Empty Worlds

[Jairdain]

It seemed that for the last few years Jairdain had yet to settle down and stay in one place for long. A year or two here or there and then she would move again. However, there was a pattern to her movement. She would always return to either Commenor or the Silver Jedi. At first, it had been on Voss, but now it was on Kashyyyk.

However, here, she had no residence or home to call her own and stayed in the Temple at the Rest. This wasn't a bad thing by any means but it meant she had no space of her own other than her room. Not knowing for sure what was acceptable any longer, she called on her oldest friend. A man she was very still very much in love with, but unsure of what he wanted more than friendship.

Yuroic was closer to her than anybody else and she turned to him when she needed help. In the past, that hadn't happened one time and she now regretted what happened after. Not in her right mind at the time, she had run from the one person that could have been an anchor to her. It wasn't a mistake that was going to happen again.

Sending him a message with the request to meet with him in the 'normal' spot, she now waited outside in the garden for her friend.

[member="Yuroic Xeraic"]

 

[WelshGuy]

Walking back into his room, Yuroic took a quick look at his messages. He had been for his morning run, it had been a hour and so long run. He had been pretty tired by the end of the run but that was just meaning he had a good run. He was in desperate need of a shower though, the weather was cooler in the winter but he still got a sweat on. Turning on the hot water, he noticed a message from Jairdain asking to meet in the gardens. Yuroic read the message several times and tried to get a better understanding on what she wanted to meet about? Was it something to do with her son? Could be he was already possibly showing some Force tendencies. What could teach the boy that Jairdain couldn't he didn't know? Perhaps it wasn't to do with that at all.

It was all Yuroic could think about as he showered and dried his body. Dressing in a simple loose shirt and some comfortable and clean jogging bottoms. He was trying to look casual, as to avoid looking like he was trying to impress Jairdain with his attire. There had been clear signals from Jairdain that she was still interested in him but he wasn't sure where he stood with her, if there was anything and the fact she had a child with someone possibly better suited for her than him. That was one of the biggest issues, Yuroic didn't think he was the best that Jairdain deserved. He wasn't a prince, or wealthy, he was just a man with some skills in the Force. A pretty flawed man at that too.

His feet were bare so he could feel the earth between his toes. He was relaxed being in touch with nature, part of that feeling the Force flow through it. Yuroic spotted Jairdain and slowly made his way to her. Breathing in deeply, Yuroic looked at her and smiled somewhat. "Hey, so you called."

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

The woman was herself. She didn't wear typical Jedi robes any longer though. Those had been given up in her days with the Sith, among other things. Wearing worn boots, they were the only old looking thing she had on other than her ever-present and almost useless to her lightsaber. Jairdain did not dress to impress him but wore what she liked.

Dark pants with a belt that blended in with a buckle that was the same hue as her lightsaber hilt. She also had on a pink blouse and a jacket that matched her pants.

It didn't matter to her that Yuroic was a simple man. Power and wealth had never been something Jairdain craved. What she had, she had earned by her own merit and hard work. There was something about her that even she didn't fully know or understand. She wasn't ever meant to be alone in her life. Not for long periods of time, at least. And she had been alone for a very long time now and she craved, unknowingly, companionship.

So she reached out to the one person that had been present in her life the longest. The man she still loved and did not want to lose. With him not knowing what he wanted out of their relationship, Jairdain decided to go back to the beginning and start over. As best as she could.

Not at all nervous or scared about her request to meet with him, there was a purpose to it. Beyond even that of attempting to mend what they had and make it return to what it had been. Turning to face him when he found her, she gave Yuroic a smile.

"I did. Instead of turning to drink and other things this time, I decided to turn to you. I need some help, Yuroic and I feel you are the best person to provide that."

Letting out a sigh and holding a hand out to him, she hoped he would take and hold it.

"My life is again in a bit of flux and Commenor is joining the Silvers. I have my position there still and here. So I am torn on which comes first. Also, I have no idea if it's normal for a Silver to have a home here or live in the community of the Temple."

