Dance Into The Fire

[Connor Harrison]

Brotherhood of Darkness Training Academy
Nar Shaddaa, Y’Toub System

Until we dance into the fire,
That fatal kiss is all we need.
Dance into the fire,
To fatal sounds of broken dreams…​

Connor had agreed to meet with Darth Arcanix once more at the planet where it all began – Nar Shaddaa. With the young Dark Sider Keira Tacon in tow, Connor was willing to see what she had to say, and show Keira just what her future could be if she followed the path laid out made of fire and brimstone. He had a score to settle, but maybe now wasn't the time.

After taking time to explore the ruins of the Academy forged by the Brotherhood of Darkness, the Jedi and young Dark Sider united much later back at the lip of the plateau they were on. Looking over a river that ran from the industrial sector of the nearest city, Ko Hentota, it was probably full of waste, debris and god knows what else. The river looked a thick brown as it gurgled along peacefully, the low evening sun coming over to cast a warm glow over the planet before them.

The open terrain below the Academy ruins, a few carefully traversed climbs and drops down to the ground, was perfect to meet the Sith Lord. No hidden surprises, no collateral damage, just themselves and the planet around them.

Of course, Keira was a wonderful guinea pig for Connor to see what Arcanix had tucked away, and also how Keira’s mind would work to see and Sith and Jedi together, and for her, almost, to pick a side. Connor wasn’t going to help her personally, but if she resisted then he could guide her away from path she wasn’t strong enough to follow and to save her life. If she sided with what Arcanix could offer, then he would have everything he needed to complete his journey to the wastelands and could return to Voss content.

Once Connor updated the youth on the situation, he offered only one piece of advice as they waited and overlooked the terrain below.

”Don’t let her in easy. She’ll make mincemeat of you if you do.”


[member="Darth Arcanix"] | [member="Keira Ticon"]

 

[Taeli Raaf]

[member="Connor Harrison"] [member="Keira Ticon"]

Taeli was immensely curious about what exactly Connor Harrison had to say to her, especially after that last comlink conversation. He had gotten under her skin a bit, but she was justified in it. He had painted her with the same stupid stereotype brush as other Sith AND used the wrong honorific for her title. Honestly, that was the most annoying thing, but she was also intrigued.

He had asked for her to meet him and some young woman on Nar Shaddaa, at the edge of where the old Brotherhood of Darkness academy stood. She wasn't really impressed by Kaan and his Bortherhood, more focused on the man and the woman who succeeded Kaan's order and actually had their order succeed in the grand plan. Still, it was as best a place for a meeting as any, even if she was a little paranoid and had brought her lightsabers.

Her ship streaked over the area of the academy, and she could see two silhouettes standing there waiting. Setting her ship down nearby, she lowered the ramp and sighed a little. This was going to be a very interesting conversation, she could already tell. Still . . . at least she got to see the handsome Jedi again. Maybe he might actually listen to her this time.

 

[Keira Priest]

In comparison to the feelings of anticipation, fear or a combination of both that most other sentients would be feeling at that very moment, Keira was encompassed by a deadly sort of calm, at least outwardly. In her head, however, was a different story. Silently she was calculating the odds of the situation along with all of the possible outcomes, something that came habitually now after so much time spent on the battlefield, or so it felt like. This was a different kind of fight, one more psychological in nature, perhaps even philosophical in a way. Whereas most combat scenarios she had been involved with in the past decided merely her physical fate, this one would influence the path she walked from this moment on. Whatever came to pass on the Smuggler’s Moon, the road she treaded would be forever altered.

As the ship passed overhead she silently observed it, returning to looking over the terrain below once it disappeared out of sight. This was a situation she never imagined to find herself in; standing next to a Jedi on a planet rife with crime and a number of otherwise illegal activities awaiting the arrival of a Sith that could just as easily kill either of them if she so wished. It was so absurd it almost provided its own sort of ironic humor. Almost. But there was also a lethal stillness there, reminiscent of a snake awaiting the opportunity to strike and poison those about it with its toxic venom. Such was the potent, heady allure of the Dark Side, always present, lurking in the shadows.

There was no easy way to go about this, of that she was certain. And there would be no middle ground. It would either go decently well, or fail with no question. At the very least she had some form of support in way of the Jedi standing next to her. They weren’t close by any means, or acquaintances by any standard, but they were here together nonetheless, facing whatever future awaited them more or less together. She understood that this was more for her benefit than his, regardless of whatever had transpired beforehand between Arcanix and Connor himself on this very same planet. This was where his journey had begun, and where hers would culminate to another fresh start.

