It's A Hard Life

[Connor Harrison]

Commenor
Rachuk Sector

Things were going well.

Slowly but surely, the steps to righting wrongs were being taken. The first step was on Commenor and the Queen - [member="Lady Kay"] - whom Connor had fragmented history with. Yet, now it was a new era. A new galaxy meant new rules and Connor was taking to the stage a new man with a new outlook. It was time to seek the balance between Light and Dark, between what Jedi and Sith stood for, and how much needed to be encouraged or prevented to maintain the security of the galaxy and the harmony of the Force.

Otherwise, they could help destroy everything he had worked to create.

While learning what he could about Commenor, it's system and her allies and enemies, Connor was taking to explore the royal grounds and the city that surrounded it. A real utopia in many ways, but conflicted in others. The Light of the Force resonated in the peace of the citizens and freedom they felt, but the Dark Side was creeping in with a few stationed Stormtroopers around for the First Order embassy. Still - there was balance.

Connor crunched on a red apple as he walked, taking everything in without a care in the world.

The only care he had and was building up to facing was when he would brave a return to Silver Jedi space not far from here...

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

Over the course of time she had spent on Commenor, she had really only spent most of her time within the Palace with a few visits the Silver Jedi Embassy there. However, now Jairdain was no longer a part of the Silver Jedi. In a way, she missed those people, but her life had taken her away from them.

There were times when she went and visited the Embassy as it was free for that. To speak to the people there, but had yet to make any friends. Such was what happened. The people there were friendly and welcoming but didn't appear to want to be personal friends. That didn't matter, she sought more the peace than friends.

Only recently returned to Commenor, the prince she advised was still off on the training she couldn't provide for him. Those of the more martial aspects and things she didn't think she could learn. So for now they had parted ways and she was out of a job until he returned.

Letting out a sigh, Jairdain left the Embassy behind and headed out into the streets. While she was physically blind, her sight through the Force allowed her to move almost as well as somebody that could see. What she was unable to tell was if a person wasn't human. To her sight, all were equal. What differences she could see were emotions.

The way a person felt was clear to her. It helped in her position as advisor, allowed her to tell Bradshaw a great many things about those he dealt with.

Nearby was an open market and Jairdain headed that direction. If she was one to people to watch, she would have sat down on a bench and done just that. It wasn't something she could do, so she continued her walk down the street.

Some one caught her attention though. A presence in the Force of darkness, but it was in flux. Much like she had been in her life and she was drawn to approach this person.

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

Across one of the plazas, Connor stood under a tree and looked across to the imposing embassy of the First Order. If Commenor wanted to be seen as neutral, they couldn’t get much far on the spectrum from the First Order regime one end to the Silver Jedi peacekeepers on the other, located in another area of the city.

It wasn’t worth his time or his position to try work out the motivation for the First Order. He KNEW their motivation, and he was beyond playing the galactic game that many good and evil bodies did. They wanted to wipe out the Jedi and the ones who stood in their way, be it a government, a people or an entire system. What better place to park yourself in the side-lines than a neutral world near to the Core.

The white armour of the Stormtroopers could be seen on minimal patrol as red and black flags waved outside the front of the building. It was hard to gauge the feeling of the citizens going about their business. This was probably normal to them, but still he felt some unease. Stormtroopers were faceless enforcers of a regime who were xenophobic and brutal in their methods – they were bound to be an imposing force.

The Silver Jedi on the other hand, here to probably watch and observe and report from the shadows on the activity of Commeor, its Queen and the First Order. Anyone and anything involved with forces of evil was a target, and the Silver Jedi weren’t stupid. But nor was the Queen. Nothing was going to be given away to the Silver Jedi just because they were “guardians of peace and justice”.

Turning his head, he saw a figure walking towards him. He had that gut instinct someone was watching him. She was a woman, nothing shouting about her that made Connor wary bar her strong Force aura that seemed to look through him, and her clothing that was akin to that of a Commenor citizen.

"Has the Queen sent you to check what Connor Harrison is doing, making sure I’m not stoking a rebellion or anything. I can assure you, I’m not."

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

As she approached the man in flux, he took notice of her. Jairdain could almost feel his attention on her as she approached. They were across from the First Order Embassy, a government she had been in contact with twice. The first was when they invaded Ossus, it was then she finally broke a second time and returned to the Silvers as a broken sith. The next was after she recovered and had gained her position within Commenor as the advisor to Bradshaw, the Crown Prince. They had invited a select few to attend a fundraising ball and she had been there in the company of Lady Kay. Technically she had been in contact with the First Order three times, but that third time, she had been an enemy of them. She gave that last one no thought at the moment. If Jairdain had though, she might have realized the man she was about to speak to had been present there as well and they had almost met in that battle.

