Private Come to the Land of the Ice and Snow

[Okkeus Dainlei]

Kyber Crystals.

His robotic hand reached out above a small patch of them, feeling their crystalline structure through the force. Unsure why, the force had sent him to Ilum once again to find another Kyber Crystal. His golden-bladed saber worked just fine. So fine, in fact, that he had it with him right now. But the force is the force, and it will guide him in the direction he needs to go.

After a few more seconds he removed his hovering hand. About an hour had passed and he still hadn't found the certain crystal he was looking for. It would probably hell if he knew what he was supposed to look for, but oh well.

Grabbing both sides of his hood he took it off, having it rest on the back of his robe. A cold breeze hit him softly, the wind coming from somewhere within the deep cave. Slowly he spun around, taking in a good look a the he caves. It had been a few years since he was last Ilum. Some of the surrounds stayed exactly the same, others not so much.

Up ahead he saw an opening to a deeper cave system. A strong call from the force could be felt inside of it. Without a second thought he continued through the opening. After a few steps in a loud rumble began behind him. Turning around, he watched as large icicles fell from the ceiling. They shattered into the ground, blocking off his path.

"Nerf!"

Hurrying over he quickly real iced that there was no way out. Not even the force could lift these giants things. Panicking a little, he reached down onto his belt to look for a comlink. Unfortunately, it was left back on Thunderstruck, which was conveniently outside of the cave. Great.

His only chance of getting out of here was a super risking move. But it was his only shot. Carefully, he sat down and reached out through the force. A telepathic message would hopefully go out to any nearby force users, but only writhing Ilums solar system. Thankfully the cave helped increase his power in the force, or he would have ever been able to send the message that far.

It would be really nice if someone got the message and helped get him out of here, becuase right now, there is more other way.

Mathieu Brion

 

[Mathieu Brion]

Come to the Land of the Ice and Snow​

It had not been an eventful journey. In fact, his trip to Ilum had been a most calm and peaceful one. Mathieu had been down in the caves for quite some time, slowly exploring it and allowing the force to guide him. The purpose was not for him to find a crystal, that he already had - it was an unbonded crystal which he found in an old temple. His path had not been a traditional one, and so, he ventured to the Ilum caves to see how it really was. Perhaps he would return someday, either in search of a crystal for himself, or perhaps with a fellow Jedi looking to craft their first lightsabre. In any case, it helped to be familiar with it.

After venturing through a few narrow passages, hard for the large Padawan to squeeze his way through, Mathieu found himself in a chamber with a central pillar leading up into the high cave ceiling. Small dripping sounds could be heard as one of the formations seemed to be connected to a small stream of water. Underneath it, laid a small pond. The water had to be clean after having been filtered from the planet's surface, through its soil and then down to the caves where he currently was. Accepting what was given to him, the Morellian want knelt down to drink from the pond. He didn't manage to consume much of it before a loud rumble could be heard.

With his thirst quenched, Mathieu quickly rose to his feet, unsure of what it was. The sound came from behind him and he started to fear the worst. And then, he got the telepathic message. Hope.

The sense of urgency was most present. The risk was that he would be trapped in there or worse - that someone was seriously hurt. Mathieu moved at a quick pace, once more squeezing his way past the narrow passages as he made his way back to where he first came from. While the crystals enhanced many capacities, their intense presence also made it more difficult to detect other force users. It was a double edged sword - but something felt oddly familiar.

"Okkeus" his tone was happy but what followed was filled with concern "You're not hurt, are you?" it was not long before the Padawan knelt down beside his friend who seemed to be seated on the ground, glancing over him and satisfied that he did not spot any blood. The last time they had seen each other, it was at a less than pleasant encounter - but Mathieu didn't forget his friends or let them go so easily. Okkeus was still an important person to him and it was good to see him again.