A long moment of thought passed, and she cut her amber gaze to the Jedi, pondering what he said for a moment. “I don’t intend to let my guard down. I’ve learned not to trust anyone.”

[member="Darth Arcanix"], [member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Taeli Raaf]

[member="Keira Ticon"] [member="Connor Harrison"]

"A good lesson to live by, Keira," Taeli said, walking up to the two waiting individuals. Dressed in a light purple dress, and a satchel over her shoulder, she certainly didn't appear like a Sith. Even her eyes were their natural purple color, and she had a small smile playing across her lips. "Never trust another being to watch your back, you only invite the knife to the back . . . or not."

Stopping, she took in Connor and Keira's appearances. The brunette with her amber eyes had clearly strayed into a more . . . corruptive version of the dark side. Then again, Dark Jedi did seem to show signs more easily if they didn't have some sort of control over what they did, and if what she suspected was true, this woman had lived on Nar Shaddaa most of her life. She was surrounded by all sorts of dark emotions and actions, things that she might have partaken of. Taeli wasn't one to judge, unless the things went against her own moral code, but she couldn't stop a small thought that even though she was steeped in the dark side, far more than Keira, she didn't outwardly show any signs of the corruption.

Connor seemed . . . more at ease than last time they encountered each, but he was just as handsome. She truly did regret their last meeting and how it turned out, but she was glad to say he was at least recovered. Something about the man was . . . intriguing to the Sith Lady, alluring even. Or perhaps it was just because he seemed more human than other Jedi she had met before.

"Connor Harrison, we meet yet again," she said, curtsying to both with extreme politeness. "I have to apologize, yet again, for my previous actions."

Her Force presence was open for both to feel, and they would sense genuine sincerity within her about the apology. That would be the trick here, don't lie and be honest. A foreign concept for most Sith . . . but Taeli wasn't most Sith, not at all.

 

[Connor Harrison]

The sound of the ship broke through the atmosphere before it was seen, and it still was an awesome sight to see a craft coming down from space above your head, cutting through the clouds and the skyline like a dagger to it's destination. Connor wrapped his arms across his chest, watching it come down and land. The figure of Arcanix emerged, her attire billowing in the approaching breeze of the Smuggler's Moon.

They stood atop the plateau watching her casually ascend to them. Connor nodded gently and looked to Keira.

”You trusted me enough to stay. What does that tell you.”

And before they could exchange words, the aura of Arcanix hit him and she appeared, looking more like a dignitary than a Sith. A chill ran up his scarred spine; the nerves and flesh were pretty much torn and useless, but he still felt the chill of danger when present before him. Feeling slightly safe with another by his side, even if she was just a naïve Dark Sider, Connor simply watched the Sith flaunt her smooth style, silky voice and alluring predator / prey smile he knew too well.

As he apologised, Connor pursed his lips and inclined his head slightly.

”Think nothing of it, please. Maybe I was too rash, you know, trying to escape your blade you pulled on me.”

He didn't let her respond. Holding out his hand, he swept it between the two ladies with a smile.

”Keira Ticon, may I present Sith Lord Arcanix. Lord Arcanix, Keira Ticon; Fallen Jedi.”


[member="Darth Arcanix"] | [member="Keira Ticon"]

 

[Keira Priest]

It amused her, to a degree, the way the two went back and forth, their bickering reminiscent of how children would argue amongst themselves on topics that really weren't significant beyond the realms of their own minds. Of course, that wasn't quite the case here. Their animosity, whether more personal in nature or just due to the ever-present war that was constantly being waged between light and dark, whatever the previous two terms were supposed to mean. Once more it was brought to mind that this was all just one big philosophical war that people took up arms over, when all they were fighting for was opinions. Then again, the same could just as easily been applied to her. It was quite the mixed up galaxy they called home.

A nod in greeting was her only response to the introductions made, and Keira turned her head slightly to regard Connor for a moment with a half-smile despite the weight of the situation. "Who said I trusted you?" And she didn't, not really. A life lived for its majority in the criminal underworld had eroded her trust almost immediately, limiting it severely to those she considered friend, or those related by blood. Both were few and far between for her, and neither of her present company came close to measuring up to either. Both of them were held at an equal distance in her mind, deserving of the same respect and common courtesy that she would provide, to a point, as long as it was returned in same.

Where normally she would have objected soundly to Connor referring to her as a Jedi of any sort, fallen or no, she remained silent. It was a discussion the two had already had hours earlier, and it wouldn't do good to bring it up again. If anything it would only turn this next talk in the same direction the others had followed, and she didn't much want to listen to lectures similar to those she'd heard as a Jedi once upon a time. They always bored her, all of that talk of peace and serenity, largely unattainable goals, in her opinion. This is all ridiculous.

