Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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Approved Species Extramaton

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Liliane

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L
gabe-rose-gaberose151.jpg
(armoured Extramaton aka the typical Extramaton - made by Gabe Rose)​

Name: Extramaton
Designation: Sentient
Homeworld: Exagora
Language: Extressen, Galactic Basic Standard
Average height of adults: 1.8 metres
Skin colour: All human skin colours
Hair colour: All human hair colours.
Breathes: Type I

Strengths:
Natural Telepathic Abilities - Extramaton have natural abilities at reading other people's minds and influence them (although that ability requires training). However, they are unable to read the minds of their speciesmates.
Incredible Mental Abilities - Extramaton are gifted at thinking and logic. They are do mostly academic intellectual jobs and their average IQ is higher than the average human's.

Weaknesses:
Physically Weak - Extramaton are physically relatively weak due to not doing much of exercise. That means in battle, they are a lot more useless than the average human.
Incredible Difficulty at Interacting with Other Species - Extramaton, although they are very human-like, are very ugly and typically wear clothes that hide their appearance, sometimes even to the degree of making themselves durable armour so that their hideous appearance wouldn't be seen. This feature makes interaction with other species very difficult.
Very Small FU-to-NFU Ratio - Extramaton FU-to-NFU ratio is incredibly low, meaning only very few members of the species are able to use the Force. It's also been noted the ability to use the Force is very difficult to inherit by Extramaton children.
Unable to Breed with Other Species - Extramaton DNA and chromosomes are unique and have a part to them which makes Extramaton unable to breed with any other species, making it impossible for anybody to be a hybrid of Extramaton and some other species, even through genetic engineering. This is a weakness due to the fact that the species is highly mutated as an aftermath of the Gulag Virus and if they cannot breed with the more perfect genes of other species, they may start closing their extinction.

Distinctions: Extramaton are very much like humans, sharing practically the same anatomy and structure with them. Although Extramaton are considered extremely ugly when compared to most other species. Their appearance is mostly a mix of bad genes and it varies greatly -- their faces tend to look awful and displeasing (have unevenly sized eyes, humongous ears, nonexistent noses, etc.), their skins are not in a very good state, in rarer occasions, even their limbs could be uneven, very rare mutations could make people look a lot like zombies.
Average Lifespan: 80 GSY
Races: The same as human races
Estimated Population: 11.4 billion practically only found on the planet of Exagora
Diet: The same as human diet
Communication: Verbal, written, holocommunication

Culture:
Exagora and its species are extremely well-developed and highly cultural, spending a lot of time philosophising, studying and making art. Every establishment and settlement on the planet typically has some kind of a library and schools for all ages to provide every person on the planet with what Exagori culture thinks should be granted -- a way of learning and educating. A huge percent of the planet's citizens work in academic fields, hinting more to the fact that these people like thinking more than acting.

The planet is united under one government which holds the same name as the planet itself. The government would be classified as a presidential republic, although the Supreme President's power is practically endless. The legislation of the government is in the hands of the Parliament of Exagora which consists of three houses and has a total of 75 members who occasionally have parliament-wide discussions as a council in the planet's capital Vulnar. The executive power is in the hands of the Supreme President, although he also has a Prime Minister who controls the ministries of the government. The judicial power is in the hands of the Court of Justice.

The daily life of the planet's inhabitants is quite complex as the younger citizens typically go to school and have very detailed schedules and those who have found themselves a job mostly handle very rigorous matters. Like mentioned, most of the people living on the planet do academic work while droids handle the agriculture, mining, production and other services, a small proportion of them also serving in the military. It is common for a person to spend their free time in the numerous museums and libraries of the planet.

Speaking of museums and libraries, there are many of them on the planet. As the planet focuses heavily on culture and arts, it has a huge amount of art galleries and museums which provide people the essential boost of inspiration and culture. All art- and culture-related buildings are free to visit, as per Exagori Civil Rights Law which states every person must be able to be cultured and educated.

