Private Hot and Cold

[Takui]

The seconds that followed were rife with conflict.

Takui knew that his turmoil was palpable, and that such behavior was unbecoming of a Jedi. As a Padawan, he had passed no trials, and no one expected anything extraordinary from him. There were others his age or younger who already could perform miraculous feats of the Force. His outburst amounted to little more than a tantrum.

Ultimately, whether or not he chose to follow his head or let his heart guide his hand, he was inconsequential. That was what hurt the most about all of it. He had come this far because he followed the path laid out for him.

When the path diverged, he had no guidance. Even when the Knights and Masters said to trust in the Force, there was only so much he could do on his own. All he had were his morals and objections.

The transport wasn't far, now. A minute or two perhaps and he would be securely inside. He had to hope Ryv and the others would finish their vocal protest quickly. He didn't feel there was anything left to be learned on Commenor anymore.

And that was a pretty hard pill to swallow.

Caltin Vanagor

 

[Caltin Vanagor]

REDEMPTION IS NEVER OUT OF REACH...​

Location: Commenor Temple, Landing bay​

Equipment: Conservator(Lightsaber), Vanguard(Backup Lightsaber)​

Comm-link, Rebreather​

Starship: Starlight Sentinel​

Companion: Astromech R01R - "Roller", Pilot droid Mu51c - "Music"​

Tag: Takui​

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Wait up, kid.​

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He didn't want to leave, but the "debate" which was little more than a queen session was initiated and continued by people who just did not seem to understand what being a Jedi meant. Sure, he got their points of view, he once had them himself, but they were kidding themselves to think that there could be two, three a hundred, however many factions of "Jedi" there are out there. It was all one Order, and it should have been that way now, but whatever, that was an argument for another time. Right now he was following someone who could use an ear, not a mouth. If these others in the chamber did not get that, then that was their problem, not his.​

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He was clearly distraught and unaware of what his future would be. That was rough, but he would be okay if he knew that he was the latest in a long line of crises of faith. This is not to dismiss his feelings at all, but everyone's been there, especially the walking boulder that was following him. ​

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Some "discussion" in there... eh?​

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...YOU JUST HAVE TO REACH FOR IT.

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[Takui]

He exhaled slowly and stopped moving when he heard the man's voice. One of the few people among the Silvers who actually had integrity in the job, at least from Taku's point of view, was also one of the last people he thought would follow him out. The youth turned and managed a weak smile.

"Ha... yeah," he agreed. There were a lot of enraged people in that room. He completely understood it, even if he hadn't agreed with how things played out. The New Jedi Order was offended, and they came in swinging. Of course the other team got defensive.

In the end, the situation wasn't conducive to bridging any gaps. He knew that. It was part of why he'd left the room. Between the failures on both ends, no one was going to have the answers they wanted.

That was what made it so sad.

"Not exactly what I wanted to see or hear, but you can't always get what you want," he shrugged slightly. "How can I help you, Master?"

Caltin Vanagor

 

[Caltin Vanagor]

REDEMPTION IS NEVER OUT OF REACH...​

Location: Name here (Optional)​

Equipment: Conservator(Lightsaber), Vanguard(Backup Lightsaber)​

Comm-link, Rebreather​

Starship: Starlight Sentinel​

Companion: Astromech R01R - "Roller", Pilot droid Mu51c - "Music"​

Desbre Gensan , Milya Vondar (can follow if they want, but not necessary)​

Tag: Takui​

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He stopped, that was good.​

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The big guy wasn't really expecting him to stop, Caltin thought he would have to talk to Takui on whatever transport he was getting on. Not that it mattered where. He followed the kid because he totally got what the "debate" turned into back in the chamber. Sure, the kids of the New Order may have had a valid purpose for being there, but they destroyed any credibility in the way that they brought it. This is the point that Caltin was trying to make, only to end up being chided and disrespected by them, but oh well, that was their mistake that they have to live with. He made no apologies for who he was, at least not to those who did not deserve one. One thing he liked about Takui was that he may be a bit "timid", he stood up when he needed to. If that wasn't the embodiment of a Jedi, the massive Jedi Master did not know what was.​

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Looking back at the chamber, at least the doors, he chuckled at the kid's comment. That is the mistake that most Jedi who are not yet Masters make. They go in there, they're entitled to their own opinions, that doesn't mean that they're entitled to their own facts.​

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The question surprised him, and he shook his head. How can I help you?​

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...YOU JUST HAVE TO REACH FOR IT.

