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Approved Planet Grindera

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Grindera

GENERAL INFORMATION

  • Planet Name: Grindera
  • Demonym: Grinderians
  • Region: Expansion Region
  • System Name: Lorenz system.
  • System Features:
  • The planet lies in the Lorenz system of the tapani sector on the Calypsa Run between New Javis and Dampher
    One Sun, Yellow, Type M
  • OP 1: Gehen, little hot terrestial type. mining operations of House Calypso
  • OP 2: Damesh, hot swamp world, throne world of Count Caveel of House Calypso, 1 moon
  • OP 3: Grindera, 2 moons
  • OP 4: Lorenz, Gas Giant with 20 moons of various sizes, most important one is the ice moon Tear of Lorenz, with a vast dark ocean below miles of ice.
  • Asteroid Belt with many mining operations of houses and guilds
  • Location: Pelagon Hex, East of Pelagon
  • Major Imports: food, luxury items, cilvilian hightech, mostly computer parts, droids and heavy machinery
  • Major Exports: a wide variety of ore, mostly iron, Bauxite, Chromite and Ilmenite and some Aurodium and chromium, silver, beryl and tantalite . In ancient times there was a goldrush for the important ore kiirium for ships of that era, all stripmined today
  • Unexploited Resources: Archaeological artefacts and forgotten knowledge, mostly from the Fourth Great Schism, but some from the Great Sith War or even the days of theTwelve Kingdoms Era and before that. Most really dangerous items are long gone after thousands of years of looting and purges by the Mecrosa order and jedi alike. Other stuff like weapons and blueprints were top secret and priceless in their time but outdated today. But perhaps a graviton weapon of the time of the Herglic trade empire like the modern tensor rifle or a massdriiving Rail gun might still be found today. Perhaps a lightsaber of old design or a Sith sword too. Millenia old droids or devices in old ruins may also still functioning and valuable. And the many purges of old may have overlooked a holocron of forgotten knowledge lost in the frozen wastes.

GEOGRAPHIC INFORMATION

  • Gravity: slightly more Gravity than than standard because of the dense metal core.
  • Climate: Frozen, but has many vulcanic rifts in the surface with subtropical conditions
  • Primary Terrain: Tundras, Mountains, vertical subtropical fauna and flora at the sides of the Rifts that crisscross the surface
  • Atmosphere: Type I

LOCATION INFORMATION
  • Capital City: Settlement Aurek, seat of the local nobles
  • Planetary Features:
  • Grindera has three major cities, a ruin of a tower of Pelagian Jedi, and many ancient ruins. The ruins are hidden in the rifts and chasms or lost in the endless tundra. There is a spy satellite network of an old paranoid Lord in orbit of the planet that is a few centuries old. Aurek has an settled crater where a strategic weapon laid waste to the city in old times. There is an institute of the University of Mrlst and of House Reena tasked with exploring the ruins and ancient history of the planet. An old flying citadel in a chasm rumored to be home of a crime lord is said to be hidden on Grindera. A crawling mobile town called Cherek serves as a shadow port and is the unofficial fourth city of ore smugglers and pirates.
  • Major Locations:
  • Aurek: The capital city and oldest settlement at the equator, Aurek is linked by monorails to the two other major cities. It is also the most modern looking city, because it was rebuilt nine centuries ago after a terrorist attack with weapons of mass destruction. It also has some skyscrapers. The traditional building style is more suburban with robust and small buildings because of quakes and the high gravity. The noble owned space port in the goverment district is for military and diplomatic use only. Most buildings are made of native red sandstone or black basalt. Some of the older structures are made of rusty metal. The general image of all cities and towns of Grindera are that have been seemingly hewn out of the rock of the planet. Aurek has the dubious honor to be a prestige city planned by megalomaniacs with many buildings that boast the greatness of the regime. There is a great arena for sport events and the occasional duel too. Because of the monolithic basalt palace and government skyscrapers, Aurek is called "The Black City" by locals.
  • Besh: The biggest city, because it has the Stellar class space port and lies in the major mining region at the southern hemisphere of the planet. There is a high crimbling wall with skeleton rusty steel frames of an old physical radiation shield of the earliest day of the settlement that once formed a domed cyling over the city. Great market plazas and cramped resident quaters dominate the bustling trade city. Many cantinas, gambling halls and houses of ill repute are found here drawing attention with fancy holo sign. Because of these signs, the city is called "The multicoloured city".
  • Cresh: The food production center of the planet in the nothern hemisphere. Cresh is very rural, it is a town of ranchers and semi-nomad herders. The houses are flat and are widely spread. In the center, many huge greenhouses exist. This makes Cresh the "Green City" in local opinion.
  • Cherek: The shadowport of Grindera is based on an old mobile mining facility like Nomad City. It is not always on the move, but wanders from its current location if the danger of discovery is imminent. It is a safe haven for smugglers and pirates and secetly under the protection of political factions of Tapani nobles bribed by the council of crime lords ruling Cherek.
  • Force Nexus (Optional):
    Intent: To reflect the mysterious history of the planet and to lure in players of archaeologists and force user alike
    Nexus Name: "The Old Tower of Light", "The Tomb"
  • Nexus Alignment: The Old Tower of Light (neutral, former light, now tainted because of the murdering of jedi and padawans by the Empireof Lord Sidious) The Tomb (dark),
  • Size: Small The Old Tower of Light Medium The Tomb
  • Strength: Weak the Tower, Moderate the Tomb
  • Accessibility: The Tower: isolated ruin, known only to some locals. The Tomb is hidden in a deep chasm filled with dangerous wildlife and protected by deadly traps.
  • Effects: The Tower induced tricks of the mind, to test the visitors, offers sad tranquility if overcome. The Tomb has mutating effects on the flora and fauna. An aura of doom lingers in the Tomb itselfs (and the sealed coffin of one of the mightiest and dangerous Sith Lords of 3000 years ago)

