Hear The News? Life Plan Shredded

[Gaia Sunaris Cadera]

Location: Sundari Palace, Mandalore

Beth took a deep, long breath as she stared at the door in front of her. Behind it laid her mother, [member="Yasha Cadera"]. She’d probably be working – she was a busy body with the whole Mand’alor stuff and the ever-expanding borders of the Clans. What Beth hadn’t wanted to do was burden her but… After her conversation with [member="Cleru"], a decision had to be reached. A decision that… Would change her life, forever.

Which she was slowly accepting, despite her worries and general anxiety and the ever-worsening sickness that came along with this. High risk was an understatement… And in her bedroom, her 5 year, 10 year, and 15 year plans were all shredded in one of her many emotional breakdowns over the past month since [member="Manu Xextos"] told her about what awaited her in the future. And to be fair, she knew Yasha knew something was going on. Everyone knew something was going on. She had been acting different, weirder, and a lot more sick over the past couple weeks.

Beth fiddled her thumbs in her hands as she looked at the handles. “Oh hey, mom, so uh, I’m pregnant, with not one but two babies, and uh I’m moving to Chiss space because they’d kill Cleru if he left.” That was just… A great explanation. And totally wouldn’t be a shock. And totally wouldn’t add even more stress onto her buir. Beth groaned as she thought about what to say or do.

In a simple white shirt and a pair of jeans, Beth finally decided to knock on the door. One hand went to the handle, slowly opening it as she held her breath. “Buir? Mom?”

 

[Yasha Cadera]

“And send the 9th to the border with Euceron. I don’t like how the Silvers are creeping against our border.” Yasha stood in her armour, dictating to generals, Alor’e and soldiers on holo.

“Elek, Mand’alor. The Taris situation, next.” Sigurd-Adolfo spoke from his place by his ‘mother’s side. A knock hit the door, the soft voice of Yasha’s oldest daughter.

“Alright. Our orders are clear. Let’s to it. Signing off” Sigurd-Adolfo caught Yasha’s eye, and gave a tight smile. He opened the door, after the holo feeds cut out. He patted Beth’s shoulder as he left, leaning down to whisper in her ear. “Su cuy’gar, Beth’ika. Worried us for a while... ah... go easy on her... she won’t show it, but there’s something going on.”

Retracting her helm, Yasha took a deep breath, and turned to look [member="Beth Cadera"] over. Her eyes had lost their spark, the past few weeks, since the party. “Beth! Yes.. I was going to call you. Aunt Peggy wants your wall colours for your home on Vanquo. Um, I have samples... here hold on.. Sig! Sig, where are... frick, he left. Okay...”

Licking her lips, Yasha went to her desk, searching through the mire to find the paint swatches. She stopped.

“You didn’t come to talk about paint. Okay. Alright...” Sitting on the edge of her desk, Yasha reached for her stim caf, and took a long drag. “How can I help, sunspot?”

 

[Gaia Sunaris Cadera]

“S-sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt,” she muttered as Sigurd-Adolfo patted her shoulder. “I know, I will.” How was this going to be easy on her? Beth mentally screamed at what was about to happen. Her confession was going to break [member="Yasha Cadera"]’s heart.

Beth bit her lip as she thought about the shame. It was just one time, on a stupid hell-planet where her and Cleru had to escape the horrors somehow. What Beth hadn’t expected that it’d result in another… Situation. No, she didn’t want to call the twins nightmares. She fiddled her thumbs as she creeped up to where Yasha was half-sitting on her desk.

She sheepishly gave a nod. “Oh, I will let her know... I think I might have seen them through the 'net. Peggy sent me a bunch of something but... Haven't had time to look.” Would her mom and Aunt Peggy even still want her to have a bedroom on Vanquo after this? Beth’s stomach felt like a pit of anxiety and… A wave of nauseas hit Beth as she took a breath, looked towards her feet. “Where is your trash can, by chance?” Just in case, she needed to make sure she had a clear direction to go in.

“I… Need to tell you something,” she said quietly, avoiding eye contact with Yasha. “And it’s… Something really bad. And… Um.”