"You know, we're all just here to talk about what are really just opinions. One person thinks they're fighting for what's right or good, and the other thinks they couldn't be more wrong and evil, or something similar. There's a reason I don't claim the mantle of either Jedi or Sith. It's a war about semantics that's managed to last for eras. There's light, there's dark, there's right, there's wrong...but none of them are defined beyond what one believes in their own mind. You can both think I'm naive and that I don't know what I'm talking about, but that thinking is exactly why I don't fit under any Order or dogma." It was also likely why she was walking the path she currently did, but that was up for debate.

[member="Connor Harrison"], [member="Darth Arcanix"]

 

[Taeli Raaf]

[member="Keira Ticon"] [member="Connor Harrison"]

Taeli, for just a moment, seethed as Connor once again introduced her as Lord. She had just lectured him about that not two days ago, and he did it again to try and ruffle her feathers. Well, besides a small flash of annoyance, she wasn't going to rise to the bait. Anyways, she was right now more interested in what Keira was saying. How very interesting.

"When did I say you were naive?" Taeli asked, tilting her head a bit. "I rather agree with you actually. The whole war between Jedi and Sith is all pointless. I, for example, have never done anything truly evil. No genocides, no taking of slaves, no torturing for torture's sake. I don't even like most of my colleagues, and yet, I get tarred and feathered with the same brush because I have a slightly different set of beliefs from someone else. In the end, all we have are opinions, but they can change as the situation and the people around you change. Right or wrong? Both sides can't claim they are in the right. The Republic and Jedi have perpetuated atrocities just as much as the Sith have. I don't condone either, but that's my choice."

Smiling over at Connor, she continued saying, "Connor over there seems to expect me to be the stereotype Sith and offer you power and riches to join the Sith, but that's really cliche'd in my opinion. I'm perfectly content to talk about my view, his view, and your view and then offer a choice. The Sith Code says many things about how passion leads to strength, which leads to power, which leads to victory, which leads to our chains being broken. I guess ultimately the Sith Code offers one thing at the end, it gives us the freedom to choose our path. I can be a Sith and use the light side, the grey side, the dark side, whatever side I want. I can do whatever actions I want, but only if I deem them in my own personal moral code. Can you say the same about the Jedi, Connor? They seem to be . . . a bit in a rut when it comes to their ways."

 

[Connor Harrison]

Connor turned his head to give Keira a look at her little retort. The fact she was here said she trusted him – that defence had come up again, which was good in front of a Sith. Facing Arcanix again, he folded his arms, resting his boot on a mound of rock and listened to Keira talk. Granted, she was preaching again about something they all knew – but Arcanix had to hear it.

Straight away the Sith was there, and he sensed a stinging glare from her at his introduction. The fascinating thing about Lady Arcanix was she spoke great sense. Mainly about the freedom to choose your own path. If anything, Connor was fighting a battle with himself to find out which path was naturally his, and which was forced on him, because one was the Light and one was the Dark; he just didn’t know which.

As she guided her question to him, Connor chewed his lip and gave a bemused look.

”Lord Arcanix, I can’t comment on what the Jedi do or do not do. What I can comment on is that you are nearly right,” he began to walk slowly from one side of Keira to the other as he spoke, ” in the respect that you seem do what you like, as you like and when you like. You follow your own path under the umbrella of the Sith. Jedi adhere their own restrictions and boundaries because where would we be without them? Oh, yes – you.”

He tilted his head and his voice rose the more he recounted the night where he had felt pain like no-other. She was fascinating, but he just wanted to…let something out.

”Why was it when I adhered to the Jedi way weeks ago and clearly made out I was no threat to you, that you thought the best course of action was to threaten me and leave me half-dead and scarred for life?”

The anger and frustration was rising in him, the fact she was here all nice as pie and making him question his own standing where she just used the excuse she could do whatever she wanted because she was Sith.

Connor turned to Keira.

”There. You either do what you want, as you want and have no purpose, or you at least try to stick to some of your morals and be somebody who can try and make a difference.”