Time had changed them though, each in a different way. She probably would not have recognized him due to those changes. When he spoke, he asked if she had been sent by Kay to check up on him. He also provided his name and a couple reasons why he might be watched.

Shaking head at him, his past with the Jedi was unknown to her and this was the first time they had met.

"Well, Mister Connor Harrison, I am Jairdain Ismet and have not been sent by the queen to question you."

Tilting her head very slightly before she spoke again, if he could sense emotion like she did, then he would feel her genuine curiosity for him. From him, she felt he was wary, but that might go away as she answered him.

"I am curious though. There was a draw for me to come to you. Can you imagine why?"

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

"A pleasure, Jairdain Ismet."

The name rang a bell.

Someone. The name stuck out to him.

Somewhere. This woman was connected to more places of power than just Commenor.

"And, what can I say? I seem to attract all sorts of attention in my days – some welcome, most unwanted. I trust you will be welcome?"

With a little smile and chuckle, he looked back to the First Order embassy. The Force radiated from Jairdain stronger than he had expected, but it signified to him she was using it as a beacon, and the way she seemed to look through him could be that she was blind.

"So tell me, why do you feel drawn to me? Is it that intriguing confliction between Light and Dark you sense or something more…sinister?"

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

A sense of recognition as she said her name came from Connor, but there was none from her to him. As he continued to speak, there was certainly some humor in his words and voice. Understanding entirely what he meant about the attention, she nodded with a smile.

"That I can understand as well. Right now luckily I think I don't have anybody giving me unwanted attention. There is the hope mine will be welcome."

Some people were unsettled by her gaze, but he did not appear to be. When she spoke again, it was a simple answer to his question. He had asked two, but provided the answer with words she couldn't have said any better.

"I don't sense anything sinister from you now. What you have done in the past though has left its mark on you. You're not on that person now are you? The conflict between light and dark is something I have so yes, I feel that is what drew me to you. Something we appear to share."

As she spoke, her tone was honest and contained no deception. Little tilts of her head as she said light and dark accented the words.

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

She did not need sight to see, it seemed.

"Very true. It’s not the physical marks that hurt, it’s the mental ones." He smiled to himself and looked down. "It’s been a hard life. One with remorse and regret, and no reward."

He looked to the embassy for a moment longer, and turned away. Much of the remorse was driven by that very Faction.

"Still. You either wither and die and let it take over you, or you take over it and claim it, conquer it and face the future head on in a better frame of mind. That is what I am doing. Not governed by an Order, a group or a cult or Empire. I am me. That is enough for anyone to take or leave."

Connor folded his arms and rocked gently on his heels.

"So Jairdain. Where did your conflict come from? And are you in control of it now?"
[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

When he mentioned it wasn't the physical marks that hurt, but the mental ones, Jairdain couldn't help but nod in full agreement. She had no physical marks on her from her past for the most part, but many mental scars. All had been healed over the course of time and they were in her past, but they had left her marked. She would not dwell on them any longer or allow them to control her path.

One thing Jairdain did not know how to do was hide what she thought or felt. Everything showed clearly on her face if he could read her expression, he would see more of her then she even knew. Her agreement with his words and how she felt so much the same way.

"I am the same. Not ruled by any Order, group, empire or government. Following the Code of my people and the path they set me on many years ago. Some people want a person to follow what they believe, but that is not me. My path is my own and not everybody can follow me."

If Connor asked, she would elaborate, but for now she kept that part to herself. There was no need to get into a philosophical conversation in the middle of a sidewalk. He further asked where her conflict had come from. Somehow she felt he might understand far better than most other people, so going off that intuition, she answered him almost fully. Leaving out a great amount of fine detail, she cut her story very short.

"When I was a late teen, I joined the Silver Jedi. Ended up in a mental duel with a sith lord who then set out to capture me. I was held captive, deprived of the Force and eventually broken by this sith. As time passed, the little Jedi in me rebelled, resurfaced and I returned to the Silver's. Now though, I am quite sure of my path and feel I am in control.

"What brought yours on?​"

It seemed only fair that he answer the same question.

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

Seemed like the girl had walked a similar path to Connor, and that the Silver Jedi had a thing about damaging their own.