POPULATION
  • Native Species: no native intelligent species
  • Immigrated Species: Tapani humans mostly of Pelagian stock, slightly adjusted to the higher gravity by more muscles and stronger bones, in spite of the distance to the Lorenz sun. Some aliens, mostly Herglic and some Mrlssi, but many natives of the Rimma Trade Route and the wider galaxy too . Many coldloving plants and animals like Tuggles and motmot.
  • Population: Sparse Humans with a small and diverse alien population. Racism is light and more between the human houses than against aliens. Tapani Aliens ( Herglic and Mrlssi ) are the majority of the alien population
  • Primary Languages: Basic with the Tapani dialect and many Heeglic words
  • Culture: Feudal system and guild structures. Culture is a mix of nearly all Tapani subsectors, predominantly Pelagian and Calipso. A special aspect of Grinderian culture is the use of exoskeletons in working and sports hailing from the days as the first settlers needed them for surviving the high gravity
  • Religion: Tapani leader cult centered around the present noble leaders but more important extending to legendary heroes of old times. Jedi philosophy tainted by ancestor whorship and the slightly heretic philosophy of the feudal jedi of Palagia. The phrase "The force is strong in this family" summarized nicely the native belief that force powers are a legacy of worthy and chosen families born to lead. Every jedi, even outsiders is automatically asumed to be a noble.

GOVERNMENT & ECONOMY
  • Government: Feudal and oligarchy of corporations with a smattering of Mecetti socialism
  • Affiliation: House Mecetti rules but Grindera is in the territory of House Calipsa
  • Wealth: High In Ancient times rich, than a long time poor and now with the isolation and „Tapani First“ policies the old mines and raffineries are important again.
  • Stability: Medium Because of the probverbal Tapani web of intrigues of the feudal houses and the strong criminal element. The law enforcement in the cities is firm, in the rural regions lax and in the wilderness or the shadow port nonexisting. Houes Mecetti was known for despotism in their first years and the original settlers had not forgotten this.
  • Freedom & Oppression: The tendency of House Mecetti to control every aspect of the life of its citizens is predominant but the capitalistic socialism is mostly accepted and promoted by the lawful and hard working citizens.

MILITARY & TECHNOLOGY
  • Military: A planetary militia and police force and the Household Guards of Mecetti and enforcers of the Mining Guild. Navy is a joint venture of system patrol crafts of House Mecetti and Calipsa. The Lord of Grnidera is allowed a small force of capital ships
  • Technology: Mostly Galactic Standard, backwater rustical in the rural regions.