[member="Yuroic Xeraic"]

 

[WelshGuy]

Smiling as he saw Jairdain, she looked as lovely as always, dressed elegantly in his mind as he thought she looked as beautiful as always. He nodded his head and scratching the back of his head as he looked over the garden. His hand gently rested on a flower, caressing the petals of the flower. Yuroic listened to Jairdain as she talked on the merging of the Commenor to the Silver Jedi Order. It was interesting progression, he wasn't sure the whole thing going on, while he was rising within the ranks, he wasn't within the Silver Assembly so he didn't know the full concepts but he trusted the members of the assembly to allow the Commenor keep their statures and the monarchy.

"I understand, things are all a bit confusing. We are currently going through a new overhaul in terms of leadership with the departure of Jyoti and Allyson." Yuroic said, he was slightly sad that Allyson had left, he wanted to prove to be a good friend with her once more with his memories returned. On the other hand, he was happy for the couple that they decided to live their lives in peace. It was heartwarming but emphasised the loss in his own heart at the moment. Yuroic wasn't sure what he wanted but company was always nice.

Jairdain wanted to know if and where she would stay if she remained on Kashyyyk. "Well, in cases of people with families, they usually stay outer edges of the Temple with houses. I stay nearer the gardens for exercising and training, the apartments are a decent size and they can house two people." Yuroic wondered if she would be bringing her son to Kashyyyk however, he wasn't sure how comfortable she would feel living here. "There have been a few attacks here from Mandalorians and Sith, it might be safer to stay on Commenor."

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

Neither of them was high in the ranks of the Silvers, but Jairdain was very close to the Royal family of Commenor. Having been in her position as an advisor for many years and now a member of the House of Lords, she was almost royalty herself. Her rank with the Commenori was what allowed her to be involved with the move to join the Silvers. If Yuroic had any questions about it, she would try to answer them. He hadn't given any voice to anything, so she did not just speak on the matter.

As his memories of his friends came to him, Jairdain did not pry but did nod in understanding.

"It is always difficult when the hands of leadership change. I am sure it will work out though."

Listening to his answer on her question, she pursed her lips slightly and crossed her arms. Not to close him out, but it indicated she was in thought.

"I don't think I will bring Marcus here. Commenor is his home and where he is familiar. To make a sudden change might be disruptive on him at his age. Maybe when he is a little older and can get around better. As for attacks? Do you know what Commenor has gone through?"

It had been one of many reasons she had spiralled down her destructive path.

[member="Yuroic Xeraic"]

 

[WelshGuy]

Nodding as Jairdain spoke, he understood that leadership came and went, it was just so sudden that the Order hadn't the time to sort it. "Aye, they will be missed but it was good to know them and better to know they are happy and safe. Anyway, Josh is doing a good job at keeping things together. Be a lot more trouble if he wasn't around." Yuroic knew that he wouldn't have been ready to shoulder a lot responsibilities at once like Josh had. No matter how much he would dream of being in charge one day, he just wasn't the Jedi that the Order needed as a leader.

When Jairdain mentioned that she would be leaving Marcus with his family on Commenor, Yuroic was slightly shocked. "So, you won't be seeing him much? If you are staying here more? Just trying to understand the situation." Yuroic enquired as he was surprised by the notion that Jairdain wouldn't have her child around, he thought she would be a protective type of mother, always with her child. Yuroic use to think about their future and children before but he wasn't sure he was the right guy for children to be around anymore. His life was dangerous and at times very messy.

Sighing, he knew the attacks that happened on Commenor but they were not as frequent as Kashyyyk. "I was on Commenor during the Sith invasion, I was there fighting Sith on the front lines. I know the damage they did but I also know that two, while large and brutal attacks, isn't the same as the number of attacks we've had." Yuroic attempted to clear his stance on the matter. "Anyway, if it just for you then you likely be getting an apartment within the Temple."

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

Commenor had been under quite a few attacks. One she had been involved with when she was Sith...it was one Yuroic should remember. They had met as enemies and she had fled. She didn't even know if Lady Kay ever knew of her involvement.

Feeling his shock when she said Marcus would stay on Commenor. Lifting one of her hands, she wanted to point something out to him.

"He isn't as strong in the Force as I am so he is...well blind. While I would like to keep him near me, moving him from place to place might upset him. At least a little. He is unfamiliar with the grounds here."

There was a sense of thanks that came from her long before she was given the chance to voice it. Her look grew soft and she nodded. Giving him a smile, one hand came out as if she wanted to touch him and then she stopped.

