I Turn At Last To Paths That Lead Home

[Lief]

Their Grove​

Midvinter​

​

Once, long ago, when the two were much younger, Mysa and Théo ventured out into the wilds of Midvinter before dawn had broken over the land. Hitching a ride on the back of a horse and cart, covered in fish and guts, they had come upon a most sacred place filled with Vhaanir. When the Vinterbound marched upon their home it was to these same woods that the pair ventured, seeking out the Gods who resided there and pleading for their assistance in maintaining the future of their people.

Not since the sun had set on Dawnbringer's life had she returned.

So much had happened to keep her from this place, in fact she hadn't been spotted on Midvinter in many years. Not since before Kära took her leave and returned to Aurum... While the Queen was back now, the toddler she had taken had returned a boy, and now Thrand was almost a man in his own right. Mysa had missed so much, yet she had nothing to show for it. Just a hollow emptiness which lay within.

She had not been herself in years. Not since her childhood, not since she could frolic with Théo and Darien... All that had changed, of course, when she was pulled away from the family who had raised her, who had brought her into their home with open arms, who had gifted her with a sister and a brother, and a place.

Snow crunched under her boots, a far cry from the sandy desert dunes she had known on Deneba, and each step she took as she came into their spot felt like layers of dead weight had lifted, carried away on the wind by Odiir, until just that child remained. The one who had been in awe of this place, of the King-turned-Grandpa, of the Gods who kept them safe.

Nobody had been informed of her return. She had kept her ship away from the line of sight of Thainbroek, come straight to this spot unannounced... Only one message had been sent, to the only person she wanted to see in the entire Galaxy.

And all it had was one word.

Belawir.

Hopefully he would understand.

... He had to.

 

[Théodred Heavenshield]

The wind kicked up a soft layer of powered snow swirling it through the air, the skies in the Northmark forever grey it seemed, and laden with the stuff. The people in this part of Midvinter more stocky and hardy to the conditions, they had to be to survive all the way up here. It was different, the culture basically the same they were more ‘backward’ for want of a better word, they had little by way of possessions and the reason obvious enough, for they were ever on the move and having many things to pack did not lend for this. They were hunters mainly, trading pelts for food or weapons, even the women as their part in their society was far greater in positions of authority unlike the Valkyri to the south of the border. The women had just as much say in matters of the clans, and some were their leaders.

Théo had been spending time up in these parts, getting to know the place and its people, he had been in a small village tucked away in a valley below the town called Falls of Crystal. This area of Midvinter was fascinating, with the hunters in the valley and the more sophisticated, artisans, living high in the mountains in a place surrounded by the cascading waters so clear and pure he could see why they were named as such. But both groups of the Valkyri relied on each other, and had developed this working relationship over thousands of years.

His face now covers in the powdered snow, the wind settling it on his long black hair and beard which he still sported, it was wet and the snow melted with his body heat, in fact his whole body felt damp and cold, yet his ancestral blood pumped hard through his chest and Théo never left so alive. As his feet ploughed through the deep snow toward his ship, his shoulder burdened with several pelts he had acquired through trade in the valley, they would be taken to Thainbroek to the tanners, made into coats for Ylva and Boo, and one can never have enough coats on Midvinter.

The bundle of furs thumped to the floor of his ship held together with leather strapping, it was like walking into the hearth room at the Grand Hall and his cheeks flushed red with the sudden heat. He pulled of his black gloves as he made his way to the cockpit and began the take-off cycle of the engines. They take a little bit longer to warm here. It was only then he noticed the flashing button on the comm panel.

The message sent was from an unknown source, an identity of a ship he did not know, no name, nothing, save for one word. Belawir. There was not many people that knew of this name or what it meant to Théo, in fact outside of his father, Mysa knew. It had to have been her that sent this message and he knew exactly where to find her.

The Tarly lifted lightly off the snow and turned south and would touch down near the forest in which Mysa and he had first seen the sacred creatures of the Gods. She was back home after all these years of wondering the galaxy in search of what he did not know but that did not matter to him, Mysa was home and that was it. The all too familiar forest laid before him as the ramp lowered, the scent of pine filled is senses, and it was warmer here in the Crownlands. There was someone else here too, waiting. And he smiled.

