Craving

[Allyson Locke]

Close quarters, Ashin had made it into her ideal realm. The lightning was no longer her ally and it wasn't going to be usable unless she wanted to get electrocuted. The thought of tutaminis filled her mind, but the focus that was necessary for the storm and to cover her body with the force needed for the defensive skill was just too much. She was a Master yes, but even then there were limitations. Spencer stopped the lightning as she stared at Ashin, the woman made no attack towards her and just stood there watching and reading. The move baffled Spencer for a moment and then realized that this entire time she had been on the offensive. The focus on the storm subsided, but the clouds remained and the trickle of rain continued to downpour. Sliding her foot back, she settled into a neutral stance.

Deciding on not letting Ashin make the first move, Spencer went on the offensive once more. A focused wave of the force unleashed upon the tank in front of her. The force was focused into a small ball which would push against Ashin. Spencer didn't have the kill instinct, there had to be more factors involved to awaken that part of her. It was only on rare occasion that it came out. The most common way to unsurface this kill instinct was to have a known red twilek show up. [member="Ashin Varanin"]

 

[Ashin Varanin]

[member="Spencer Jacobs"]

TK wave focused into little ball? Baby kinetite. With a grimace, Ashin put a good bit of her strength into amping up the Force protection around herself. She didn't have time to ground herself beyond what she'd been doing to blitz through the wind, and that had faded. End result? A lot like getting smacked through a pillar by Lotek'k. Her close-range advantage vanished as the impact smashed against her shield and threw her flying into the broad trunk of a nearby deciduous tree.

She spun in midair. Wet bark crunched under her boots, hissed at the touch of her protective distortion, and shredded entirely as she shoved off. She wasn't one for aerial combat, not anymore, but there'd been a time when she'd helped a former Air shaper learn acrobatic, swooping blade combat -- on this very world, come to think of it. She had a decent grasp of the Sokan principles necessary to send herself pinballing back towards Spencer, boots-first.

This couldn't possibly go wrong.

 

[Allyson Locke]

Instead of trying to follow Ashin's pinballing, the Master focused on the force energy feeling it until it drew closer to her. Enhancing her speed simply with the Force she moved out of the line of Ashin's boots to the face move. The attack was all in it seemed and Spencer used it to her advantage. Once more she gathered the force and used Ashin's momentum against her. Force push was a well used trick and she continued to use it, she pushed the force behind Ashin's momentum attempting to send her off course with her attack. Standing she moved to make another attack , but waited. She wanted to see what Ashin did, how the woman reacted.

"You're still stubborn [member="Ashin Varanin"]"

 

[Ashin Varanin]

[member="Spencer Jacobs"]' telekinetic will accelerated Ashin's flight, flattening the parabola. She whipped past Spencer, giving her wife a glimpse of wide eyes -- because Ashin was impressed.

She hit the ground hard, surrounding herself in a cocoon of Force protection, and tore up earth as she rolled it out. A groan forced its way past gritted teeth; she picked herself up, putting as much focus as she could muster into reestablishing her defenses. "All right," she mumbled, eyeing her wife with tense and determined amusement. "All right, let's get this done."

Her fists snapped out; her fingers splayed, and a wave of telekinetic force ripped out at Spencer. After her return to the Light she'd spent many, many fights retraining herself, turning her first offensive instincts from lightning and Force Drain to simple telekinesis. What she couldn't recall was how much of her TK training Spencer had witnessed lately.

 

[Allyson Locke]

Spencer didn’t need to watch every moment of Ashin’s training, she could feel the change in Ashin and it made her happy. The woman felt familiar, she felt everything that she was before all of this. Still, even though she felt the shift of the Force, the Telekinetic attack caught her off guard. The blow was instant against her frame, it launched her dainty frame backwards. Using the Force around her to stabilize her own body, she landed back onto her feet yards away from the woman.

A smile crossed the blonde’s face, finally it was time to get serious with this fight. She originally had hoped that the Force storm would have pushed the limit, but it seemed that didn’t do it. A display of Telekinetic brilliance had to do it. Her fingers itched, there was one thing she wanted to do, but she didn’t know if she was ready to go down that road with Ashin just yet. The woman had to display control over that before the fight was over. Instead of going straight into a Force Drain, Spencer pushed that move to the bottom of her skill list and focused on a return attack. Instead of a physical attack, Spencer once again focused on Ashin’s mind. This time, instead of just putting pressure, she enveloped the woman’s mind with the force, but searched to resurface the heavy guilt the woman had harbored for so long.

Knowing this could cause problems, Spencer need to know that Ashin had dealt with that part of her past, that she was okay with what was going on with her now, if she couldn’t handle it now – Spencer wondered if Ashin would ever be able to move past it.

[member="Ashin Varanin"]

 

[Ashin Varanin]

[member="Spencer Jacobs"]

Weaponized guilt was a tricky business, in part because you never quite knew how the other side would choose to be motivated. When faced with guilt, some people locked down. Some tried to run, a futile but instinctive effort. Some got angry; some lapsed into self-hatred, some repented.

Guilt was a motivator. Sometimes that was even the point of guilt. Other times, it served as a whip, a spur, a tool.

Ashin had never been the sort to take a whip. Not when there was a face attached.

"I taught you this," she said, and hit back with thd sharp-edged memory of every Sith and Fringe atrocity that Spencer had abetted.

 

[Allyson Locke]

For Spencer, this was a tool. The woman functioned on using the emotions of her opponent to fuel her force techniques, especially her darkside techniques. The constructs from before weren't as powerful as they were now. Quickly in the palm of her hand she formed a larger construct. The guilt and the ill feelings coursed through her, she remembered everything from witnessing the massacre during the Sith Empire days, to the invasion of Atrisia where she ordered death to the nation. Every image vivid in her mind and the guilt weighing on her, she quickly used it to continue to build up the construct.

Stepping forward she twisted her body and fired the energy towards the woman who was weighing on her mind. In her other hand, smaller constructs formed and in succession, she flung the smaller version of the technique towards Ashin's chest. "You might have taught it to me, but I've perfected it." [member="Ashin Varanin"]

 

[Ashin Varanin]

[member="Spencer Jacobs"]

The main construct, a Spear of Midnight Black, shattered against Ashin's chest -- against the faint shimmer of twisted air that denoted Ashin's will at work -- with a sound like apocalypse. She staggered, grunted, as the secondary barrage chewed into her defenses; blood blossomed from half a dozen points. The inexperienced expected small or moderate wounds to cripple through blood loss; generally speaking, they didn't. What crippled a fighter was getting a sword through the gut when you were trying to get your body to cooperate. Lines of blood stood out hot on her stomach and breasts, and the front of her arms; she was halfway to lockup as it was.

But her knee had taught her how to fight locked up, how to keep going even when tension and pain had kept her from moving around in any serious way. After all this, it might still come back to attrition.

No retort or counterpoint took form; her mind was wholly occupied by the task of finding a gap in Spencer's defenses. She knew there wasn't one, not in any serious way, but luck could be on her side again.

For the moment, she bowed to the attrition game and solidified her own defenses.

 

[Allyson Locke]

Spencer felt the other woman poking through her defenses, it made her tilt her head as she watched Ashin take the blows of the constructs. The woman had chosen to continue inside trying to find a hole or some sort of gap. It was curious though, Ashin knew Spencer constantly had a shield around her mind at all times. The only time she ever let it down was when they were together at home and/or asleep. It was rare for anyone to really get inside of her head, the only time (of course without her knowledge was Jorus when he scrubbed her clean of some horrible memories). Spencer focused on locking Ashin out of her mind and if she wanted to play mind games, then that's where they were going.

Mentally she latched on to Ashin's presence in her mind and quickly used it as a entry way once again in. Putting pressure on the woman's mind, she started attempting to poke holes find a place that was sensitive and exploit it. A technique Spencer hadn't used in some time mimicked a hunger that they both knew. With the mental connection, she began to drain from Ashin's mind. [member="Ashin Varanin"]

 

[Ashin Varanin]

[member="Spencer Jacobs"]

Poking around the defenses of Spencer's mind had, at the very least, kept Ashin aware of that arena, so when Spencer latched onto the probe -- an old favorite technique of Ashin's -- the older woman wasn't caught flat-footed. Didn't mean the mind-to-mind Force Drain didn't hurt, of course, and not just hurt but slow down her thoughts. Stripped her down to emotion, and to the hunger that had tipped her over the edge during her fight with Odium.

She had no choice but to respond in kind. All she could do was dictate the details of how she attempted to feed her addiction, and with that moment of choice she opted to issue her return stroke mind-to-mind alongside the stream of attack. Their Force Drain barrages, purely mental, rested against each other like sabacc cards in a card house -- each with the potential to slip, each countering the other in some degree of equality. She met Spencer's assault, in short, by giving her best efforts towards draining not only her wife but the all-important link between Spencer and the Force.

 

[Allyson Locke]

The return force drain wasn’t something she was surprised at. It was the only way to counter one, so expected it. Though what she didn’t expect was the stomach pain that came with it, the only time she had ever felt this gut wrenching feeling was when she was on that horrid planet. Her hand rested on her stomach as she only did what she thought she could do to null the pain, but if she performed Crucitorn she would break the force drain she had on Ashin and the woman would overwhelm her. The idea was pushed aside as she focused whole heartedly on the Force drain mentally.

Her body felt as if it was being torn apart piece by piece starting at her feet, the weight of her body collapsed on itself as she fell to her knees. She didn’t stop, she continued to pull at Ashin’s mind drawing upon the woman’s aura feeding on it attempting to feed her need of the force to just survive. Her connection was what made her fragile, she knew this, Ashin knew this, and one other knew this. The longer the drain occurred, the more frantic her mind became, the shock of dying exploded through their mutual connection. Images of her fears and worries flooded to Ashin, groaning she could taste bile in the back of her throat mixed with the blood that was starting to seep into her mouth from her nose.

[member="Ashin Varanin"]

 

[Ashin Varanin]

[member="Spencer Jacobs"]

There was a line, there had to be a line, between conclusively passing the test and inflicting more emotional and physical harm on her wife than the test warranted -- or that Ashin could stand. Where that line might be, she could only guess.

Her hands shook, her stomach twisted, her thoughts grew infirm as Spencer's own Force Drain ate away at her life energy. With impaired thought came uncertainty about where that line might be. Unwilling to go too far by accident, Ashin made herself the first to stop the Force Drain, and stood as firm as she could against Spencer's desperate hunger. Standing firm didn't just mean keeping her feet, it also meant holding back her own hunger, which was every bit as desperate.

With a grunt, she drew her blaster and fire a barrage of stun rings.

 

[Allyson Locke]

Pew pew pew.

Ow.

Spencer felt the release and knew what was coming next, the hunger that was so desperate now that its source had been depleted reached out before she could regain her thought. It was too fast for her, but Ashin thinking faster fired the stun blaster in her direction. A hand moved deflecting the first shot, but the second and the third made contact and she fell back stunned. Looking up towards the sky, the storm had finally started to clear. Her mind returned to normal, but the pain lingered.

She didn’t attempt to heal herself, she just laid there. There was a curiosity about the stun gun, was the test going to end in a few shots fired. Internally she laughed, the strength they both had within the force, the fight that could end worlds was finished, by a simple stun blaster. The way things worked out made her laugh. A sigh and she coughed, still tasting the iron and the bile.

[member="Ashin Varanin"]

 

[Ashin Varanin]

[member="Spencer Jacobs"]

"Damn you, lover, for making me do this crap to you. But thank you."

She limped over to Spencer psychosomatically, shoving the blaster into its holster with what would have been unaccustomed force if she had felt stronger than a dishrag. Spencer had consumed a good portion of what made her strong, and the thing with Force Drain was, it wasn't zero-sum. X energy removed did not equate to X energy gained. Some of it, even most of it, was always siphoned off into nothingness. Anyone who claimed to be able to use Force Drain to fuel other things, with perfect or high efficiency, was either a poser or dangerous enough to kill on sight regardless of allegiance.

With another grunt of pain, Ashin slumped down beside Spencer on the torn-up grass. She gathered her strength and rolled over to stare at the sky. She looked for more words and found none.

 

[Allyson Locke]

Spencer didn’t look over, she just smiled through the pain of trying to gather up enough strength to heal her mental defenses. Ashin had proven herself time and time again at being what this galaxy needed. Lucky for her, the woman belonged to her. Taking a deep breath, she could feel everything enter and escape her body. Finally as the Force started to accept her once again and her connection with it started to flow again, her head tilted slightly towards Ashin.