HISTORICAL INFORMATION

Sages believe Grindera was discovered and settled by a semi-mythical explorer named Lorenz as the Calypsa Route was trailblazed many thousands of years ago. Life was harsh on the forbidding world and still the rich ore deposit lured many desperate or foolish settlers. In the first centuries, the planet changed hands many times especially between today extinct houses. Grindera soon became a haven for corsairs and pirates.


Some 5000 years ago, the Jedi Lords of Pelagia Province put an end of the lawless pirate realms on the red planet. They used it as a penal colony for the defeated enemies and their own criminals alike, deporting misfits and lawbreakers to Grindera. Today, the people are still proud of many legendary rebels or mild mannered criminals becoming folk heroes standing up against the fascistic imagined Jedi rule.

In the dark times, 3000 years ago, the horrendous war between the evil Darth Belia and the Tapani led to both her destruction by the Sith assassins of the Mecrosa Order and the secret entombment of the dead but still living master of corrupted life on the backwater world of Grindera right under the nose of the haughty jedi feudals. The Mecrosa rightly believed that their own enemies would effectively guard Darth Belia and her mad constructs better than their own depleted agents.

The firm hold of Grindera by Pelagia and the Jedi Lords was finally broken as a certain Darth Vader destroyed the cities of Pelagia and the Tower of Light on Grindera slaughtering all Jedi and Padawans in training on the secluded world.

The planet was given to House Mecetti for their support of the Empire of Darth Sidious, but the rest of the system was given to House Calypsa ensuring a petty powerplay until today.

After the Year Zero, the Tapani Sector did what it always does when central powers falter. It mined the few passageways into their nebula, ordered many new warships at Fondor, and became an isolated, eager provider of strategic vital ore for all sides again. The Pelagian Shadow Jedi and the Mecrosa order diverted their attention from fighting another to protect the sector against their "allies" in the shifting power struggles. Old mining worlds like Grindera slowly became very rich and important again.

With the rise of the Confederacy, the Sector and Grindera even became rich again, carefully not taking part directly in silly military adventures of the inept capitalists and their inefficient droid armies. The arrogant and scheming nobles of Tapani had 13,000 years experience to hold mighty powers at bay and prosper in the meantime.

Meanwhile, unchecked by the Jedi, the grave of Darth Belia grew into a nexus, waiting to be discovered and to spill its dark treasures, secrets and horrors over the lucky explorers and the doomed galaxy...
 
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Ylla Caeli'runa

Guest
Y
Adi'ka Awaud Adi'ka Awaud , evening there! Hope all's well :D

I'll be reviewing this sub for you. Because this is a planet sub, this will require two approvals before it can be officially approved and used in RP. That being said, I look forward to reading your sub!

[UNDER REVIEW]
 
Ylla Caeli'runa thanks you for your effort,

Grindera is an homebrew planet of an old pen&paper campaign of mine. I hope the nexus thing is not in the way of approval. Please say so when scaling it down would help. But it is essential for the character of the gloomy little planet. If I have to link canon artcle like Darth Belia, I would also gladly comply
 
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Ylla Caeli'runa

Guest
Y
Hello hello, Adi'ka Awaud Adi'ka Awaud !

I'd like to start off by saying that this is a nice planet and I really admire the research that went into it. I learned a few things myself! That being said, there are a number of edits to get through. But! That's perfectly fine for subs (especially your first planet). I've typed them below:


Image Credit: The link you currently have linked is a link to the image of your planet. This field is for the image sources. Please replace your current link with the one I've provided here.
Canon: The location description of your planet is appreciated. However, as Grindera itself is not a canon planet, this part of the sub should be marked as N/A.
Links: In addition to the link to the Tapani Sector, please also link the Lorenz system.
Major Exports: Please link Aurodium as a casual reader may not be familiar with what it is.
Unexploited Resources: Under this section, you've mentioned that Grindera has artifacts and forgotten knowledge on it. Please expand on this. If there are specific texts to be found, please state that they are copies so there aren't any problems with this going forward.
Pelagia: Please link the Pelagia Province to the first mention of "Pelagian Jedi" as it is mentioned multiple times throughout the submission and it's also an obscure reference that the casual reader wouldn't immediately understand.
Immigrated Species: You've listed "some aliens" as part of this field. Are there any of note that you'd like to add specifically?
Population: Please link the Herglic and Mrlssi specis here.
Religion: Small suggestion to move Religion down to its own line as it's currently directly next to Cultre. Please also move the information in the quote below up to Culture as it seems to fit better in that section rather than Religion.
"Family buisness and old dynasties of first settlers dominate the culture. Culture is a mix of nearly all Tapani subsectors, predominantly Pelagian and Calipso. A special aspect of Grinderian culture is the use of exoskeletons in working and sports hailing from the days as the first settlers needed them for surviving the high gravity"
Affiliation: Please link House Mecetti and House Calipsa as they are also mentioned/referenced several times throughout the submission.
Stability: Is the reference of "Byzantian intrigues" here meant to reflect the Byzantine system in Star Wars or the Byzantine Empire? If it's the second one, then per the template, "Don't use specific Earth references as shorthand instead of explaining something. Ex. 'Japanese culture,' 'Medieval Europe'". The shorthand of "Byzatian intrigues" doesn't line up with Star Wars concepts. Please remove Byzatian intrigues and elaborate on this concept in the Stability section.
History: Please link both Darth Belia and the Mecrosa Order here.

