Here I am

[Darth Veles]

Joining the feedback request club

Any comment, critique, advice, suggestion concerning my writing is welcome. The same goes for my characters, so please write your thoughts on Elizie Adasca and Darth Veles. I'd like to improve my writing as well as my characters, so I need your feedback!

 

[Via Dolorosa]

I truly believe you are an excellent writer. I enjoy reading your posts, that are both well thought out and paint a good picture of what you are trying to achieve in them. However, your character's (Darth Veles) beliefs on what a Sith is hampers you in accepting RPs from other Sith. I feel you miss out on a chance to meet and work with others from the OS faction. You've adopted the Darth Bane syndrome and believe he would rather kill his fellow Sith than work, train, or assist them. For those reasons, you are limiting yourself to much while you continue to look for the perfect fit for Darth Veles.


This is only my opinion and not fact.

 

[Darth Carnifex]

Yer cool.

Even if you are a dirty, smelly conservative Sith

[member="Darth Veles"]

 

[Darth Veles]

[member="Darth Venefica"], I know, which is why he participates in the Cursades - to get him a bit more active again.

You're a bearded donkey, [member="Darth Vornskr"]!

 

[Judah Dashiell]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sxdmw4tJJ1Y



You're awesome if you get this. If not....well....you're dead to me.

 

[Seraphina Shel'tah]

[member="Darth Veles"]

You're pretty fly for a fish guy... Sorry, I had to slip that in here.

Anyway. I apologize for taking like....2 weeks to post this when I had said I would way earlier. Anyways...I love your character & writing. You have a really good way of encompassing the surroundings and finer details into your threads to make the environment come to life and feel like you are really a part of the scenery. Avreet is a really interesting character, and like you mentioned in my own feedback thread, a stark counterbalance to my Jedi.

One thing that really stands out though is the structuring of your sentences and paragraphs. They are really well written. Genuinely, this is my biggest pet peeve of the site, when people either A: Mash every single word into one paragraph, making my head hurt trying to keep track of where I was if I get even the slightest bit distracted, or B: Single sentence posts that I had to wait 2-3 days to read. You are an excellent writer, so keep it up