[member="Darth Arcanix"] | [member="Keira Ticon"]

 

[Taeli Raaf]

[member="Connor Harrison"] [member="Keira Ticon"]

"Connor, I might have ignited my lightsaber and everything, but you made the two first aggressive moves," Taeli responded, sighing a bit as he once again called her a Lord. Yep, he was definitely trying to get her to lose her temper again. He was also being a broken record about this. "You sent a Force Wave at me to blast me to another side of the room, and then you sent two tables flying at me. I just told you to leave us alone and forget that crystal, but no, you chose to intervene when you really had another reason for being there entirely. But, you just had to try and bring in an artifact too so the Jedi could lock it away. It was a saber crystal for Force's sake. Also, don't forget that after I blasted Force Lightning at you twice, you deiced, hey I'm gonna go pursue them in anger and try and fight her again. And what did I do, I tried to make you back down, offered you yet another chance to just walk away and deal with the slicer, and when you collapsed, I gave you bacta to treat yourself."

"As for Jedi who don't follow the restrictions of what their Order says, you clearly need a bit of a history reminder," she said, laughing a genuine laugh. "Revan and Bastila after they defeated Malak chose to live their lives separate from the Jedi Council's point of view, Luke and his entire Order were not traditional Jedi, with many choosing to do what they wanted to do as long as it fit their own personal morals. If a Jedi strays from the narrow path of right and wrong your Council sets, you don't immediately become a Sith. But, I would have thought you figured that one out. After all, wasn't it you who threatened to apply enough pressure to the man using your name to sever his brainstem from the rest of his brain? You don't hear me using such threats, now do you?"

Taking a breath, she continued saying, "I don't do what I want because I'm a Sith, being a Sith just gives me more of the freedom to actually be a human being. You might view it as purposeless, but did you ever think to ask, maybe I do have a purpose and morals? Why do you think when your friends retrieved you from that cantina, they found you alive instead of dead and robbed by all of those dark side users? I told them to leave you alone, and they weren't exactly going to argue with a Sith."

Looking at Keira, she sighed and said, "I won't force you to agree with me or him, that's for you to decide."

 

[Connor Harrison]

Connor pushed his tongue hard against his teeth at her deluded version of events – he knew this day was coming, but he didn’t expect how angry it would make him feel and now embarrassed more so in front of another hanging on the edge of which way focus her life.

Stepping forward he stabbed a finger out and took steps towards Arcanix, his face hard and eyes narrowed, burning with that cold blue stare that wavered now and then.

”NO – you came in and YOU drew your blade. YOU were the one using aggression towards me and I did what I had to do to defend myself and the girl. And so you assume I was taking the crystal to the Jedi? Brilliant – well I wanted it for myself, to understand it, to feel it.”

He turned to Keira.

”Right now I think you’re worth more than THAT,” he indicated towards the Sith Lady, ” because the Sith have excuse upon excuse and try to sugar coat what they did because everyone else made them do it.”

He looked back to Arcanix. This time his voice had venom to it, but was softer.

”I hate you for what you did to me. I hate you for the sister you were born alongside.”

Connor’s eyes began to become misty, but not out of upset. Out of frustration at himself and everyone he encountered who left a scar on him.

”Why didn’t you let me die. It would have been far better than living.”

The words spat from him and he walked back to Keria before he lashed out, looking out to the Academy and calming his breathing down.

[member="Darth Arcanix"] | [member="Keira Ticon"]

 

[Taeli Raaf]

[member="Connor Harrison"] [member="Keira Ticon"]

(apologies Keira!)

"If I really wanted to be the aggressor, Connor, wouldn't I have just ignited my lightsaber through your chest and been done with it," Taeli said, sighing yet again. He seemed a bit . . . on edge, too much anger and hate there. "I gave you plenty of space to move away, and I didn't pursue. Plus, you didn't really tell me why you wanted the crystal, if you had, maybe I would have let you take it instead of an acolyte."

She actually felt a bit hurt that he seemed to think so little of her, but he was within his rights to do so. She couldn't stop him from having his opinion and what a sight they must be for the woman with them. Arguing and bickering, it was probably both amusing and annoying for her.

"I'm not sugarcoating anything or excusing my actions, but you seem to be ignoring yours," she said, taking in his angry appearance and thinking he wasn't doing the best job in the world to show Keira his way was more . . . appealing. If anything, his own anger and hate seemed to be counter-productive. "If you really want, we could go back to that cantina and review the security footage." She felt that was a worthy compromise, but she was still a bit taken aback by the venom in his voice and his question on why she let him live.

"You hate me for letting you live?" she asked, confused. Did he really think she had wanted to kill him at anytime during that scrape in that cantina. "I let you live because I didn't want to kill you. I wanted to show you that there are different kinds of Sith, not just your run-of-the-mill kill everything sort. I showed you the mercy most people don't ever expect from a Sith, I showed you the mercy, and gave you the help, of a fellow human being to another. You know what . . . I'm going to settle this once and for all."