Please let me know if you have any questions and I'll do my best to answer them, I know this is a lot to take in. Please also tag me once you've made the necessary edits.
 
I tried to do the changes you suggested. Apologies for using "Byzantian intrigue". In my native language it is a common phrase.^^ The religion was accidental under culture

Ylla Caeli'runa

Damned! forgot to save!


But now the changes are saved^^
 
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Ylla Caeli'runa

Guest
Y
Adi'ka Awaud Adi'ka Awaud , thank you for making those changes and thank you for the clarification! I do have one more request before I pass this on:

  • Unexploited Resources: I see that you added the Eras of the artifacts. That's a good addition. However, for me to approve this, I'll need specific artifacts/knowledge because it's still broad. If this is left as broad as it is, anyone could say that any artifacts from those eras can be found on Grindera and that could cause an imbalance when it comes to IC Roleplay.
Once again, please tag me when you've made this change and let me know if you have any questions/need clarification! I'm here to help if you need it :D
 
I would say holocrons or lightsabers would be the levelcap. I personally do not want Kwa Gates or the lightsaber sniperrifles stacked in piles there. The most dangerous artefact would be of course the coffin of Darth Belia. As Shi'do she is a kind of Cthuluh. Dead but sleeping. The awaking I would never allow for some powerhungry player!

Could it be possible to say every artefact found should be asked for and approved by the staff?
I want to play one of the technobeasts. A kind of Battle Angel Alita, found in one of the ruins, where the Mecrosa order dumped her. So such "cyborgs" or robots could be found. Not too overpowered if the "technobeastvirus" could not be spread.
No sith alchemy shoulld be found , especially not the kind Darth Belia used. Again the Mecrosa order would have removed all such dangerous stuff and have a watchful eye on the planet, knowing what lurks there.

Altered dark side creatures will be there plenty but they are not for the taking.

Most treasures are outdated by millenia ("Look, blueprints for a top secret supershield!" "Yeah, great, they were hot before the invention of turbolasers!") Most treasures would be mundane or underpowered.

Perhaps there could be gravity weapon technology from the time of the Herglic Trade Empire (as featured in the Comic https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Star_Wars:_X-Wing_Rogue_Squadron:_The_Phantom_Affair) not so mighty of course. Perhaps a handgun with "mass effect" would beinteresting for the gun nerds at the forum.

I would prefer to hint at these secrets but I see the problem with the murder hobo players abusing them.
So it would be great to say PERHAPS there are holocrons or fancy grav weapons that had survived the looting and proscripting of Jedi, Mecrosa and the Empire.

Ylla Caeli'runa
 

Ylla Caeli'runa

Guest
Y
Adi'ka Awaud Adi'ka Awaud Sorry for the delay here,

If there are specific holocrons or lightsaber models that are either canon or have been approved in Factory that you'd like to add, be my guest! For texts and the like, as stated before, please type that they are copies of the originals rather than originals themselves.
If you'd like to sub any weapons or models that aren't canon/already subbed, of course, you're welcome to do so. But, anything listed must either be subbed or canon.

Regarding grav weapons, I've been told that those are fine as long as they are canon/subbed and are not superweapons of any kind as superweapons are against Chaos Rules.
 
Ylla Caeli'runa | Adi'ka Awaud Adi'ka Awaud

Hello there - I'll be handling your Secondary. There are just a few things to go over, but, overall it seems that you've done very good work.

