Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

Private Crosscurrents







//: Reina Daival Reina Daival //:




The rains had passed, but the scent of ozone still lingered.

Mist clung low to the valley floor, rising in slow tendrils from the banks of the river that cut through the heart of Odessen’s wilds. Trees, tall and ancient, framed the horizon dark pines and hardwoods swaying gently in the wind’s wake. Birdsong returned in cautious notes, interspersed with the occasional rustle of branches where creatures resumed their morning routines.

On a hill, that overlooked the valley, the Academy stood in silent watch. Its architecture blended seamlessly with the stone, reinforced durasteel and permacrete wrapped in natural hues, grown moss and trailing ivy softening its otherwise practical silhouette. Not a temple, not a fortress but something between. A sanctuary with teeth.

Mandalorian patrols kept watch at the valley's few accessible entrances, their checkpoints staggered with precision. An accord struck with an old friend, the ties between Strill Securities and Taiia were deep, she would never question the loyalty of these men and women. For a time she even called a Mandalorian her husband. There was a mutual respect between them, there had to be to have her students there.

Taiia had left before sunrise.

She’d taken no escort, only her cloak, descending from the sanctuary down a half-forgotten trail that followed the river’s bend. She moved without urgency, boots muffled by damp earth, her senses stretched wide. The Force was quiet this morning, like breath drawn in but not yet released.

She came here sometimes, when the weight of vision outpaced the moment. Today wasn’t for confrontation. She wasn’t hunting, nor hiding. Simply walking. The forest trail eventually opened into a narrow clearing near the river’s edge, framed by smooth boulders and twisted roots. Here, the valley dipped just enough to catch more sunlight warm and golden against the moss-covered stones. She exhaled once, quietly, as she stepped into it.

And then she felt it.

Not a threat. Not even a presence, at first. Just the faintest pull in the Force subtle, inquisitive, like a note on the edge of hearing.

She wasn’t alone.

Her eyes narrowed slightly as she turned her gaze toward the path upstream. Whoever it was, they were close. A flicker behind the trees, a heartbeat not her own. Taiia said nothing. She didn’t reach for her saber. She didn’t hide her presence., The Hidden Path had taken up residence on Odessen, she wasn't blind to that but she had also not gone out of her way to approach them, they continued to grow in number yet it wasn't a concern for her just yet.

She simply waited.

This valley had always drawn those in need of refuge. But rarely did they wander in without intention.

So let them come. Let them speak first.

She would listen.




 

Tag: Taiia Mataan Taiia Mataan

Wandering. Just like old times for Reina. Yet as opposed to the days where she'd travel from planet to planet, to fish and sell her catch, it was to learn. To study. And although she could have left Odessen, to see what she could learn from the Galaxy as a whole, it was not yet time for her to travel. The Spirit of the Sea was not guiding her off world. Instead the breeze had guided her in the direction of the woods. Woods she had yet to explore, for her dislike of...earth and tree.

The Ersansyr had found herself having to confront much she did not care nor like in recent times. Mandalorians. Her new nature. Loneliness. Abandonment. All over again. It was almost ironic in a way. Reina had found her birth family, only to end up losing her found family in the way of the Jedi. Neither group did she feel an attachment to. She did still care for specific members from each group. Her sister. Everest. Valery. They were still important to her but they were busy. They had more important things to focus on, and so Reina needed to find something of her own to focus on.

And so she focused on the Guidance of the spirit. Following the breeze through the woods off towards the river. There was someone else there, yet Reina's gaze did not move towards them yet. Instead she made her way straight down to the river, crouching down to run her hand through the stream gently. Her hand shifting for a moment, as her nails grew sharper. Something that Reina had slowly grown more accustomed to as well. She was a different woman to the one that had joined the Jedi originally. Yet she still didn't fit the title in her eyes.

"The weather is lovely today. Isn't it?"

Reina broke the silence carefully, letting the melody of her voice echo amongst the valley. There was still a part of her that hated the natural song-like nature to the way she spoke, but it was something she still had to accept. She brushed off her robes for a moment, finally turning her gaze over towards the stranger, giving them a slight smile. Reina had never done well with smiling. It had always felt unnatural to her, when she actively tried to do it.

"Sorry for the intrusion. I was...guided here."

: Means written/typed communication : < Means Sign Language communication >
 










//: Reina Daival Reina Daival //:​



She hadn’t moved since she arrived she didn’t need to. The Force had already told her someone would come, someone the current had drawn down through the trees. The light glimmered through the canopy above, painting her silver robes in shifting hues of green and gold. Wind teased the ends of her copper hair, though she made no effort to brush it aside. She was watching the river, but her attention was elsewhere. Listening.