“You shot me.”

She smiled and shook her head, her now amber eyes stared up towards the blue sky. Strength had regained enough for her sit up slightly. Moving closer to Ashin, she pulled the woman into a kiss, the connection between them allowed her to push her influence towards the woman offering the Force to help her regain strength. They needed enough energy to be able to make it back to the ship, though Spencer was in no hurry - it was nice out here.

There were memories here, very wonderful memories.

[member="Ashin Varanin"]

 

[Ashin Varanin]

[member="Spencer Jacobs"]

"I -- mmph-" The kiss broke as she rolled onto her back and scrutinized the clouds drowsily. "I did indeed shoot you. Seemed a sight more humane than what we'd been throwing at each other. I'm glad we're comfortable doing that sort of thing, using those kind of tactics, knowing that we don't take it personally. I'm not sure we could have done that three, four years ago." She shrugged fluidly. "Then again, maybe we could have. We've never had a really serious fight; we're surrounded by self-interested idiots, and whatever issues have cropped up between us, they always seem so petty compared to the stupid. And there is so, so much stupid."

Her eyes drifted shut.

"Did you pick this place or did I? I forget."

 

[Allyson Locke]

Spencer nodded in agreement, she laid back down and watched as the sky moved. Blinking, she tried to think of a time they actually fought, there had been disagreements mostly with how the other was feeling or that one time Spencer decided to cause a war. Everything though seemed so tiny compared to the galaxy at large, the nations that wanted to destroy each other, and the unknown terrors that lurked to consume everything. They just worked and Spencer wouldn’t have it another way. “It helps that we’re capable of seeing more than ourselves and each other. It’s something that’s rare, but its why in my opinion you were the most successful as Empress. I was lucky you found me, I’m so small compared to you…” She grinned. “And your hubris.”

Laughter escaped her lungs as she shook her head. “You picked this place, you’re fond of it remember?”

[member="Ashin Varanin"]

 

[Ashin Varanin]

[member="Spencer Jacobs"]

Ashin smiled absently. "I suppose I did, at that," she admitted. "I grew up here -- I was sixteen or seventeen when I came out here to Varunda Nine and the rest of the Jade Worlds, may they rest in peace. I didn't go back to the galaxy proper until my early twenties. Sure, I spent my childhood on New Cov, and a couple of years on Trevel'ka, but this right here...this is my homeworld. If I haven't spent much time here with you before now, apart from, you know, our wedding, I'm sorry. Has something to do with failure, maybe. This is an orbital bombardment scar we're in.

"But I think I'm just about ready to start letting go of old failures, for once."

 

[Allyson Locke]

“Failures are how we learn…and yes you need to let them go before your hair turns gray. You can’t control what happened in the past, mostly because I haven’t been able to figure out how to properly go back.” Spencer moved her lips quickly as she counted, when she had reached the number she had her body shifted and rested on her elbow. Looking at Ashin she pressed her lips together tightly as she thought. Finally after some time she spoke.

“Your twenties? You came back to the Temple, I was about 10 or 11 totally capable of being picked up as a Padawan. Were you one of the Knights that came through looking for students?” Spencer was curious if Ashin had looked her over, also if that tied into how they first met before that. Personally Spencer hoped Ashin wasn’t the sour looking woman who seemed to have been dragged through the temple. That woman gave little Spencer such a headache with her sour mood. “I guess what I’m asking is, if you saw me or my file whatever – why didn’t you pick me then?”

[member="Ashin Varanin"]

 

[Ashin Varanin]

[member="Spencer Jacobs"]

"I was," Ashin admitted, rolling onto one elbow. "I just wasn't very interested in taking a student. But one of my old teachers -- Holt Charnil, you might remember Master Charnil -- he poked and prodded me until I agreed to take an underachieving older Youngling under my wing. Temap, his name was -- Mon Calamari. He would be, oh, twenty-five now if he'd lived. My very first real Padawan, Temap was. I told you about Temap, how I lost him. Maybe you even knew him.

"So there you have it." Even talking exhausted her. "I didn't notice the twelve-year-old Spencer Jacobs because I didn't want a student, and I had another one shoved at me over the day or two I was there. It was a different time."