1.) Location: Fondor Hex
Location: [ This can be a screenshot of the hex from the map with a marker, or you can say that it is located "in X planet's hex" and give a general description of positioning. If you intend to add this planet to the Chaos Map please review the rules thoroughly.]
  • We will need a general description of positioning as well.

2.) Major Imports: food, luxury items, hightech

  • Can you expand on what you mean by "hightech" - Do you import weapons? Ships? Computer parts?

3.) Major Exports: a wide variety of raw and raffinied ores, mostly iron and some Aurodium and chromium . In ancient times there was a goldrush for important ores for ships of that era, all stripmined today
Major Exports: [ What does the planet produce and bring to the galaxy, note that not all planets have to produce things. They can be barren or have riches yet to be discovered. Common materials and ores should just be listed (Ex. Durasteel ore), while anything special or rare should be linked. ]
  • You will need to specify which "raw and refined" ores. Anything that may be present in this world must be listed, though, only rare items need to be linked per the template. If any of these materials are "unknown" they should also be listed in the Unexploited Resources Section.
4.) Major Locations: I would suggest fleshing these out more. If more detail is provided writers will be able to fully envision what you have in mind for these cities. What are they like? What sort of buildings? Are they poor? Are they well kept? Is there a lot of greenery or is it more like Coruscant with tons of Sky Towers? Why is the Shadow Port called the Shadow Port?

It's a good start.
It just needs a little more.

5.) Religion: Tapani leader cult and jedi philosophy tainted by ancestor whorship and the slightly heretic philosophy of the feudal jedi of Palagia.

  • What does this mean, exactly? Unless you're extremely well-versed in these specific subjects - It won't make sense to the casual reader.
6.) Spelling/Grammar: Please sweep through the submission and check for typos that may change the meaning of what you're trying to say, or make it so that the sentence can't be understood. (Ex. "raffineries/raffinied" versus "refinery/refined")

7.) A General Suggestion: You have a lot of wonderful research and history here, however, there are a lot of references to specific events that the casual reader won't recognize. I would highly suggest going through the submission and explaining a little more about how these events relate to the planet and/or ensuring that these events are linked for easy reference.

Ex From History: The planet was given to House Mecetti for their support of the Empire.
  • Which Empire? While I suspect you're referring to Canon - SWRP Chaos has had a baker's dozen of them.
  • Most of the History takes place from the days of old. What about now?
  • We're currently in the year 858 ABY which is about 800 Years give or take ahead of the movies. Our timeline gives some information about the events that you've missed. Perhaps, try and include what happened during this timeframe?
If you need any help feel free to reach out or when you're ready for me to take another look please give me a tag. Thank you!
 
Thank you for your efforts!
And please excuse my bad English!
I tried to make changes and clearifications as you suggested. Please correct me if they are not enough or unclear still.

Could somebody please help me with 6.) Spelling/Grammar I am no native speaker and hard pressed with that^^

I need help with 1.) Location: Fondor Hex too. On Galactic scale Fondor is very close to Grindera as is the whole Tapani sector

Thanks again for the effort!

Srina Talon Srina Talon
 
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Ylla Caeli'runa

Guest
Y
Adi'ka Awaud Adi'ka Awaud , I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get back to you! I'll be sure to help you though this today, I'll be combing through and highlighting things that need to be changed for the spelling and grammar part of the sub.

For the Location, you said it perfectly! Just simply add that it's to the north/south/west/east of Fondor to give an idea of exactly where it would be and that should cover that part!
 

Ylla Caeli'runa

Guest
Y
Hello again, Adi'ka Awaud Adi'ka Awaud ! Sooo, I've combed through the sub once more to help bridge the language differences and make things easier to read and understand in your sub. The quotes are what you've written and (of course) my edits below are what I believe should be changed. I'll also change the color of the edits I'm asking for so they're easier to spot for you as you review them. You're absolutely welcome to copy paste what I've written into the sections that need improvement if you'd like (remember to remove the color and bold font first though)!

If you have more questions or need clarification, as always, just tag me with your question!