 

[Yasha Cadera]

“You are NOT an interruption, Bethany. It’s... um... gosh I know I have one.” Yasha searched under her desk, pulling out a trash can and putting it on the desk beside her. [member="Beth Cadera"] looked positively green. She’d clearly been sick lately, since her escape from that Hell planet. Yasha offered medical aide, but the tortured gaze was another thing she recognized.

Beth was locked in terror, and the trauma it caused, and eventually she would come talk to her mother. Yasha gave her time, thinking Beth would come when she was ready... but Beth didn’t. A month passed, days folding over themselves, and Beth’s mental condition speared at the back of her mother’s mind. Yasha didn’t get any sleep, she threw herself into her duties, into reintegrating her resurrected mother, into avoiding [member="Kaine Australis"] after Dathomir.

But what could be so terrible that it sent Beth in to see her mother, quaking in fear and asking for a rubbish bin?

“Oh... oh Manda... who?” It could only be one possible thing. “Who killed him? What... what did your father do?”

Her eyes burned with the humiliating start of tears, as Yasha steeled herself to take what came next.

 

[Gaia Sunaris Cadera]

Not an interruption? HA, just wait till Beth said what she had to say. Beth gave a nod as a way of thanks. She moved over towards it, placing a hand on the desk so she was easily able to vomit if she needed too.

Beth bit her lip as she tried to formulate what she had to say. Her deep confession. [member="Yasha Cadera"] would be the second to know, only after Cleru. I'm pregnant. That was all she had to do and then... She could see herself to exile. Oh gods, she was like her father after all.

Beth stared at Yasha as she started to nearly cry over her thinking... Kaine had died? Or he did something. Beth quickly through her hands up, shaking her head quickly. "No, no, noooo. It has nothing to do with dad! Calm down, it's okay."

But then she felt it, she leaned over the bucket and heaved. And heaved again. Her hand clutched the table when as it finally subsided. "Mom! Calm down," she whispered as she tried to regain control of her body. Alright, she couldn't keep Yasha in the dark. Not if this is what she thought. Heck, it'd be better for her own exile to begin instead of worrying her like this.

"I'm pregnant!" She said loudly, a little too loudly. Her hands clapped over her mouth as her eyes widened. She nearly couldn't believe it came out like it did. Or that loud. "W-with twins," she muttered through her hands as she stared at Yasha.

 

[Yasha Cadera]

Her heart sank in her chest, this was it! Kaine was finally dead… but then it was worse. [member="Beth Cadera"] heaved over the bin and the gears clicked. She yanked her crushgaunts off and set one hand on Beth’s back, the other holding back Beth’s golden hair. She petted her daughter’s back in soft circles, and a deep maternal rage grew in her belly.

Wasn’t it yesterday that Beth was a scared little girl, who desperately needed a mother? The last time Yasha checked, Beth was a little girl. A teenager growing up and hoping to become a doctor.

A doctor like the one they needed, when Adara died.

“But your life binder!” It came out so quickly, Yasha slapped her hand over her mouth. Kaine was alive, Beth was alive, more than. She was carrying two lives within her! Now the nausea, the lost glances into her mother’s eyes made sense. Yasha sat statuesque on the desk for no other reason than she momentarily had no idea what to do.

Eight Years Prior
Yasha dried her eyes for what felt like the thirteenth hour. There it was, on the Doctor’s medscan.

“But…” She’d wanted to scream. How could one drunken night at the Golden Festival turn her most solid friend into a momentary lover - an adulterer - and her… what did that make her? [member="Kaine Australis"] was a married man, and Yasha was a 21 year old widow, who took no comforts but her job. She’d waited in fear for two months, until Kaine put the pieces in their place.

“… Yash’ika? Tell me… please.”

She’d curled up on the couch, head in her hands, and whispered. The gasping shouts which came next were not what Yasha expected. Nor were the arms around her, the laughter and the kiss to her forehead, promising everything would be alright. He would take care of it. Caz would be thrilled… they needed cake. Cake! And no more stim-caf for Yash'ika...

It took another three years for Yasha to stop thinking she’d failed miserably every time she looked into Reyn’s face…

Caz would know… Caz always knew what to do, she’d say something, or be excited. No. As much as Yasha loved her wife, Beth was Yasha’s little girl. Her first child.

