- Intent: To create a DMR for sale
PRODUCTION INFORMATION
- Manufacturer: Sword Herald Special Purpose Enterprises
- Affiliation: Sword Herald Special Purpose Enterprises
- Market Status: Open-Market
- Model: N/A
- Modularity: No
- Production: Mass-Produced
- Material: Durasteel, Slugthrower components, electromagnetic components
TECHNICAL SPECIFICATIONS
- Classification: Rail Gun DMR
- Size: Average
- Weight: Average
- Ammunition Type: 30-06
- Ammunition Capacity: Very Small | 7 shots
- Effective Range: Average
- Rate of Fire: Very Low
- Damage Output: Very High
- Recoil: Low
SPECIAL FEATURES
- Slugthrower Rifle firing very quiet rounds due to being based on Shatter Gun Technology.
- Super compact and lightweight for Railgun weapon
- Superior Accuracy
- Easily restored to minimal operating condition with minimal resources
- Ruggedized against weather extremes and is difficult to damage in general
- Integral scope comes with full night and thermal functions, as well as binocular function, along with micro sensors for measuring wind speed, based off the Verpine Ocular Enhancer
- Stock contains miniature Molecular Furnace to help create extra ammo clip in the field.
- Can be fired Underwater
- Magnatomic Adhesion Grip to prevent Disarmament
- Low Recoil
- Miniaturized Technology from Nerve Amplifier Belts make any shooter wearing this more difficult to affect with mental attacks, such as Force Illusions or Mind Tricks.
- Miniaturized Synoptic Teacher technology, wirelessly beaming firing data into shooter's brain from a micro computer inside the rifle as they hold it, allowing shooter to constantly review and adjust their shooting pattern due to having the results of past shots and the the projected results of the next shot given current data-The Shooter who uses this rifle actually becomes smarter at using the weapon system and sniping weapons in general
STRENGTHS
- Quiet Riot: Due to much of its tech being based on Verpine Shatter Gun Technology, the weapon is incredibly quiet when firing
- Armor Piercing: The electromagnetic tech hurls the bullet with such Force it's capable of piercing most Conventional heavy armor and even capable of doing severe damage to vehicle armor, and ignores most shields
- Fight anywhere: Capable of fighting in nearly any environment and can fire even underwater (At the cost of greatly reduced range and damage by one rating)
- Apocalypse Proof: Extremely rugged and difficult to damage, and able to be restored to minimal condition with minimal resources
- And it's pointed straight at your head, Tannen!: Could shoot the fleas off a dog's back at 350 meters
- Know-It-All: Built in miniaturized Synoptic Teacher tech linked to a micro computer recording the results of every shot you take via the scope, transmitting the results of the firing data to your brain wirelessly in real time, whether awake or asleep, allowing one to constantly study the range tables and shot consistancy. Shooters who are novices can become very deadly after even a few battles, as using this rifle causes them to literally learn faster than other shooters
- Mage Killer: A number of features make this an excellent weapon against Force Adepts. It has a Magnatomic Adhesion Grip to prevent disarming via conventional or telekinetic means, miniaturized Nerve Amplifier belt technology renders trying to use mental attacks on the shooter impractical, and it's bullets are trouble for Lightsabers as they are not blaster bolts, instead possibly melting on contact and possibly causing splash damage
- Low Recoil: A Low Recoil ensures comfortable shooting
- Emergency Ammo Press: Contains a miniature Molecular Furnace that can produce a single clip of extra ammo as long as it is fed raw materials from the environment.
WEAKNESSES
- Fire Rate: It's a bolt action. You won't have a choice but to make every shot count
- Ammo Scarcity: Go on. Try and find 30-06 ammo on a modern battlefield full of deadly energy weapons. You have only what you take with you
- Ammo Weight: It may be small but it's weight will add up quickly if you take more than a few clips
- Furnace wait time: The furnace takes 7 hours to process raw materials from the surrounding environment
- EMP: EMP Weaponry can knock out it's Electronics for 5 minutes before it reboots, rendering it little more than a bolt action rifle of mid tier quality for that time period
- Magazine Size: 7 shots in the magazine isn't saying much for it
DESCRIPTION
HushMaster 7--Because you need Vet Snipers NOW, DAMMIT!
---Sales Pitch
The HushMaster 7, designed by Maple Harte in Secret, is Sword Herald's entry into quality sniping weapons. Silent and with cutting edge modifications, a highly experienced sniper can be made of its owner in a few battles due to its integrated teaching tech... provided the shooter survives a fight that is.