"I'm sorry to hear that. Yet despite what you say, you said you are in control. That is the most important, and it's good you feel you are."

Connor started a slow walk away from the First Order embassy, letting Jairdain fall in with him, hands behind his back and taking in the peaceful surroundings.

"We share a similar experience. I, too, was part of the Silver Jedi. One of the ones who helped lay the first stones of the temple on Voss. Spent my whole adult life in their service until I made Master and did my bit serving the galaxy under their banner. But I guess my destiny wasn't supposed to be a beacon of light. I lost my way, and I lost a few foundations that held me up."

Taking a peaceful walk wasn't the place to get into such deep, disturbing conversations so he kept it general.

"The recent years have been dark and murky for me, but I am emerging a better man. A man in control. One who knows his path." He looked at Jairdain and nodded. "Being in control is the biggest reward for coming out in one piece and knowing who you are, wouldn't you say?"

Maybe it was more than just a feeling in the Force that made the girl someone familiar to him. They had ties to the Silver Jedi, and that spoke volumes.

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

Expressing sympathy at what had happened to her, Jairdain felt it was real. There was a great amount of detail she had not told him. A previous capture separate from the sith and rescue by the Dominion. It was with them she had been knighted and after recovering from her captivity, she had returned to the Silver's on Voss.

When he said he had been one of the founding members of the Silver's helping to lay the foundations on Voss, she smiled. It was on Voss where she had joined them. A place she didn't want to leave. At the talk of foundations breaking away from him, she nodded in understanding.

Connor started to turn and walk, but it was clear he invited her to join him. Moving to walk next to him, she fell into step with him and listened to him continue. It did seem they had a great deal in common. Both had come and gone from the Silver's, but maybe not for the same reasons.

As he spoke of his recent years being dark and murky, she understood that as well. Her time with the sith was cloudy to her, that light in her had fought the entire time. Rebelling against the falsehoods Krest had told her when her mind and beliefs had been shattered. He said he had come out a better man, one that was in control and knew his path.

"You were one that helped lay the foundation there. I was one that helped pack them up and move, but never joined them on Kashyyyk. Instead my path lead me here. Here, I was advisor to the Crown Prince Bradshaw Ku. I guided and taught him what I felt he needed to know, but when he needed to learn more than I could teach him, I sent him off on a journey to discover who he was. In that time, I also needed a similar journey."

She fell silent for a moment to put her thoughts into words. They were spoken with a small sense of humor, but it was a fully true statement.

"Like an arborous, life seems to go in a circle and I find myself returning again to the Silver's."

As if she could see, Jairdain turned her head to appear to look at Connor. She was a natural empath and that was how she saw through the Force. Jairdain was also an open book in her expressions. If he looked, he would see some curiosity in her face that was there before she asked her question.

"Do you intend to reconnect with the Silver's?"

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

Names he didn't really know. Places he hadn't connected with. An Order that had been forgotten.

They had moved on. Connor hadn't. It showed who really needed who in this galaxy. And it certainly wasn't the Silvers needing anything to do with former Master Jedi Harrison. He looked to Jair and shrugged a little, then tried to speak, but thought for a moment. It was a good question. What would it mean if he did?

What doors would open if he even tried to set foot back in that part of his past again? What wounds would open? Which ghosts would resurface? Where would his destiny lie?

"I don't think there is a chance of that."

The answer was short, simple and stopped him over-thinking.

"Yet, you know the Heavenshields? I think if there is a way to reconnect, it would be through them. I have a lot to say to them, and there is nothing beyond me doing that until I know how it goes."

It was true. A meeting with the ones he had cursed with death and vowed to bring down would be a challenging one for all involved.

"Why are you going back to them? I know they've left Voss, but..." he hated being so curious, "...why do they refuse to wither and die? How have they survived so long?"

Maybe this wanderer, like Connor, would provide a way in.

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

If she had been asked yesterday if she expected to return to the Silver's her answer would have been similar to Connor's. Jairdain had never expected to return, but the Force worked in odd ways sometimes. He said he didn't think there was a chance of him reconnecting with them and she nodded. Appearing to look ahead, her vision in the Force was almost all aware of what was around them. Not suffering from only being able to look one direction, her attention could be anywhere. Right now it was on Connor, but she wasn't trying to intrude on him.

Before he voice his answer, she could sense some of the turmoil in him. Not so much indecision, but almost something akin to concern. Not knowing what he had done that took him away from Silver's, she didn't realize what sort of pain her question had caused.