She heard the quiet footsteps long before the voice. The hesitance in them. The way they paused, resumed, stopped again. She didn’t turn not yet. Let the girl make her own choice about how to arrive.

The presence that moved alongside the river was uncertain but not afraid. Something lingered in it, like the echo of the ocean in a seashell. And beneath that, a weight carried alone loneliness, distance, maybe even abandonment. All things Taiia understood far too well.

When Reina finally crouched beside the water, Taiia watched her from the corner of her eye. Not intrusively but quietly, gently observing. The way one watches a bird land on a branch. She saw the way Reina's fingers broke the surface of the stream, how the water curved around her like it knew her. Then the shift small, subtle, the change in her hand. Not hidden. Not ashamed. Just part of her now.

She let Reina speak first.

"The weather is lovely today. Isn't it?"

There was something in the tone light, melodic despite the effort to make it plain. Like she resented the ease in her own voice. Taiia smiled, just barely, and turned at last, letting Reina see her fully. She didn’t close the distance. She didn’t offer anything more than presence.

“It is,” she said, quietly. "Odessen never ceases to bring a sense of calm.”

The words weren’t a challenge. Just an invitation to be honest. Or not. She wasn’t here to extract truth only to be a place where it could be spoken.

"Sorry for the intrusion. I was...guided here."

Taiia tilted her head slightly, her expression softening.

“You weren’t guided by accident.”

She let the words settle between them like the breeze itself, neither pushing nor pulling. Her gaze lingered a moment on the girl’s posture the tension in her shoulders, the way she held herself apart from the world even as she tried to reach for it.

“I’ve felt that kind of guidance before. When nothing made sense except the step in front of you. And even then, it didn’t feel like your own.”

She let out a quiet breath, looking back to the stream, mirroring Reina’s gaze.

“You seem troubled. If you are willing, I will listen.” she turned toward Reina. "My name is Taiia. You are?" she spoke and extended a hand toward her.




 

Tag: Taiia Mataan Taiia Mataan

"It's never worked for me. That feeling of calm I mean."

It was hard to feel calm in a place you never felt like you belonged. Reina wasn't made for peace. She wasn't made for the calm moments. The quiet moments. They let her mind run. Run too fast. Faster than her conscious thoughts could ever catch up. She shook her head however, trying not to dwell on that as she instead let her gaze focus on her reflection in the water. A reflection that some days she could swear she doesn't recognise. It was not the same girl who had made a living fishing.

"I know it wasn't an accident. That I was guided here. The Spirit rarely guides me where I'm not meant to be. It pushes my sails in the direction I should walk. To the destination that I am best suited for. It blows in a new direction now. Away from what I'm used to. What I became accustomed to."

To say she was afraid would be an understatement. It was common to be afraid of the unknown. Even Reina, who viewed herself as someone quite brave, it was still something that scared her. Not knowing where she was going. Where she'd end up. Who'd she more than likely end up hurting. It was all an unknown to her.

"I'm...It would depend on who you ask. If you asked my parents. My sister. I'm Raini. If you ask the people who know me. Who've raised me. It'd be Reina. If you ask me?...I don't know who I am anymore."

Reina turned her head over towards Taiia finally, raising an eyebrow at the hand that was held out to her before Reina reached out with her good hand to take the strangers hand and give a small handshake. It was the polite thing to do, even if Reina was somewhat wary of physical contact with anyone nowdays.

: Means written/typed communication : < Means Sign Language communication >
 










//: Reina Daival Reina Daival //:​



Taiia said nothing at first.

When Reina took her hand, she could sense the hesitance but didn't linger on it a quick polite shake and then they both would move on.

She let Reina's words settle, like the first gentle snow in winter. The kind of honesty Reina offered wasn't something Taiia rushed to meet with platitudes it demanded more than that. Deserved more.

"It's alright," she said quietly. "To not feel calm. Some people think peace should be easy. That it just happens when you're in the right place, doing the right thing. But that's not how it works."

Her voice was soft, low not hesitant, but careful. "Sometimes peace has to be fought for. Not out there," she lifted a hand slightly, a vague gesture toward the horizon, "but in here." She tapped lightly over her heart.

She paused, listening not to the Force, not to anything grand or cosmic. Just to the wind, and Reina's presence beside her.

"You followed something that brought you here. Whatever label you attach to it. You trusted it enough to walk forward, even if you don't know where it's leading. It takes courage to do that. "You don't have to know who you are right now. You only have to keep walking long enough to find out."



 

Tag: Taiia Mataan Taiia Mataan

"If I was to listen to my Master...or well, I suppose ex-Master now, fighting shouldn't be done for anything...No. That's wrong. I'm twisting her words...It's killing that never should be done."