[member="Mysa Snowstrider"]​

 

[Lief]

She did not dare believe he had arrived.

Though she could feel a shift in the air, though she sensed the ship descend and the person disembark away from the grove itself, the very notion of him appearing at her request after years apart filled her with uncertainty. She had forsaken their family for a time, how dare she come crawling back.

And yet as boots crunched through the snow, as his presence filled up her senses, she realized it was so.

Turning her head ever so slightly she caught a glimpse of him. Older, stronger, as sure of himself as [member="Thurion Heavenshield"] - at least in her eyes - he had a strength of being which radiated forth and enveloped her in warmth and serenity and familiarity.

Tears began to fall without a word. Mysa had been on her knees, knelt almost in the exact same spot they had been crouching when they first looked upon the Vhaanir, as though praying for forgiveness. Her prayers had been answered, and she dared not speak lest it broke the spell. She did not want this to be an illusion.

She needed him to be here.

[member="Théodred Heavenshield"]

 

[Théodred Heavenshield]

How many countless hours had he and Mysa spent in this forest in their childhood, more of the memory of it was good, there was also the bad and Théo had not been here since that day they found the Vhaanir and pleaded with them to come help in that horrid battle. But regardless of that, it felt really good to be back, there was calm sensation in these parts that he had never felt elsewhere on Midvinter, whether it was in his mind he did not care. He looked around, noticing nothing much had changed and then he approached the spot in which the presence of Mysa shone like a beckon in the cool dull light of the forest, the canopy heavy with snow laden nettles blocking the Sun for now.

There she was kneeling in the snow, her countenance was one of sorrow and regret, he could feel her beating herself up internally. She was always one for self admonition for as long as he had known her. He supposed they all did this from time to time and he had no right to lecture her about going off without a word having done so himself when he was only fifteen after the death of Thrand, their grandpapa and caused his parents countless sleepless nights.

All that really mattered was she was here now, and safe.

Insipid words of hello how are you at this moment never entered his mind as he walked up to her and allowed his knees to push into the snow in front of his sister, his hands raised cupping her face as he pressed his lips to her forehead. The moment remained for a long time, he delighted in her presence and his heart filled with joy at her being here with him. Eventually he let go only to hold her close with a growing smile and mischief in his eyes.

"Pay back huh?", he was trying to lighten the mood, and maybe just maybe bring a smile to her face. Mysa actually looked well, at least physically so, a little older, her eyes red most likely from tears. His face softened even more, and a warm smile echoed his next words, "Welcome home Wriggles".

​

[member="Mysa Snowstrider"]​

 

[Lief]

After spotting him there she turned her head forward and faced the desolate landscape of snow once again.

She did not feel worthy enough to look upon him, even if she had summoned him. It was difficult to even fully recall the last time they stood alongside one another, though her palm still bore the slight scar from that arduous adventure. She should have been here for her family in the years since, but instead she had taken her leave soon after their return from the realm between life and death. No word had been spoken to her parents, or her siblings, or even poor Gideon.

What would Gideon think of her silence?

That broke her heart, and her shoulders slumped further. It had felt as though she was in a daze for years now, not truly awake... On autopilot. It was time she took back the controls, and this was one step in the right direction.

When he appeared on his knees before her, and tipped her face up to look at him, she tried at first to avoid his gaze entirely. But the press of his lips to her forehead absolved her of all the guilt she had built up inside herself, and with a soft sigh she crumpled forward against him.

Home.

This was her home.

"I'm sorry" she whispered in response to his jest-filled words, quite happy to simply sit there against him, "I don't ever wish to leave again, my brother."

[member="Théodred Heavenshield"]

 

[Théodred Heavenshield]

"Why are you apologising Mysa?", she had nothing to be sorry about, nor a need to ask him forgiveness. "You know sometimes you just have to go off and leave, in order to return". She was wrong in thinking they would not worry about her if she had remained on Midvinter, it is what family does especially parents, they always worry for their children no matter what or how old they are. "And when you do return, you find everything. Everything about yourself that had been lost to you. And I am not talking about family I am talking about within yourself". She had physically returned to them yes, but his words of welcome home, as for her to home in her own heart.

"So stop apologising, you always do that you know .. you are forever sorry. Why are you sorry for being yourself?". A hand rose and began to fuss with her hair, the other pulled around the fold of his black fur cloak and placed it around her body as best he could after all they were kneeling in the snow and no matter how hardened to this place one is, you still feel the cold biting your bones.