Please tag Srina Talon Srina Talon when you're done so that she can smack that shiny approval on your sub! :D


Planetary Features

Three major cities, a ruin of a tower of Pelagian Jedi, many ancient ruins hidden in the rifts and chasms or lost in the endless tundra. There is an centuries old spy satellite network of an old paranoid lord in orbit. Aurek has an great settled crater where an strategic weapon laid vast to the city in old times. There is an institute of the University of Mrlst and of House Reena exploring the ruins and ancient history of the planet. An old flying citadel in a chasm rumored to be home of a crime lord. A crawling mobile town called Cherek, being a shadow port and an unofficial fourth city of ore smugglers and pirates
My Edits:
Grindera has three major cities, a ruin of a tower of Pelagian Jedi, and many ancient ruins. The ruins are hidden in the rifts and chasms or lost in the endless tundra. There is a spy satellite network of an old paranoid Lord in orbit of the planet that is a few centuries old. Aurek has an settled crater where a strategic weapon laid waste to the city in old times. There is an institute of the University of Mrlst and of House Reena tasked with exploring the ruins and ancient history of the planet. An old flying citadel in a chasm rumored to be home of a crime lord is said to be hidden on Grindera. A crawling mobile town called Cherek serves as a shadow port and is the unofficial fourth city of ore smugglers and pirates.

Aurek

The capital city and oldest settlement at the aequator, linked by monorails to the two other major cities. It is also the most modern looking city, because it was rebuild nine centuries ago after a terrostic attack with weapons of mass destruction. It also has some skyscrapers. The traditional bluiding style is more suburbian with robust and small buildings because of quakes and the high gravity. The noble owned space port in the govermental district is for military and diplomatic use only. Most buildings are aof native red sanstone or black basalt. Some very old structures of rusty metal. The general image of all cities and towns of Grindera are that of seemingly hewn out of the rock of the planet. Aurek has the dubious honor to be also a prestige city planned by megalomaniacs with many buildings reflecting the boasting greatness of the regime. There is a great arena for sport events and the occasional duel too. Becuase of the monolithic basalt palace and goverment skyscrapers Aure is called "The Black city" by locals.
My Edits:
The capital city and oldest settlement at the equator, Aurek is linked by monorails to the two other major cities. It is also the most modern looking city, because it was rebuilt nine centuries ago after a terrorist attack with weapons of mass destruction. It also has some skyscrapers. The traditional building style is more suburban with robust and small buildings because of quakes and the high gravity. The noble owned space port in the goverment district is for military and diplomatic use only. Most buildings are made of native red sandstone or black basalt. Some of the older structures are made of rusty metal. The general image of all cities and towns of Grindera are that have been seemingly hewn out of the rock of the planet. Aurek has the dubious honor to be also[strike through "also"] a prestige city planned by megalomaniacs with many buildings that boast the greatness of the regime. There is a great arena for sport events and the occasional duel too. Because of the monolithic basalt palace and government skyscrapers, Aurek is called "The Black City" by locals.

Besh

Manay cantinas, gambling halls and houses of ill repute are found here drawing attention with fancy holo sign. Because of these signs the city is called "The multicoloured city".
My Edits:
Many cantinas, gambling halls and houses of ill repute are found here drawing attention with fancy holo sign. Because of these signs, the city is called "The multicoloured city".

Cresh

The food production center of the planet in the nothern hemisphere. Very Rural and a town of ranchers and seminomad herders. The houses are flat and are widely spread. I the center many huge greenhouses exist making Cresh to the "Green City" in local opinion.
My Edits:
The food production center of the planet in the nothern hemisphere. Cresh is very rural, it is a town of ranchers and semi-nomad herders. The houses are flat and are widely spread. In the center, many huge greenhouses exist. This makes Cresh the "Green City" in local opinion.