As people live a rather stationary life and do more thinking than moving, sports are nearly non-existent, although people enjoy watching how other people play sports. The only sports Exagori people themselves do are those which need a lot of thinking, e.g chess. They, however, have a military which, most of the time, has absolutely nothing to do. Although being extremely large in size, its members typically live daily life and it's nearly impossible to tell if a member of the society is serving in the military.

Society of the planet is rather accepting and tolerating to a certain degree. The planet is not an utopia it looks like. Civil rights are held dear, although the universal rights of the planet are lacking. Besides the rights for education and culture, there is no real work done against poverty, unemployment, lack of transportation, housing problems and lack of food. Emotionally, people are living a happy life as per studies and research (with 86% of people replying they are feeling successful and enjoy their lives (studies didn't include economic success)).

People of the planet are generally tolerant about race, species, cultural differences, gender and sex, sexuality and religion, although there are many people who do not feel like different people should be protected yet, but they are moving towards accepting people as well. Political ideals, however, are things people do not often talk about due to a huge amount of abuse and harassment in case of being different. Government of the planet is also very eager to shut down all rebellions and difference in political views. People do not have a lot of political rights, all speeches against the current political state of the planet are censored.

Exagora doesn't have a Force-user order, though. Force-sensitivity is widely ignored and if a person does know they are sensitive to it, they typically find a way to educate themselves about it away from the planet either independently or via joining a faction which trains Force-users. The people and government of Exagora do not have preferences about it and are neutral in these matters.

Technology level: Galactic average

General behaviour:
Like mentioned in the Culture section, Extramaton are rather tolerant people when it comes to everything else but politics. In general, these people come off as friendly and understanding, but not always that kind. Any conversation with a non-Extramaton is seen as a great achievement because the people are often ignored and harassed due to their strange ugliness. But if anybody mentions politics, Extramaton try to make their way out of the conversation. They don't accept any other political ideals than their own and not so rarely, go into physical fights due to that. With their power of influencing minds, they also try to make others follow the same political ideals than they themselves do.

History:
The beginning of the planet and life on it are practically the same as every other planet. However, the most important parts of history begin at about 200 BBY when the planet and its numerous cities and establishments started forming alliances. People of all continents started bonding and forming allegiances until at 47 BBY, most of the planet was divided between two major kingdoms: the cliché evil Àndruil Kingdom and the cliché good Rethum Kingdom. The two started a war, both of them wanting to have all the power of the planet.

The war lasted for a long time and many people died until the planet was hit by the Gulag Virus which destroyed a huge amount of the planet's people. After the Four Hundred Year Darkness, all people who had lived during the two kingdom era had died and the new generations wanted to live a happy life together. So they formed the Republic of Exagora which was ruled by the Supreme President who slowly turned into an Absolute Monarch. The head of state title became hereditary.

In the upcoming years, the planet made it through a huge cultural advancement. Although the planet had been extremely well-developed at this subject even before, cultural advancement hit the all-time high at 844 ABY and the Golden Age of Culture on Exagor began.

Notable Player-Characters: None yet
Intent: To create a new interesting species for the SWRP: Chaos community for people to explore and use. And well, whatever else they want to do.

jake-moon-queen-of-the-country-destroyed_zpszdor05jy.jpg
(unarmoured example of the appearance of Extramaton - made by Jake Moon)​
 
[member="Lilin Imperieuse"]
Alright, I like the general concepts you used and commend you on your submission. However, I did highlight some key things below that I think should be addressed. If you have any questions or want some help brainstorming, please don't hesitate to post or contact me privately!


General
Lilin Imperieuse said:
Estimated Population: 33.8 billion, practically only found on the planet of Exagora
Did you mean million here? On a planet roughly the same size as Earth, there is no possible way for this population to be sustainable.


