Private I Won't Give Up On You

[Sakadi Marathi Sinvala]

The air was dry, sun harsh and salt under her feet hot. In other words, Ingo had the perfect climate for training. It reminded her a bit of Ryloth, although far more pleasant. No slavery, dark witches or anything else that might've required her attention. The feeling of isolation and lack of distractions this place offered was great. For the past few months, she had witnessed battle after battle. Anzat, Voss, Thustra, Dantooine, Tol Amn... The Force had kept her busy. But she couldn't afford to take a break. No Jedi ever could, and no Jedi ever should. That was why today was so important. There was someone who needed to get back in shape. And it was her responsibility to make sure that would happen.

Her Padawan, Mi'la Undari, had been away from the field for far too long. Her torture at the hands of the Sith had deeply scarred the young Twi'lek woman, but Sakadi did not believe her to be beyond recovery. She had so valiantly resisted the Sith for weeks. There was no way a mind like that couldn't recover. All the Twi'lek needed, was confidence and purpose. She needed to find herself.

The Jedi Master's feet shifted in the salt as she turned. Her presence resonated through the Force, transforming the crater in a brilliant beacon of Light. If Mi'la had not fully rejected the Force, she would most definitely be able to locate her. And if she did? Well, she would have quite a hard time...​

 

[Mi'la Undari]

It was a difficult task to be truthful, one that Mi'la wasn't sure she could accomplish. The force had never quite come back to her, not in a way that she could use it. On Voss though, she felt it, for the first time in....perhaps weeks, the sensation being akin to when she had first touched it.

It was probably only a matter of time before Sakadi would seek to test her power, something that Mi'la had been dreading for a time. She didn't think it was so much as confidence than it was that her connection was merely weakened, like a muscle that had been simply destroyed due to her dependence on it. When Malevolum had gotten her hands on her, the Twi'lek retreated into the Force to protect herself, though that process had been painful even then. For a time, Mi'la had thought that she had lost the ability forever, but she had felt something on Voss, the Force was still with her. She just had no idea on how to grasp it once more.

When Sakadi had posed this quest to her, at first the Twi'lek was uncertain on how to go about it. Finding her master would prove difficult in and of itself, especially without the power to call upon. While it would have taken even a padawan moments to begin to search, it took Mi'la several minutes. It wasn't until she began to focus on the thought of Sakadi that she managed to feel a pull, almost an instinct that drew the Twi'lek towards her. From these feelings, she could nearly see where her mentor stood, feel the rough ground on which she walked, and with that sense, Mi'la had a destination in mind.

Piloting her star fighter towards the sensation she felt, Mi'la's ship would toss up several clouds of sand and salt as it settled down; though the Twi'lek made sure that her mentor wouldn't be at the forefront of the cloud that followed her landing. Clad in her jedi attire, Mi'la climbed out from her ship, taking in the harsh heat that reminded her of her homeworld; just without the oppressive slavery. Her posture was one of uncertainty, as the padawan had struggled with the idea of even being worthy of serving under Sakadi; an idea that had seemed to be ever bit as true as the first day it crossed her mind. As she proceeded towards Sakadi, her footsteps being pressed into the salt as she proceeded, the Twi'lek came to a stop several feet from her mentor, giving a short bow of respect as she did so. "Master Sakadi, I came as you requested." She began, a lump forming in her throat as she fixed her eyes on the woman. She had dreaded this talk for some time, but it was something she couldn't escape. "Was...this concerning my future as your padawan?"

The awnser that would follow would determine the rest of Mi'la's future within the order, a future that the young Twi'lek was not at all confident in.

Sakadi Marathi Sinvala

 

[Sakadi Marathi Sinvala]

Mi'la Undari​

Her ears perked up when she finally felt the faint presence of her Padawan approaching through the Force. It was faint, almost unnoticeable to those Force sensitives who hadn't met her before. In a way it reminded of her the Sephi Dominate's Empress, who, after extensive research from the Master's part, appeared to be Force Dead. But there was a difference. In case of the former, it was like approaching a house with its door forced shut. But the latter was a house with no door at all. While she was unable to enter both houses, she could at least knock on the former's door.

"Hello Mi'la." The Jedi Master began, a warm but worn smile washing over her features. "Concerning your future as my Padawan, you say..." She brought a finger to her chin as her gaze shifted to the bright blue sky. "Yes, I think it is." She admitted, now calmly studying the apprentice before her. "Tell me, if you were in my position, what decisions would you make?" She wondered how the Twi'lek would answer. Despite their pairing as Master and Padawan, she knew surprisingly little about the young woman.​

 

[Mi'la Undari]

Coming to a halt at the words of her master, Mi'la bowed her head towards her mentor, her hands clasped together, as concern broke out across her face. Mi'la was no stranger to adversity, in fact she was rather used to it during her time in slavery. This however, was different. The Twi'lek had just felt off, unbalanced, and frankly she just hadn't felt herself since her torture on Vjun. Her saber skills had improved if nothing else, but her force power was fleeting if nothing else. She had managed to stalemate another Darth on Onderon without her force power, but truthfully she only lived because she had talked the man down.

