Jonathan Langweilig

[Arc]

• Intent: A CEO figure head for The Langweilig Corporation.

• Image Credit: Source Here

• Role: Jonathan Langweilig is the corporate CEO of The Langweilig Corporation on the public eye side.

• Links: N/A

PHYSICAL INFORMATION
• Age: Mid 30's

• Force Sensitivity: Force Dead due to experiments done on him from the corporation labs

• Species: Reanimated undead Human

• Appearance: Jonathan Langweilig stands at 6'5'' slick back blonde hair. Pure white eyes with no pupils, average athletic build. He is always seen wearing black tactical BDU pants, black tactical shirt with a long black duster style coat over his clothes, as well as black sunglasses to hide his undead eyes

SOCIAL INFORMATION
• Name: Jonathan Langweilig

• Loyalties: The Langweilig Corporation

• Wealth: As the CEO to a major pharmaceutical and technology corporation he is rather wealthy.

• Notable Possessions: Jonathan doesn't take kindly to having much personal possessions aside from his Westar Blaster Pistols.

• Skills: Jonathan is fully trained in numerous styles of hand to hand combat and as well training in firearms. He's also a skilled business man and negotiater.

• Personality: Jonathan on the surface seems like a casual, relaxed, and calm business man that us friendly with the public. Under the surface he us a psychotic deranged mad man that is highly intelligent, he is a scientist for the corporation working on classified projects.

COMBAT INFORMATION
• Weapon of Choice: Westar 34 blaster pistol.

• Combat Function: Jonathan is better at hand to hand combat and melee fighting, it's a better idea to keep range on him when in combat, although he is trained with firearms he isn't exactly the best.

HISTORICAL INFORMATION
Jonathan Langweilig was a young man killed by his father for disobeying him. However a group of scientist and sith scholars and sorcerers created a serum that would reanimate the dead and was used on Jonathan. Jonathan was placed as the CEO of The Langweilig Corporation just as a figure head. He is actually a scientist working on classified projects. Not much is known about his life before his death. His father destroyed all evidence of his existence to hide the murder. Him being undead has currently no affects on him, but that may change with further testing, as a child he attended the best schools and studied hard despite having a drunk for a mother and an abusive father.

 

[Scherezade deWinter]

[member="Arc"] Under review

 

[Scherezade deWinter]

[member="Arc"]

Species: Reanimated undead Human

Does being reanimated and undead have any effects on him?

HISTORICAL INFORMATION Jonathan Langweilig was a young man killed by his father for disobeying him. However a group of scientist and sith scholars and sorcerers created a serum that would reanimate the dead and was used on Jonathan. Jonathan was placed as the CEO of The Langweilig Corporation just as a figure head. He is actually a scientist working on classified projects. Not much is known about his life before his death. His father destroyed all evidence of his existence to hide the murder.

This is very bare bones and a lot of things here need to be explained in further detail. Some guiding questions that might be answered are - What was is life like? Why did he kill him? Why was he reanimated? Why put an reanimated undead creature as CEO? How is an reanimated undead creature a scientist-CEO-combat expert all in one? It's perfectly fine if nothing or not much is known IC but this NPC needs a lot more fleshing out.

• Combat Function: Jonathan is better at hand to hand combat and melee fighting, it's a better idea to keep range on him when in combat, although he is trained with firearms he isn't exactly the best. He as well never wears armor.

Armor is not a weakness since that is a fashion/gear choice. Please add more weaknesses to balance him out for potential PvP situations.

Under the surface he us a psychotic deranged mad man that is highly intelligent.

This requires more fleshing out as well.

 

[Arc]

[member="Scherezade deWinter"]

Added a tiny bit more history, added the affects of his undead being, did not change his strength and weaknesses, as he has 1 each, if I have to add more weaknesses then I'll have to double his strengths for a 3 to 2 ratio

 

[Scherezade deWinter]

[member="Arc"]

Under the surface he us a psychotic deranged mad man that is highly intelligent, he is a scientist for the corporation working on classified projects.

This part still requires a better elaboration.

Combat Function: Jonathan is better at hand to hand combat and melee fighting, it's a better idea to keep range on him when in combat, although he is trained with firearms he isn't exactly the best.

You have edited this, but it still lacks weaknesses. Being a target in ranged is a matter of tactical positioning and not a character weakness. Saying that he is trained but not the best is not a weakness. Please add at least one actual weakness.

HISTORICAL INFORMATION
Jonathan Langweilig was a young man killed by his father for disobeying him. However a group of scientist and sith scholars and sorcerers created a serum that would reanimate the dead and was used on Jonathan. Jonathan was placed as the CEO of The Langweilig Corporation just as a figure head. He is actually a scientist working on classified projects. Not much is known about his life before his death. His father destroyed all evidence of his existence to hide the murder. Him being undead has currently no affects on him, but that may change with further testing, as a child he attended the best schools and studied hard despite having a drunk for a mother and an abusive father.

This is still incredibly bare bones, as you've only added one sentence about is background. Please take the time to think this out and flesh his history out a little bit more.

 

[Allyson Locke]

It has come to my attention that you have told the judge that you're going to let this sit. As a heads up, we do not allow work in progresses to sit in the judging area. This will be archived till you're ready to return to work on it. Thank you.

Please PM a codex RPJ or me for it to be unarchived. [member="Arc"]