Strengths/Weaknesses
Lilin Imperieuse said:
Natural Telepathic Abilities - Extramaton have natural abilities at reading other people's minds and influence them (although that ability requires training). However, they are unable to read the minds of their speciesmates.
I was just wondering if there was a reason they cannot communicate telepathically with members of their species as typically the similarity in species enhances the telepathic connection. Once you have a solid reason this would also make a great addition to the list of weaknesses.

Lilin Imperieuse said:
Incredibly Ugly - Extramaton, although they are very human-like, are very ugly and typically wear clothes that hide their appearance, sometimes even to the degree of making themselves durable armour so that their hideous appearance wouldn't be seen. This feature makes interaction with other species very difficult.
This isn't exactly a weakness due to the vast array of interspecies encounters within our universe. Even if they are truly ugly by a universal galactic standard, an internal standard of beauty would likely develop out of the necessity to find mates, etc..
What you might say here instead is that the primary weakness is their anti-social tendencies which stem from negative perceptions of their appearance from most other species. Something to consider.

Lilin Imperieuse said:
Unable to Breed with Other Species - Extramaton DNA and chromosomes are unique and have a part to them which makes Extramaton unable to breed with any other species, making it impossible for anybody to be a hybrid of Extramaton and some other species, even through genetic engineering.
As long as there was sufficient genetic diversity within their species, I don't see this being a real weakness for the species. On the other hand, if there was not a lot of genetic diversity in the species and due to that there were a lot of deformities and mutations, I think that could significantly weaken a species. Give this some thought and let me know where you get. Happy to help flush this idea who with you!


Appearance/Health
Lilin Imperieuse said:
Distinctions: Extramaton are very much like humans, sharing practically the same anatomy and structure with them. Although Extramaton are considered extremely ugly when compared to most other species.
In general, I think it would be good if you took some time to explain. The image is alright, thought doesn't seem to convey what you want it to. Let us know exactly what makes these creatures so repugnant that other species can't stand to look at them. What features are so rare that they wouldn't be recognized as symbols of status or beauty for other species? I don't have many ideas on this, but am happy to offer my suggestions.

Lilin Imperieuse said:
As people live a rather stationary life and do more thinking than moving, sports are nearly non-existent,
Due to this stationary and relatively inactive sort of life, do many members of the species suffer from health problems such as obesity or blood deficiencies? How do they supplement the inherent lack of physical activity associated with life on the planet? What sort of diet supports this lifestyle? It could be an incredibly high metabolism or they could be vegetarians or even a bit like snakes needing to eat very infrequently.


Security/Defense
Lilin Imperieuse said:
Like mentioned, most of the people living on the planet do academic work while droids handle the agriculture, mining, production and other services.
Lilin Imperieuse said:
They, however, have a military which, most of the time, has absolutely nothing to do.
This one sort of melds health and defense. You mention in one phrase that they rely heavily on droids and I commend you for that because such advanced cultures would understandably have the necessary capability to do so. However, I also understand the need for this species to have a military, but it is understandably difficult to explain the military arm of a largely physically inactive and docile race. Why not have their droid work extend into military service? I think this would be the best of both worlds for the species.

Lilin Imperieuse said:
Government of the planet is also very eager to shut down all rebellions and difference in political views
I'll mention this quote here and in general culture with different suggestions. Here I would just pose the question of how the government puts down these rebellions and would again suggest you consider droid service. It would explain much of what was left unanswered!

Lilin Imperieuse said:
Although being extremely large in size, its members typically live daily life and it's nearly impossible to tell if a member of the society is serving in the military.
This is part health and part military. I was just wondering why exactly the larger size developed? Is this a bit like in a colony of ants where different worker classes grow to different sizes due to feeding habits? Or is it because of some level of physical training? Only consider this if you decide to stick with a civilian military, naturally.
Retracted, the wording of this led to a misunderstanding on my part.

