Rusty
Purveyor of Fine Weaponry
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Intent: To create a covert psyops weapon for the purpose of driving the intended target insane
Development Thread: If Necessary
Manufacturer: Rusty's Custom Firearms and Cutlery
Model: D.A.D. J.O.K.E.
Affiliation: Open Market
Modularity: Plastoid casing comes in a variety of colors, and stickers are available on request.
Production: Mass
Material: Speaker components, microprocessor, auditory sensor, power supply, magnet, plastoid casing
Strengths:
- The D.A.D. J.O.K.E. is small, about the size of a coin, and can be concealed in any number of places. A simple plastoid casing makes it look like an innocuous piece of clutter or the sort that inevitably accumulates in any room that is used by a single person for extended periods of time. The casing is tough enough to discourage all but the most determined attempts at disassembly.
- Auditory sensor ensures that the D.A.D. J.O.K.E. will only activate when the target is in the room. Keyed to unique auditory cues, such as the pitch of one's breathing, voice, and heartbeat. Also won't activate when target is in close proximity, in order to avoid detection.
Magnet allows it to be placed on nearly any metal surface. Deployment is limited only by the customer's imagination.
- Auditory sensor is not foolproof. It has an estimated effectiveness of about 93%, meaning there is a chance it will activate when the target is close or there is another person in the room.
- Limited power supply. Due to the need to avoid detection, the power supply is weak, and only allows for, at most, a three month lifespan.
- The D.A.D. J.O.K.E. is so inconspicuous that it might be thrown away if the target decides to clean out some of the clutter in their room or office.
Description: The Joint Offense Kinetic Employment Laboratory is one of RCFC's most promising research labs. They don't produce much in the way of firearms, which is a bummer, but they excel in creating some of the most diabolical devices known to man. The D.A.D. J.O.K.E. is the first to see production.
The D.A.D. J.O.K.E. is essentially a psyops tool used to drive the target insane. It consists of a microprocessor, a speaker, a power supply, auditory sensor, and a magnet, all enclosed within a durable plastoid casing.
When the D.A.D. J.O.K.E. is placed, it spends about a day studying the unique auditory cues of the target, so that it may identify when they're present and alone. After it's collected sufficient data, it begins its insidious attack. See, the D.A.D. J.O.K.E. doesn't explode. It doesn't emit chemical agents. It doesn't even work as a listening device. What it does instead is wait for the target to be alone and then quietly tell bad jokes. The jokes are so bad, they could be considered weapons in and of themselves, but that's not the point.
By telling jokes just on the lower end of the target's hearing, they ensure that the only person who can hear them is the target. The jokes are told intermittently, with as little as three minutes and as long as six hours in between. The timing is based on an algorithm that determines which time of day they'll be most effective. The middle of the afternoon, for instance, when the target is likely to be in a work-induced stupor, is a particularly effective time. The frequency of the jokes also increases as time goes on.
At first, the target might think they just imagined the little voice telling jokes. They might brush it off as a figment of their imagination. But as time goes on, it will become apparent that their really is a little voice whispering jokes to them while they're alone in their office or other room. They'll try to find the source, but as soon as they get close to the D.A.D. J.O.K.E., it shuts up. And since it looks like any other piece of office clutter, they're likely not going to pay close attention. Even if they suspect the D.A.D. J.O.K.E., trying to pry apart the durable plastoid casing is a losing proposition without tools.
Eventually, they confide in a friend, or coworker, or security officer, that they believe something is wrong. The officer, friend, or coworker might help investigate, but the D.A.D. J.O.K.E. is programmed not to activate when someone else is in the room. Its weak battery also makes it difficult to detect with conventional bug detecting equipment, and since it doesn't broadcast anything, there's no outgoing signal to give it away. The detection software isn't perfect, however. There's a 7 percent chance that it will go off when someone else is in the room, but more sophisticated equipment would require a larger device and a more robust and therefore more easily detectable power source. A 7% failure rating is considered acceptable for a piece of equipment that costs less than a sandwich.
As time goes on, the jokes become more and more frequent, gradually chipping away at the target's sanity. A robust mind won't be more than annoyed, but a target under stress, or with a weak mental constitution, might actually be driven insane.
After about three months, the D.A.D. J.O.K.E.'s power source will deplete, and it will go silent. By then, the target is either frothing mad, or they've learned to live with the annoyance. For maximum effectiveness, try placing multiple D.A.D. J.O.K.E. devices in locations where the target is alone. Offices and bedrooms are both likely candidates, and bathrooms as well. The deployment opportunities are only limited by the customer's devious mind.
Primary Source: N/A