Looking up, it was hard not to notice that they seemed to be rather trapped. "I take it you're to blame for this?" he said, his tone mockingly harsh and with a serious face - but the facade couldn't be maintained for long and soon, Mathieu burst into laughter. He stood up and offered his friend a hand to get up "So, how do we get out of this one?"

Okkeus Dainlei

 

[Okkeus Dainlei]

This was not a voice he had expected to hear.

Mathieu's voice took him more off guard than he would like to admit. Last time they had seen each other, he was still using an outdated robotic arm to say the least.

Thinking about it, what ever happened to his old arm?

That ways besides the point. The Padawan had always said they were still on good terms after the altercation, but he was still weary that he caused some harm to the man. He knew there was nothingthathe could do to fix that past. It was his hope that stuff like that wouldn't happen in the future.

"You're not hurt, are you?"

Ah Matheiu, always the caretaker type.

"No no, I'm fine. Just a little shaken."

Grabbing the man's hand he lifted himself to his feet. The small joke that he made gave the impression that there was no hard feelings for what happened, but he made sure to be extra careful not to do anything to harm Mathieu.

"Yeah...this would be my fault. Not exactly sure how to get out of this one. I'm afraid if we use sabers it will melt more ice, trapping us in here for good."

Spinning around slowly he tried to look for another exit. The gust of wind he felt earlier must have come from somewhere. Maybe that could lead them out of here. Motioning his hand forward he began to walk in the direction of the wind.

"We might be able to find where that wind is coming from. It must be coming from somewhere on the outside. I guess while we walk, I have a quick question: what did you do with my old robotic arm?"

He was honesty curious. What could the Padawan have use for an old mechanical am? Hopefully he didn't do something weird with it, like start an arm collection. He shook the thought out of his head, almost laughing at the possibility.

Mathieu Brion

 

[Mathieu Brion]

Come to the Land of the Ice and Snow​

Just a little shaken. With a smile on his lips, Mathieu nodded, content in knowing that his mate was alright. He let out a brief chuckle as the Knight went aong with the joke. It was good to see that they could still get along, despite all of that which could have brought people apart. It made him happy - happy to know that their friendship stood stronger than differentiating loyalties.

"Good thinking" he said, looking to the massive pillars of ice which had just fallen, creating an impassable obstacle. Pointing back towards where he had come from - the same passage as the slight wind gust came from - he let out a few friendly words "I got a bit in along that way earlier. There's a small pond in there, I think the water's clean" Mathieu threw an amused glance to abdomen, remembering that he had drunk some of it himself "I hope that the water is clean."

Soon, the two started walking. For this particular path, Mathieu would take the lead, seeing as he had already walked it earlier - there was no sense in having his friend spend a bunch of effort doing what he had already done. Just as they got to a more narrow passage, forcing the broad-shouldered Morellian to walk sideways in order to get through, Okkeus asked about his old arm. Mathieu was still looking forward, away from his friend who was a bit behind him "Euhm... y'know. Things...." his awkward words ended as he paused for a few moments "I've disassembled it and reassembled it a few times. Learnt quite a bit from it. It's in the workshop now. Unless I moved it to the storage."

Eventually, they arrived by the chamber which he had been in when their path was first blocked. Gesturing to it with his hand, he let out a simple "Want to have a sip?" Mathieu stood back and started to peer into the continuation of the tunnel on the other side, There was little of interest there from his position - a consequence of the tunnels being rather dark - at least darker than the crystal filled chambers. Instead, he looked back to Okkeus "How have you been doing?"

Okkeus Dainlei

 

[Okkeus Dainlei]

Well, at least it wasn’t anything too weird with his old arm. Something still told him that Mathieu might have a collection...nevermind that.

As the duo walked through the narrow passage, he could feel the wind picking up speed a little bit. The exit must be around here somewhere. When the man showed him there was some water to drink from, he gladly kneeled down to get some. Making a bowl with both of his hands he scooped some up, drinking it.

Mathieu’s next question made him choke on the water a little bit.

“I’m doing alright. Just kinda chilling with the Imperials, fighting Sith when we get the chance.”

Honestly, he was tired, broken, confused, upset, among many other things. The Imperials didn’t feel right for him, but he didn’t have any way he could just leave.

Blood was shed with those men, you couldn’t just leave people like that. But he wondered, was the blood necessary? That was just one of the many thoughts that troubled him daily.

Shaking of it he stood back up, facing the man.

“So, how have things been going for you?”

Mathieu Brion

 

[Mathieu Brion]

Come to the Land of the Ice and Snow​

Two surprised eyebrows rose as Okkeus choked on the water. Was his question really that much of a shock? Last time they met, Okkeus had come to the Assembly with the folks from the New Jedi Order. It worried the young Morellian to hear that his friend had been 'chilling with the Imperials'. What didn't worry him as much was to hear that the Knight had also been fighting the Sith. Mathieu knew that his mate was not looking, but he nodded in soft approval anyways.

Mathieu had stayed silent for a long time, pondering on what his friend Okkeus might have been doing. It was his turn to be caught by surprise by the question on how he was doing. The broad-shouldered Padawan blinked hard "Me?" he said, almost as if just having been brought back from a daydream "Uhm, I'm doing well, now." he nodded and flashed a quick, albeit slight, smile. "It took some time, but I've mostly recovered from the pain and suffering I experienced when we fought the Sith and the Bryn."

Shaking his head, Mathieu took a step closer to his friend, putting a hand by his shoulder and looking him in the eyes "But you're not getting away that easy" he said, producing a knowing smile "People who are alright don't tend to choke upon being asked on it" he said, taking a brief pause to let his sentence sink in and to start taking a few steps towards the next narrow passageway. "So: What's up?" he asked whilst pointing an arm in the direction they were going, this time letting Okkeus take the lead.

 

[Okkeus Dainlei]

He was hoping he wouldn't have to elaborate on how he was doing.

It had become very easy for him to keep the emotions and feelings bottled up inside, where no one else could see them. On the battlefield he learned quickly that showing emotion means you are weak, and that was the last thing he wanted. So everything that has been happening to him, everything that he had been through, he didn't tell a soul. Until now.

As they began to walk, small tears started to form underneath his eyes. Wiping them away, he then spoke.

"Mathieu, man, I...I'm not doing so well, honestly. So much stuff has been happening recently, and I'm so troubled, I can't seem to find answers anywhere, I'm just..."

Well, now the tears were starting to form again. No point in stopping them now.

"I'm lost man. Any direction I seem to take, it always seems like the wrong one. It has been so long since I've talked to anyone about this, so I'm sorry I am just letting this spill out onto you."

The wind seemed to be getting stronger and stronger. Hopefully they were getting close, becuase the last thing he wanted was to crying down in this cave. At least he had someone to talk to.

Mathieu Brion

 

[Mathieu Brion]

Come to the Land of the Ice and Snow​

Soon, they were walking again, this time with Okkeus in the lead as they made their way through the narrow passages that the tunnels created. There weren't many signs of recent humanoid activity - something which he found curious, seeing as many of the caves were rather well explored. But his mind only visited the thought for a few brief moments since his main focus now was on his friend.

From behind, it was impossible to take note of the Knight's eyes getting wet. But even then, it was never easy to keep one's voice steady when tears were forming under the eyes. His brows quickly furrowed, granting his face a rather concerned expression. And what the Knight said didn't alleviate his concern. "Hey, we'll talk it out" he said - his voice almost a whisper as he tried to provide some brief comfort before his friend continued sharing what pained him.