"Thank you, Yuroic. I was also present on Commenor when they were attacked. You did more than I ever could."

Nodding as he said the place would be just for her, she was silent.

[member="Yuroic Xeraic"]

 

[WelshGuy]

Meeting Jairdain as a Sith was a memory that Yuroic wanted to put behind them, he tried to forget those days. She wasn't that person anymore, nor was she the Jedi that he fell in love with so many years ago. She was someone different yet the same. It was the same for Yuroic, he was different yet the same in many ways. It was another reason that he was not ready to jump back into a relationship with Jairdain, while he knew she still cared for him, he wasn't the man that she once loved, he was different, had different new problems and he doubted that she would want those problems. He still woke in blind panics and sometimes screams as he had nightmares of his parents, of his actions to them. He was dangerous and didn't think deserving of another person's affection.

Marcus was literally blind which was unfortunate, but didn't mean that it could be forever. Force could get stronger in him, even if he didn't get a stronger connection in the Force, there were other ways for him to gain sight. Similar to how losing a limb was never the end. "Well, he will ever get stronger in the Force and be capable of seeing like you or he won't and could get cybernetic eyes to see, if he so wished." Yuroic stated, hoping that it would bring comfort to Jairdain that her son won't always feel so lost and confused. It was fair to leave him somewhere he knew and could get around for now, but he knew it would be hard for Jairdain to not want to be with him always.

"Well, I can show you my room so you can get an idea for what the size and style of yours would be like?" Yuroic suggested, his was somewhat fancier than the standard apartments in the Temple but that was mostly cause he grabbed it early on when they first moved to Kashyyyk, with a missing arm, he claimed disability and demanded a good apartment.

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

What he suggested for Marcus was true, it had been offered to her. At certain times actual sight had been forced on her, but Jairdain preferred her vision the way it was. It gave her a greater insight on the person or people she was talking to. She also had Sage to be her eyes for her when she did want to see the world around her with sight.

He was her ever-present companion and rested in a pocket of her shirt that had been made for him especially. Sage was a light green Ashlan Wolf and about the size of a squirrel. Quite friendly and easy going, a bit like Jairdain herself. Probably why he had picked her.

"It is not something I take lightly and would not force it on him. If that is the choice he makes, then it will happen when he is old enough to know what he is deciding on."

Nodding when he offered to show her his own room, that hand raised to indicate she wanted Yuroic to guide her. Not so much guide her since she knew her way around the Rest well enough but to have that contact with him.

"I would like that."

[member="Yuroic Xeraic"]

 

[WelshGuy]

It was something they both agreed on that Marcus would have to make the decision on his own when he was old enough and it was possible that he wouldn't even need to make it. If Marcus gained more skill in the Force then he would be able to see like Jairdain could. Only time would tell what the future could hold for Marcus. For now, Jairdain could only just provide the care that a mother could to her child and it was clear to Yuroic would be more than enough.

She was willing to join him to visit his apartment to give her an idea on what she could expect. When the Order first moved to Kashyyyk, Jairdain was still part of the Order, however she had still remained on Voss for the most part. Yuroic couldn't help feeling sorry for abandoning the people of Voss but they couldn't help it. "So, the apartment is two storey, bedroom upstairs with a kitchen and dining room as well as a meditation room." Yuroic stated, he wanted to take her hand but he couldn't, he just wasn't ready to show that level of intimacy with her.

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

It was good they both agreed on giving Marcus his own choice when he got older. Dropping that part of the conversation, she listened to what he had to say about his place here.

Silently accepting his unspoken decline by not taking hers, she lowered it and rested it at her side comfortably.

"I am looking forward to seeing your place here. How well are you keeping it?"

From what Jairdain could remember, Yuroic had never been a good housekeeper and there was a hint of teasing in her tone. Smiling a bit at her attempt at humour, she hoped he would take the joke as she intended it.

"It sounds very nice though. Lead the way."

[member="Yuroic Xeraic"]

 

[WelshGuy]

Jairdain asked how Yuroic was doing, he turned to her as he continued to walk down the hall backwards. "I have been well, keeping busy with training my Padawan, hanging out with Asaraa and keeping busy with the Order." Yuroic looked at Jairdain, "how have you been? I am guessing this merging is tough." Change could be difficult to deal with as Yuroic knew but there were so many new options to open up with this new merger. Yuroic touched the door and unlocked the door to open it up. The room was decent sized living area, with a dining table in the middle with an open kitchen plan so that he could cook and talk if he had guests over.

