Commodore Helix
Disintegrations done dirt cheap.
Crackle
(A soothing, vaguely-feminine voice begins speaking)
You there! Yes, you!
Tired of all those pesky pirates raiding your shipping vessels? Sick to death of all those whiny citizens complaining about "food" and "water" etc? Had it up to your visual processing units with your uppity soldiers refusing to commit "war crimes"?
There's a better way. The Helix Solutions way. At Helix, we believe ephemeral moral concerns need never get in the way of your need for conquest, destruction, and the security of your home and loved ones. That's why we provide lethal, unquestioning droid forces for hire, soldiers who will never disobey an order, no matter how abhorrent!
Good guy who needs to put some bad guys in the dirt but can't quit boo-hooing about how that will make you just as bad as them or whatever? Helix has the solution. Bad guy who needs a plausibly-deniable orbital bombardment to scour those nasty indigenous life forms off the site of his shiny new base? Helix has the solution. We work for anyone, anywhere, at competitive prices.
With contract options ranging from a single personal security team to a small brigade that's just perfect for quashing insurrections, (or more, for our clients of truly impressive financial means), Helix well and truly has it all, at a fraction of the cost of our nearest competitors and all their disgusting organic holes and juices.
Don't let the pitchfork-wielding mobs that rightly want your tyrannical head on a spike get you down! The Helix Solutions family always has your back.
crackle
(A soothing, vaguely-feminine voice begins speaking)
You there! Yes, you!
Tired of all those pesky pirates raiding your shipping vessels? Sick to death of all those whiny citizens complaining about "food" and "water" etc? Had it up to your visual processing units with your uppity soldiers refusing to commit "war crimes"?
There's a better way. The Helix Solutions way. At Helix, we believe ephemeral moral concerns need never get in the way of your need for conquest, destruction, and the security of your home and loved ones. That's why we provide lethal, unquestioning droid forces for hire, soldiers who will never disobey an order, no matter how abhorrent!
Good guy who needs to put some bad guys in the dirt but can't quit boo-hooing about how that will make you just as bad as them or whatever? Helix has the solution. Bad guy who needs a plausibly-deniable orbital bombardment to scour those nasty indigenous life forms off the site of his shiny new base? Helix has the solution. We work for anyone, anywhere, at competitive prices.
With contract options ranging from a single personal security team to a small brigade that's just perfect for quashing insurrections, (or more, for our clients of truly impressive financial means), Helix well and truly has it all, at a fraction of the cost of our nearest competitors and all their disgusting organic holes and juices.
Don't let the pitchfork-wielding mobs that rightly want your tyrannical head on a spike get you down! The Helix Solutions family always has your back.
crackle
Last edited: