Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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 Everybody's doing it!(yes... critique me too)

RockVin_081116_1280.jpg

I havnt written with you all too much but this is what i can say from what ive seen so far. Caltin Vanagor Caltin Vanagor I like your style. Inner dialouge, the way the character conducts himself as a Jedi or lightsider. Its classic but very much has its own style to it and its great.
 
Having observed Caltin for a long time, and now having written with you for a bit I feel I can provide some feedback. He's a boulder of a man and electrifying to watch. Imposing and intimidating. But that's just on the surface. He's got depth and layers that if you spend more than five minutes around really shines through. Polished like a diamond, he's been through a lot, and while he might have his flaws, perfection is boring.

That rocky exterior conceals beneath a surprising intellectual component, and a good heart that's been through a lot of really rough crap.

Writing wise, you're pretty solid, barring minor mistakes. Usually from either being in a hurry or not proofreading. But that's easy to overlook with the otherwise high quality you consistently put out. Writing with you is generally fun, entertaining, and you know how to both construct a narrative and plot, but also move that plot forward, while providing challenges as well. Everything a good writer should do.
 
Hey! I haven't been back on the site for very long and you and I have sort of just posted near each other and not with each other. That being said since you asked for feedback I will give you mine for whatever it is worth.

Every time I check out your stuff, I like it more and more. The archetype you have for Big Cal (a man out of time) had me prepared for a character that is far less put together than you write Caltin. I very much enjoy the maturity and conviction you present him with, there is a way to write that character that would be much more dour and from what I've seen you don't tend to go there and that is refreshing.

It is clear that you have a very strong handle on Cal as a character and when you write, you can feel the history you have with the character.

I'm sorry I don't have more "negative" things to say to help with the criticism part of this but I just thought that I'd give you my thoughts of the character I've seen so far.

Caltin Vanagor Caltin Vanagor
 

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