Private Crazy Rich Jedi

[Xian Xiao]

Xian scrunched her nose, glaring at Noriko with all the sharp, dramatic indignation only a teenager could manage.

"I'm not running!" She declared, arms crossing tightly over her chest. "I'm already in shape. Like—actually in shape. I do flips off rooftops, Noriko. I don't need to jog a million miles before breakfast like some longma-legged endurance monster."

She pointed at her own head, black eyes narrowing.

"And my hair? I color it. On purpose. Because I like it. Not because I'm 'maintaining' anything." She made air quotes so exaggerated that she nearly threw her shoulder out. "So your fake science doesn't apply to me."

Noriko laughed, which only deepened Xian's scowl.

"I mean it," Xian insisted, chin lifting, stubborn as stone. "I am not running ten miles. Or five. Or three. I walked all the way here yesterday, and that totally counts as cardio."

She grabbed a piece of fruit off the table, took a decisive bite, and jabbed it in Noriko's direction like a tiny, furious saber.

"And I don't have ingrown hairs. I'm too young and too perfect for that. So all your 'grooming trials' can wait until I'm forty."

She turned on her heel dramatically toward the fresher door Noriko had disappeared behind.

"And don't try to Jedi-mind-trick me!" she called through the door. "I am immune before breakfast."

Noriko Ike

 

[Noriko Ike]

Xian Xiao

"Of course, I never said three or five." She said it while walking. "And I would never mind trick you, that only works on the weak minded and well." She said it going out the door with a stretch in the hallway. Taking only a moment or two for herself as she was finishing what she was eating with a grin on her face. The small bottle for water going to a small magnetic clip on her belt that would hold it. "Now come on, we'll work off breakfast and get some muscle on you." She had more while moving but was pulling her here back into a tighter ponytail that she would be be able to have out of the way. Herr squats coming down to stretch more and more with only the grin sticking on her face when she sang a little to herself. "And I would walk five hundred miles an hours... then walk five hundred more."

 

[Xian Xiao]

Xian groaned so loudly it echoed down the hall.

She stormed after Noriko, hair a little messy, expression entirely done with this entire morning. "Of course you didn't say three or five," she muttered under her breath. "You said ten. Because you're secretly some Atrisian war-drill demon."

Noriko kept stretching, cheerful and unbothered, and Xian stared at her with the hollow eyes of someone witnessing the downfall of civilization.

"And I'm not weak-minded," she shot back, pointing at her own head. "My mind is so strong that even before breakfast, I resist your Jedi propaganda." She gestured dramatically to Noriko's water bottle. "That clip is propaganda. Those squats are propaganda."

Noriko kept stretching, humming, and Xian blinked.

"…Are you singing at me?"

She dragged a hand down her face.

"Oh Force, you are. You're singing. Great. Fantastic. This is how I die. Not in battle. Not in glory. But on a hallway floor, listening to my Jedi master sing about walking five hundred miles an hour."

Xian mimicked Noriko's squat half-heartedly, then immediately regretted it.

"No. Absolutely not."
She straightened her spine, defiant.
"You are not putting any more muscle on me. I am agile. Fast. Graceful. A leaf in the wind."

She poked Noriko's arm.

"You are a boulder in boxing gloves."

But even as she complained, Xian shuffled after her, kicking lightly at Noriko's heel as she went.

"And if we're doing this," she grumbled, "I want a water clip too. A cool one. With spikes. Or flames. Or something that warns people that I was forced into this."

Noriko hummed even louder.

Xian stared at her.

"I hate mornings."

Noriko Ike

 

[Noriko Ike]

Xian Xiao

She looked at her and blinked. "No I am not singing towards you... and I am not a boulder.. I am muscle on a petite, sleek, atrisian frame and Atrisians you will learn are valued cause hot... also we age gracefully if we take care of ourselves." She was looking at it though as going outside the morning air was there. "Plus, I ran earlier in the morning to I know it can be done... while you were sleeping and snoring loudly. it was the only safe place to go... still better then the gas in your sleep." She said it and looked back while tossing a water clip for Xian before she started jogging with a laugh. "If you want to complain you are going to have to keep up so I can hear you.... otherwise you'll just look crazier speaking to yourself."

