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Eclipstica

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Name: Eclipstica

Region: Tingel Arm
System: Shadow Realm
Suns: Theres one sun, not named. Red dwarf.
Orbital Position: Habitual.
Moons: There is one moon, it orbits the sun. Not named.
System Features: There are no planets other than Eclipstica here, there is a red ring that spirals around the planet though. Because the moons orbts the sun, the planet only has a eight hour period of light on the planet.
Coordinates: All the way above Belkadan touching the end of the Galaxy Map there.
Rotational Period: One day is 28 hours long, but theres only a 9 hour period of Sun light in a day.
Orbital Period: 450 days.
Class: Terrestrial, a tad bigger than Earth.
Diameter: 13,093 km in diameter
Atmosphere: 1
Climate: Temperate. Though thats on the main continent, and the third, and forth, each other continent has its own biome status. The Main continent (Obidia) is full of plant, plains, mountains, and other normal surface biomes. The second continent (The Scars) is a large desert full of acidic pools of water, and where a majority of the cracks, and canyons leaking dark side energy reside . The third (Black Gate) is a place of rain, and normal conditions, though it seems its constantly raining there, and the forth (Koloss) is a graveyard where the Shadow Kingdom used to reside in its formal reign. Its now is a dead civilized area with corroded buildings, and a castle. The green life is is very much dead, literally everything In this area is dead, and thus resides the shells of what used to be alive. The fifth (White Gate) is a place of snow, and ashe.
Gravity: Standard
Primary Terrain: Grassland

Native Species: Nothing lives here, yet.
Immigrated Species: Anyone willing to succumb to the dark side may come here, and rebuild, as of yet, there is no living soul on this planet, save the dark side.
Primary Languages: Basic
Government: Monarchy
Population: 0
Demonym: Shadows
Major Imports: None.
Major Exports: Most material here is of metals that can be found commonly in other areas. Also because there is no living beings here, the export doesnt really matter till a community can be established here. Fruit can also be a export if one can do this.
Affiliation: Shadow Empire (Shadow Kingdom)

Major Locations:
In Obidia there is the Five Circles, each a city whos names have long not been spoken. Each was governed by a Duke.
There is Crezten the city of metal, and stone here all the smithing was done. Every single construct, armor, weapons and whatever else was made here. Duke Reilan lived here, and was a smith himself. This city was the first to be built due to the need of resources. This was probably the most none corrupted area of the Five Circles.
Terra the city of vices, here many things would have been found to entertain someone, from gambling, lust, drinking, and killing another being. This was Sin City, this was a place not even the king was ever seen at due to all the nickname given by the builders. This was probaly the most corrupted place in Obidia, and was governed by Duke Zeko. The royals of Obidia spent much of their time here, wasting money, and being slobs.
Gren the city of farming, all the food was produced here, though fruits seemed to be the major farming here. It was safe to say that many of the people here ate a lot of vegetables, and fruits. This was governed by Duchess Siri'ola who was a personal friend of the king. This was a peaceful place, and the king would visit often to see the Duchess, and enjoy the peace. This was also the first place to be destroyed during the Darkest Hours War.
Yelisa was the city of royalty (This is where all royal blood lines come from.) When the people began to expand, Gaiden had to choose others for royal blood, most were his military, advisers, and other close friends he made here. No builder was ever of royal blood. This place was build with the best metals that could be found on he planet, and no house was a singe story. Yelisa was known to be ruled by many people, the first being Duke Geoff. The was to be Duchess Olka, but the city usurped her near the end of the inhabitants' lives.
Devias the city of this is where all the builders lived, this area was a slum, and poorly built. This was the largest of all cities for there were more builders than any other civilian. The citys were all in circles with large black walls, but Devias. Many builders died here not being needed anymore in the eyes of the royals. The king didnt come here in fear that many builders wanted him dead. This was true for this was the beginning place for many uprisings.

The Scars is a place of all desert, and acidic water pools. The large cracks, and canyon are seeping with dark side energy. Going near one is a sure way to walk the path of darkness. This place is a wasteland, there is nothing here but bones, and death. This place is filled with the whispers of the all those who died in the Darkest Hours War.

Black Gate is pretty normal, a lot like Obidia, but it rains here constantly, and only one city was here, and it was named Fallen Region. Here all exiles were commanded to reside, or else face death. This place has almost no way for one to live a comfortable life has it appears the soil is poor. The walls were built with wood, and two Black Spikes (Guard towers) Were placed to watch the people in exile. It was said that many dangerous, and large creatures lived here under, and preyed on the Exiles.