"You know from this place, this exact position, life changed for us both really. And each of us went off in a different direction .. we can't stay out here forever holding onto this moment or the wish of returning to it. But what we can do is walk off from here in the same direction, this time". He leaned back and looking down into her face with a questioning look.

​

[member="Mysa Snowstrider"]​

 

[Lief]

"I am sorry because I have never felt like I was enough" she said, as meekly as she possibly could, not daring to look at him when she said it. While she was for the most part a very headstrong, confident young woman who was capable of making her own way in the Galaxy she was not without her own insecurities - insecurities which presented themselves moreso around her family than they did at any other moment in time. "My own mother abandoned me, left me with scientists who..." She shuddered, "Who saw me as just another experiment. I was sent here, to Midvinter, and Grandpa made me feel so at home. He made me one of you, and then... Then I had to leave again. But it was to a good place, with your parents, and they cared for me, and genuinely seemed to love me, and you came along and it was the greatest experience of my life, to have a brother."

She bit her lip, looking back to the spot where Belawir had once stood. Sorrow filled her expression, as did guilt for what she was about to say.

"But then they sent me away, too. Back to the woman who had abandoned me, to a man even they barely knew. I have forgiven Kära for what she did to me, and I love both she and Thyrian dearly, I do, but I have never felt as though I belonged with them. Yet what choice did I have? The day I was made to go with them I lost my brother and my sister, I lost the parents who had picked me up and made me feel like I was worth something. And since that time I've been stuck between two places. Between two versions of myself. The one I'm expected to be, the Princess - the daughter of two people who don't even know me - and myself. I am not a Hearthfire, Théo, I never was. I was raised to be a Heavenshield, but I feel as though I am not allowed to be that way."

[member="Théodred Heavenshield"]

 

[Théodred Heavenshield]

He had been too young to have understood the history of Mysa in her early childhood, never had anyone told him of the events leading up to her coming to Midvinter. As she spoke of it all, he listened with disbelief, how could anyone do that to a child? whether they are kin or not. It was hard to fathom the difference between what or rather how Aunty Kära had treated Mysa compared to her love for her children now. Théo had to assume she had realised her mistakes and sort to do everything in her power to not make them again. He knew that both his aunty and uncle had previous lives before finding the family again, darker times for them all really. It did not help remove the pain in Mysa however and he was not sure what to say.

He remembered that night well, after she had gone and their home left empty. Not much was said, his parents had tried their best to continue on but his home had felt like a hole was in it and the days that followed were hard, as he did not understand why she had to go. Years later of course, when understanding was achieved, it still did not make for sense. Everyone was placed in a hard situation, he knew his parents would have experienced the pain of it as well.

Although he could never truly understand what she went through in those days and the days that followed till this point, but now he understood the situation of the past more clear and although this journey of her life now would be set with more change, it would be for the better .. for her. She had been placed under too much pressure to be both, Hearthfire and Heavenshield, it was hard enough being one let alone two.

"I am so sorry you had to go through all this alone Mysa. I wish I had known of this earlier and maybe ...", maybe what? he could have done something? Maybe he could not have helped then but he can now.

"All your family loves you Mysa, and they will only want for what is right for you. But, you need to know what it is you want .. so tell me. What do you want?".

​

[member="Mysa Snowstrider"]​

 

[Lief]

What did she want?

She wanted to make everybody happy. The idea of upsetting a member, or members, of her family by making such a decision was a daunting one but at the same time she realized that she could not possibly keep up this act. At some point a decision had to be made, so why not here and now with her brother? He would not judge her for her choices, right?

"I just want to come home, Théo... Back with you, and Nina, and little Thirdas who I barely even know... I want to be back with your -- no, our -- mother and father. The family I actually feel connected to. Kära, Thyrian, they have other children now and honestly? It pains me to see them with them. I never got that kind of treatment from her, it's like I was some sort of experiment to her rather than a child. I may have forgiven her, but that doesn't stop it from hurting. I miss you, I miss my brother... I just want things to be the way they were, before we went to Voss and everything changed."

Letting out a small sigh, Mysa frowned and looked away from him with guilt written all across her face.