Sitting down in the dust, knowing her dress was going to need a good cleaning, she said, "You both can ask me any question about myself that you want, no strings attached. I'll keep myself completely open so you can sense the truth of my words."

 

[Keira Priest]

It seemed this was turning into more of a personal engagement between Connor and Arcanix than anything else, not that Keira could say she really minded. In a way it allowed her a deeper look into their philosophy, whether personal or more dogmatic in nature, without their worrying who they had to impress or persuade. It was a change from the typical coercing that both sides employed when attempting to get an individual to fight for their cause. This revealed them as people, not just Jedi and Sith, a representation that was scarce galaxy-wide. But even then, she wasn’t sure if she liked the aspects of either point of view she was hearing. Having been raised to be independent from a young age, she had no need for aligning herself with either Order. It was an unnecessary formality.

The silence that hung between the three after Arcanix made her offer was heavy with anticipation and latent, unspoken thoughts that were too personal for any of them to voice. “Both of you have excuses. Everyone does. The Jedi say they do what they do in the name of all that’s good and light, and the Sith claim their motivation to be instilling order in the galaxy, both of them through whatever means necessary. And in the end, they’re both hypocrites as well. You can both claim to be more correct than the other, and say that in the end your ways are more moral, but it doesn’t mean anything. That’s all they are, words. And what you have to say is worthless unless you can back it up with more than just the typical clichéd proof.” A bold claim, but one she believed firmly.

A wry half-smile turned up one side of her mouth, and she shook her head with the quietest of laughs. “It’s all ridiculous, when you think about it. Who cares who made the first move? It’s over now, what happened has already transpired, and no one can go back in time to change it. Squabble over it all you want, review the security footage, settle the argument…what’s it going to fix? You’re both responsible for instilling wisdom in the followers of your respective Orders, but you can’t even get over something as simple as this. And yet somehow it seems absurd that I choose not to follow either, and simply do what I think is right to better serve those I call friend and family. But we’re all supposed to have some greater purpose, apparently.” She rolled her eyes, displaying her obvious distaste for the entirety of it.

Absently she levitated three stones above her palm, turning them in a slow circle, contemplating the events that had unfolded just moments before. “Some of us couldn’t care less about the impact we leave on the galaxy. Or at least, we don’t care enough to actively attempt to make a difference. It’s all consequential. If we do, great, but if we don’t, it’s not a big deal. It’s how we survive that matters, and how we effect those we care about. Everything else is secondary.” Compared to their supposed devotion to their Orders she was decidedly apathetic to all of the affairs, only caring so far as she and hers was concerned, and no more. If her affiliation with the Ravens brought her closer to the Sith and farther from the Jedi, then so be it. None of that changed her personal moral compass or caused her to waver in all that she stood for.

Her hand slowly clenched into a fist, and the stones were turned to smaller pebbles, slowly trickling to the ground, loosed from her grasp. “I’m not going to choose between two sides that are equally flawed. It’s either the apathetic Jedi or the domineering Sith. Light, dark, black, white…some of us choose neither. Some of us choose grey. Everyone seems to forget the spectrum that is the Force.”

[member="Darth Arcanix"], [member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

With his back to Arcanix, and standing beside Keira, Connor looked through the dusk sky at the ruins of the Academy. As the Dark Sider talked; slow, observational and careful, Connor tried to piece together what could have made the once Jedi Master Skere Kaan turn his back on the Order and form, from his own hands, the Brotherhood of Darkness who were unified in bypassing the blind view of the Masters trying to debate and turn a blind eye to the real matters of the galaxy.

The Force worked in mysterious ways, but it seemed if you wanted to use it for the good you saw, you had to make sacrifices and choices.

Keira was starting to wind him up now - she spent so much time trying to blur out both Jedi and Sith that she was sounding like a preacher; a blind one, trying to make out both sides were wrong. The sides weren't wrong, it was the ones serving that side who were wrong when they were doing it wrong. Connor was serving the Light, but at times felt he would be better use serving the Dark. And the Dark could be used for good if people just understood, like Kaan tried to make people do.

As the pebbles crunched into dirt from Keira's Force use, she seemed to make her choice. In the process, Connor still felt he served a purpose, and she had just mocked both him and that purpose. A purpose he had nearly died to strive for.

”You know, I have a Padawan, Keira, and you are a great reminder why I need to protect her from ignorance and a life without love or friendship, because she'd turn into you.”

He turned to face he, a dark mist in his eyes.

”This was perfect. Just what I needed to hear - you prattling on about how you do what you want to survive without care for anything else. You wouldn't survive without the shadow of your criminal gang over your head. You'd be dead in a gutter. You have no idea about the potential that you hold if you only knew where to focus it. Jedi or Sith. Light or Dark. There IS no in-between!”