Koloss is again very much so like Obidia, but only the Shadow Keep existed, and still does, here. The keep is quite large with something like 100 plus rooms. The keep had a large wall of black metal, and spike towers, three on each side, and one on both sides of the gate. Shadow Keep has one large spire in the middle, and is built into a mountain. The spire is called Shadow Nest, it was where the king slept, along with his queen. Shadow Keep was greatly tainted by the dark side of the force through the king, and usually was cold inside. This meant that fires were on constantly, unless it was the eight hour period of the day.

Culture: Daily life was full of working all day, and sleeping at night with few days off. The King had many people working many jobs, but had them working constantly. So this gave them all the ability to make income, but hardly any time to enjoy it. The King hardly came out of his keep, only to stop crisis, and wars. The government was set up so that only the King's sons could rule, declaring he owned the planet, and all its people. Essentially they were all humans, and the force was used, but it wasnt called the force, it was called the Dark Sign. Many people of the kingdom could use it, and exactly how they find out how to use it seems to deal with the Rakata. Days were spent in the sunny times, and seasons existing. There was happiess, and sadness. Royal families wanted to take over, but were easily stopped by the Kings army, and put back in their place. Apart from that life was normal for anyone under rule of a King. Anyone capable of using the force was forced into the King's army, unless they were noble of blood.

Technology: Standard Tech, vehicles existed, but nothing that was flying, hovering did exist. Blasters were used, and swords, lightsabers did not exist. Forcesabers did. Droids of simple structures existed, as well as speeders. They had not come to the point of making anything within military in the case of vehicles.

History:
-During the Infinite Empire, there was a Force Hound named Gaiden. Gaiden was used has an experiment, and they later through him into the planet called Eclipstica where he was ordered to begin building a Empire here. The Rakata later on with the war with the Jedaii, forgot about Gaidens mission, believing he had probably died along with the other slaves they left with him to build the empire.
-He Succeeded, and when realizing they werent coming back, became the King of the empire, dubbing it the Shadow Empire, for they were just a shadow of what they came from.
-Gaiden marries his lover Arieen, and his children are thus born.
-Gaidens reign as King is full of joy, and he shows his children the ways of the force. He also builds the Shadow Council, declaring them all of royal blood, and orders the slaves to build them estates.
-Gaiden dies, and his oldest son, Murick becomes King.
-Murick is nearly assassinated by a servant girl, he opts its time to marry.
-Murick marries his wife Sella, and their children are born.
-Murick is almost assassinated again, this time by a guard. Murick kills the man, hangs his body in public for all to see.
-Murick thus begins to reign like a tyrant with his brothers, Uriel, and Ferrin plot to stop him. The Shadow Council is also plotting their own rebellion.
-The Shadow Council want a new blood line to rule, and begin to secretly build a army.
-While Uriel ans Ferrin are plot, the council get their army of builders to attack the keep.
-Shadow Council fails in their plots, and are sent to the lands know as The Scars as exiles, some refuse and are killed.
-Ferrin succeeds in stopping Murick, and his older brother Uriel reigns as King. Uriel also builds the Black Guard to protect him with Ferrin head of the guard.
-Uriel marries Steph, and his children are born.
-Uriel is a loved king, his rule is flourished, and is considered a prime example of Gaiden.
-Uriel is must bring down a rebellion in the builders, and is successful.
-Ferris dies in a uprising with the Exiles attempting to come back. Uriel then takes his friend, Izekel to command the Black Guards. Exiles are pushed back.
-Uriel dies, and his son Dez takes over, and marries his wife Gerial.
-Dez reshapes the kingdom to his liking, becoming another Murick. He soon builds the Five Circles, and is thus given the people a distraction from his plans to expand the kingdom.
-Dez brings the Exiles out of The Scars to serve as his Shadow Council.
-Dez has two sons, and a daughter.
-His eldest son, Murick II over throws his father, and reigns as King, sending both his dad, and the Shadow Council back to their places in exile.
-Murick II marries an unknown woman, and gets a bastard son named Sigil.
A small up rising comes up, it is destroyed against the builders again.
-Murick II dubs his new guards as Fiends, training them all to be killers.
-A small war between Exiles, and Royals comes to the light, and Murick II kills all the Exiles.
-Murick II begins to further his knowledge of the Dark Side, and starts experimenting on the ways of Drain Life.
-Murrick II is succumbed by the dark side wholly, and is beginning as another tyrant, known as Murick The Devourer.
-His son Sigil begins a rebellion that is nearly successful, this starts the Darkest Hours War, and Murick II begins to corrode the planet with his darkness the stronger he gets in it.
-Murick II builds up his power to drain life. He kills his son in a dramatic fight, thus ending the war.
-Murick II Continues to reign as king, draining life of his people in his own castle to keep himself alive for a longer period of time, this is where the castle gets its corruption.
-Murick is overcomed with darkness, and much like Nihilis, drains life from every life form on the planet, and engulfs himself in the process. Everyone on the planet dies, and thus ends the reign of the bloodline of Gaiden.
-A small freighter finds its way to the planet, it crashes onto it, and everyone dies, but not before the planets whereabouts are sent out in a multi message to many different people.
-Romeo Grabs a hold of one of these messages, in his search for the truth Romeo decides to rule this planet himself, and continue the legacy of the Shadow Empire.
-Romeo Sin, and the Hazard Beauty find the planet, Romeo finally dubs himself King of the Shadow Empire, beginning a new era on the planet.


