodian, Hutt, Terrantek, Rancor, Nexu

Primary Languages: Basic, Huttsee, Rodian
Government: Criminal Barony (Multiple)
Population: 500,000
Demonym: Torii​
Major Imports:
Food!
Bacta
Spice
Gold
Silver
Kolto
Starship parts
Weapons
Salvage
Major Exports:
Spice
Durasteel
Stolen Goods

  • Material:

  • Aedgan Crystals

  • Phrik

  • Amount: Medium

  • Intent and Reasoning: To give the fringe and criminal element of the galaxy a small amount of precious materials without needing extensive dev threads to procure. To also arm the small amount of Underground with some Unique weapons without the need to break character or story arc extensively.
Affiliation: Underground.
Major Locations:
Drunken Sailors Inn- A major Cantina/Club with a highly dangerous atmosphere. Lots of deals are brokered here. The number one destination if you need to find a place.
Rakka Shakka Talin: A castle like palace of the Rakka ffamily, a prominant Hutt barony that has a chokhold on trade taxes. Five stories high, heavily guarde and over a hundred acres large.
The Caves: A myriad network of cave that were made by old durasteel miners before the Pirates took over. A network that spans the planet underground. Down here you can find crystals a plenty, but you can slo find theives, brigands and legen has it Tarrenteks.
Regal Docking Yard: A huge huge airstrip attached to the worlds largest space port. control this and you control the most trade in the region. Currently in the hands of Rodian Cartels.
The Graveyard: A colossal city made of downed ships from Star destoryers that were scuttled to starfighters. The city is built around the worlds most valuable and guarded resource. The Phrik mines. The Hutt Barony and Rodian Cartels have been at war over it for years. Currently with the Hutt barony.

Culture:
The Tortuga system is named after the Pirate station Tortuga. The main economy of the system is warehouses and merchant companies which fence stolen goods. Ridden with pirates and lowlife the system is said to be an even greater hive of scum and villainy than Tatooine itself. The Merchant warehouses provide ample goods to those with the means to buy them as well as an easy place to sell less than reputable wares.

Tortuga is a self governed system with the merchant barons controlling the majority of the laws and regulations. After all what good are you illicit goods if you cannot sell them? The governing system uses it's ability to limit individuals trading rights and its various pirate crews and gangs to influence the behaviour of the populace and enforce regulations.

There is no set military on Tortuga as it is a mis-mosh of mad pirates, smugglers, exiles and desperadoes all intent on making their fortune. The Barons have private mercenaries that they have bought off for their protection, but the world is teeming with lowlife. As a result there is very little law, save trade regulations enforced by hired thugs. The system is largely self regulated, due to the fact that every citizen has a hand in its trade and is armed in some fashion.

Major exports are repackaged in neutral containers and sold to the galaxy at large under the charters of major companies acting as fronts. Most trade barons will buy or sell anything they can get their hands on, including spice and pother illicit wares. The smuggling trade is rampant here.

Another aspect of the economy here is the ship repair facilities. Many a pirate or smuggler might sustain damage. As such there are more shops than can count for vessel modification and repair. There are not any factories however.

Another of Tortuga systems economy is the durasteel ores which line her more dense rainforest regions. Buried deep within the earth it is mined by small merchant organizations and traded off to the larger companies to sell. Demographically this makes up ten percent of her trade with the other ninety percent being the resale of stolen or pirated goods and imports resold at a higher price.
The Major ports and mines of tortuga have been in flux. A war between Hutt baronies with pirate crews, and Rodian Cartels with smuggler and swoop gangs. The tunnels that run beneath her planet have been lost to time except by a few wary adventurers. These contain force crystals.
Additionally the gravyard, a city of scrapped ships and miner has been in flux as well. Currently owned by the local Hutt barony, whilst the Rodian Cartels are battling to get a cutt. The Phrik is never sold off-world but jealousy guarded to make bigger and better weapons and armor.

Technology: Tortuga system is quite technologically advanced,possessing through its trade routes all the trappings of your standard world
History:
Originally located at the outer edges of the galaxy the first inhabitants of Tortuga system were immigrants hoping to escape the gulag plague. The world lived in isolation for some time as the migrant human families reproduced and populated her shores and rainforests. After along while this changed however.

After its discovery by roving explorers Tortuga system was best upon by pirates and its cities and towns were raided frequently. The regressed humanoids were eventually overrun by the less than savory types. Seeing that the system was a far ways away fro authorities the pirates set up settlements of their own, eventually overwhelming the populace with their offspring.