Connor turned to Arcanix, still sat.

”She'd rather crush pebbles y'see.”

He looked back to Keria, jaw tense and his mind now clouded.

”You have no idea of the suffering I had faced as a Jedi to protect the worlds and systems that your scum now populate. The Sith would wipe you out in the blink of an eye, and they will. Mark my words your time is coming. And I personally hope it's painful for you as it was for me, and then you'll wish you had the resolve of a Jedi to fight back.”

He had tried to help this girl, and it proved that the pain he had felt and conflict faced now was something she saw as laughable - and pathetic. He was getting fed up of that label.

[member="Darth Arcanix"] | [member="Keira Ticon"]

 

[Taeli Raaf]

[member="Keira Ticon"] [member="Connor Harrison"]

Listening to Keira speak and explain her view about the galaxy, plus the two different main line orders of Force users, Taeli was rather impressed by the girl's opinion. She didn't agree with some of it because it was extremely selfish, but she couldn't help but smile internally that Keira had noticed the hypocrisy of both Orders. It was something Taeli had figured out a long time ago, but she viewed the Sith as less hypocritical than the Jedi. Still, it seemed Keira had made her choice, and Taeli would respect that, but apparently her answer wasn't what Connor had been expecting. The young woman's words seemed to have had an effect on Connor.

His eyes had darkened, and he seemed to be filled with some indignation as he began to rant. His view that everything was black or white, Jedi or Sith, was a bit disappointing to her at least. It was such a dogmatic response, that only the Jedi represented good, what was right, and sacrifice for the betterment of all, while Sith were evil monsters only concerned with conquering and death. She couldn't disagree though that if given the slightest provocation, her colleagues would probably wipe out the Ravens, but that was what the alliance treaty was for. She sensed almost . . . bitterness in Connor's words and presence, but it ran deeper than that. Some insecurity perhaps? He seemed very touchy about everything he had done in the name of the Jedi being disregarded.

"It's her choice," Taeli said from where she sat, shrugging. "I already said choice is the greatest gift we all have, and she seems to have decided what path she wants to walk. I can disagree with it all I want, but I won't interfere in where the Force takes her. I, for one, can say I'm sorry you've suffered for everything you've done and striven for. It's rather impressive actually, but then I can relate with pain and suffering all too well from how my life has gone."

 

[Keira Priest]

It really was too easy to work people up with simple words, anymore. They were always so sensitive about the creed they followed and whether it was inherently right or wrong. Ironically enough, it was always the Jedi that seemed to concern themselves with being on the side of right and justice, when they supposedly didn't concern themselves with the opinions of others beyond how they could help improve their own functioning. Once again this sufficed as pertinent reasoning as to why she'd abandoned that path in the first place. It wasn't out of corruption, as most seemed to think, but rather out of the conflict that arose between the Code she was expected to follow and what she deemed proper. But never did she think her ways perfect, knowing they beheld just as much flaw as any other personal dogma.

"It's funny. The Jedi always preach about how accepting they are of others as long as they serve the light, but yet you force everyone to choose a side. It's your way and no other, because everybody else is wrong, isn't it? If there isn't a grey or an in between, then what of the Jensaarai? What of those that chose not to affiliate themselves with the Jedi because of the assumptions that come with that label? Are they inherently evil as well, simply because they disagree with your point of view? You should turn your observations on yourself before you tell me that what I think is wrong. You say there isn't a middle ground, yet you claim to be walking it right now. Seems a bit contradictory to me." There was a high chance she was pushing her luck, and that this would escalate to conflict if she wasn't careful, but that wasn't enough to stop her. In a way combat was the purest form of self-expression.

Despite Connor's assurance that her choice had been made she was still very much conflicted in the way of which path to follow, but when it came down to it she knew that neither doctrine suited her or her personal beliefs held in her heart. There had been a code she abided by once upon a time, one dictated by the sect of Force adepts that had once been present with the Red Ravens she still called home. They had been disbanded once her older brother had left, but it was as close to abiding by any ideology that she would ever get. Peace and passion are relative, survival is all that matters. By surviving I gain longevity, through longevity I gain influence. Through influence I can be free. Through freedom I can thrive. Only I can determine my destiny. I am equal with the Force. It was a simple thing, yet apparently the antithesis of what both the Jedi and the Sith deemed proper.