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[Takui]

Taku fully faced the man, who easily dwarfed him. That didn't seem daunting to him, though. He crossed his arms and matched the Master's gaze with a pensive expression. "Everything I've learned up to now has been about preserving life and protecting balance in the Galaxy," he said. "I can understand and accept the threat of the Bryn'adûl brings fear and sorrow with it, and that they are an enemy of all life. What I can't accept is that any Jedi would compromise with the Sith against a common threat."

The words were painful to speak, because he would have rather walked away. Still, he was far past the point of no return now. He swallowed that indecisiveness and continued. "It isn't even about that, honestly. More so than even the conceptualization of an alliance of evil is the fact that members of the Silver Order murdered people on Dantooine, in an engagement that had absolutely nothing to do with a threat to the Concord."

For Taku, an excused act of aggression from a group that considered themselves defenders and keepers of the peace was beyond a joke. It was a perverse comedy fueled by madness. "I fought the Sith at Korriban," he said. He didn't say it because he wanted recognition. He said it because he wanted the man to understand that he had seen the darkness with his own eyes. He had felt it. "I stood in defense of Byss," he said as he lifted his shirt to reveal the hideous wound that still pulsated pain through his entire body. "This is what Sith do," he said quietly.

Takui let his shirt fall and leaned on his cane. "The infection sets in. They spread dissension, they convince people they're right, and they drive a wedge between them. They're winning."

He knew why Ryv and the others were so upset. Taku could feel their emotions like a hurricane in the Force. His compassion for those feelings was perhaps his most immense burden, and he kept it quiet.

Until that moment.

"I came here to ask why the Silver Order allowed their people to be at odds with allies among the Jedi. I learned what I wanted to know, and I am glad for it; but in learning it, I also learned that there is zero accountability for those actions. So I guess, what I really want..."

Did he want something?

Yes.

"...is some accountability."

Caltin Vanagor

 

[Caltin Vanagor]

REDEMPTION IS NEVER OUT OF REACH...​

Location: Commenor Temple landing bay​

Equipment: Conservator(Lightsaber), Vanguard(Backup Lightsaber)​

Comm-link, Rebreather​

Starship: Starlight Sentinel​

Companion: Astromech R01R - "Roller", Pilot droid Mu51c - "Music"​

Tag: Takui​

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Caltin let the kid speak thoroughly, he wanted a chance to voice his feelings without any type of backlash and the big guy made sure to give it to him. He made some good points, and he had his own beliefs, there was nothing wrong with what the kid brought up, but there were a few that needed some clarification. Caltin was not going to try to change the Padawan's mind, but he had his own perspective, especially from his experiences and maybe there could come some clarity. He didn't know the details of what happened on Korriban or Byss, so he would not pry or offer an opinion, he only spoke on what he knew.​

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I agree with you, the thought of an alliance with those diametrically opposed to our beliefs and way of life... it's... it's destructive. However, I ask you... who said anything about an "alliance"?​

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Holding up a palm as if to say "relax", he stood a little more straight.​

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Hear me out. I'm not defending the Sith, not at all... their hidden empire from my time as a Jedi Knight. He shook his head. They hunted me day and night, I cannot tell you how many times I was ambushed by multiple Dark Lords at one time. Anyway, they spread dissension if you let them. That? Pointing down the hallway. That could have gone so much better if the group did not basically barge in. I'm sorry to say it, but they brought it on themselves. Even if the Sith were behind that, let me ask you this. ​