Culture (General)
Lilin Imperieuse said:
People of the planet are generally tolerant about race, species, cultural differences, gender and sex, sexuality and religion, although there are a lot of people who do not feel like different people should be protected
This statement reads a little bit non-committal almost. While on the one hand, of course every species will have one or two splinter groups that will develop unique ideas about these things, it's important to remember that in the culture section you are trying to give the species a specific flavor by defining the general values held by the society at large. Not a big issue, but I would tweak this.

Lilin Imperieuse said:
Government of the planet is also very eager to shut down all rebellions and difference in political views
In a species that rarely questions the government or expresses political views, is this a norm or a splinter cell occurrence? If it is the latter, I would specify the norms verses these abnormalities.


Civil Rights (Specific)
Lilin Imperieuse said:
Civil rights are held dear, although the universal rights of the planet are lacking. Besides the rights for education and culture, there is no real work done against poverty, unemployment, lack of transportation, housing problems and lack of food.
Lilin Imperieuse said:
Political ideals, however, are things people do not often talk about due to a huge amount of abuse and harassment in case of being different. Government of the planet is also very eager to shut down all rebellions and difference in political views. People do not have a lot of political rights, all speeches against the current political state of the planet are censored.
These statements are inherently a little contradictory. Civil rights are the freedoms to live without infringement from other people, governments, or social organizations. They also guarantee ones right to participate freely in political and social spheres without being repressed or discriminated against. So, you would need to drastically alter what you have thus far to either specify which sort of rights are supported and to further explain why people accept political oppression (especially such a highly educated and cultured people.)

To tack onto what I said above without applying it to any one particular statement, I wanted to reiterate that it might be difficult for you to reconcile the incredibly high sophistication of this species with their seemingly inherent suppression of free speech. The other issue here is reconcile the aforementioned advancements with the relative stagnation of things like poverty, unemployment, etc.. It seems that as a society becomes more advanced they become more dedicated to addressing these "challenges." If not it might be a good idea to explain why.

Lilin Imperieuse said:
With their power of influencing minds, they also try to make others follow the same political ideals than they themselves do.
This idea gives the impression that this species has a very sinister side to them. This would certainly be an effort to undermine the civil rights of at least other species since they cannot influence their own species.


History
Lilin Imperieuse said:
cultural advancement hit the all-time high at 844 ABY and the Golden Age of Culture on Exagor began.
This might have a legitimate explanation, but in 844 ABY in Chaos history billions of people disappeared without explanation and the galaxy dissolved into chaos. What unique circumstances led this species to a Golden Age while other societies collapsed?

XOXO Cecily
 

Liliane

Guest
L
[member="Cecily de Demici"]

First of all, congratulations, good luck as a CJ and good job with pointing out these things! So, let's begin.

As the decrease of population was also requested in the plant sub, I did decrease it to 11.4 billion with the main points to higher population being the fact that Exagora is more evenly populated, is larger, has a higher population density and people also live in places Earth doesn't use for that - air, sea, underground. It is up to change to comply to the planet submission. I hope it's better now.

The natural telepathic abilities - like most special features near-humans have, are scientifically rather unexplainable. But it works about the same way as Epicanthixs' resistance to mental abilities, except in this case, the resistance applies only between Extramaton species. A way to describe it could be the combination of genetics and the Force working in a disadvantaging way. Since this is no real science and some unexplainability is typically accepted, I guess that would suit? But if you need a more scientific explanation, I would say it's caused by the same genetic code which doesn't allow them to breed with other species -- their wavelengths, just as their chromosomes, do not match with other species'. I didn't add this to the weaknesses because it's actually just a drawback of a strength rather than a separate weakness. Would you still like this to be added?

Indeed, I have worded it like that. But it works as a weakness in the way that it also slightly prevents interaction with speciesmates. I will have to use a rather cruel real world example, but I have no better way to explain it: you know the situation where a really ugly person harasses somebody who they think is not beautiful, but doesn't realise they themselves are actually the same? Well, this thing is more common in the case of this species and while they do not show it off, it does affect their behaviour with speciesmates.