Where he was upset she was carefully calm, calculating. "It's not the side of the Force you follow, it's how you follow it. No matter how noble you claim the Jedi to be, that won't be true for all of them, or even most. You're mistaken in assuming it's only the Jedi that fight back, or do good. I've met bad Jedi in my life, and my fair share of kind Sith as well. I'm not limiting that understanding just to the Order they follow. It's the individual that matters." Pausing, she had to take a breath to gather her thoughts, lest she risk going off aimlessly with her words. "I won't sit here and be lectured by a man that still isn't sure of who he is, yet has the audacity to preach to others what path they should follow simply because it's what he believes to be right and true. I'm not claiming to follow either the Jedi or the Sith. I'm not claiming to follow anyone but my own morality, yet you would condemn someone for something so simple."

[member="Darth Arcanix"], [member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

With a gasp, Connor pushed his palms across his face and pulled back his black hair, feeling his body tremble with an anxiety and panic that started to make him feel that he was trapped and couldn’t breathe.

”I’m sorry.”

He turned to Keira.

”You’re right…I shouldn’t even be here. I don’t know who I am anymore – I don’t know what I’m fighting for. My Order, or my own sanity.”

Turning, Connor walked a few steps over by a mound of dry earth and sat back on it and waved his hand to Arcanix who was watching him.

”Carry on – leave me for a moment.”

He leant his arms on his knees and lowered his head, looking at his boots and feeling the bite of the Sith Magic so close letting his emotion come out and send him on another twisted vision; if there was one thing he would wish, it was someone could take this poison from his mind.

[member="Keira Ticon"] | [member="Darth Arcanix"]

 

[Taeli Raaf]

[member="Connor Harrison"] [member="Keira Ticon"]

Taeli was now even more intrigued by this man, possibly because he was confused and vulnerable, but also because there was something affecting him. Some sort of . . . oh, now she understood. When he was confused by whether she was Corvus or not during their first encounter, the proclivity for switching between a balanced emotional state and a darker side, what happened just now . . . she had a feeling she knew and there wasn't much that could be done. Well, there was one thing but it was extremely painful and she didn't know the technique.

"I'm so sorry," she said from where she sat. "Connor . . . you might not listen to me, but we all have to make choices and it seems like you have some thinking to do. I made mine a long time ago when I was almost raped and murdered by three boys on Lorrd. The Sith found me, hands covered in the blood of those boys, and took me in. I wanted to control that dark power in me so I never lost control again, which I think I succeeded at. Darkness or Light can't be destroyed, not completely anyways. We all have a spot of darkness or light that our main alignment can never snuff out, and both can grow or be consumed to envelop us or be hidden away."

Looking out over the landscape, she said, "You, Keira, in a way, you're somewhat lucky I guess. You have a much simpler, and yet more complex, view of things. I'm impressed you figured out something like that, it takes many people a lot of time or a traumatic event to shape their world outlook to something like yours. You don't have duties to other, larger powers or Orders. You just exist and carry on with your life, but we," and she gestured at herself and Connor, "we ended up having different things placed upon us to make us who we are, so that we follow our personal morals in a different way. I'm a big bad Sith, but you'll never see my name attached to atrocities because it's against what I believe. Connor is a Jedi, but sometimes even a Jedi will do something dark. You're right that it's a matter of who the person is, not their alignment, but that can play a part too."

"Someone who is far more aligned with the dark will be arrogant, cruel, sadistic, evil, etc. but then the reverse is someone steeped in the light ends up either as a droid because they suppress everything that makes them human," and she knew Connor would know who exactly she was referencing, "which I personally disagree with and try and get her to open up, which has worked a little. But I digress, the point is the alignment can also change your personality to something more suited for your role . . . but one has the power to stay true to what they believe, even when part of the larger orders."

Looking over at Connor again, she asked, "How did Sith magic or poison get placed in your brain?"

 

[Keira Priest]

This was all too much to process in such a short amount of time, and for a long moment Keira was simply overwhelmed. Never had she had the chance to converse so openly with two individuals loyal, or at least mostly so, to their respective sects. It cleared up a number of questions that she had difficulty answering beforehand, but it also dredged up new ones that would ultimately have to be directed towards herself. It wasn’t as if she was now uncertain in her philosophy that pertained to the larger orders, but it was her place in regards to all of them that had now been uprooted. There was more out there than what she had been living by, more to consider, more to explore and appreciate. For once in her life, the path was open and unimpeded in front of her, the only thing halting any forward motion being herself. It was a strange feeling.