Hello! Firstly, I think this is a very interesting concept, but there are several major issues that will require extensive revisions and rework before this can be approved. Therefore, I have moved this to prefactory for you to work on. Once your revisions are done, please repost this into the factory proper.
Note: I have not reviewed the strengths and weaknesses, as the comments I have thus far will likely impact them. Please review them after making my revisions, and revise based on the spirit of my comments.
Without further ado, please see my following comments:
OOC Information:
- Image: Starting off with a minor comment, but it appears as though you may have misplaced the image. Please place the picture above intent. Thank you.
Technical Specifications:
- Classification: I suck with abbreviations. Can you please specify what DMR means for people like me? Thank you.
- Balance: This weapon is 1 point underpowered. If you wish, you may improve this accordingly. Please let me know.
Special Features:
- Slugthrower Rifle: I do not see this ‘shatter gun’ technology linked in your primary source section, so i am unsure what the basis is for this weapon being able to fire slugthrowers while also being very quiet. Please provide your basis for this.
- Super Compact & Lightweight: Minor note here, but can you please elaborate as to what precisely is affording this weapon its super compact and lightweight design? Is it a material used? Is it a special means of assembly? This requires a bit more information. Thank you.
- Superior Accuracy: It makes sense for a weapon like this to be accurate, but what precisely is providing this weapon superior accuracy? Please elaborate.
- Integral Scope: Please add the Verpine Ocular Enhancer to the ‘Primary Sources’ section if you are using a derivative of this technology.
- Dove-tailing off of this, the functionality you are describing does not match what is referenced in the wiki link for the enhancer. DEEP DIVE TIME!;
- The Ocular Enhancer article says this: “The Verpine Ocular Enhancer was a tool created and exported by the insectoid Verpine. This visor-shaped device mimicked the visual acuity of the Verpine. As such, the Verpine themselves had little use for this tool.”
- After perusing the article for the Verpine themselves, this is the only information I could find about their eyesight: “Verpine eyes were keen enough to pick out microscopic details.”
- With the above points in mind, the only functionality that makes sense for these enhancers would be to pick up ‘microscopic details’. In short, they do not provide night vision, nor thermal functions, binocular functions, or the measurement of wind speed. On the surface, I could see this technology being used for a really cool microscope, or perhaps highly sensitive camera technology, but not what you are describing. All of that said, I believe it is within the realm of possibility that a scope could provide most of that functionality on its own, and I won’t ask you to link to articles/etc when we all know that technology exists even today. But my main issue is that functionality being tied to this specific article. So either remove it, or expound on how it is to be implemented within the bounds of its stated function in the article. I hope this makes sense.
- Stock Contains Mini Molecular Furnace...: Two things - 1) You did not link the molecular furnace. 2) Based on the wookiee article, there’s really not a ton of information provided about the size of it, but based on what can be inferred via the following quote: ”Molecular furnaces had been in use in mining droids for at least several centuries before the Battle of Yavin, and was also used in Coruscant construction droids. Umak Leth designed a new type that became the basis for the World Devastator.” - This leads me to the conclusion that this technology is meant to be a little bigger, especially when you look at the picture in the article. That said, I think your idea is very interesting and quite cool, but I think it’s special enough to require a sub if you wish to miniaturize the technology and put it into the stock. Please do so if you want this implemented in the submission. Otherwise, please remove it entirely.
- Nerve Amplifier Belt: How is this technology implemented? Is it part of the grip? Is it a strap that drapes over the form? Please elaborate.
- Synoptic Teacher: So, this is a major issue. The functionality you describe does not match the description within the wiki article. You are describing instantaneous functionality wherein this module beams data into the shooter's brain to make it easier for them to compensate for aim/etc in real time, with minute data transfers that affect basic motor functions. The wiki article describes the functionality as this: ”Marketed widely to the public, the Synoptic teacher was designed to be used in conjunction with a wide variety of pre-designed information learning modules; these modules spanned a wide variety of subjects, ranging from mechanical knowledge and technical repairs, vehicular and technical operation, slicing and programming, to knowledge cartridges on language, history, agriculture, business, and more. The Synoptic teacher took the form of a helmet, in which data modules could be plugged into the helmet one at a time. The transference process took place while a user was asleep, with the transferal procedure taking between 15-30 minutes. Depending on the level of the module content, and its degree of technical or cultural sophistication, a users retention or ability to process the data varied - retention and recall was widely dependent on the users base knowledge of the subject beforehand.”
- Remove this entirely, as this definitively does not match the functionality you are calling for. If you want this included, please submit a separate submission with this wookiee article as the primary source.