“Bethany…” Yasha stood up, and picked her daughter up in both arms, cradling carefully as she walked them both to the couch and kept Beth in her arms. “Don’t you… don’t you ever call your kids something bad.”

She kissed Beth’s forehead and rocked, pressing her lips together.

“I love you so much… now I get two more of you to love. Oh gods, Beth how long have you been hiding this? I could have helped sooner, baby. I’m your Mom.”

 

[Gaia Sunaris Cadera]

There was nothing worse than having to vomit. The feeling, the burning, the general terrible taste afterwards. The only comfort was Yasah's hand on her back, the other keeping her hair from being in the crossfire of her body reacting to the changes. The many, uncomfortable changes. It was only made worse by the mix of species - 3 different genetic makeups were trying to figure it out inside her.

And instead of one, there was two. Beth held onto the desk for a moment as she heard Yasha mention her life binder. Her life binder! "It's in the trash," she wailed as tears began to well up in her eyes. "Because all of my plans are so karked up now and..." She breathed heavy, the flush of tears starting. "It was an accident, and it was on that stupid planet..." She wiped her cheek, wiping away the streak of water.

Beth was in her mother's arms moments later, being carried to a nearby couch. Beth rested her head on [member="Yasha Cadera"]'s shoulder. There was nothing better than being held by your mom. And for all intents and purposes, Yasha was her mother. Always would be. Even if Beth herself became a mom... Which was just, weird sounding, at least in Beth's mind.

"I won't," she whispered. At least not out loud. Beth laid in her mother's arms, for a brief moment she felt okay. "I love you so much too. I... A little over a month," she said quietly. "I'm so ashamed. And all my plans are gone. And my life binder is all pooey and useless and I don't know what to do and I'm scared and..." She finally had to stop and breath. Her rambling was cut short by her own lung capacity. Ooof.

 

[Yasha Cadera]

“Oohhh, sweetiiieeee, you worked so hard on your life binder.” Yasha rubbed Beth’s back, remembering the hours Beth poured over admissions templates, class schedules, times for recreation… although Yasha cautioned her daughter that life found its’ own way of screwing up plans, with Beth’s father a more and more distant part of her life, and the stresses of the Mandalorians, Yasha figured Beth’s binder would do the girl good.

It had… for a while.

“Ooohh, oooh, ooohh, ohhh.” Yasha cooed, continuing to rock [member="Beth Cadera"] back and forth in her strong arms. “Mmmmmmyyyy Beth’ika. I always knew you loved me, but did you have to emulate my life? Come back from hell pregnant at almost 20? And twins! Trying to show me up.”

Yasha smiled into Beth’s hair, kissing the golden strands she’d braided up for Beth whenever she could, when Beth was little.

“Ashamed. Yeah, I remember that. Gosh, I was so ashamed I hid Adara and Reyn in my belly, until it was so obvious even a blind Mando could see it… and you know what? Didn’t help. Being ashamed of bringing life to the Galaxy isn’t bravery, Beth, and if you’re anything, it’s brave. Even when you’re terrified. Your plans gone? Gosh, did I give up being Mand’alor, and set my armour aside for a scouring pad and mop bucket, when I had Adara? Ram? You?” Laughing softly, Yasha tilted Beth’s chin up to look into her eyes. Tired, amber eyes. “You do what you want, Beth. And you let your parents handle the rest. Don’t sit here after being raised by me, and say having a baby or two means your life is over. You know better, you saw me do it right in front of you. You saw me get my degrees in Xenobotany at that desk, right there, while I rocked Reyn to sleep and took care of you, when we missed Kain’ik.

Being a Mom doesn’t mean killing your dreams. You’ll just… add some time. Maybe a little padding. A week here, a month there, and you’ll be gracious with yourself. Future Doctor Cadera.” She tapped at Beth’s cheeks, leaning down to kiss the tears away from each one. “Does the [member="Cleru"] know? ‘Cause if he does, and he’s not good about it, Tuulu’s been asking if Chiss are berry flavoured…”

 

[Gaia Sunaris Cadera]

"It even had those cute little drawings I could do when I was like 11," she muttered. "They weren't ever good cause they were stick figures but, still." She nearly cracked a smile in the middle of her tears. Her life binder had... Everything. She had detailed out the next at least 30 years of her life in meticulous detail. The milestones - 5 years, 10, 15.

