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Crimson knight armor

that one star wars fan

New Member
T

OUT OF CHARACTER INFORMATION
PRODUCTION INFORMATION
  • Manufacturer: the first crimson knight draculous
  • Affiliation: the crimsonknights
  • Market Status: (Closed-Market
  • Model: N/A
  • Modularity: no
  • Production: The scale is Minor
  • Material: the armor is made of phrik a very lightweight material that is resistant to lightsabers and the Atsak parasite fused with the phrik
TECHNICAL SPECIFICATIONS
  • Classification: light armor
  • Weight: light
  • Resistances:
    • Energy: average
    • Kinetic: Average
    • Lightsabers: high
    • Other: Average
SPECIAL FEATURES
  • This armor also makes you stronger when enraged or feeling negative emotions do to the the atsak parasite
  • This armor can regenerate do to the parasite infused in the phrik
STRENGTHS
  • Good For melee combat
  • good protection against lightsabers
WEAKNESSES
  • Weak to explosions
  • Weak to blasters firing at a high velocity
DESCRIPTION
this armor was made by the crimson knights a long time ago 2 years after the crimson knights first started at that point because of them using the powers of the dark side and they needed a armor that can channel the dark side and make them stronger so they decided to experiment and infused the Atsak parasite with phrik by putting the parasite on the armor and letting the parasite slowly fuse with the armor making it into a parasitic armor that feeds off negative emotions
 
Last edited:

Ravenfire

King of Pumpkins
Ravenfire
Moderator
Character Bio
T that one star wars fan

Please only @ me or quote me once you've completed the changes and please don't make it multiple pings. I am looking after a lot of other submissions and I would rather they don't get buried under your pings. If you continue doing it to me or other factory judges you could face getting banned from factory just so your aware of that since you seem very new.

Lets go through everything

Starting with Out of Character Information.

So Image Source is generally used when you have an image in the post itself to credit where its from. And this particular image seems to source back to Dracula Untold the Movie or even another user on pintrest. We prefer to not use Pintrest so using Dracula Untold as the source would be fine if you used an image from it.

Your missing Canon Link from it, it needs to be apart of this section even if it has an N/A.

Permissions are for any submissions you used that are other writers not to list out who can use your stuff, that comes under production Information.

Production Information
Link the Manufacturer for me.
Material has to have some kind of something listed I am not letting you just have an unknown material thats immune to blaster shots without having some canon material or a material you or someone else has put through factory.

Technical Specifications
Classification should list what kind of armor is it like an exosuit, is it medium armor, light armor, robes, ect.

Balance is way off so how that works is this
Minor -1
Weightless +3
Very High +2
Overall balance +4
this leaves you 4 points over the standard factory balance. so you need to lower production, increase the weight or decrease some of your resistances you currently have listed.

Special Features
How does the armor glow red when someone falls to the darkside, do you have a canon link to anything for something like this or is it like a force imbuement?
How does the armor make you stronger? Is it an exosuit or a power suit that increases strength.

Strengths
Hows it good for melee combat, its only average in terms of dealing with kinetics which would generally be melee combat

Weaknesses
Hows it weak to only unstable lightsabres? you've listed lightsabres as average.
It cannot be weal to blasters firing at a high velocity and have a very high rating in resistances.

Description
You could add more to this, how did this armor come to exist, why does it exist. Ect. its your choice but it helps with the roleplay of the armor.
 

Ravenfire

King of Pumpkins
Ravenfire
Moderator
Character Bio
T that one star wars fan

Okay lets look over this again

So canon link should be after Image source but before Permissions.

Image source should be linked so people can still see it, in this case link it to the IMDB page and add the picture.

Again manufacturer please link it or if you don't have a link for it yet then add your character whose currently connected to the faction to your primary sources.

For Materials you need to list both Phrik and Force Alchemy

Since you have force alchemy / Force Imbuements which don't just increase resilience they fall under Restricted Materials meaning that you will need to make them semi-unique or lose the force imbuements.
 

that one star wars fan

New Member
T
Ravenfire Ravenfire done but instead of Imbuement I replaced it with a parasite that is in the approved species forum which most of the time the parasite replaces a limb and i also replaced some abilities and added abilities as well as some strengths and weaknesses
 

John Locke

V U L K A N
John Locke
Admin
Character Bio
T that one star wars fan

You have been warned before by the judge about tagging them multiple times. Although I know you're eager and it's not your intent the rules specifically state:

2. Do not bump your submissions.
Click to expand...

This is to prevent our volunteer judges from being overwhelmed with your pings so they loose track of other submissions or threads in the spam. While you may be excited to inform the judge of your progress, in the future please complete all the adjustments you want to make before writing up one post with your thoughts, notes and queries and tag your judge in that thread.

As for this submission, please tag me when you're ready to start working on it.
 
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