Notable PCs: Romeo Sin.
Intent: The goal for this planet is for Romeo to begin rebuilding it back to its former glory, and to rule as a King. The other intent is to make a darkside planet, and give the faction Romeo owns a capital if they ever go Major.
 
Ahoy there, I'll be judging your planet. Lets get the judging underway, shall we?


Region: Tangel Arm
System: Shadow Realm
Suns: There’s one star very similar to earth’s, but the darkness that resides inside the planet has turned the sun into a black star, giving it nothing special but the effects of a constant eclipse.
Orbital Position: Habitual, it’s the only planet in the system, but if there was any planets, it would be fourth in line.
I am going to assume you mean the Tingel Arm, please correct that. As for a black dwarf star, it is very possible. However a black dwarf star is completely dead. It has no core to allow for hydrogen fusion then no heat or light is going to be emitted from the star.If this is not happening there is no way for your world to have rain and snow as you mentioned. It would be impossible.


Class: Terrestrial, 2 times bigger than Earth.
Diameter: 15,001 km in diameter
The Earth is 12,756 km in diameter. 15,001 km is not twice the size of Earth. As such a planet that large probably wouldn't be able to sustain life or have the type of gravity you have listed.



Climate: Temperate. Though that’s on the main continent, and the third, and forth, each other continent has it’s own biome status. The Main continent (Obidia) is full of plant, plains, mountains, and other normal surface biomes. The second continent (The Scars) is a large desert full of acidic pools of water, and where a majority of the cracks, and canyons leaking dark side energy reside . The third (Black Gate) is a place of rain, and normal conditions, though it seems it’s constantly raining there, and the forth (Koloss) is a graveyard where the Shadow Kingdom used to reside in it’s formal reign. Its now is a dead civilized area with corroded buildings, and a castle. The green life is is very much dead, literally everything In this area is dead, and thus resides the shells of what used to be alive. The fifth (White Gate) is a place of snow, and ashe.
Again, if its dark all the time there will be little to no life. Look at deep caverns or the bottom of the ocean. There isn't much there. Without a sun producing heat there can be no rain, snow, large plant life or any normal surfaces. You'll either have to change your sun type of change this type of climate into a wasteland.


Demonym: When there was people living here they looked very much of the Victorian, and armor was not uncommon to be wore by warriors, or other military persons.
This refers to what your citizens are called,not their fashion sense.


Major Exports: Most material here is of metals that can be found commonly in other areas, though there are some metals here that have been augmented by the dark side, and thus can be used to shape armor, and weapons, it would still need a master smith, and alchemist to attune exactly what the metals do, but the metal at the moment only produces an effect that coaxes one to the darkside. If one is cut by it, or touches it without already being a darksider maybe seduced to join the darkside.
This seems nearly impossible without having an alchemist enchant the entire planet. Besides, if you have no citizens you have no exports. This should be somewhere in the description of the planet but I advise to take off the cut/touch and become a Darksider.



All locations will require one paragraph each of work.Technology also needs a full paragraph. History needs to be cleaned up and expanded out. Black dwarf stars typically come about after 13 billion years of being a regular star type. Unless this is ancient history, there would be no way a viable population could occur on your planet unless they had a type of atmospheric dome in place, much like asteroid or dead world miners use.