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You want to preserve life? Correct? So do I, that is the life and service of a Jedi. Standing for those who need it against a greater threat. That is what we do, right? Do you really think that it is fair to pick and choose who? Again, I'm not defending the Sith, or the "Dark Side" at all, I know full well what they do and are capable of, but say nothing was done and the Sith were slaughtered by the Bryn. Say the Bryn took over all Sith space as a result, who would help us if we needed it? That's the burden of doing what we do, it's thankless. I don't like the idea of defending or standing up for someone who not only would not do the same for me but would possibly take their lightsaber and stab me in the back. However, I cannot look at the man in the mirror if I don't truly believe that I would.​

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Looking back at the doorway, taking a deep breath through his nose and shaking his head, he looked back at the kid, who was proving himself more with each word.​

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It's not about standing with an enemy against a bigger one but being able to live with ourselves. Most of them may feel differently, frell all of them may feel differently, but that is the way I was taught and trained. What's right is right. ​

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...YOU JUST HAVE TO REACH FOR IT.

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[Takui]

He probably would have been able to stomach things a little better if more of the Silvers saw things the way Master Vanagor did. The man didn't see the Sith as allies, not even allies of convenience. They were simply people in the Galaxy to him. People who deserved a chance to live, even if they willingly chose to spit on the sanctity of the life they were given.

Takui couldn't agree with him, but he understood that point of view. He could respect it to a point. He wouldn't even try to argue the logic. "A Jedi protects life," he agreed. "All life. I understand your perspective, Master," he said.

"The form that my assent takes may not share in every sentiment, and we may not completely agree, but at the core, we believe the same thing."

What he could agree with the man on was the form that their dissension took. "I knew before they entered that room that the talk was doomed to break down," Taku revealed. "The emotions from both sides are too great. The wounds are still fresh. And no one wants to make the wrong move. Cooler heads always prevail."

It was another old teaching from his father. Always enter a situation objectively, or whatever you do will be folly. Despite all the animosity he felt toward the man, Taku found himself following most of his lessons to the letter.

Life had a funny way of going like that.

"Some things you can't change, no matter how hard you try. Some people have to experience failure in order to learn." Taku gestured toward the hall where the others were still at odds. "Like grief, all emotions are innate to the human condition. They have to be allowed to flow naturally, or they will fester. I said my peace, and I have come to terms with the reality I have, not the one I want."

He let his hands fall to his side, and Taku closed his eyes. One deep breath, then he exhaled. When he looked up at Caltin again, he smiled a bit more easily.

"You must do what you believe is the right thing, and if that is to stand between a life and certain, unnatural death, I do not fault you for it. As for me, I have seen evil just like you, but I can't consider it human." It was a sad revelation, but an admission that Taku had to make. "I can't allow the Sith to spread their darkness. That would be no different than allowing the Bryn'adûl to wipe out all life."

He offered the man a respectful bow. Among all of the Silver Order, Taku knew that there was at least one Jedi.

"I appreciate that you followed me, Master," he said. "I genuinely expected that we would just leave in silence."

Caltin Vanagor

 

[Caltin Vanagor]

REDEMPTION IS NEVER OUT OF REACH...​

Location: Commenor Temple landing bay​

Equipment: Conservator(Lightsaber), Vanguard(Backup Lightsaber)​

Comm-link, Rebreather​

Starship: Starlight Sentinel​

Companion: Astromech R01R - "Roller", Pilot droid Mu51c - "Music"​

Tag: Takui​

​

Again, he let the guy talk it out, he needed an ear and he got it, even a little bit of an outside perspective to let him strengthen his resolve and at least get a better understanding of himself. The Padawan did not agree with him, so what? He did not have to agree with everything the big guy told him. In fact, it would probably weird the massive Jedi Master out if he did. Takui earned more respect from Caltin for standing by his own principles but at least understanding other points of view like this. That was all that the big guy could ask for. He had the right idea about emotions too. The thought of the others and their anger, Caltin just shrugged. This was something that they would have to deal with, and a part of their own journey. It was obvious that they were not ready as they chided him for his own observations, but he let that go... what was the point?​