 

[Xian Xiao]

Xian didn't even pretend to move when Noriko started jogging.
She just stared after her, deadpan, clutching the water bottle like it had betrayed her personally.

"Good," she called back, loud enough for Noriko to hear but flat as a dropped datapad. "Because if the options are:
A—run,
or B—be declared clinically unwell and live out my days in a cushioned room with soft blankets and scheduled nap time…"

She made a show of thinking, tapping the water clip against her chin.

"…then I pick the funny farm. Happily. Proudly. I will thrive there."

She folded her arms, chin lifting in defiance even as Noriko disappeared farther down the street.

"Because at least in the funny farm, no one is forcing me to do morning cardio."

Xian didn't move an inch, not even a warm-up stretch—just planted herself like a stubborn little tree refusing to be uprooted.

"And also," she added, raising her voice again, "I do not snore! That's slander. Jedi aren't supposed to lie!"

She waited.

No answer from Noriko.

Xian frowned.

"…Noriko?
NORIKO?!"

Realizing her master was already half a block ahead, Xian groaned dramatically and started speed-walking after her.

Not jogging.
Never jogging.
Just walking too fast to be normal.

"If I die, I'm haunting you!" she shouted, breath already short. "And NOT gracefully like an Atrisian ancestor—I'm talking full poltergeist!"

Noriko Ike

 

[Noriko Ike]

Xian Xiao

She could hearr her with the force and kept moving with a grin on her face the entire time. Herr muscles feeling the force as it revitalized them.. the lactic acid stopped for the time being before she was evening out her breathing. THe blood was pumping when she barely needed to spare a look backwards to know she was at least making the effort. Noriko took a little time to weave between areas going back and forth to just add a few more steps to it before she was checking on Xian only for a moment in the force but she kept going only speaking to herself. "Well hopefully you can catch up... would hate for your best insults to be heard by no one."

 

[Xian Xiao]

Xian absolutely heard that.

Mainly because Noriko broadcast it like someone shouting through the Force with a megaphone.

"Oh, that is not fair!" Xian complained to the air, picking up her pace without meaning to. She wasn't running—Force forbid—but her "very aggressive walking" had turned into something suspiciously jog-adjacent.

She scowled at the path ahead, muttering just loud enough for Noriko to hear if she was listening.

"You know what? Good. GOOD. I want my insults to echo through the lonely void where you abandoned me like some tragic little goblin."

She skipped over a small stone—dramatically, unnecessarily—then kept going.

"And for the record," she shouted, "if you didn't want me behind you, you shouldn't have put me in a position where the only thing between me and death is my pride!"

Noriko's signature in the Force stayed ahead, steady, maddeningly calm.

Xian… was not calm. Her hair was already sticking to her forehead.

"I hope you trip on your own superiority!" she yelled—still speed-walking—and then, quieter, under her breath:

"…Stars above, why does she run like she's chasing the sunrise…?"

She pushed, stubborn and fiery and determined not to be too far behind.

If nothing else, she'd make sure Noriko could still hear her complaining.

Noriko Ike

 

[Noriko Ike]

Xian Xiao

She could hear her and feel her gaining for a moment.. she was that close to joining the movement that it was a cusp as Noriko kept jogging enough. Maintaining it with only a laugh. She turned where she had before as the tracks for the longma circled the one field that she followed with one of the large beasts running with her to eat up time for herself. She moved to round the track and keep it going while taking a small sip of the water when she waved for Xian to see she was doing laps while waiting for her until she could get back onto the track itself... the course she had planned out for them at least. "Worth it." She said it for a momentwhen she stretched a little more feeling it in her legs. "Oh feel the burn and those pounds just melting away... all that tone in those hammies."

 

[Xian Xiao]

Xian stopped dead in her tracks.

Noriko's cheerful voice carried across the field like sunshine and suffering combined, and for a long, breathless moment, Xian stood there… absolutely done.

Her chest rose and fell, not with exertion anymore, but with the deep, soulful exhale of a teenager reconsidering all her life choices.

Then, very slowly, she lifted her hand.

A spark snapped between her fingers — a tiny, flickering thread of lightning, no more dangerous than static but beautifully dramatic. It fuzzed the ends of her hair and cast a faint blue glow over her very unimpressed face.