Murick activates it, it drains the life of everyone to power up, and kills every living being on the planet, and explodes in one of the largest darkside explosions in history. This corrupts the planet in darkness, and the system.

How can a machine drain everyone at once from the Living Force? A machine is not an organic or sentient object and thus wouldn't have the Force. I would seriously,seriously reconsider leaving this in your description.


So there we have it, the list of edits that (so far) need to be made. They are quite substantial so please take your time and @ me with any questions. As it stands this submission will require serious edits before I can consider approving it.

[member="Romeo Sin"]
 
[member="Romeo Sin"]


Alright. I've done some talking with other Judges in addition to thinking quite a bit about this sub. It still has some real flaws that have to be addressed. There is some major concerns over power gaming and the overall science of the planet.


  • Stars are not solid matter. They are pretty much gasses(hydrogen and helium) that go through a molecular process to give off light and heat. There may be some solid bits such as iron but these would be a very,very small portion of the star and not enough to cause a blockage like you are describing. Secondly, it would be impossible for the Dark Side to just cause a star to die/go into a black dwarf. Even if this was caused by a very powerful Dark Side Burst(via a Sith's death) the star would go supernova or likely create a black hole, sucking up the planet.
  • In system features you can just put Habital Zone. No need to put fourth in the system since there is no other planet.
  • There is a debris ring around the planet caused by the Dark Side of the Force? This does not make sense and I do not know of any canon events that create a ring around a planet of visible Dark Side energy.
  • You still have '28 hours but its always dark on the planet' I'm not sure if you forget to edit bit if its always dark on the planet its going to be a near-dead world. If you want abundant life as you mention in other sections then you're going to have to have some form of light.
  • Multiple is not acceptable in terrain. Please put something like "Oceans, Islands, and Sandbars" besides multiple.
  • Government should just be Monarchy
  • All the metal has turned black? As in color? The only way most metals turn black is by a process called impinging when exposed to yellow flame. This produces soot which turns metal black in color.
  • Your locations are still not a paragraph each. Ideally I'd like to see a paragraph of six to eight sentences.
  • I'd like to see a few more sentences in tech, especially since you mention a military.
  • I'd also like to see history cleaned up. When listed in a timeline like format I prefer dates or bullet points, it just looks better.Otherwise re-work it and write it out more like a history book. In my experience the timeline format is normally a bit easier.
  • In your history you mention a Dark Sider drains life from the planet. There would be no Dark Side in place then. Even the Dark Side has life, its serves a purpose in the Force, balancing the light.Ying and Yang. If there was such an event to occur I am told the planet would be Force dead or Force null, drained of all Dark or Light energy.


Quite a bit of a list. There is a lot I would like clarified and expanded on. Please take your time in doing so and as always @ mention me with any questions. I will be marking this as a WIP.
 
@Delila Castillon

This is all fine with me with what you're asking.
These things were all for cosmetic purposes only.


As for questions I do have one.

What should I do then so I can have aenough light going on in a day that allows life? But still keeps the majority of the day eclipsed?

For the red ring...is it just there then? Some kinda red debris?

As for draining life from the place, it was directed at the planet itself, but at the people...the planet needs to be corrupted by the darkside that's it. So what would be alright to make it a darkside planet?

From these questions that's all I don't understand. Just the basic cosmetics and Darkside planet.

I have no problem at doing the rest
 
[member="Romeo Sin"]


- For an eclipse just have a moon that keeps orbit with the sun

-Red ring, red rocks. It works

-Darkside planet is a no go. I don't know any canon planets that are totally Dark Side corrupted. I don't mind Dark Side corrupted places (i.e. the kings fortress, temples, ruins, etc) but something that is just totally Dark Side isn't going to fly.
 
[member="Delila Castillon"]

Edits have been made.

-moon orbits with the Sun to cause a eclipse effect every 20 hours.

-Added details to locations.

-Also only canyons in The Scars and the keep possess dark side taints.

-Added more to history.
 
[member="Romeo Sin"]

Alright, thats a lot better. Just clean up your formatting because it got messed up in the editing process and put type of sun (i.e. yellow dwarf) and we should be good to go.
 
[member="Romeo Sin"]


Thanks. I'm going to put this up for secondary approval with the warning of not to use the planet for power gaming/god moding/over powered uses. You've taken out whats concerned me but the warning shall still stand in case you wish to do future edits once your planet has a population/you RP on it more.
 
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