Yuroic gestured Jairdain to enter first, he followed inside after her. "So this is the kitchen and dining area, you can see I have done some changes. I made it more open and rearranged it. The meditation room is on the left and the bedroom is upstairs." Yuroic stated as he moved to the kitchen and pulled out some sweet snacks that Yuroic had made previous day. "I baked these yesterday, so they should still be fresh." He smiled warmly.

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

Even though Jairdain did not remember it, there had been a time in her life where she had a hard time walking. Never mind walking backwards. She smiled at Yuroic when she noticed this about him. It told her that he was interested in talking to her. In a more personal manner than simple conversation. This gave her a small sense of hope...In a way, their future was up to him to decide. Jairdain had made it clear previously how she still felt about him.

"I've gotten much better."

The last time they had spoken, just the two of them, she had been at the start of her downward spiral. Those days were in her past and she did not want to relive them. They had traversed a similar path and both of them had come out stronger for it. While Jairdain had taken his memories from him and knew what he had done and gone through, he did not know fully what had happened with her. Maybe in time, she would tell him if he wanted to know. Not today though.

Since the only time she had spent any time on Kashyyyk, it had been with various refugees, Jairdain had no idea what the actual lodging was like here. So when he explained what he had done to his place, she shook her head. Nodding as he spoke, her focus moved to the different areas and then back to him when he offered the treats he had made.

"Thank you."

Accepting one of them, she wondered what had him feeling like he was. There was a sense of warmness from him that hadn't been present before.

[member="Yuroic Xeraic"]

 

[WelshGuy]

Jairdain mentioned that she was feeling better, he remembered that she was not doing well when they last chat privately. Jairdain had been drinking heavily at the bar, Yuroic didn't remember their history back then however, he tried to help anyway. It had been hard to see Jairdain like that, he was usually the wreck of the two of them but she had so much bad going on it was difficult not to falter. Though it was good to see that she had moved past all that and grown for it too likely. Yuroic always did when things like that happen.

Yuroic was feeling welcoming because Jairdain was his friend and he wanted to make sure she didn't feel like an outsider when staying here. While she hadn't been a significant part of the Silver Jedi Order for awhile, she was still a Silver Jedi and deserved the same welcoming that he gave all fellow Silver Jedi. Perhaps he was wanting to give Jairdain some more attention because she was important to him, but he wasn't sure. Yuroic was glad that she was enjoying his baked goods.

"I'm glad that you enjoy them. Anything you want to ask?"

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

Being as empathic as she was, Jairdain picked up on the surface emotions of Yuroic. As he felt welcoming of her, she felt warm and wanted. This made her feel happy and that might be felt by him. That was something she was never good at...keeping what she felt hidden from her face. If he did not feel it, then he would certainly see it there. It had very little to do with the fact she loved him still and everything to do with his welcome.

She ate the treat slowly and enjoyed the taste and texture.

"You have to tell me how to make these or maybe I'll make you something else that I am familiar with."

He asked if she had anything she wanted to ask. There wasn't anything personal she wanted to know about the moment, but that could change quickly. Having another question ready though she did ask it.

"What are the other layouts of the places here? You said you changed yours."

[member="Yuroic Xeraic"]

 

[WelshGuy]

"Well, I can show you sometime, though if I remember correctly I was the better cook/baker." Yuroic chuckled as he teased her, she was decent but during their relationship, Yuroic was always the one cooking. His skills gotten significantly better since then. "These are something simple in my mind, should see some of the more complex desserts and meals I have been trying to learn. I found that Alderaanian food is some of the most complex, they have such high standards, hard to make it without sweating for hours in the kitchen." Yuroic commented as he took a snack that he made and bit into it. He could feel Jairdain was happy to receive his warm welcome.

