Feedback 2.0

[RC 212]

I'm trying to write Karren as a struggling but stalwart Old timey Jedi Padawan getting more and more militarized the more encounters with the dark side she has. How am I doing? Right now she transitioned from Order to more unaligned Rogue. I am trying to do her storyline slowly in a way that makes sense. I'd like some more feedback folks if you can. Again.

What do you like about the character?

What do you not like?

What Can I improve?

Please answer all three. Thanks folks.

 

[Causstik Rahn]

I'm more of a guide lines kinda guy, because rules piss me off. So, don't tell me what to do. But I love Karren, because she seems so unstable. It's realestic. A padawan is probably not going to be some serene noble figure right off the bat and I like where you're taking her. The more she sees the bad in the galaxy the harder she becomes because of it. It's a good arc and so far I've enjoyed being a part of it. (Even if it wasn't a very pivotal role)

[member="Karren Trask"]

 

[Zak Dymo]

[member="Karren Trask"]

I'd echo what [member="Causstik Rahn"] said above. I'm happy to have had the opportunity to write with you as part of your telling of Karren's story.

I like the portrayal. She's driven, but not a zealot. She has limits. It's real in the sense of her being frustrated by the self-imposed limitations, be they moral, religious/philosophical, or otherwise. She seems like someone who is trying to discover who she is, or who she wants to be. And I think there's something in that which is easy to relate to from an audience perspective.

No dislikes.

My one suggestion for improvement would be to explore your setting or surroundings with a little more detail. You're good at handling your character both externally and internally, but I don't often get a sense of the depth of the scene around her.