Feedback Drafting a Proposal - Drama Forgiveness

[Jsc]

This is my current rough draft for Drama Forgiveness. A proposal to Staff that aims to more fully embolden the community to engage in stressful communication during an Invasion. Even publicly.

The draft is as follows with additions highlighted in green. Your feedback is appreciated. This draft will remain active for edits and support through the 18th. At which point I will make the decision to either go full "Suggestion" mode and fly down to Austriala to have beer with Valiens, or to move this to Archives while Valiens drinks beer and misses my handsome face delicately. Could go either way. We'll see.

Drama. While the focus of an invasion will always be the actions of each character and faction in-character, the interaction and the general behavior of writers of each faction out-of-character also create an impact on the flow of an invasion. The goal for every invasion is for members of both parties to have fun and enjoy their experience, and to create a fun and interesting story comprised of the actions of each character as individuals and participating factions as a whole; however, this can be derailed by behavior that is not conducive for such an ideal environment. It is our goal for this to always end as a tie, with both parties never showing examples of inappropriate and negative behavior, but any negative behavior instigated by either side, visibly, can negatively impact that faction's chances for victory in an invasion. However, conflicts do happen. So please note that civilized public discourse and respectful disagreements will never be penalized, and that amicable reconciliations between factions and individuals may even be looked upon favorably.​

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Kay so. Key words are civilized and reconciliations. I really want to keep those. Everything else I'm sorta washy about. I'm thinking about changing "messes" to "conflict" but it sounds so stuffy and sharp I kinda hate it. Also, the alliteration was accidental and might be too distracting. But I wanted to be specific. Hard crush there mates. Idk.

Thoughts? Feels?

 

[Jsc]

EDIT: Reserved.

 

[Valiens Nantaris]

Removed some off topic posts so the topic can stay on refining this suggestion.

 

[Darlyn Excron]

If the alliteration is genuinely distracting my best suggestion would be to remove the word 'discourse' or 'debate' and have it state "Civilized public discourse/debate and polite disagreements". Discourse by definition includes debates, and the addition of the word polite just helps break the alliteration.

Other than that it more or less seems to strike right on point. The beginning of "Messes happen" might be able to be improved, it does sound less professional than the rest. "Incidents" might be better but it also could come across stuffy and sharp like "Conflict", though it would sound more in line with the tone. At least how I see it.

My two cents for you Jsc

 

[Jsc]

Darlyn Excron - Yeah. Good thoughts. I'm leaning on replacing "messes" with "conflicts". Originally I wanted "Shit happens" but that sounded too... Eloquent. Lol. Anyway. I like breaking up the alliteration yeah. So I'll probably steal your idea and go with civilized public disourse and polite disagreements. Same idea. Less needless rhythm.

Thanks. +1 Style

 

[Valiens Nantaris]

Jsc

Are you happy with this specific wording?

 

[Jsc]

Valiens Nantaris - The wording is currently great.

However, I'm currently not convinced that this specific proposal has the support of even a minority of the community. As such, I was planning on waiting until the 18th to give more time for feedback, then we'll push this forward.

Just the approach I had in mind.

 

[Ellie Mors]

I personally always assumed this was the case, so I suppose putting this in writing would be a good move. The wording proposed here looks fine to me. Was the general intention behind the rule when it was written, at any rate.