Listening to what Okkeus had to say, it seemed like he was stuck with some pretty dark thoughts. They weren't dark in the evil Sithy sense - but they were negative in nature. It was Mathieu's duty to try to shine some light on it "Okkeus" he spoke with a low voice and waited for his friend to turn so that he could have his full attention "We've all got our paths to walk" taking a step closer, the large Padawan put a hand onto his friend's shoulder "It may be a crooked road with many sharp turns. It can be hard to walk. Occasionally, it can be treacherous with spots of darkness" he threw a knowing look to the Knight as he spoke sincerely, knowing that he had dealt with darkness before "But if we let the light guide us, if we let the moral compass we carry show us the way, I think that we'll be alright in the end." he paused for a few moments, not sure if what he said was correct or not "It has to be" he added, reaffirming that what he said was right, just as much for Okkeus as for himself.

Mathieu searched his friend, probing his face for expressions of understand. Whether they appeared or not, Mathieu wasn't too happy with what he said regardless. It was too abstract - he was speaking like some old Master from the Silver Rest, but he was not there to be Okkeus' Master - he was there to be his friend. "Heck..." he said, letting a small chuckle slip as the breeze almost turned into wind. "Just look at me. It wasn't that long ago that I was still doing Mercenary work." he was delving into something which he was not comfortable talking about. It was a part of his past which he felt bad about to this day - and even now, he was trying to atone for what he did back then. While forgiving others was easy, forgiving oneself was never easy. "I used to carry one of those big chainguns then, enough firepower to match a small army" he said, displaying a slight smirk. But it wouldn't linger as it soon turned into a shameful frown. His tone grew darker "I am not proud of a lot of the things I did... But look where I am now, right? Who would have guessed?"

Another strong gust of wind hit them, but the young Morellian ignored it for now. Instead, he flashed a smile at his friend "Y'know, when you keep trying which key fits into the lock and it's never the right one, it might be a good time to find a locksmith. But sometimes, it can be better to keep trying instead. Whether it's the second or the fifth key, we'll all get there eventually, right?"

 

[Okkeus Dainlei]

Sometimes it just felt nice to talk with a friend.

He stood mostly silent as Mathieu tried to cheer him up with the encouraging words. It was starting to work, for the most part. But he wasn't sure if he would ever heal, from any of this. Fear slowly ate away at him each day. It was what eventually led him to the dark side.

Many months ago, his old Sith master Darth Tesir kept trying to get back into his head. She would try and manipulate him, trick him, do all sorts of evil things. On that day he finally snapped, he took her life with his own saber. The saber that would eventually turn red with blood.

So hard had he worked to get rid of her, when in fact he just turned into her.

There was a faint feeling of comfort that was gained from her death. Finally, he was free from her grasp. This was quickly replaced by a grasp of his own. Soon, there was comfort in the power. The kill was satisfying to him. So that is what led him to the darkness. It still haunted him to this day.

"Thank you Mathieu, truly. I...I just feel like I'm running out of keys here. Nothing seems right for me."

Using both of his hands, he wiped away the remaining tears on his face. Slowly his breathing down, he continued.

"When I fell to the darkside, the Sith felt like my place. I soon realized that they weren't. I have never shared this with anyone, at all. But when the Silver Jedi aided the Sith at Dantooine, I was absolutely devastated. My brothers and sisters would possibly be fighting against me since they aided with a false ally. That is one of the reasons I broke off most of my ties to them."

He realized that he was talking faster and getting worked up. This was a man to man conversation he was having, and everything was fine. With another deep breath he went on.

"I fought alongside the Imperials, and eventually joined them, because they were fighting the Sith. Not becuase they were the best of people, but becuase they were attacking the true enemy. And they continued to. That is why I am still with them...but probably not for much longer. I don't like seeking combat, and it sometimes feels like it is that way with them. It scares me sometimes."

Another strong gust of wind ripped through the cave, startling him a little bit. Where was it coming from?

"I've been trying to look for a solution, but nothing has been coming to me. Meditating has not really been helping, but maybe there is an answer elsewhere."

Mathieu Brion

 

[Mathieu Brion]

Come to the Land of the Ice and Snow​

"You'll find yours, eventually" he said, having been where his friend was and having found the right key eventually, Mathieu felt confident in what he said. Both of them were still far from old and they both had plenty of time - in his eyes, there was no need for real concern just yet, even if it felt hopeless at times.