Yuroic paused as he took a seat and looked around the room. "So, the kitchen was closed off being a separate room to the dining and living areas. The meditation room was upstairs with the bathroom being downstairs. I move things around, more comfortable with the bathroom upstairs and the meditation room downstairs, so that could be a difference you see. There are apartments without a meditation room, just smaller rooms, other such things like that. It is hard to say as I haven't seen all the rooms, mostly this one, the way it was before I changed it around and the Padawan rooms from when I guide newcomers there, when I was living there and when I meet my Padawans in their rooms." Yuroic explained as he took another bite.

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

She had been quite young when they met so her cooking had not been very good. As time had passed though, it had improved. Maybe not the greatest cook, but she did well enough to keep herself and Marcus alive.

"I took some cooking lessons on Commenor..."

Chuckling at the intended joke, she finished off her bite of the snack with a smile.

"Someday, I'll make you something you've never had before!"

Listening to him describe the layout of the original rooms, she fully approved of the changes Yuroic had made. If it was just her staying in the rooms, then pretty much any size for a meditation room would be fine. Jairdain might be used to living in a palace, but it wasn't something she expected or even wanted here. With the Jedi, she was nothing more than another member and meant very little to anybody.

In thinking that thought, she realized she meant something to two people here. Asaraa and Yuroic. Both of them meant so much to her and she hoped to spend more time with each of them now.

"A meditation room doesn't need to be any more than a simple chair or cushion in a corner, but some people might want more than that. What does your room look like?"

[member="Yuroic Xeraic"]

 

[WelshGuy]

Yuroic chuckled as Jairdain argued that her cooking skills had improved since they last lived together. "Well, I look forward to that. Surprised that you didn't have servants do all the cooking for you when you were living as royalty." There was more teasing in his tone, as he stretched out, Yuroic had always been far from royalty in plenty of ways as had Jairdain been, however, she was now mother to a prince and sister to a king, it was quite the climb in term of class. Yuroic doubted he would ever become part of royalty, there was still an area of coming from a poor background on him, he was simple and refused to pay for luxury when simple and cheap was available.

On the meditation room, Yuroic shook his head, he didn't see the point in chairs and soft aesthetic that others liked. "Nah, my meditation room is wooden floors, large windows to the gardens and no chairs. I always preferred sitting on the floor, like you know." Their first meeting, Yuroic sat on the floor with a lesson taught by Jairdain. It was the way Yuroic was, he never took luxury as important, brought up with nothing luxury in his life. Small things were considered luxury that others wouldn't think were, such as this apartment was something Yuroic thought was close to a palace.

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

"I never thought of myself as nobility. Now that Kay has ended the royal family...I can no longer really consider myself close. That wasn't something I was after. It all started with me as the advisor to Bradshaw."

A bit of pain crossed her face when she mentioned him. She still felt some responsibility to him even if her job was no longer relevant. He didn't even know about his son. They had parted ways before even she had learned she was pregnant. Then Jairdain had remembered the vision she had when they met. Brad was going to go down a dark path and she had kept Marcus secret from him.

His answer brought her out of her depressing thoughts and she smiled at him. They were alike in that manner. Preferring to sit on the floor under normal circumstances. When she taught meditation classes, Jairdain always provided items for her students to sit or recline on. However, it might be noticed she always sat on the floor.

"It's the same for me actually. I think the only meditation area I had any furniture for was in Juniper City on Commenor. There is like an atrium there and it has some stone benches to sit on."

[member="Yuroic Xeraic"]

 

[WelshGuy]

Shaking his head, "don't remember your brother being king of your people then? That still makes you royalty!" Yuroic pointed out with a light smirk played on his lips as he crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair. Yuroic noted the pain in Jairdain, he could tell that she was thinking on her fiancee Bradshaw. Marcus's father as well but sadly missing since the attack on Commenor led by the Sith. It was somewhat sad for Yuroic to see her still upset over it all but there was little he could to help her through the pain. He was not good in that area, even now with all his memories of Jairdain, he could think of little to help her with that grief. Only person he felt that loss over was sitting opposite him grieving over another, hard to help get through that really, at least for him.

Smirking, Yuroic remembered their first meeting, he sat on the floor and she joined him there, stating that she preferred the ground. He hadn't forgotten that day, "I know, you mentioned preferring the hard floor for meditation during our first meeting. Helped me gain some skills in using the Force and meditating. Wasn't that skilled in the Force back then." Yuroic chuckled slightly.

[member="Jairdain"]