When he asked if she knew the Heavenshields, it brought up a memory from her very early times with the Silver's. A time when she was young, innocent and wanted nothing to be more than a diplomat or consular. She had only the one brief interaction with them.

"I wouldn't say I know them very well, but I have met them."

Then her life had pretty much gone to hell. Connor was right about one thing, it's a hard life. Having walked different paths from each other, they shared that same pain. He brought her out of her memory and asked why she was returning to them. Making a rather broad gesture with her hands, she indicated the world around them.

"While my prince is off getting training I am unable to provide for him, I'm out of a job. While I could stay here, I would quickly run out of money to live on. So by returning to the Silver's I'll have a roof over my head and something to keep me busy. They helped me before when I was recovering from being captive of the sith. Grounded me and brought me back to the path I am meant to be on. I might not be as light as I was, but I am far from the evil I had become. So there is thanks in me for that help."

He further asked why they refused to wither away and die. The answer she came up with brought a half smile on her face and she actually turned her head again to him before answering.

"As long as there is darkness to combat, they will always be there. Maybe not as great army or warriors of light, but I don't see them fading away into nothing like the Sith want them to. The dark can't survive without the light and the same can be said about the light. They have survived this long because there will always be people to come to their banner and fight the dark."

The walk was nice along with the weather. Even if she was out of position for now, she was alive to enjoy this day and the company of this near stranger. One she was connected with through their past with the Silver's.

"If you're not going to reconnect and I don't mean join them again or anything like that, what are you going to do?"

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

"You’ve been busy. Looking out for Crown Princes’, travelling here and there, and looking for a place in a Jedi Order." Connor walked across a stretch of the plaza to a water feature, and sat on the edge on the warm white stones surrounding it. "At least you know where your head is at."

Her question was a good one, and while a simple answer could be given, it wouldn’t be a very fulfilling one. Taking a moment to think, he hummed loudly and tapped his fingers together.

"You speak truth. We need the dark, and the light. Without the other, one will fade away and then there will be chaos. You just need to make sure those who are true to the cause they follow are ones pure of heart and mind – it only takes one to abuse or misinterpret their ideals and it can tip the balance. Then you have a galaxy at war, and that is no good for anyone. As for the part I play? Who knows."

He invited her sit to sit beside him.

"I think my journey with the Silver Jedi ended when I was cast out by Thurion. I have lost touch with them, and their ideas and merits. I agree with what you say about them being survivors, and I respect their resolve after fleeing Voss. A brave move, looking at it. They are seeking balance between those who follow the Dark or are led by their disciples, like the Confederacy, but also building strength with the Light such as the Republic I hear is growing again and also sects within the Free Worlds."

Nothing was simple anymore.

"As one who has survived both the Light and Dark in my life, I feel my place is now right here. In the middle. To survive, to help, to push others on and lead them, and remove the ones who threaten everything we work hard to preserve. I’ve spent a lifetime serving others. Now I need to see if I can serve myself, and the Force itself who never judges or puts expectation on you."

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

When Connor used a plural form of prince, Jairdain let out laugh and shook her head holding up a hand in denial.

"There is only one prince I advise. Don't think I could handle more than that."

That place with the Jedi had almost always been there. She was the one that had lost her path and left them. As she had said earlier, her life was like a circle with them. Where her life was going and if she would remain with them in end was still in question, but for now it was where she belonged.

Accepting the spot next to him, she sat facing Connor. Even if she couldn't see him exactly, she could still give him her attention. Folding her legs under her, she sat in a lotus style position and he should feel through the Force he had that focus. Not one to hide what she thought or felt very well, he might be able to tell how content she felt at the moment.

What he said brought her some thought. He spoke of purity, but there were many including herself that were far from pure. Gathering what he had told her of his past in general, he was not pure either. Questioning what his part was, Jairdain nodded. Bringing up the Confederacy, she had met with some of them before. Even taught one of their members a couple Force skills.

"I also feel my place is in the middle. Though I certainly lean more to the light. No longer do I follow the Jedi or Sith Codes. What I do is of my people. The last of my kind. There are no others alive I have met. Only people can judge you, but I will not do that. Everybody is equal to me. What do you want to accomplish for yourself?"

Tilting her head, he would know she was really curious. Giving him time to answer before she continued, Jairdain would answer her own question.