A small laugh even escaped Beth's lips as she listened to Yasha's comment. Indeed, it seemed like daughter was like mother. It was so true and so funny. She sniffled, "I always did say you were my heroine," she admitted quietly.

Beth stared ahead as she felt the small kisses from Yasha. Beth felt little again, like when life was simpler. Scary, long, but good. She had [member="Yasha Cadera"], and her sister, and... Things did work out. Yasha did finish her degree. She was still Mand'alor. She was still a wonderful mother to all her children. "I did," she whispered quietly. Yasha did all those things despite everything that was thrown at her.

She took a breath as she smiled at Yasha with each kiss on her cheek. Her mother had made it work. "I... Do you think I can do it? Be a mom, be a doctor, and... Everything else? I feel like... Everything is, I don't know," she muttered quietly. But then she asked the most important question. "... They do taste good," she muttered under her breath as she shook her head after a second with a little laugh. "He does... I told him after Velmor. He... Handled it better than me. Actually seems excited," she said with a look of shock. "I... Have to move to Chiss space. He can't leave, because of his job," she said very quietly.

"But, he said House Sabosen might be able to help with my education and stuff.. I don't know."

 

[Yasha Cadera]

“Aw, my beautiful sunspot. I remember the day we met, you were so tiny and wary of everything. This long eared girl hiding behind [member="Kaine Australis"]’ leg. I was young, but... it didn’t matter. I had to make a home for you, Bethy. And then Kain’ik made a Home for all of us.” Another kiss to Beth’s forehead, another light squeeze as she held her adopted girl. Mandalorians made no distinction between adopted or born children, and Yasha loved Beth fiercely.

“I know you can, like I know my own armour. You are resilient, brave, talented, loving and you’ve got one heck of a family. Now we get to add [member="Cleru"] and your twins to it.” Yasha brushes Beth’s hair back, quirking a snort as Beth mentioned how Cleru tasted. Her girl... grown up... hoh boy.

“You’re... leaving home?” Yasha’s heart sank in her chest. She gripped her daughter harder to her, fingers clinging to Beth’s shirt. “You can’t stay... you love him? Do you love him, Beth? Enough to move, and be with him?”

Her daughter always had been on Mandalore, or within the Empire’s space. Although Beth lived in dorms during university, she always had a home. Yasha knew where she was and how to protect her... but the Ascendancy? The Infernal’s face contorted. She stifled the grief of losing Beth to another place.

“Not just House Sabosen, Bethy. Clan Cadera will help you, too.” Yasha whispered. “We can send you with help. And... and you know? The Mandalorians don’t have an Ambassador to the Chiss yet... it’s... it’s an option. We... how long have we got? How long do I have you for?”

 

[Gaia Sunaris Cadera]

Beth smiled as her own memories went back to when they first met. It felt like a lifetime ago. Beth curled up in her mother's arms, where the worry and scariness of all these things seemed to vanish at least for this moment. She was Yasha's little girl once more, that 11 year old who was lost but trying. "You were still the best mom anyone could hope for... I hope I can be even half as good as you," she whispered.

She laughed a little. She did have one heck of a family. One that she would most definitely lean on during the twins lives. Her family had always been Beth's rock. The love shared by them kept her going, kept the galaxy's horrors at bay.

But the hardest part came. The worst part - Beth was leaving the nest. Beth brought her hands to hold onto Yasha's arm as she felt her fingers clench into the shirt. "Yes," she said quietly. "The Ascendancy... Would kill him, if he left," she whispered. "And he was so excited when I told him, mom. He..." She trailed off, before giving a small nod at her question. "I do. I love him, so much," she said quietly but confidently.

Beth tried to stifle the tears that she felt crossing her cheeks once more. "I'll visit frequently, I promise." And it was a promise she'd keep. She would always stay in touch, always visit as much as she could. Beth nuzzled her head onto her mom's chest. "I would like that, Gods knows I'm going to need help..." And... Anything to remind her of home. Of Cadera. Of her mom, the one person who was always there. Always stood beside her. Her rock.