Reina was not arrogant enough to believe that she was always right. But the topic had been something that she refused to budge on. It wasn't courage. It wasn't out of pride. It was because Reina was far too stubborn to budge on things. It was perhaps not the best trait to have in the Galaxy, but it was one of the things that truly defined her. People tried to change it about her. Tried to make her give up on being stubborn...but each time she fought against it.

"I don't think peace suits me. It never has. Even a peaceful sea is only ever showing you one side of itself. It'll never stay like that."

Was it that she trusted the Force to keep her walking? Or was it because she simply didn't know any better? She didn't know how to settle down. To stay in one place for too long. She had tried that with the Jedi...but Reina was slowly starting to realise that wasn't her. It was never was. And it would never be.

: Means written/typed communication : < Means Sign Language communication >
 










//: Reina Daival Reina Daival //:​



Taiia didn't interrupt. She let Reina finish, let the words come out tangled and corrected and honest in the way only someone thinking aloud could manage. When she did speak, her tone was calm, unhurried neither agreeing nor contradicting, just meeting Reina where she stood.

"Killing is a line," she said quietly. "It's good to know where yours is. Sometimes it is necessary to cross that line. There is a difference between defense and pacifism."

She turned her attention back to the river as Reina spoke of peace, of seas that never stayed calm. Taiia watched the current for a moment, the way it slipped around stones without ever truly stopping.

"Peace isn't stillness," she said softly "It's not quiet. And it isn't permanence. Anyone who tells you it is hasn't spent much time listening."

Her eyes returned to Reina, not probing, not judging.

"Some people aren't meant to settle. Not because they're broken, or restless by mistake but because movement is how they understand the world. There's nothing wrong with that. I loved someone like that once as a matter of fact."

She paused, choosing her next words with care.

"You don't have to be peaceful to be careful. You don't have to be calm to be kind. And you don't have to stay in one place to be true to yourself."

The faintest hint of a smile touched her expression.

"If the sea were always calm, sailors would learn nothing from it."



 
Last edited:

Tag: Taiia Mataan Taiia Mataan

"Love is pointless. Or...It's pointless to certain people. Those who will never be loved. Those who are abandoned by those who are meant to care for them."

Reina simply let the words tumble out. Love wasn't something she believed she deserved. Platonic. Familial. Romantic. It was why she had stayed away from her family, even after finding them. Why she had took her away from those she saw as a friends, because she ultimately viewed them as not needing her. She was far too different to what the Jedi needed.

It hurt. More than she cared to admit. All Reina wanted was a place to settle down in. But it never worked for her. Each time she had to pick up and move, it just hurt more. To know that she didn't belong there. It was one of the things Reina dreamed of the most now, desired. A place to belong. A place to be loved and wanted. The Jedi had been that. For a short while. She might have temporarily been loved...been wanted...but she never belonged there. Plenty of people had told her otherwise. The looks they had given her...

"If the sea was always at storm, sailors would never go out onto it. They'd find alternatives to make a living. Safer ways. Ways better than me..."

: Means written/typed communication : < Means Sign Language communication >
 










//: Reina Daival Reina Daival //:​


She let the river speak first the steady rush of water over stone, constant and powerful. Reina's words were not dramatic. They were quiet. And quiet pain was the kind that lingered longest.

When Taiia finally spoke, her voice was gentle, but it did not indulge the despair.

"Love is not pointless" she said softly. "But it can feel that way when it isn't returned."

She did not challenge Reina's experience. She did not dismiss it. She simply shifted it.

"There are people who abandon. There are people who fail. That does not make you unlovable."

Her gaze drifted briefly to the river again.

"You speak as though you are a storm others must endure."

A faint, knowing look touched her expression.

"Storms are not unwanted, Reina. Storms also bring life giving water to the land, wind that drives ships across water. The current that allows a mill to turn. They are respected. Sailors study them. Learn from them. Build stronger ships because of them. A sea that never changes creates weak sailors."

She let that sit before continuing.

"You say sailors would find safer waters if the sea was always storming. Perhaps, some would. Others would stay, because they understand the sea is not their enemy. It is simply itself."

Her eyes returned fully to Reina now.

"You are not 'worse' than safer alternatives. You are not a problem to be fixed. You are simply not meant for every harbor. Belonging is not found by shrinking yourself into something calmer. It is found where someone can stand in your wind and not flinch."

She tilted her head slightly.

"And you will find that. But not if you decide ahead of time that you are unworthy of it."