"Oh, I definitely could," she muttered darkly to herself.

She imagined — only imagined — letting that little spark drift toward the back of Noriko's ponytail like an annoyed firefly. Nothing harmful. Nothing serious. Just enough to make her yelp and maybe fall on her perfectly toned Atrisian butt.

Just a little zap. Just enough for the Force to understand my pain.

Noriko kept jogging.

Xian's eye twitched.

"You know what?" she called out, trying to sound strong despite sounding like she had one lung left. "I could lightning you. I could. The Force gave me the elements, remember? Wind, fire, lightning— all the dramatic stuff."

She jogged… for exactly three steps… before slowing back to a walk.

"But I'm a good person," she continued loudly, as though convincing herself. "So instead of actually shocking you… I'm just going to think about it for the next ten minutes."

She pointed an accusing finger as another spark popped against her palm.

"So if you feel your hair stand up? That's not static. That's me restraining myself."

A beat.

"Also, I'm still not running."

Noriko Ike

 

[Noriko Ike]

Xian Xiao

Noriko didn't stop.. she moved with her feet showing a skill before she was jogging backwards almost seamlessly without a stop or drop in speed. "Ah but see padawan you have a problem there to do something like that. You'd have to A keep up and B catch me and since you don't want to move above an old hutts crawl speed on a bed of salt." She smiled turning back around and moving faster to make some distance as she spoke and herr voice carried. "I am preferring my chances." She didn't flat out run but she increased the pace for herself. To only laugh a little when focusing on the force in her limbs and her senses. "Come on you are very good Xian."

 

[Xian Xiao]

Xian stared at her.

Just stared.

Noriko jogging backwards at full speed while taunting her like some tiny, graceful, Atrisian forest spirit of cardio was—without exaggeration—the most personally offensive thing Xian had ever witnessed.

Lightning crackled at her fingertips again, just a whisper, a little bzzt of righteous teenage fury.

"Oh, you think you're clever," Xian muttered under her breath, watching Noriko peel away with that impossible ease, the Force practically singing through her limbs.

She didn't run.
She refused to run.
Instead, she stomped after her at a fast walk, which absolutely did not count as jogging if she refused to admit it.

"You are so lucky I'm responsible," she called out, narrowing her black eyes in theatrical warning. "Because if I wasn't? If I wasn't trying very hard to be the mature one here?"

A gust of wind rolled across the track—her doing, petty and deliberate—ruffling Noriko's hair like an irritated breeze flicking a leaf.

"I would summon a gale so strong you'd eat gravel."

Noriko, annoyingly, looked delighted.

Xian groaned and pinched the bridge of her nose dramatically.
"You know what your real problem is?" she said, voice carrying across the track as she trudged after her master like someone heading to their own execution. "You believe in me. It's very irresponsible. Makes me feel like I actually have to try."

She walked faster. Not running. Definitely not.
Her hair fluttered with little static snaps as her irritation simmered.

"And don't call me good!" she shouted. "Good people don't fantasize about juggling their masters with lightning bolts!"

A beat.

Another spark at her fingertips.

"…I mean, I could, though."

Noriko Ike

 

[Noriko Ike]

Xian Xiao

"There is a chance you are genetically an elder or grandmother to me so being more mature fits and explains the grey and the flab we are trying to get off and the slow walk speed." She said it and was ticking the points off on her fingers while she was moving. Xian waas getting up there and NOriko could feel it while she just maintained her grin of excitement. She was having fun... Xian just needed to have some fun and enjoy her life. "But yes you are being the good girl, look at you all responsible and calm, totally not threatening bodily harm to your favorite teacher, relative and jedi who never plans to aabandon you unless you run away... which run."

 

[Xian Xiao]

Xian stopped dead in her tracks.

Then, very slowly, she turned and stared at Noriko with the flat, unimpressed expression of someone who had just chosen violence in their heart.

"Genetically your what?"

She lifted a hand and pointed at Noriko's face, eyes narrowing.

"Say 'grandmother' again and I will absolutely throw you into the nearest fountain."

Her voice was calm.
Too calm.
The kind of calm that promised trouble.