There was a brief moment of silence as Okkeus wiped the last tears away. Quietly, he then listened to the Knight speak of Dantooine. Mathieu knew that some Jedi had been there - on both sides. From his understanding, it was what triggered the rather aggressive encounter in the Assembly chambers a while back. It had been an unpleasant experience that the large Padawan would rather forget. But they were not here to argue over the past, or at least so he hoped. It was understandable that Okkeus was disappointed at those Jedi who had gone there, but then, Mathieu did not know much about what actually transpired on Dantooine. So far, he had just nodded along - until the words were said "...broke off most of my ties to them." Mathieu turned his gaze up to meet Okkeus' eyes "to us" he said with a low voice. The two of them had not spoken in a long time and the broken ties were to more than just those who had left for Dantooine.

He didn't make a big deal out of it. The correction had been made and Mathieu went quiet again, letting his friend continue to speak of how he then fought alongside Imperials. In truth, Mathieu was a little dismayed - there was much about Imperialism which he did not agree with. But he would not let it show - not because he wanted to hide his true emotions and thoughts, but rather because he wanted to be better. He could not just condemn his long-time friend for something without knowing the full truth. Without understand the bonds that Okkeus made with the Imperials - the bonds that could really only be forged in battle. An empathetic smile spread across Mathieu's lips "That key almost fit, didn't it?" he asked, hinting that it was a close match, but maybe not the perfect one.

A strong gust of wind hit the two of them as they stood in the tunnel, close to an opening "That one hit hard" he commented before returning his attention to Okkeus. "Have you considered returning to the Jedi?" he asked, looking his friend in the eyes curiously. It was only after a few moments that he added a last, but important, part to the question "It doesn't have to be our Jedi Order, you know" It was clear that Mathieu was saddened to add it - but this was not a matter of his own happiness, it was about what was right for his friend.

Okkeus Dainlei

 

[Okkeus Dainlei]

In all reality, he had thought about it.

Returning to a Jedi order was a thought that crosses his mind every single day. But up until this moment, he hadn't spoken with any other Jedi in a while. He had major trust issues from past experiences in his life. Seeing some of the Jedi aid the Sith during the massive war shook him, badly. He was sure about how long, but it would take a lot of healing to fix that wound.

But for now though, even after all the truth he had been letting out, he lied.

"No, I haven't thought about it much. Maybe it is becuase I was trying so hard to find my place with the Imperials."

He had some run-ins with the Jedi of the Galactic Alliances before this. They seemed like cool people, but then again he wasn't sure how he could just leave the Imperial Knights behind. Kneeling before Rurik Fel , he was knighted as one of their own. Leaving behind this order was like falling to the dark side.

And only force knows what he has gone through with that.

"And I know I don't have to return to the Silver Jedi. I want to mend my ties, truly, but I'm just not sure if I'm ready yet."

Some of the Silver Jedi he still had good ties with back before joining the Imperials. Beltran, Nida, Darlyn, and Caden. Though him and Caden haven't spoken in a while, even before this.

The only thing he wanted was to find his place in the galaxy. Right now, it seemed as if the task was harder than ever.

Mathieu Brion

 

[Mathieu Brion]

Come to the Land of the Ice and Snow​

The answer was not the most unexpected one he had ever heard. It was easy to fall into a pattern and just live in accordance to it. To focus on the day-to-day issues instead of the large scale ones. Mathieu produced a light shrug and let out a simple "Maybe you should" He then fell silent for a bit, considering Okkeus' position and their relation to each other. It had to be done - as a friend, Mathieu felt like it was important that he could speak his mind, even if it risked upsetting his friend - for if their relation was true, all wounds would be mended. At this point, it was more important that he could convey what was on his mind than keeping the peace "I know that few things are perfect" he said, preparing for the someone more blunt statement that was going to follow "But is the light side really calling you to serve an Imperialist cause?" It was a risky question - it attacked the premise of those whom Okkeus had worked with and bled with. But it was a necessary question if they really hoped to find what should come next and in the end, that was probably more important to the Knight than many other things.