"Myself, I want to make sure my prince is what he supposed to be. So I still live a life of servitude in a way. He will eventually lead Commenor and I hope to stay with them when he returns. If not, then I guess I'll find a new path and my own happiness."

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

Connor looked down at his natural hand and cybernetic one, and made a small steeple with the fingers. He was listening to Jairdain intently, but what she said pulled on strings of his past thoughts and ideals, and how it now moulded into his future.

"That sounds a good plan," he said, still looking down. "You seem to know that by serving the Jedi or Sith codes that seem to dictate how a galaxy and people should be run, you get nowhere. They both have strengths and weaknesses, sure, I don’t question them, but the galaxy is far bigger and can give more than any of them."

He began to tap the fingers slowly. It was like a wonderfully bitter reminder of the Light and Dark within him, fusing to make one less than perfect but fully functional specimen.

"I should know where my future lies, but I don’t. A few years ago I did. I thought I’d either be leading the Silver Jedi side by side with the Heavenshields into whatever path they followed. Then, it collapsed. I was twisted and bitter and infected. Difference now is I have accepted my flaws, and I understand them but want to use them to serve me and nobody else. I’m not a pawn to play in someone’s bigger game. I think I have enough experience and ideas and skill to help those I see fit or if they need my hand in keeping balance between the light and dark."

Now he finally looked to her, still watching him.

"I’d love to know where I will be this time in a year, but part of me is worried I’ll either be exactly in the same place or I’ll be dead. And what a pointless life I would have lived if that’s the outcome."

Time to try shift the discussion.

"Anyway, let’s not get too morbid. Seems the Force had plans for us bringing us together like this. I think, in time, we could help each other with our ideas and influencing and guiding others. Are you based on Commenor, or are you a…wanderer like me?"

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

Agreeing with his observation about the two different Codes, Jairdain nodded. There were strengths and weaknesses in each code, very likely even her own. In walking a more neutral path and having touched both light and dark, she incorporated parts of each code and made her own.

As Connor answered her, she wore a bit of a smile. While a few years ago, she did not have plans or the intention to lead the Silver's, she had the dream to be a consular. In a way that goal had come about as the advisor to the prince. In mentioning he had accepted his flaws, she had done the same with herself. Learned how to cope and deal with them.

He said he was nobody's pawn to be used however they saw fit, but his own person. The conviction she felt was great.

"You will make your own path and help others to make theirs. In the past when I was unsure of my path, I had help guiding me and I didn't face it alone. The Silver's helped me then even if my path isn't of their code, they still welcome me."

Knowing the future was ​not something set in stone, but in sand, Jairdain was sometimes able to see a future path of a person. The skill would come and go, very rarely did she control it. When he mentioned he would like to know where he would be in a year, one of the many paths that could happened opened up to him. One thing she was unable to see were paths for herself. If she was involved in his future, Jairdain would not know now.

"You will be a man in motion. Maybe not on the move, but you will be busy. Now will you be alone. I can't see if it is family, friends, students or something else entirely, but you will have company and purpose. The Force does things for a reason, so yes there was purpose for our meeting today. I am now a wanderer since the prince is off on his own and I am without a job. My home here was in the palace."

What the future held for her was unknown, but her intuition told her Connor held a place in it. One door on Commenor was closing and another opening in front of her. Perhaps the Force had guided them together for this purpose. Time would tell.

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

Looking ahead to the future had never been something Connor had done himself, or investigated the practice of doing so. While he understood the Force, he felt it a step too far to see the future. Or maybe it was just denial in wanting to see ahead. He looked at Jairdain with a hint of humour in his eyes, not knowing how to react to what she was saying.

Whatever she said, she had nothing but self-belief in her words and he respected that.

"Well, that doesn’t sound too bad compared to what I’ve been through. I could have used you a few years ago to warn me of what was to come. And it’s funny, you’re the second person to call me a wanderer in recent days. I’ll have to look at becoming a hermit."

He laughed and rubbed the back of his neck.

Connor looked down at his natural hand and cybernetic one, and made a small steeple with the fingers. He was listening to Jairdain intently, but what she said pulled on strings of his past thoughts and ideals, and how it now moulded into his future.

"Purpose is always good, I’d like to have that. Company isn’t something I’ve managed to stick with, one way or another. I’d like to try fix that too one time. Purpose and company. I don’t think you can ask for much more in the grand scheme of things."

Thoughts were now dripping into his mind, and he was daydreaming a little. Where WOULD he be? What company WOULD he keep? How WOULD he have purpose and to whom or what?