But instead of running, jogging, or anything remotely resembling physical effort, Xian inhaled — deeply — the air around her tightening like a coiled spring.

"I'm not slow," she continued sweetly. "I'm efficient."

On her exhale, a gust of wind lifted under her feet, sliding beneath her steps like invisible glass. She didn't run. She didn't jog. She let the air carry her forward in a smooth, effortless glide, passing Noriko with all the smug grace of someone on an invisible moving sidewalk.

She floated a few meters ahead, turned around without touching the ground, and drifted backwards through the air while maintaining eye contact.

"Look at that," she said, voice dry, "I am both moving and not exerting myself. Truly a miracle."

She placed a hand dramatically over her heart.

"And as for threatening bodily harm? Please. I don't threaten you, Noriko."
A breeze lifted her hair like a dramatic stage fan.
"I promise you."

Then she winked and drifted even farther ahead, calling over her shoulder:

"Try to catch me, Auntie Grey Hairs!"

Noriko Ike

 

[Noriko Ike]

Xian Xiao

Noriko heard her and then watched her fly past with a laugh coming to herself as she kept moving with a raised eyebrow and shrugged. "Okay." She evened out her pace while she continued and well now she could let Xian wait for her. Noriko moved more casually as she got a few looks from the horselords.. a couple of them were there following her movements as she waved and winked. Looking up at them while she got the chance to jog in peace and quiet. Letting the morning breeze keep her awake until she was done with twelve miles... she had a chance to stretch afterwards as it had taken her to the kitchens. A wider grin at all of the food laid out when NOriko got to really good look at it all. "Ohhh food." She said it to herself.. Xian was patiant she could wait wherever she flew off to while Noriko got to eat.

 

[Xian Xiao]

Xian touched down lightly on the edge of a rooftop overlooking the track, arms crossed, an eyebrow twitching upward as she watched Noriko jog — not chase, not try, not even pretend to keep up — but… shrug and go about her day like Xian hadn't just soared past her on a cushion of wind.

"Unbelievable," Xian muttered, deadpan. "The whole point of cheating is to annoy her. She can't just not be annoyed. That defeats the purpose."

She stayed there long enough to feel her irritation simmer into a dramatic teenage sigh, then pushed off the ledge, letting the air buoy her into a slow, lazy glide back toward the palace.

By the time she reached the courtyard, she paused — feeling through the Force, sensing Noriko's signature not out on the track, not yelling at her, not plotting revenge, but…

In the kitchens.
Already stuffing her face.

Xian blinked once.

"And she calls me irresponsible?"

She dropped lightly to the kitchen doorway just in time to watch Noriko practically radiating delight over the food spread. Xian crossed her arms again, tapping one foot against the tile.

"You do realize," she said flatly, "that you dragged me out of bed at dawn, forced me to run, insulted my hair, and threatened me with premature gray—"

She pointed at her.
"—only to abandon me for snacks?"

Her eyes narrowed, though the corners of her mouth threatened a smile she tried to suppress.

"And I already ate breakfast. So if you think I'm running another step without bribery or bodily coercion, think again."

Xian leaned forward slightly, chin tilting up in smug triumph.

"Actually, no. I changed my mind. I am invoking sacred teen logic."

She held up a finger.
One.
Authoritative.

"You ditched me. Meaning I am now officially excused from all exercise for the rest of the day."

A breeze spun lazily around her ankles, lifting her hair just enough to punctuate the declaration.

"And yes, that rule is real," she added. "I just invented it."

Noriko Ike

 

[Noriko Ike]

Xian Xiao

Noriko looked at the girl who had come into the kitchen as she was taking a small bite of the fruit and listened to her with a neutral expression. "Okay." She said it while getting the food and a drink. "I ran ten miles before dawn when I woke you up and twelve miles now... I worked for my food and got to show off this toned and cute body to the locals which makes one feel pretty." She said it and took a drink while she skipped to herself with a small laugh. Internally she thought one thing... best way to drive her is to make her enraged as then she does things so. "I'm going to go and relax outside, maybe get a little sun and flirt with a few of the riders."

 

[Xian Xiao]

Xian stiffened, arms snapping tighter across her chest as Noriko skipped past her — skipped — looking insufferably pleased with herself. Xian narrowed her eyes so hard she practically saw through the walls.