Still, she couldn’t help the small sardonic smile that formed on her lips at what Arcanix had to say. “I left the Jedi at sixteen. I’ve had plenty of time since then to pick out the flaws in that path and the opposite available. It’s given me plenty of time to formulate and rethink this point of view.” Of course, there were other events as well, less so to her choosing. She had her torture at the hands of The Primeval to thank for that. But now wasn’t the time to detail that, or pick and choose who had the most traumatic life story up to this point. The last thing she was doing was searching for sympathy, least of all from two who were really nothing more than strangers. “I have plenty of physical scars to match the mental ones, believe me. I’m sure we’ve all seen our fair share of horrors in life.”

A quiet sigh escaped her lips, and her own stance wavered before she eventually sat herself, cross-legged and in much of the same position she’d been in when she’d first encountered Connor near to this same place. The troubling darkness that was previously clouded behind her eyes had dissipated somewhat, replaced with a careful thoughtfulness and something of uncertainty where she had once been staunchly confident in all that she followed and called her own. The muscles of her jaw relaxed, the tension from her entire body seeming to release all at once. It wasn’t quite exhaustion, or at least not in the physical sense. It was more of the mental sort, the collapse that often effected those that had been strong for too long a time. It wasn’t impossible to recover from, but she knew that this would require careful deliberation to completely sort out, and nothing short of it. Maybe it was time for her to take a break from things.

“What about those that follow neither, then? Everyone always talks about the Jedi and the Sith and debates between which is the moral path, but they always seem to forget the middle ground that separates the two. Just like everything else, the Force has areas of grey. Sure, some are darker or lighter than they could be, nobody’s ever completely neutral, however much they want to claim they are. Personal beliefs will always dictate your actions, to a degree. But I know there’s a grey area where the lines are blurred, regardless. There isn’t a way to explain away people like me, or those that call themselves the Grey Jedi.”

[member="Darth Arcanix"], [member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Taeli Raaf]

[member="Keira Ticon"] [member="Connor Harrison"]

While waiting for Connor to actually say something, Taeli turned in the dust and dirt to address Keira. The woman had brought up a very interesting point about those that called themselves Grey Jedi, although Taeli would call Keira a Dark Jedi.

"Surprisingly enough, I'm actually friends with a few Grey Force users," she said, smiling pleasantly. "I'm not discounting the middle path either, in fact if that's what you want to walk, that's your choice. It's just a harder one to stick to than one of light or darkness because it's such a tightrope of balance, unless you don't mind leaning one or another. If that's your path, go for it."

Sighing a bit, she started drawing a few runes in the dust with her finger.

"We all have physical or mental scars," she said. "They shape us into the people we are now, influence the paths we ultimately decide to take. They can make someone grow or break them. I've got mine, you've got yours, and he has his. They all led us to what brought us all here, and will lead us along once we all depart."

 

[Connor Harrison]

Arms still folded, the mood seemed to be lighter now after his little outburst. A Jedi, a Dark Jedi and a Sith. Someone could make a good joke about this one day. The two ladies were sat, Connor stood, albeit leaning back. He looked out at the planet and breathed in the dusk air, embraced the open Force aura of both Arcanix and Keira and, for once, didn’t fight anything.

Arcanix made him laugh at her last little statement. Scars were certain of anyone who walked the dangerous path these three did, but the fact she had given him some of the most painful scars but it was slowly helping shape him was nothing but ironic. But…how did she know of the Sith Magic? It must be glaringly obvious to one who dabbles in that dark act.

He looked at Keira for moment, and then Arcanix; addressing them both. If they could take anything from a Jedi openly pouring his troubles to two who otherwise would be classed as an enemy, they were welcome.

”You can tell I have that?”

He gave a small nod, quite impressed.

”I requested an audience with a Sith sorceress, Matsu Xiangu – no doubt you two are well acquainted in some way. I wanted to use her as an experiment to test my resolve to the Dark Side – if she broke me, she could have me. If she couldn’t, she could leave a little reminder of my weakness in walking the line between Light and Dark.”

Connor leant back and pulled up his jumper, torso twitching at the touch, showing them both the number of sickening scars, all indented holes oof various shapes in his flesh up the right hand side.

”Apart from being impaled with a number of wonderfully painful stones on the surface of Ord Mantell, she found it necessary to root Sith Magic in my brainstem, and it feeds of my emotion. I pretty much now know when it will strike and can try and calm myself before it does, but if it hits, it just manipulates my inner thoughts and sight to create these horrible visions of the world around me. It’s freaky, and it’s disturbing, and it’s always telling me what I can become if...well, I embraced what I could do without a conscious.”

He sighed and looked at Arcanix, cracking a half smile.

”Brain, back, hands, torso, arm. My body is now a canvas for the Sith to decorate as they see fit it seems.”

[member="Darth Arcanix"] | [member="Keira Ticon"]