Would Beth adjust to life in Chiss space with [member="Cleru"]? Beth hoped so, and was confident she would. But it wouldn't change the fact that she was leaving home. She wouldn't see her mom every day, or the kids, or Tuulu and [member="Ambrose Cadera"]. Life was moving forward, with or without her.

"I'd be honored," she said of the idea of Ambassador. If she could help the Clans still, too... Well, that was all the better.

 

[Yasha Cadera]

For once Yasha hoped her handlers and guards kept the work of Mandalore back, while she spent this time with [member="Beth Cadera"]. The more she held her daughter, the more Yasha knew that her time with Beth was far too short and too quickly over.

“You’ll be a fantastic mother, sunspot. And if [member="Cleru"] is going to be a good father to my grandbabies, then I’ll love him, too… as long as he’s good to you… and you know… not… wow. My mind goes to really dark places, when I think of the men we’ve dated… sorry… forget I threatened. I’m sure he’s… I’m sure he’s… what on Mandalore’s moon does he do for a living, if him leaving the Chiss would cause his death? Beth’ika, are you two in trouble?” Yasha’s protectiveness peaked, and she clung harder to her daughter. “You know we’d protect him, right? If… oh Beth… I know I was trying to talk to him at the party, but my Basic is… I sounded like a half-brained freak.”

She shook her head, before setting her cheek on Beth’s hair, slowing her movement to just absorb the rare moment of being able to comfort an adult child.

“We’ll… we’ll get some volunteers. You’re not going alone, and you’re not going without every possible advantage I can give you. And… and you know if you don’t like it, or something happens you can come home. Not that I’m predicting, but… Beth, I never had the option of choosing my life. I had a duty given to me, and a path I had to walk… but you have a choice, and it’s a good one. And… and even though your father isn’t with us all the time right now, I know he’d be there for you in a heartbeat.” Yasha’s chin wobbled. Her arms clung to Beth, feeling the ache in her soul at being so frequently apart from her loves. “Then there we are. When you see the pace of your studies, and the handle on your babies, you’ll have a job. One that’ll keep us in contact, and give you access to the best in everything… I’ll… miss you, Bethany. I’ll miss you so fething much.”

Despite her resolve, Yasha felt hot tears stroke down her cheeks and alight upon Beth’s hair. She hoped to every god that Beth didn’t notice.

 

[Gaia Sunaris Cadera]

Beth nuzzled into her mother's arms. No, she didn't want to leave this spot. She was just a kid again, with the galaxy so scary and frightening. She was safe here, in her mom's arms. She sniffled as she tried to savor this moment. Soon... It would be the opposite. She'd be holding her own children when they cry.

How could she be a mother? [member="Yasha Cadera"] seemed to think she'd somehow be a good mother. If she believed she could be... It had to be possible. Beth gave a smile as she thought of just how great [member="Cleru"] was to her. "It's okay, I understand. He handled it pretty well, I think. You didn't scare him off, at least," she teased softly. Beth's eyes widened at the increasing protection in her voice.

"No, noooo. He's... He's an assassin for the Ascendancy," she said quietly. "I guess he basically just knows too much. And protecting him could cause... Issues, and our alliance is so new." That... Sucked. They were kind of stuck at the Ascendancy, unless they decided he could leave. Or if the Ascendancy fell, supposedly. "You were fine," she said remembering the attempts at basic by Yasha. "He was just nervous... No one was speaking basic beside you, to begin with. At least you tried."

Beth gave a sigh of relief - just knowing that her mother had her back was overwhelming amazing by itself. "I will," she said quietly as she put her hands on Yasha's arms as she inhaled, trying to keep herself from breaking into tears again. Man, it was so fething hard to keep her tears at bay. "M-maybe one day," she whispered, "He can be inside our lives again." She had come to accept that [member="Kaine Australis"] would likely miss most of her pregnancy.

Beth squeezed Yasha's arm that she held as her own tears finally began to escape her eyes once more. "I'm going to miss you so much too, mommy," she whispered between quiet sobs. She was going to miss her so much. She was going to miss her brothers so much. And the rest of her siblings... But her buir most of all.