Jsc
Disney's Princess
So I bought this weird game on Steam the other day. Death Stranding. And who boy, is it strange. So with only 15 hours on record and being almost to Chapter 4, he's my thoughts thus far.
Overall: 7/10
In conclusion. Don't buy this game. In fact, if you can. Just forget it was ever created in the first place. I hope to. Save your money and hopefully save us all from ever having to put up with another Hideo Kojima game ever again.
7/10 - A very pretty, mindboggling hiking simulator through Iceland's/Maybe-America's future-hell. With ghost-spying babies and Norman Reedus' butt showers! Do not buy and possibly forget it was ever made. The End.
Overall: 7/10
This is a very pretty game with very sound game mechanics in place to keep you moving forward. That said, it's insanely weird, makes no rational sense whatsoever, there are too many useless infodumps about alien topics that will never relevant to anything, the plot is bonked to all hell and back, and the scoring system is just giving you gold stars because it thinks preschool was fun for everyone. The best way I can put it is like being invited to the Special Olympics and suddenly realizing when you get your first gold medal in the "long distance walking" competition, that it's the flucking Special Olympics! So while I didn't mind actually playing the game? (Question mark?) I hated every moment about playing this game the moment I logged off.
The Good:It's pretty. Fabulously pretty in fact. Runs smooth on my PC. The gameplay loop is easy to understand and forgiving enough that I felt challenged but not punished. I liked the ergonomic design of everything and it sure feels like a real artist touched every part of this game with a thoughtful hand. Very cool. Very tasty graphics. And the way the servers added other people's buildings into my game to make the hiking easier was really appreciated. gives a like
The Bad:It's digital hiking across a martian-like Iceland to save the world.
Which, is just as stupid as it sounds. Hiking, saves the world. Not to mention I hated the story, the meaning behind the story, the meaning behind the stories story, and everything about how the meaning within the story is conveyed to the viewer. Skip, skip, skip, the cutscenes. Skip the ending. Skip the middle. Hell, I'd skip the opening cutscene If I could go back and give myself that advice. Because they are nothing, mean nothing, and are a waste of time. Zero meaning in any of it. Thanks Hideo. Way to be self absorbed. We get it. You're nuts. You worked at a bad place. Konami is bad. Norman Reedus is cool. Metal Gear is a tough act to follow. We get it. Same same. But different. Woo. Thanks for helping us live through your own mental trauma and personal workscape hell in a triple A video game. Thanks buddy. Appreciate it.
Now. Can I have my money back please you wackjob?
Story aside. The menus are annoying and referenced far too often for my like. The cast is wasted. The writing is long winded at the best of times. The married couple didn't get a happy ending. And nothing about Amelie or Bridget or Die-hardman ever made me care about this world in the first place. Sam? Sam was cool. Relatable. Reasonable even. But he lives in a digital simulation of hell. Forever pushing his cargo up the mountain like Sisyphus. And surprise! It's not all that fun to live out Zeus' eternal punishment either. Even with a ghost-spying baby strapped to your super exo-suit's chest. And no. I can't make that last sentence make anymore sense. Hideo's nuts. Just roll with it. Wrestling isn't real either. But at least it's more entertaining than this crap.
In conclusion. Don't buy this game. In fact, if you can. Just forget it was ever created in the first place. I hope to. Save your money and hopefully save us all from ever having to put up with another Hideo Kojima game ever again.
7/10 - A very pretty, mindboggling hiking simulator through Iceland's/Maybe-America's future-hell. With ghost-spying babies and Norman Reedus' butt showers! Do not buy and possibly forget it was ever made. The End.