As over ninety percent of the populace became the offspring of the pirate brigands.. Other forces came into play. Hutts and rodians migrated in roves, hoping to set up their own niche among the fabled system. Over time her location leaked and became less of a secret eventually leading way to other species to immigrate. By the time era of the dark harvest Hutt, Rodian and humanoid lived alike under powerful merchant conglomerates whom seized control of the ports with large sums or mercenaries.

The result is planet largely ruled by a few crime families and a haven to smugglers and pirates.
However after a civil war the planet was split between twin demographics. Rodians, smugglers and swoop gangs vs Hutts, Pirates and Citizens. A bloody battle has been ongoing to shift the scale of power in either factions favor.
Notable PCs: None so far
Intent: To create a unique planet not of canon that pirates, outlaws and pother fringe types may roam and explore. Also to make a new locale that centers around the RP's of that certain niche of character archetype, largely unaffiliated with the major factions of the galaxy. I.E. Not a subjugated planet but an entirely free one, where outside criminal cartels have no bearing.
 
Emberlene's Daughter, The Jedi Generalist
Off the bat it will need to have all fields filled in.

Secondly the phrik will require a dev thread if you are wanting to make weapons for the planet from it. Do note that the one judging it will be in charge and bring it up to the rest of the codex on whether it should be accepted or not. Restricted materials are supposed to be hard to get on worlds.

Third a force nexus requires a development thread as well. It will have to be expanded on why and how it came to exist.

The population seems larger then it needs or should be but that is personal preference.
 
[member="Matsu Ike"]

Well the jury is still out on location and the unfilled portions. I am open to suggestions.

I do understand that the Phrik and force nexus will require Dev threads. Will they need separate threads or can they all be wrapped up in the initial discovery thread?

This is a WIP which why I put it here rather than in the actual Codex Sub section. What suggestions or other comments could you provide me with?

Also please note the Phrik will be small, not enough to mass manufacture anything, just a few daggers or swords and a suit of armor or two. Nothing more. I was thinking of giving it out as a sort of prize item.
 
Emberlene's Daughter, The Jedi Generalist
[member="Vassara Raxis"]

The discovery thread could have both of them in it but it will mean the length should reflect it. I would say a discovery thread should be minimum 50 posts. If you are finding the planet, finding the nexus, finding the phrik. 150 in total but this is from my judgement.

As for location where it could go there are some nice and open locations on the map. In the unknown regions near mugg fallow and thexoll.
 
How does a rainforest planet with such a large population support itself food-wise with no food imports? Seems like there would be some issues in culture arising there. Clear cuttings forests and culture classes between rural and city could all be issues on such a planet.
 
Most of what I'd say has already been said but perhaps lowering the font size would make it easier to read.

I mean no disrespect by that, it's just a bit difficult on the eyes to read lots of large text.
 
[member="Anja Aj'Rou"]

[member="Delila Castillon"]

[member="Matsu Ike"]

[member="Valiens Nantaris"]

[member="Jarven Zexxel"]

Updated and cleaned up. Still needs more feedback.
 
Emberlene's Daughter, The Jedi Generalist
[member="Vassara Raxis"]

Durasteel is made from several materials on its own.

Meleenium was used in trace amounts.

The terrentek being created might be better as an immigrated species.

Other then that I am liking it. The discovery thread should be able to fill in the blanks or any questions.
 

Matreya

Well-Known Member
I've made two planets, one with a restricted metal being its main outsource. I would recommend performing the required mission item for said material, than simply link that when you do your sub. And to make a nexus, I would imagine a 30+ in depth (not just 4 lines) posts should cover that.

The diameter is a bit big, they tend to not allow those bigger than Earth but that isn't overtly large so you're good.

Neither Human nor Terentateks actually started their histories on this planet, so they would be Immigrants.

I would remove the bit about being a bigger scum haven then tattooine, because then you're out doing cannon without any effort. After a time and enough recognition, you can always come back and have that added in. If you want to say nearly on par with it, that's fine to!

I would rearrange the Culture. I see where explaining the economy is useful, but it seems all out of order for some reason. Like you had all these thoughts and just threw them onto the page.


All in all, a good planet. But it still needs work. Let me know if you need any help.

[member="Vassara Raxis"]
 
This will need to be clarified in full by [member="Valiens Nantaris"] but he is on vacation and it may need to wait until his return.

There is the potential that Phrik may not be allowed to be added to any more planets. We currently have 10 planets on the map containing it. The issue was under discussion though I'm not sure of the outcome.

Just as a heads up. Do good dev work and provide a good reason for it and it may not even be an issue.

[member="Vassara Raxis"]
 

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