Feedback: Kathryn

[Kathryn Foster]

New character of mine and I'm very appreciative of any feedback on her profile, as I haven't started writing with her yet. Seeing peoples creative, in-depth and lenghty bio's and beautiful profile layouts makes me want more!

 

[Jsc]

So far so good.

Here's some ideas I had while reading,

1. Ditch the % ratios on her species. We don't actually need to know a direct mathmatical percentage of her blood. Especially if she doesn't possess any racial abilities.
2. Strengths are pretty mello IMO. Which is fine.
3. Weaknesses, ha. Being a wild card and having a golden heart are super not weaknesses. Especially if they've never affected her flight record her whole career. Lulz. Nah girl. Give her like, an allergy to wheat, a dying hatred of wolves, or bad eyes without glasses. Remember, you get mad respect as a writer for writing a character with real-real weaknesses.
4. Republic Flight Academy at Cardia. Just drop the "Republic" part and you're golden here.

 

[Kathryn Foster]

Thanks! Working on it!

 

[Matsu Ike]

I rarely do posts like this and I see you want feedback on the bio but... in all honesty. Bio's mean little in some cases, they can be as important as you want them to be but some people will barely look at your history. THey'll look at your age, gender, your playby for appearance or how you describe them in the thread. All of that back story and history matters to you, mine matters more to me but someone you meet an an rp likely won't read beyond the surface to get an impression. Your writing, your threads are what will draw people in first... then maybe they will look at your bio fully and go "hey I like this or that."