 

Tag: Taiia Mataan Taiia Mataan

"Because I am a storm. I only bring pain and suffering to those around me. I can not fix. I can not protect. Nor can I heal. All I do is destroy. Break. Kill."

That was what the looks she had been given told her. That most people did not care to look in her direction, for fear that she would have lashed out at them. Reina had tried her hardest to learn. To grow from who she was. To try and get out of her comfort zone, but she had never been rewarded for it.

"If a sea that never changes creates weak sailors, perhaps a Galaxy that never changes creates weak Jedi."

It wasn't a comment that Reina meant to make. It sounded like she was insulting the Jedi, when that was farthest from what she had intended. Reina respected the Jedi to an extent. She had saw herself as one for a while, had wanted to be one. But she had came to the decision that she couldn't be what the Order viewed as a Jedi. To be peaceful. A pacifist. It was not her way. She'd find her own way. Eventually at least.

"Near enough everyone I have met, has made me shrink away. To fit into their box. And those who would accept me have abandoned me. So what else am I meant to assume?"

: Means written/typed communication : < Means Sign Language communication >
 










//: Reina Daival Reina Daival //:​



Taiia did not flinch at the force of Reina's words, nor did she try to blunt them into something softer than they were. She let the accusation stand in the air between them before answering.

"You are not destruction," she said gently, her voice steady rather than sharp. "You are power that has not yet been given the right place to stand."

She did not deny what Reina had done or what she believed about herself. Instead, she shifted the weight of it.

"You say you cannot fix, cannot protect, cannot heal, and that all you do is destroy. Those are not truths about who you are. They are conclusions you have drawn from moments in your life. Skills can be learned. Strength can be refined. And protection does not always look like mending something with your hands."

Her gaze remained calm, not pitying, not dismissive.

"If you have fought, if you have killed, it does not mean that is all you are capable of. It means you survived in the only way you knew how at the time. There is a difference."

When Reina spoke of a galaxy that never changes creating weak Jedi, Taiia inclined her head slightly.

"The galaxy changes constantly. The Jedi endure because they bend, sometimes imperfectly, sometimes painfully. Strength is not pretending the storm does not exist. It is choosing how you move within it."

She allowed herself a small breath before continuing.

"If you cannot be a pacifist, then do not force yourself into that shape. Peace is not the same as passivity, and restraint is not the same as weakness. There are many ways to walk in the light without denying the fire in your hands."

Her expression softened when Reina spoke of shrinking, of being forced into someone else's idea of her, of those who accepted her and then left.

"When people leave, it is easy to assume you are the common thread and therefore the cause. But departure is rarely that simple. People walk away because of their own fears, their own paths, their own limits. Their leaving is not proof that you are unworthy."

She held Reina's gaze with quiet certainty.

"You are not required to shrink to be loved. You are not required to sand down your edges to fit inside someone else's definition of safe. The right place for you will not demand that you become smaller to remain."

Her voice did not rise, did not harden, but it carried weight.

"What you must stop doing is deciding that you are the disaster before anyone else has had the chance to see you clearly. You are not a storm that exists only to ruin. You are a force that has not yet learned where it belongs."


 

Tag: Taiia Mataan Taiia Mataan

"Except I can't /heal/. I've had people die in my arms, since I can't heal others. I couldn't protect them. I can't fix something with my hands. I can't even protect them with my own body"

Of course, it had been a mission that had brought up some more negative emotions in Reina than just the death of someone. The lives that the Alliance had thrown away, for the sake of one Padawan. It had both disgusted Reina and made her jealous. No-one would have done the same for Reina. If she had been captured, there wouldn't be some grand army that came to save her. Of course, she hadn't been the Padawan to one of the most important people in the Jedi Order. Hell, she had barely been that important for her own master, who had saw it as better to try and talk things out with the woman who had kidnapped Reina as opposed to fight her.

She shook her head, trying not to focus on that anger. It was a near impossible task for her once she started to remember it all however. The moment almost as fresh in her mind as the day it happened, even though it had been a fair few years ago now. The blood that had leaked onto her hands. The begging the soldier had done. How he had asked her to hand something off to his wife. The memory of when his wife had slapped Reina across the face. More and more moments that made her want to hate the Galaxy, like she used to. Yet...she couldn't bring herself to hate the Galaxy. Only herself.

"What if the right place for me is somewhere that causes pain? What if the Sith are the right place for me, as I've had so many people tell me?"

The boogeymen. As Reina had been taught to see them. They were meant to be the enemy. Not people that Reina aspired to be with. Of course, if she only had a clue what the future had set off before her...but alas, prophecy was not a skill that she excelled in whatsoever.

: Means written/typed communication : < Means Sign Language communication >
 

Users who are viewing this thread

Top Bottom