Her luck couldn't last forever, and she knew that. As Sakadi asked what Mi'la would do in her position, the Twi'lek was uncertain. Mi'la herself found there to be two options. One, leave the order and try to make it as a combat pilot. Second, was to try in vain to get back to how she was in the force, though how she could go about that the padawan didn't know. Taking in a breath, Mi'la turned away from her master, looking back to her starfighter as she formulated her thoughts. Sakadi would feel the worries and concerns of the woman, akin to following a rushing river of anxiety, before Mi'la began to work it down until it became a stream of certainty. When this was done, Mi'la turned back to the woman, and would give her awnser. "I want to be a jedi, Sakadi. I want to grow strong and wise, and be able to bring light into this dark galaxy. But I feel lost, uncertain, and adrift." Her head dipped, shame coming down upon her like a waterfall, though Mi'la did not stop her speech. "It feels like I have weights dragging me down, keeping me from reaching out, from using my power, and I have to struggle in vain just to even feel the force again."

Her hands part, her cybernetic arm gripping her remaining organic limb, and squeezing it. "The thought has crossed my mind that perhaps I'm drowning in sorrow and my failings, and mentally stopping myself from recovering. In this case master, I don't know how to overcome that failing. I tried on my own to learn this, to overcome it with my own determination, and I have nothing to show." Bowing once more, Mi'la would say the words she hated to say aloud. "Master, I need your help. I'm not read to give up on this."

Sakadi Marathi Sinvala

 

[Sakadi Marathi Sinvala]

Mi'la Undari​

Sakadi took some time to let Mi'la's words sink in. She was clearly at the end of the line, but she still had the spirit. That was good. "Well, if you feel like you're drowning, I would suggest that you learn how to swim." She mused, while she slowly opened herself up to the flow of the Living Force. What would come next would be unpleasant for both of them, but even she recognized that some matter required brute force. "Well, then our next step is obvious, isn't it?" She would cast one final warm smile in her Padawan's direction. "We throw you into the deep."

Without giving Mi'la a chance to comprehend what she meant by it, the Jedi Master reached out. With a sweeping motion of her arm, she unleashed a thundering wave of telekinetic energy that kicked up salt and dust alike. She hoped that it would throw her Padawan back a couple of meters, while also taking away the visibility in their naturally formed arena.

A second, powerful ripple moved through the Force as she gestured with her hand. It was a precaution, concealed by the storm of salt, sand and dust that irritated unprotected eyes. All that remained visible, was the ignition of a bright silver blade.

"I will not hold back, Mi'la Undari. Good luck."​

 

[Mi'la Undari]

"Well, if you feel like you're drowning, I would suggest that you learn how to swim."

The words of her master rang out more as a warning than a word of advice, something that made Mi'la feel a tad uneasy. Her head raised, eyes curious as to what Sakadi had in mind, though what ever the Jedi Master had in mind, Mi'la very much doubted it would involve peaceful meditation. Physical exertion? Extended mind melding techniques, perhaps returning the the basics of telepathy? No, all of those attempts had been proven useless. Whatever Sakadi had in store wouldn't be so gentle in approach. A small part of the Twi'lek began to feel concern start to grip at her soul, wondering if she perhaps had been living as a failure for too long.


"Well, then our next step is obvious, isn't it?" A warm smile was cast Mi'la's way, as the Twi'lek straightened her posture, a clear display of concern was etched across her face, wondering what her master would say next. "We throw you into the deep." Whatever that entailed, it couldn't be a pleasant experience. Yet, Mi'la would not run, not again. If she was to be worthy of her position as a jedi, she would stand and take whatever punishment was dealt upon her. The Twi'lek moved out of her bow, taking up something a kin to a fighting pose, when the air around her 'popped'. Sand, salt, and dirt kicked up, and Mi'la felt her feet give out from under her. A force not unlike what she had felt on Yavin smashed into her, knocking her back, sending her stumbling as she tried to right herself, only to nearly sink in the vibrating sand and salt flats. She made the mistake of opening her eyes, still struggling to her bearings, and felt the sting of salt as punishment, hissing, she tried to blink the burning irritant away, but to no avail.

A second gust struck, the sand and salt shrouding the battlefield now, as the faint hum of a lightsaber indicated that the trial had started, only to be quickly drowned out by the roaring sand storm around the pair.

"I will not hold back, Mi'la Undari. Good luck."

Her masters voice was the final warning she would receive, as the padawan's hands found her hilts, and ignited both blades. One held to the front, the other behind. Though still blinded by the salt in her eyes, Mi'la would not back down. Deprived of the force, and limited to only her blades, the Twi'lek was faced with only three options. Die at the hands of her master, renounce herself from the jedi order, or try and reconnect with the force. In this moment, option one seemed to be the most likely outcome, but that wouldn't stop her from giving up. If not for the sand storm rolling across her at the moment, she might have tried to voice some sort of declaration. Perhaps some vain statement to bolster her shrinking confidence. Not like it would truly matter in this moment. For right now, it was only her and Sakadi. This wasn't a test of will power. This was a test of character. Either Mi'la overcame whatever was blocking her force connection, or she would die where she stood. There was no other way around it.

Sliding her feet forward, Mi'la's brow furrowed, the Twi'lek sliding herself forward, feeling small fragments of molten glass knocking into her attire, though leaving her relatively unmarred. She tried to slow her breathing, trying to find her calm center, and feel that sensation she had felt before. It had almost felt like how it had been before, when the Force worked through her, a sensation she had most certainly felt on Voss, and just now when she sought out her master on this world. But still, nothing calm. Standing within the center of a sand storm, a storm of similar magnitude began to swell within the padawan, despite her best attempts to the contrary.

Sakadi Marathi Sinvala