History

Sages believe Grindera was discovered and settled by a semimythical explorer named Lorenz as the Calypsa Route was trailblazed many thousand years ago. Life was harsh on the forbidding world and still the rich ore deposit lured many desperate or foolish settlers. In the first centuries the planet changed hands many times especially between today extinct houses. Grindera soon became a haven for cosairs and pirates.
My Edits:
Sages believe Grindera was discovered and settled by a semi-mythical explorer named Lorenz as the Calypsa Route was trailblazed many thousands of years ago. Life was harsh on the forbidding world and still the rich ore deposit lured many desperate or foolish settlers. In the first centuries, the planet changed hands many times especially between today extinct houses. Grindera soon became a haven for corsairs and pirates.
Some 5000 years ago the Jedi Lords of Pelagia Province put an end of the lawless pirate realms on the red planet. They used it as a penality colony for the defeated enemies and their own criminals alike deporting misfits and lawbreaker to Grindera. Today the people are still proud of many legendary rebel or mildmannered criminal becoming a folk hero standing up against the fascistic imagined jedi rule.
My Edits:
Some 5000 years ago, the Jedi Lords of Pelagia Province put an end of the lawless pirate realms on the red planet. They used it as a penal colony for the defeated enemies and their own criminals alike, deporting misfits and lawbreakers to Grindera. Today, the people are still proud of many legendary rebels or mild mannered criminals becoming folk heroes standing up against the fascistic imagined Jedi rule.
In the dark times 3000 years ago the horrendous war between the evil Darth Belia and the Tapani led to her destruction by the Sith assassins of the Mecrosa Order and the secret entombment of the dead but still living master of corrupted life on the backwater world of Grindera right under the nose of the haughty jedi feudals. The Mecrosa rightly believed that their own enemies would effectively guard Darth Belia and her mad constructs better than their own depleted agents.
My Edits:
In the dark times, 3000 years ago, the horrendous war between the evil Darth Belia and the Tapani led to both her destruction by the Sith assassins of the Mecrosa Order and the destruction of the secret entombment of the dead but still living master of corrupted life on the backwater world of Grindera right under the nose of the haughty jedi feudals. The Mecrosa rightly believed that their own enemies would effectively guard Darth Belia and her mad constructs better than their own depleted agents.
After the Year Zero the Tapani sector did what it always do when central powers falter. It mined the few passways into their nebula, ordered many new warships at Fondor and became an isolated eager provider of strategic vital ore for all sides again. The Pelagian Shadow Jedi and the Mecrosa order diverted their attention from fighting another to protect the sector against their "allies" in the shifting power struggles. Old mining worlds like Grindera slowly became very rich and important again.
With the rise of the Conferacy the Sector and Grindera even got richer again, carefully not taken part directly in silly military adventures of the inept capitalists and their inefficient droid armies. The arrogant and scheming nobles of Tapani had 13 000 years experience to hold mighty powers at bay and prosper in the meantime.
Meanwhile unchecked by the Jedi the grave of Darth Belia grew into a nexus, waiting to be discovered and to spill its dark treasures, secrets and horrors over the lucky explorers and the doomed galaxy...
My Edits:
After the Year Zero, the Tapani Sector did what it always does when central powers falter. It mined the few passageways into their nebula, ordered many new warships at Fondor, and became an isolated, eager provider of strategic vital ore for all sides again. The Pelagian Shadow Jedi and the Mecrosa order diverted their attention from fighting another to protect the sector against their "allies" in the shifting power struggles. Old mining worlds like Grindera slowly became very rich and important again.
With the rise of the Confederacy, the Sector and Grindera even became rich again, carefully not taking part directly in silly military adventures of the inept capitalists and their inefficient droid armies. The arrogant and scheming nobles of Tapani had 13,000 years experience to hold mighty powers at bay and prosper in the meantime.
Meanwhile, unchecked by the Jedi, the grave of Darth Belia grew into a nexus, waiting to be discovered and to spill its dark treasures, secrets and horrors over the lucky explorers and the doomed galaxy...
 
Srina Talon Srina Talon | Ylla Caeli'runa

Good work you pair. There are just a few more things to clear up.

1.) Major Exports:

Bauxite, Chromite, Ilmenite, beryl and tantalite aren't really all that common. Please link them.

What important ship ore are you referring to?

Major Exports: a wide variety of ore, mostly iron, bauxite, chromite, Ilmenite and some Aurodium and chromium, silver, beryl and tantalite. In ancient times there was a goldrush for important ores for ships of that era, all stripmined today
Major Exports: [ What does the planet produce and bring to the galaxy, note that not all planets have to produce things. They can be barren or have riches yet to be discovered. Common materials and ores should just be listed (Ex. Durasteel ore), while anything special or rare should be linked. ]

2.) Major Locations: This section is much better, but, I think something went wrong with the code? There's a strange strike-through in this section.
Aurek said:
Aurek has the dubious honor to be also[strike through "also"] a prestige city planned by megalomaniac

Otherwise - This is much improved.

Give me a tag when you're ready for me to take another pass.
 
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