Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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J'Saari

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Name: J'Saari

Designation: Sentient.
Homeworld: Endor.
Language: Jesinii ( The J'Saari Language ) ,Shyriiwook, Ewokese, And galactic standard.
Average Height for an Adult: 2.3 in stand.
Skin color: Grey, Black.
Hair color: White, Black, Grey, Light brown, Dark brown, Yellow, ( and some times when white get shades of blue )
Breathes: Type I and underwater.
Strengths:
(+) Incredible strength, running, climbing and improved senses.
(+) Highly intelligent.
(+/-) Uncontrollable rage mode.
(+) Claws
(+) Can breathe under water
(+) incredible reflexes
(-) Bad hygiene - Often drools uncontrollably
(-) Afraid to try new things - No explanation needed.
(-) Unable to see colors - Colorblind
(-) Hates to take orders - Find it difficult to take orders from people they do not like.
(-) Way too brave -Often gets them in dangerous situations, and gets them wounded.
(-)
Distinctions:
* Their often hairy medium length tail swings around all the time uncontrollably
* Thin white horns coming out of their long shoulders
* Long shoulders
* Always focuses on the person in a conversation with / Targetting or.. yeah you know the drill
* gill slits for breathing underwater
* cat like / dog like face.

* sabertooth jaw / teeth
Average Lifespan: 100 - 136 years
Races: None.
Estimated Population: 2.4 billion all around the world.
Diet: Meat, Nuts. Everything but fruits, fish and some vegetables. They're poisonous for them. Except for fish. They just have respect for'em.
Communication: Vocal, Written, Runes, Numbers.

Culture: The Culture of the J'Saari species is a little odd, but they don't think so. The J'Saari's Have long lived in cities and forms of Packs. They're especially known for their selling skills and Hunting skills. When a J'Saari visits another J'Saari family you show respect to them by Sniffing on their front door when you get in, and when you get out. That's good manners for the J'Saari species. War paint in the J'Saari community is a sign that you have someone in your family who have died. The J'Saari's often use Shyriiwook, Shistavanen and Ewokese names for their children. Because there are only 6 J'Saari names; Ki'tbun, J'irakh, K'onstabl, H'Raka M'yaan and Jok'ri. As you might know, the J'saaris are very obsessed with the ' in the name. Sometimes it means A. Not in Kit'bun, J'irakh, K'onstabl, or J'Saari. The Art of this Species is very boring and often quite dark. That is one more reason this species is not a fan of artwork. Now, how the J'saaris choose their leaders carefully. Veery carefully.Only the best of the best gets to be a Leader.
Technology level: High.
General Behaviour: Tho their somewhat scary appearance they are one of the most calm species in the Galaxy. But when it comes to fight and they enable their rage mode, They turn into their polar opposite. When calm, they will often be shy to strangers, and to friends and up they can give compliments here and then. When around other species, they always stay close to the pack / group / etc.
Pack behaviour: A pack, or a family always, ALWAYS. have a food tradition. A pack without a food tradition is no pack. Its just a group. A food tradition can be; Eat that food by that time then every year,or something.
History:
3943 BBY
The J'Saaris are found by Lakes around Endor. By this time, The J'Saaris are nothing but big fish with a horn on their foreheads.
3938 BBY
The Species has been observed as fish and are being hunted. They are now forced to move far out on the sea. Getting food is hard for them. They are forced to end out three and three to go hunting by the lakes. They often trick the Animals down by the water,and drown them.
3930 BBY
The J'Saaris now has gained the power of breathing on land. The J'Saaris can now breathe on both land and underwater
3919 BBY
The J'Saaris are starting to evolve. Getting bigger brains,growing teeth and legs.
3904 BBY
The J'Saaris has started growing hands and short tails, Population is increasing slowly.
3838 BBY The J'Saaris has evolved into beast like furry creatures with long sharp teeth,fur and improved senses.
Now lives on land, Still has the gill slits. Learned runes and made a language, Jesinii.
3836 BBY

J'Saaris has become more civilized, has made a Village in the Woods named; ``The Gorak.``
Are building houses and has gathered a ``king`` of the Village, Isve. Big, smart and strong.
3830 BBY
Isve dies in battle against a group of Ewoks, Defending another J'Saari because he was stealing supplies from the Ewoks. A new leader is chosen; Hûne.
3820 BBY
The J'Saaris brains has grown quite alot,They have become very civilized by this time. They have started building Small cliff houses by the Mountains and deep inside the Woods. they have built four small villages. They are working on two Pyramids and a Mine. between the Desert and the Village.
3817 BBY
The first Pyramid is built. They have renamed it after their first leader; Isve.
3814 BBY
Isve has introduced the people to Weapons, Space ships and that the Telescope. Finds out there are many Species around the Galaxy. Has started building ceveral Rocket ships.
3811 BBY
Hûne makes a radical change in the four Villages, Makes jobs, the trading system is done, Hûnes workers has made gold coins out of gold from their Mines. There is now made a politcal system, and Hûnes is now the President.
3809 BBY
The J'Saaris starts a Riot against Hûnes, Starts to craft Weapons and Armor from the Mines.
3806 BBY
The Riot has now turned into a Civil War. The Civil team has made a name for themselves; The Traditionals.
3778 BBY
The Long lasting war is over. The Traditionals and the Army is now devided into two Sides. The Ancient Dominion ( Traditionals) and The City of Pride.
3763 BBY
Many move away and immigrants in other Planets.

Notable player-Characters: None.
Intent: To become a strong, powerful wealthy species.
( NOT DONE )
 
Emberlene's Daughter, The Jedi Generalist
[member="Joker"]

Hello I shall be handling your submission.

First and foremost you need an intent, this above all determines and is essential to the judging process. Please fill it out

Second the history for them is very vague, you got the main points but I would like to see more. This is adding to the lore of the site and we want to have others who might be interested in making a character of this species to be able to RP them well.

Third the general behavior, how do they act when alone, with other species, what do they have as pack traditions? Please expand and give them more individual and pack behavior.

Fourth please explain their technology level 64% is not an answer

Fifth on their culture, please explain their social structure, their art, their leadership, any deities. This goes into adding to the lore of the site.

Sixth their population is very high on a planet with Gorax that are larger then anything and many other species. I would like this to be made lower please

Seventh bad hygiene and neophobia are not weaknesses. With all the strengths you have given them they are going to need some.

Eighth they have to many positives and strengths, please reduce these.

Ninth their ability to breath all atmosphere types and underwater is not explained. Type III most species need environmental suits, type II need masks, please either expand on how they do this or reduce it

Tenth @mention me when the changes are made and feel free to contact me if you have any questions.
 
Emberlene's Daughter, The Jedi Generalist
[member="Joker"]

I see some changes, but you have said nothing. Please tag me in a post in this thread when you are finished with your changes. Communication is important for getting your submission judged.

Credit to the Owl
 
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