Criticism welcome

[Alkor Centaris]

So, I had been working on the character for a while before I finally settled on a direction I liked, and what I settled on has started to take hold. With that in mind, I'd like to see what people think- good, bad, otherwise? Do you love the character, hate him, or are you indifferent? What could I do better, where are my shortcomings.

Looking for constructive criticism only, please- if your feedback helps me improve, I'm fine with it being "I don't like this," but if all you want to say is "you suck lol," you can just do that on Discord or something.

Thanks!

 

[Keira Priest]

I've been writing with Alkor since before he joined the Mandalorians, so I've gotten to watch his metamorphosis firsthand. You played out his learning curve really well, from his utter loss and confusion when he was handed armor and told to do his best, to when he constantly insisted that Keira stop calling him her little brother because it annoyed him. That side of Alkor was well-written and even funny at times, though I don't think the character himself ever truly intended to be. Despite his relative lack of emotional depth at that point in his story, he was still a fun and dynamic character to interact with.

This new side of Alkor is refreshing in comparison, and I've enjoyed every minute of learning about him. He's lost his emotional frigidity and is slowly but surely allowing himself to demonstrate affection for his family and people, even if the only way he knows how to do that right now is offering to kill someone's problems for them. In a way it feels like an entirely new character without splitting off entirely from the old, and it gives a new look while still holding true to facets of his personality that will always be there. I've loved every minute of writing with him, and seeing how he processes this new world of feeling that's been so alien up until now.

I'd say maybe focus on the character more in his day-to-day, and show those interactions just as much as you do combat and his other responsibilities. That, and we seriously need a day in the life thread with these two, and I'll keep saying it until it comes to be.

[member="Alkor Centaris"]