"Is that selfish of me to say?"

[member="Théodred Heavenshield"]

 

[Théodred Heavenshield]

Although Théo would never understand the pain and hurt Mysa has experienced over these years, a rational mind can understand the situation of it, and her wanting for something that she missed and that she was more connected to was completely understandable. It is in the places likes these were one is formed, informed and grows a sense of safety not only in the world at large, but within one's self. You know who you are, and Mysa needs to take back who she is. Théo has no issues with who he is, never will, and that was largely due to his parents, he is Heavenshield and that alone amounts to a great deal. Mysa is Heavenshield, she always was.

"Yes it is selfish", he looked down into her face finding her eyes so filled with a sense of guilt and pain, and he smiled. "And it is about time too. This discovery of who you are and that you want to take it back? has been a long time coming. You have the right to be selfish .. so do it and don't feel guilty about it. Because it is the right choice".

In these circumstances, there will be pain to come he knew that. Aunty Kara and Uncle Thyrian would be hurt but if they truly loved Mysa they would understand as well at least he hoped they would. A true parent only wants what is best for their children, and does everything in their power to see that come to pass even if it means letting go of them. Mysa would always be there for them, if it not as if she would vanish from their lives completely but this move back to her beginnings would be the start of something greater for his sister, maybe in time she will find out exactly who she is and in so doing come into her own. After all, regardless of heritage, regardless of parents we are but ourselves.

"I am sure my .. our parents will be happy to have you home. I most certain am", she held her close once more. "That part will be the easy part", Théo did not have to voice the hard part, Mysa would know that the telling of this to Thyrian and Kara was going to be more difficult than anything in her life.

​

[member="Mysa Snowstrider"]​

 

[Lief]

He wasn't judging her for it.

Selfish or no, he just wanted what was best for her... What had she done to deserve a brother such as he? Not enough, she knew that much, he was a true reflection of his parents, and of his own strength of character, and she admired him greatly for that.

"I hope they will not mind," she whispered, before swallowing back some of her own fears, "I just... I don't want Thyrian and Kära to take it to heart. They have done so much for me over the years, it was simply never the same..."

Torn.

But a decision had to be made, and she had to be the one to decide it. And so she had, here before the land of the Gods, alongside her brother, and now she knew there would be no turning back on it. With heavy heart she looked across to him, then past him back toward where Thainbroek lay beyond the trees, out of sight yet both of them knew where it lay by now. How many times had they come here in their youth without warning?

"I should have said goodbye to him," she finally said, after at least a minute of lofty silence, memories of the last time they had come here, while a battle brewed outside their home, forcing themselves to the surface "I was so wrapped up in the sensation of failure, in grief and blame, that I didn't even say goodbye..."

[member="Théodred Heavenshield"]

 

[Théodred Heavenshield]

How his aunt and uncle would react and feeling about this, Théo could not answer. But he did know that it was going to be difficult for them all, but in the long run she had to do this for herself. Not even for him as much as he longed for his sister's return. So finally Mysa had made her decision and it was right for her, otherwise she would continue down a path that would lead her away from the all .. everyone would loose her and he could not just stand back and watch that happen. "If you need me to come with you, to be there with you when you tell them, just say" . If she needed that support at her back he would be there if she needed it.

Mysa had some much clinging to her heart that had weighted her down, he understood well enough the feelings of pain that had come that day they lost their grandpapa, he knew exactly what she spoke of in the next sentence she spoke. A young boy leaning over his grandpapa's body unable to understand why that had happened, why those around him could not help to save him, it was just beyond his reason to grasp. In this eyes, at the time, his parents were unable to do anything, they were his Gods and could do anything but they could not save Thrand, and in that moment he had felt so betrayed.

It was not until years later did he come to understand that their grandpapa was beyond even their help and it was his time. But it grew in the young boy a fear that he, when the time came, could not do anything either to help someone he loved. It had been the wall that had prevented Théo from becoming the Jedi he is today, that was a good part of the reason he had left Midvinter and the family to find his path once more.

"We were children that found ourselves in a situation that was beyond our understanding, and should never have had witnessed such horror. But there is nowhere for us to be when these things happen other than right next to the ones we love, and fight with them.. even then. It is not right to place such things on a child, nor is it wrong .. not in this galaxy. But I know that if our parents could have spared us they would have". His thumb caressed the side of her face as he look at her.