"I am never," she declared, voice pitching upward in teenage indignation, "going to flirt with anybody. Ever."

She added a decisive nod for emphasis, as if sealing a sacred oath before the Force itself.

Her black eyes followed Noriko's bounce toward the exit, suspicious, irritated, and — though she'd die before admitting it — impressed by the twelve miles. Twelve. Who even did that?

When Noriko announced her plans to go lounge in the sun and flirt with riders, Xian made a strangled noise somewhere between a gasp and a growl.

"Ugh. Adults." She threw her hands up. "Fine. Go. Do whatever it is you people do when you're not torturing innocent minors with—" She gestured vaguely at the entire concept of running. "—cardio."

A small, annoyed gust swirled around her ankles, flipping a stray paper napkin into the air in perfect, petty punctuation.

"I'm going to sit right here," she declared, dramatically plopping onto a stool, "and not run. And not flirt. And not do whatever weird grown-up social ritual you're about to do."

She crossed her arms again, chin lifting defiantly.

"I'll just sit here like a normal person who values her lungs."

Then, with all the fury of a sulking cyclone, she added:

"Humph."

Noriko Ike

 

[Noriko Ike]

Xian Xiao

"Didn't say it was you who would be doing it." Noriko said it while she was going and spoke. "And the only one being tortured with cardio will be me maybe... hopefully." She laughed more but was going with a skip while Xian got to fume and do what she wanted. She'd find her later at dinner time after anything fun and important gets done. She was moving out into the courtyard where the other people were with joy and excitement.. a chance to learn from another culture was an important aspect of the jedi and she would do all that she could with it. Meeting one of the ones she had been running and seen. The horselord was on his longma and invited her up as she lept landing in front of him before they were racing off into the fields of flowers and birds

 

[Xian Xiao]

Xian stared after Noriko, lips parted in outraged disbelief as the woman skipped away like some overcaffeinated sun-fairy headed for mischief.

"Didn't say it was me—" Xian muttered under her breath, mimicking the tone, rolling her eyes so hard she saw her own past lives. "Oh, Force forbid Noriko missed a chance to be cryptic."

She watched the scene unfold in the courtyard with mounting horror:
Noriko getting invited up onto a Longma.
Noriko gracefully leaped.
Noriko riding off with some ridiculously handsome horselord like she lived inside a romance holo-drama.

Xian blinked slowly.

Disgusting.

She slumped back in her chair, crossing her arms in a sulk so deep it might require excavation droids.

"Adults," she grumbled, glaring at nothing in particular. "The second they smell flowers or see someone tall, they just—" She made a vague flailing gesture. "—lose their minds."

A breeze swirled around her ankles again, sharper this time, betraying the irritation she was trying (and failing) to suppress. A fruit peel slid off the counter and skittered across the floor.

She didn't kick it.
She let the air handle it out of principle.

With a dramatic sigh that could have powered a starship, she dropped her forehead into her palms.

"Whatever. Go ride into the sunset with your horse-boyfriend."
She paused.
"See if I care."

After a moment, she lifted her head and added, sniffing:

"I'm not jealous. I think it's unsafe. And stupid. And reckless. And—"
Her voice dropped to a mumble.
"—show-offy."

Xian stood, brushing her hands off decisively.

"Fine. She can run off into a field like a storybook disaster." She straightened her tunic, tried to reclaim dignity. "I will be here. Doing something sane."

She began to walk away… then paused, glaring in the direction Noriko had vanished.

"Humph."

Noriko Ike

 

[Noriko Ike]

Xian Xiao

FOr a moment she shivered... Noriko imagined and thought about it if she was going to far but Xian had made a point of asking her to be her master as a padawan and then suddenly didn't want it and had altered her entire mindset... so just desserts... also hotness makes one quiver. She was moving in the seat of the longma as they stopped and the sun was high in the sky. She slipped off with a look as the flowers were high enough to her knees that when she dropped herself down into the bed of flowers it was a nice feeling to just be there. She spent severral hours and returned as the sun was setting. Stopping in the kitchen as she got a tray of foods and drinks on a cart she could use and take with her to the room. Opening the door and coming in humming. "Hello, dinner time."