Going Viral: The Return of the Gulag Plague

[Jack Sparrow]

Obroa-skai
Celebratus Archive


Captain Jack Sparrow, Galactic Republic Senator from Kashyyyk, stood before Teeqo, the Chazrach Chief Librarian (Em-Seven Beta section, B439211H-B44870Z inclusive). The five foot, four inch reptilian wrung his clawed, green-brown hands together, nodding as if in agreement with his own discomfort.

"It's organic, you see," said Teeqo.

"Ah. Well, let me see if I understand you correctly, Mr. Teeqo. You're telling me that this grand galactic library has, in its medical reference section, a subsection dedicated to the collection of viruses from throughout time, and throughout the galaxy."

"Yes, Captain. Essentially correct."

"Essentially?" asked Jack, his head cocking to one side. "How essentially, exactly? I'd think you either have a subsection dedicated to the collection of viruses from throughout time and throughout the galaxy, or you do not have."

The Chazrach nodded. "We do."

"And one of those viruses has now been reported missing?"

"Discovered."

"Discovered missing?"

"Ess--"

"Ah ah ah," interjected Jack, raising a finger.

"Not missing, Captain, exactly. Stolen. We've called in a Jedi investigator."

"No!" said Jack, looking crestfallen. "Why would you do that?"

The Chazrach's shoulders slumped. "It was not me, Captain. It was Third Archivist Mumm Thurly who called the Jedi. Or a Jedi, specifically. He knows her from somewhere."

"Her?" asked Jack, a bit more interested.

"Whereas I contacted you, of course, Captain, because of...well." The Chazrach looked at the floor.

Jack nodded. "Your sister's desire to see Obroa-skai return to the Republic, and to serve as its senator. You're quite loyal to your family, Mr. Teego. It's commendable. And exploitable."

"We need your help, Captain. If word gets out that a sample of the Gulag Virus has been stolen---"

"The Gulag Virus?" barked Jack, taking a step back.

--"our reputation will be ruined!"

Jack shifted his weight and leaned forward conspiratorially, "Mate, if someone figures out a way to replicate the Gulag Virus, your reputation may be the only bloody thing that survives." He pondered for a moment. "This is the same Gulag Virus that wiped out half of the galactic population some four hundred years ago, yes?"

"Ess...yes."

"Yes. And if I recover this for you, you, the library, the planet of Obroa-skai, and the whole bloody universe will be forever in my debt, yes? And it's pretty bloody likely Obroa-skai will consent to join the Galactic Republic?"

"Most assuredly, Captain."

Jack wrinkled his nose, finally huffing out a breath. "Very well, Mr. Teego. You've got yourself a deal. Now let's go look at what librarians consider to be what we in the pirate captain trade refer to as 'evidence.'"

[member="Tionne Thanewulf"]

 

[Zonia Kalranoos]

This was not the first time Tionne Thanewulf set foot in the Celebratus Archive, having spent a good deal of her late teens meticolously studying to become a xenobiologist. The repository contained over a million of biological specimen, including genetic material of extinct species. Some of the rarest species were even filed by the Coruscanti Jedi as she came across new life-forms while roaming the galaxy as Watchman. A part of her was glad to see the Archives were still operational as place of ultimate worship of knowledge; perhaps there was still some hope for the galaxy.

"How did you find me?" the redhead inquired, comfortably seated at back of the speeder car heading towards the Archives. On the other side, a nervous Chazarach twitched in his seat.
"We needed a Jedi. Only a Jedi can help." said Third Archivist Mumm Thurly whilst tapping his clawed fingers against the durasteel interior. So irritating.
"I've only been in the Order a short while, after returning from a very long....trip. And let's face it - you do not have the intelligence or connections at your disposal to be able to retrieve information about my return much before anyone else in this galaxy. So, mr.Thurly, be so kind and spare me the kindergarten logic."
Still under shock that theft occured under his watch, Mumm shook his head as he tried to explain the circumstances when the sample was stolen.
"Name was on it."
"What name?" the Jedi quizzed.
"Your name, Master Jedi. Are you not Tionne Thanewulf?"
"I am." she confirmed with a perplexed look - "But I never deposited anything like it with the Archives."
"You did." said the Chazarach and extended her the log. Grey eyes skimmed the document briefly, only to find her own handwriting and fingerprint sealing the file. Last date accessed was somewhere in fourth century ABY.
Impossible. A mistake perhaps? An information system glitch?
Thanewulf peered through the window and into lake they were crossing to arrive to the Archives. She sunk in her seat, in deep thought and with a worried look on her otherwise fair face.

***​

"Surveillance tapes, logs, list of all your archivers, I need it all." Tionne proclaimed as she barged into the meeting room, confidently striding to the viewport - "Also, unprecedented access to each and every data section you have on record. I do not care if it is confidential or not."
Mumm walked after her, trying to keep up with her brisk pace. Thanewulf took off her gloves and slid them across the table non-challantly, then stood by the viewport and crossed arms over her chest, with leather of her dark brown jacket ominously creaking. Her steel gaze then fell upon the human mop and yet another jittery Chazarach. Reading through the Republic records paid off; the Coruscanti instantly recognized the senator of Woookie homeworld, a man with the reputation of a worn-out, reeking old sock. While others found scruffiness of pirates charming, Tionne thought poorly of them due to their opportunism and disregard for greater good. Only the heavens knew how rose to become a Republic senator.

"No politicians." the Jedi stated in utmost determination - "No. He takes the first nerf transport to Onderon."

[member="Jack Sparrow"]