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Yeah, I wouldn't worry about agreeing or disagreeing with me. Having opinions, and beliefs of our own... makes us who we are. I mean I cannot stand stimcaf, but an old friend got me hooked on it, so I think of her fondly with each sip... heh though I mockingly curse her existence when I do.​

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The memory of the long-deceased Jedi Master made him smile genuinely.​

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She refused to use, or carry a lightsaber, was a healer in every sense of the word, and abhorred violence in all forms. She was still one of the greatest Jedi I had ever known, we disagreed on everything, but she was a great friend. When I was a Knight, I was much like the boys and girls in that chamber... often argued with many of the Council. The thing is, we were all "Jedi" and that's all that really mattered. We all believed in the thought that the right thing is always the hardest one to do. ​

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Looking at the chamber doors one more time, he just sighed.​

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Unfortunately, that sentiment seems to be lost nowadays.​

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Looking back at Takui, he winked.​

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Jedi don't ignore others who might need help... even if it's just an ear. ​

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...YOU JUST HAVE TO REACH FOR IT.

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[Takui]

"I'm with you on that bit," Taku agreed. If every Jedi in the Galaxy agreed on everything, they would be living in some kind of bizarre, ideal world. They didn't. But that variety, the diversity, all of the clashing ideas- provided they had them without violence, those things were what made life so unique, and worth defending. It was when one side got the idea that their idea was better than everyone else's that the desire to conquer took over.

Taku was certain that while the Silvers were wrong, neither were the New Jedi Order specifically correct. It would be foolish of any Jedi to say one point of view or another was wrong. That would be playing into the trap.

However, while they had to agree to disagree, the Jedi on Coruscant didn't have to not take the fight where they believed it ought to go. And that was as much their right as passivity was the right of the people on Commenor and Kashyyyk.

"There's nothing wrong with an argument that doesn't come to blows. People will always disagree. In the end, I'm fine with that part. Still," Taku gestured toward Caltin. "Helping people is one thing. That's a given."

Then, he gestured back down the corridor. "I can even accept that I won't see justice served. At the end of the day, the Silvers will do as they will do. It will leave a foul taste in my mouth, but I'm willing to swallow that and move on with my life."

He tucked a hand into the pocket of his robes, and the other rested on his cane.

"I just hope it doesn't happen again, because next time," he told him, "they won't be coming for answers. Ryv and the others? They'll come for their own justice. And I honestly can't say I'd stop them, because it wouldn't be wrong."

Caltin Vanagor

 

[Caltin Vanagor]

REDEMPTION IS NEVER OUT OF REACH...​

Location: Commenor Temple Landing Bay​

Equipment: Conservator(Lightsaber), Vanguard(Backup Lightsaber)​

Comm-link, Rebreather​

Starship: Starlight Sentinel​

Companion: Astromech R01R - "Roller", Pilot droid Mu51c - "Music"​

Tag: Takui​

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"Agree to Disagree"​

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That was really his primary thought, and that was fine. They each made their points and understood where each other was coming from, that is what it was all about, right? Not barging into a room and demanding answers. Talking was good. He did not know all the details of what happened, so he was not going to comment or argue Takui's last prediction. That was okay as he might react the same way.​

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Fair enough. You going to be okay?​

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...YOU JUST HAVE TO REACH FOR IT.

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[Takui]

"I think so," he replied. Taku smiled again and nodded as he spoke. "This conversation has been much more fruitful than anything I expected to get today, so, thanks again, Master."

The others would be along eventually; and he didn't mind waiting, especially not now that his feelings had iced over. Taku felt much more at ease with the situation than he did before, after he was able to think everything through and talk with someone on the other side without it becoming a screaming match.

"I hope to see you again," he said as he offered another bow, this one by way of goodbye. "May the Force be with you."

Caltin Vanagor