"Is that some Force sight you have or simply you can see things in your mind as clear as day? Can you focus on yourself – see your own path or…is that not how it works?"

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

Having a small chuckle when she felt Connor's little humor at what she said, she smiled at him. Not a large or toothy smile, but one that was true and connected to that sense coming from him.

"You are the one that called yourself a wanderer, not me. With only having a general idea of your past, I think I understand exactly what you mean when you say that. Honestly, just basing this observation off of knowing you for such a short time, I don't think you could be a hermit. I'm more likely to become one than you."

In another way, he and Jairdain had something in common. The ability to keep regular company or inability to keep it.

"I think I've learned the company we keep comes and goes in a cycle. Much like me with the Silver's. This is third time returning to them. Two of them were returns from captivity and if those had not happened, I wouldn't have left in the first place. The fact I was drawn away though means I had to return. Now that I think about it though, perhaps the Force guided us together so perhaps that wandering isn't going to be alone."

Falling silent for a few moments, what she had just said actually penetrated her mind. While she remained outwardly calm, a slight color may have come to cheeks as she thought about what those words implied.

"I did not mean to sound so forward..."

Hopefully it wouldn't be thought of as such, but on the chance it was, Jairdain felt the need to get the apology out there. Connor had asked if what she had Force Sight or what skill it was she had and if she could see anything for herself.

"When on Voss, I went through the Mystic Trials there. They granted me the ability to have visions now and then. More I get the idea what is going to happen and have to put those into words. Seeing isn't exactly a strong suit of mine."

Letting a breath out of her nose, not a snort, but it had humor in it. Shaking her head before answering his last question, her elbows rested on her knees and she lowered her hands. Maybe it was an invitation for him to take a hold, but it wasn't something she gave conscience thought to. Much like her previous words.

"I do not see myself in my visions. Not sure why, but never questioned it."

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

With a little exaggeration in his movement, he placed his hand on his chin and nodded as if in deep thought.

"So the Force pulls us together to wander back to…the Silver Jedi? If you have a vision about me taking over the Order one day and tweaking Silver to Grey, then I’ll be interested. My plan to rule the Jedi could yet come true…"

Then he diffused it all with a grin and a wave of the hand.

"I’m joking, forgive me. But, don’t think I’m mocking you, not at all. I do not doubt what you see, and just because I don’t understand it, doesn’t mean I don’t respect it, or you. Thank you for sharing that. And no, you weren’t forward or anything at all."

At least both were relaxed, and while he didn’t want to be…forward himself…he was curious about her situation and didn’t want there to be any lingering questions un-asked. There was never a harm in asking an innocent question in his mind.

"Have you always been blind, as far as physically, I mean? Safe to say if I hadn’t spoken to you, I would never have really guessed."

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

She may not have seen the physical motions Connor made, but she was aware of the emotions through the Force. What she had in her vision was very broad and could be interpreted different ways. So maybe he was right in what he said in his joke. Neither one of them actually believed that to be the case though.

Taking no offense at his words, she waved a hand as he apologized to her and shook her head. As he went on, he said she had not been forward at all and a breath was let out she didn't know she had been holding.

In asking about her being blind, her attention went to her hands for a moment before returning to Connor. Jairdain was aware she could have implants or cybernetics given that allowed her to see. However, her sight was unique and it allowed her to see a person in almost far greater detail than somebody with vision. People hid their emotions usually behind facial and body expressions. She saw beyond those and could read what they felt.

"I have always been physically blind, but the Force granted me the ability to see. What I see is essentially the emotions of what is around me. Everything has them. Including what you might see as lifeless, like the ground. What I might miss there though are slight changes in how level it is. Sometimes means walking on stairs very interesting."

As she spoke a small glimpse of her humor would be noticed. When she had joined the Silver's originally it was something she lacked. Jairdain had been a zealot for the light, a little, blind warrior. All that changed after her capture by Krest. The man that had broken her, tore down her beliefs and guided her in what it meant to be sith. Even then though, deep inside she knew that wasn't what she was supposed to be. Now instead of being a pure beacon of light or dark, she was what she had grown up. A woman that accepted her flaws and faults, she used what she had to the best of her ability and held very little fear.

"It can be a weakness. If the Force is taken away from me, I become nothing more than a simple, blind human."

In speaking of what was a weakness, it made her wonder what his greatest was. Not giving voice to the question, he may pick up the curiosity if he was at all empathic.

[member="Connor Harrison"]