His eyes darted into hers, "You know very well grandpapa would not want for you to be here sad and lost in this still. He loved us all, and gave his life to save us all, that was his parting gift".

​

[member="Mysa Snowstrider"]​

 

[Lief]

"Thank you, Brother, but... This is something I must do alone. I owe them that much."

There would already be pain caused by her decision, if she did not have the strength enough to tell them that by herself then she felt as though she would be doing them yet another disservice. Likely untrue, she knew that deep down, but all the same she could not help but feel that way all the same. Or... Perhaps she was wanting to prove herself capable, for her own sake and not anyone else's. She had come a long way since she left Midvinter, she had grown as an individual even if her doubts had also surfaced.

A new chapter in her life was forming.

"But... I would ask that you are nearby when it happens."

The last thing she wanted was to be alone after the fact. Besides she still had no idea where she would go when Thainbroek was no longer her home. She had made a promise to herself that she would not abandon this world again, and that was a promise she intended to stick to.

"Is there some way that we can honor him, Brother? Some way to say goodbye, even after all these years? Would he hear us, from up there among the Gods?"

[member="Théodred Heavenshield"]

 

[Théodred Heavenshield]

He was proud of her, he always was, but this was a very hard decision and no easy task ahead of her in the undertaking of it. "Of course, I will waiting for you". Now it was his turn to prolong their stay out here, neither of them relished the idea of facing their aunt and uncle in this and besides she had only just got back and every moment of their reuniting was treasured.

However her next words caused him pause as he looked upon her face and pulled back from her arms, "Why would you want to say good bye?", he asked in all seriousness and a little nonplused by it. Although he understood to what she was referring, but that was long passed and since their grandpapa is with them all the time, "Would you not rather say hello?". He smiled with the thought of it. "You remember that day all to well, as I do. But that day in which we spoke to the Gods themselves they said, We are always here".

Théo suddenly stood up from his kneeling position and encourage her off the ground as well, "Come on come with me". He took Mysa by the hand and lead here to the place in which they both stood all those years ago and first saw Belawir. More and more he was starting to believe that the Gods actually existed, there had been too much mysterious events happening in his life that could only come from such things. The Vhaanir are said to be the eyes through which the Gods see all on this place, but Théo had a feeling they could see all from anywhere. And he had to wonder which of the Gods he had spoke to that day before Mysa and he had rode into battle.

Which one of them had come to their aid?

They entered the small clearing, not as much snow today was on that day, but it had not changed at all. And at that moment as if answering their call, the clouds parted and the Sun appeared high in the Midvinter sky.

"Don't say good bye, tell him how much you love him instead".

​

[member="Mysa Snowstrider"]​

 

[Lief]

She could sense he was just as apprehensive about the situation as she was, and so she reached out and gently took his hand as she would when they were children off on their adventures. They had been through much, she and Théo, through thick and thin, even if recent years had left them apart.

Discovered the Vhaanir, the Gods, rode them into battle... Fought side by side as the Vinterbound closed in on them... They had sailed the rough seas, landed within a place where the veil between the living and the dead had been weakened.

Despite all of that they were alive, and together. Even when she had been taken from his half of the family she had never seen him as anything other than her brother. But that was what family was, you could choose them just as much as you were forced to accept them.

"I love you, Brother," she informed him, as he pulled her up from their place in the snow and reminded her of what was important: what happened going forward, not dwelling on the past. For their Grandpa was with them always, each day he rose from the slither of light on the horizon to grace their world with light and warmth. Protected them from the darkness.

Led through the trees toward the exact spot wherein they had first seen Belawir as children, she stood by his side and looked up through the break in the trees toward the sun. Not directly at it, of course, even if she hadn't been one with extremely sensitive eyes that would have hurt.

"I don't know what to say," she whispered, but then she realized that one did not have to be verbal in order to communicate with the Gods. Her eyes closed, head slightly bowed though surprisingly her actual body seemed to radiate strength in place of submission.

He was her Grandpa, after all, the first person in the entire Galaxy who had taken a chance on her, who had shown her kindness and compassion. He had taken her in even before he knew of their blood ties.

He made her who she was.

[member="Théodred Heavenshield"]