The things you pointed out are actually rather close to what I thought of. They are practically a mutation - they have a hideous appearance and sometimes that brings strange mutations which could affect the species' health. If they cannot mix with the good dominant genes of a more perfect species, these mutations will carry on and every time they are inherited, they get combined with other mutations. We could say it's an aftermath of the strange Gulag Virus which affected their genes this way, if you would require a more specific explanation.

Their appearance is mostly a mix of bad genes and it varies greatly -- their faces tend to look awful and displeasing (have unevenly sized eyes, humongous ears, nonexistent noses, etc.), their skins are not in a very good state, in rarer occasions, even their limbs could be uneven, very rare mutations could make people look a lot like zombies. But this varies greatly, like I said, and the things I brought up are kind of exaggerated, but that's a way to describe what they look like.

Indeed, the members of this species do not tend to be extremely healthy. While their bodies have started evolving to compromise for the lack of activity, a lot of them are obese, have heart problems or something else. But a lot of people also do not eat in huge portions and the activity they do (walking from a place to another, lifting things, whatever other activity) burns the calories and fat, remaining slightly more healthy. Some also have special vegetarian or similar diets which are often personalised to supply them with the things they personally need more and to reduce the things they don't.

Their tradition of fighting (although not mentioned) is a form of culture. It is a noble thing to be a member of the military, but that doesn't necessarily mean they do much as its members. They don't have droids in their armies because they don't fight that often anymore. With peace prospering on their planet, this species doesn't have civil wars and therefore, takes peace for granted. They don't look that far into the future to think they would be attacked brutally. But I have decided to add droids into their military.

While they do not have many droids in the army, they do have security guards who are androids and do the physical job. If there is a rebellion, the government shuts it down with their help.

I agree, it was poorly worded. I shouldn't have used "a lot" there. I meant more like that the most of people are tolerating, although there are many who do not act that way.

I do not quite understand your next question, though (may be caused by English not being my native language). In case your question was about if this is a normal thing or not, then the answer is -- people typically do not express their views, but that does not necessarily mean they always agree with the government. If they do feel like they are being opressed or in any other way offended, they will stand up although it is obvious they will be shut down.

Now, the next one is a difficult nut to crack. Our civil rights and their civil rights are not the same -- what is a right for us may not be the same for them or vice versa. Like I mentioned, the civil rights for them are having education and culture, which are the essential parts of their culture and behaviour. If approached by a citizen of, let's say, Coruscant, they may think Extramaton are incredibly oppressed and not socially developed at all. But that is their culture. What they consider rights doesn't include political freedom. They elect their legislation, but they are not at all able to speak up in politics. It's a totalitarian dictatorship/absolute monarchy which takes off people's attention from social problems and points them at the fact that they are culturally and educationally rising. Perhaps my description was not the best and I have a slight misunderstanding of your question, but in short, they do not think participation in politics should be taken for granted like we have became used to thinking.

Perhaps they are to be used that way, but as a reminder, the ability of influencing a person's mind should be trained and it's not that a person of this species is able to magically make masses change their minds. It works more as a tool of making a person think differently for a moment (although continuous effect can affect one's mind completely). :p

Well, that happened before the Netherworld event and continued after it. As many people disappeared during it, the Golden Age was interrupted and it was starting to look like a disaster. But after people started to be able to come back through the various rifts, they slowly managed to continue where they left off. They are still recovering from the aftermaths of the event, but those who were left behind have not stopped living due to many people just disappearing.

I hope this cleared some things up, but there was so much information in your post that I may have misread something or we could have some kind of a mutual misunderstanding. If that's the case, I will do everything to fix things and make the submission more logical.
 
[member="Lilin Imperieuse"]
As long as everything you mentioned in you above post is applied to the sub (which from my reading it has been) then I will go ahead and approve it.

Awaiting secondary approval.
[member="valiens nantaris"]
 
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