It was good to hear that his friend wanted to mend his ties to the Silver Jedi - it put a soft smile on the broad-shouldered Padawan's lips "We're not in a rush" he said, having already realised that pressure to overcome emotions was a bad idea - not only for the Silvers but probably for Okkeus too. Of course, it was hard not to add a friendly "It would be nice to talk to you more though" as he patted his friend on the shoulder and nodding ahead. The pathway they were in was a narrow one and with Okkeus at the front, it would be hard to push on ahead from behind. They probably still had some way to go, so moving forward was probably a good idea, especially since they had just covered a rather heavy topic. Perhaps a break was in order.

Okkeus Dainlei

 

[Okkeus Dainlei]

The question really made him think for a minute.

Was the force calling him to fight for the New Imperial Order? It felt right at Dantooine, but now? The Jedi was glad Mathieu just said question. For a while now he had been avoiding the problem, which wasn't healthy at all. But at this point it was like his hands were tied. One way or another something would come back to bite him.

Maybe he should write another datapad entry once he returned to the ship. Get everything off of his chest, once and for all. It was the only thing that might actually help him decide. Well, and support from his friend, of course.

“Yeah man, it seems like each time we talk, we are trying to solve one of my issues. Anything you have on your mind?”

While he hadn't answered Mathieu's original question, this new one would give the knight time to think. Right now he was leaning towards removing himself from the Imperials, but then came the question of where he would go. Probably not the Silver Jedi, at least not right away. Maybe he could meet back up with Coren's group. Or the New Jedi Order as well.

He just needed time, but he was starting to run out of it.

Mathieu Brion

 

[Mathieu Brion]

Come to the Land of the Ice and Snow​

The Knight had chosen to not respond to his question but Mathieu could see that it had at least gotten his friend thinking about what he would answer. In the end, they were not there for him to press his mate on an answer or anything of the sort. In truth, they had just met there by accident, but even then, Mathieu had no intensions of pushing further - at least not for the moment when Okkeus was so clearly trying to steer the conversation onto another topic.

A knowing smile spread across Mathieu's lips - not only was his friend trying to steer them onto another topic, he was trying to steer it onto issues which the Padawan had himself. Come one, let's move, I'll tell you while we walk he said, waiting for Okkeus to start making his way through the narrow passage so that Mathieu could follow. "I had just overcome some major troubles that time we met in the Assembly Chambers. Nar Kreeta left quite the impression on me." he said as the narrow path started to widen until they arrived at an seemingly isolated chamber.

The young Morellian's eyes scanned the area, noting how there seemed to be no path along which they could continue their journey. Still, the gusts of wind had come from somewhere, and so, he seemed to remain unphased as he continued "I have been on many battlefields. You know - as a merc, they're kinda hard to avoid" his voice echoed, depriving them of the silence that would otherwise have been created during his pause "But those battles... It was the first time I had been on a major field of battle whilst open to the force." It was clear that the Padawan did not enjoy speaking of it as he went on, slowly walking further into the chamber.

He was still speaking, albeit with some long pauses as they explored the area. Finally, he huffed to grab his friend's attention and pointed up about three to four metres up. A wide ledge lead into a tunnel that would most likely allow them to continue their journey towards the surface. Walking over to it, Mathieu clasped his hands together at his front and nodded to Okkeus, signalling that he'd boost him. Once the Knight was up, Mathieu would continue whilst waiting to see if his friend would think of a way to help him get up or if he'd have to figure something out on his own "It was hard to live through all of that pain and agony and fear. It felt as if all the soldiers I helped command sent their suffering directly into the very core of my being"

Okkeus Dainlei