Even cold-fish need friends...

[Corvus Raaf]

Corvus listened. Arguments and key points that had baffled historians for countless centuries.

“Sadly there are no correct answers, just opinions.” Corvus shifted in her seat. “My view? We were fighting Sith a thousand years ago and we’ll be fighting them in another thousand. Neither side is necessarily stronger. After all, we strive to bring balance to the galaxy – not dominate it.”

“So do I think the Sith are stronger? No, of course not. Is the path down the Dark-side a more powerful one. Certainly not – but it is an easier one. We are bound by morals and values and a Code. The Sith do what they want, take what they want and hurt who they want.”

“When it comes to emotions, the Sith suggest they are stronger because they embrace them. I’d suggest they are the weak ones – slaves to their emotions. It is, as ever, easier to give in. It’s easy to fall to the Dark-side, to blame Jedi or the Code. But people fall to the Dark-side, not the Force. And people can and will be redeemed.”

“We are opposed to the Sith not because of the Force or even the Dark-side but because of what they stand for, for what they do.”

“All I do each day when I get up is look to be the best Jedi I can. Keep truth between my heart and the Force and do what’s right. It’s a lot harder than getting up and doing what I want. But I wouldn’t have it any other way. Is a Jedi’s life for everyone? No. But it’s my life – and always shall be.”

She looked at Maria. “In your heart you’ll know it too one day. It will feel right or it will feel wrong. If the life of a Jedi is not yours then that is quite alright. You can do good without following the Code. I know so many that do…good people, and they are in so many ways Jedi in spirit. They just don’t wave around a bright stick.”

She smiled at Maria. “Am I making any sense?”

[member="Maria Natalja"]

 

[Nikolas Faselli]

"Yes, I understand you."

Corvus had given the woman a lot to think about. Her opinion about the Jedi Order and overall state of the galaxy seemed to be far more developed than hers, but she didn't care much about it that moment. Competitiveness was the least thing she would have wanted to think about at that moment. Her brain was full of thoughts, opinions, shouts.

But she couldn't organise them. They were all around the place, couldn't stand on ground.

"Now I realise what I've done. For my whole life, I've thought every little thing I did that made somebody else feel bad was just me being selfish. Maybe it was about that in some cases."

She looked at Corvus.

"Your monologue made me understand something. Leaving my family was one of the best things I could have done -- not only did I choose the nicer side of the Force, but I also gave a hope for life to people who I would have otherwise destroyed. I sacrificed those dear to me to do good deeds and let somebody else live a life to the fullest."

"I guess there is a Jedi in everybody."

Her mouth carefully formed the shape of a smile.

"Thank you, Corvus, for the valuable lesson you just gave me!"

[ [member="Corvus Raaf"] ]

 

[Corvus Raaf]

Corvus shrugged. She was inclined to monologues from time to time. “I hopefully gave you some things to think about. Any learning I suspect you will do yourself. When you have a chance to reflect on what we both said and shared.”

“Nobody is perfect and anyone that thinks they are – well they need to learn some humility in my opinion. Do I doubt what I do sometimes? Of course. But as long as I make a decision that I believe is right, I have learned not to reproach myself.”

“Don’t be Maria the Jedi. Be Maria. And if Maria is also a Jedi, that’s wonderful. Hear that from someone who learned that lesson the hard way.”

She smiled. “I’m in danger of soliloquising again…and I must remember to thank you for your advice and for simply listening to me.”

[member="Maria Natalja"]

 

[Nikolas Faselli]

Maria nodded. The talks of the traumatic things in their lives seemed to be over and not to be approached again, which was a good thing to know. Her inside was already feeling like a twirling pot of emotions which spilled out fragments of all feelings she could imagine during its movement. It didn't feel good at all. As she looked around, she felt slightly dizzy from everything going around them.

She looked at Corvus. A powerful Jedi Master -- somebody she had always desired to be. Yet now, according to her current emotions, it could have just remained that - a wish. Her thoughts of the Jedi Order had not only been shaken by that one conversation, but had become more and more shallow every moment she spent in the Temple.

She had started to doubt in her belonging to the Jedi Order.

"Thank you, Master, for listening to me and I also hope you learned something from me," she looked at her watch before she would continue, "but it looks like I'm in a hurry."

She stood up and bowed before the Master and smiled, naturally and as honestly as she could.

"It was so nice to meet you and I hope one day we will be able to talk again and perhaps even take a look back at what we talked about here and see how we've progressed. If I'm still in the Order, that is."

She laughed lightly after that and would allow Corvus to say her goodbyes before she would hurry down the corridors of the Temple and get to a starship with just one thought in her head -- I must get out of here.

[ [member="Corvus Raaf"] ]

Spoiler

And after that, she disappeared for months (which is a cover-up for why I didn't RP with her for a while) and returned to the Order with a clear mind, continuing her life as a Jedi.

 

[Corvus Raaf]

Corvus smiled. For once she allowed her emotional defences down and felt she'd done as much as she could. It was Maria's path to walk and nobody else's. She had faith her fellow Jedi would do what was right for Maria - she certainly hoped so. And if that meant she remained in the Order, she would be delighted.

And if not? She'd be equally delighted. "Thanks Maria. Until we meet again, take care and just make sure you look after yourself."

And as she watched the Jedi walk away, something told her she would return. Maybe it was the Force?

[member="Maria Natalja"]

Spoiler

And it's good that you're back