Private Closure (Kay Arenais)

[Caedyn Arenais]

The Estate of House Arenais
Munto Valley, Commenor
NPC Treasury

​

After their transport into Munto Valley it hadn't taken long for Caedyn and his Mother to make the trek into the grounds of their family estate, the second of which Caedyn had established during Commenor's becoming the Capital World of the Silver Jedi Conclave. Together they were there to spend some time in mourning and respect of Veiere Arenais, and Caedyn had formed the idea that his Father's Holocron might offer Kay some form of closure.

Their arrival hadn't gone unnoticed however, as both Ashla and Bruka came bounding across the yard towards Caedyn, barking madly in excitement as they raced to greet the pair of them. In his absence, the dogs had been fed and cared for by Chip, who despite his size compared to Bruka's own, handled the animals quite adequately and meant that Cae didn't have to worry about them while off serving the Order. From what he had witnessed, they were also the best thing about his home in the eyes of his Padawan Kyra Perl , whom had literally rode atop the back of the larger canine during their family reunion.

After settling the Dog's and giving them some much needed attention, Caedyn and his Mom would enter the Estate and head for the second floor where the personal quarters were. Retrieving the Holocron from his room, he would then lead Kay towards the living area and gesture to the comfortable couches so she could take a load off and they could talk about what to expect from the use of the Jedi artifact.

 

[NPC Treasury]

Kay didn't talk much during their return trip. She had done a lot of talking already; not to mention crying. There was only so much that she could take before she just wanted to bottle it all up again. She craved her solitude too; to hide from everyone so that she'd be less exposed during this pathetic time of her existence.

As Caedyn Arenais greeted his pets that came bounding for him, Kay kept back to give them space. She wasn't used to them, feeling almost certain that they'd turn on her. Of course that was doubtful, but the fear for it was there beneath the surface.

Kay followed Caedyn through the house, taking a seat on the couch when he gestured her to. She folded her hands on her lap in a bid to try to keep herself from fidgeting. Yet it was quite difficult. She was as nervous as anything, unsure of how she was going to react when the holocron was activated.

 

[Caedyn Arenais]

Caedyn arranged the cushions upon the floor of the living area so that he and NPC Treasury could sit comfortable and at even level with one another, while he would place the Holocron between them.

For his Mom, it was important that she have the focus and front seat for this experience while Caedyn intended on being placed to the back of the Gatekeeper once the device was activated. Before this however, he wished to encourage and guide her in how to use the artifact.

"I'm going to have you activate the Holocron" He informed her, giving his Mother a nod of confidence; "It's important that your presence in the Force is the one that initiates the process and calls the Gatekeeper to attention. In most cases it wouldn't matter so much but as this is Dad's...-It only seems right" he explained.

"Do you have any questions or concerns before we start, Mom?" he asked, his expression gentle and one of concern for her.

 

[NPC Treasury]

Kay moved to the floor once she realized that they weren't going to stay on the couch. She didn't sit on a cushion however. Instead she picked it up and hugged it to her, all the while staring at the holocron, even while Caedyn Arenais spoke.

"I have far too many questions and concerns. I took care of this thing, yes, but I never used it. They aren't exactly everyday objects and certainly it's the only one that I've ever seen in my life....I don't know how to turn it on." Kay continued to just stare at it, her brows furrowed in her nervous state. "And I...don't even know what I'd say to him..." If it was real, she'd of just hugged him and let him hold her while her emotions leaked through their bond. But that didn't exist anymore. He didn't exist anymore. And she was almost afraid of getting that closure and making it real for herself.

Yet she needed it all the same.

 

[Caedyn Arenais]

"The holocron is activated through your presence in the Force. You only need to reach out to it as though you were connecting with another person. Focus on the device and it will open itself up to you" Caedyn explained, although part of him wondering if his Mother still knew how to wield the Force for how long it had been since he had last discussed it with her, let alone seen her practice.

"As for knowing what to say to him...-You say whatever your feeling" Caedyn offered a small smile, wanting to encourage her and yet understanding the difficulty behind it all. "I had a lot to complain about when I first used it, although the Gate-keeper isn't actually Veiere, it's a startling depiction of him. It looks very real and that need to vent helped me a little...".

"There's no rush though, it's just us two here" he added gently.

NPC Treasury

 

[NPC Treasury]

So it was simple to activate it. That was good to know. It gave her a better chance at making it work. Though she wondered if there'd be some kind of lock on it preventing her from doing so.

That was just an absurd idea though. Veiere wasn't ever cruel with her. Even on his darkest days.

Her eyebrows lifted as she shifted her gaze to Caedyn Arenais when he mentioned that he had vented at the holographic depection of his Dad. "You...vented at him? How did he react?" She wasn't sure if it would just give off some bizarre reactions that would be no different than some protocol droid trying to find a file. Or if it would react with some sort of pre-programmed emotional response.

 

[Caedyn Arenais]

Caedyn shrugged a little casually, "It was a little awkward at first but the Gatekeeper doesn't show emotion" he explained, "It remembers how Dad felt in every memory that was stored, but it's not sentient. Think of it like an Artificial Intelligence".

It was a rather fortunate fact that had enabled Caedyn to move passed the loss of his father while also being able to put those old grievances that he had held against Veiere, to bed once and for all.

"I spoke about his Fall to the Darkside and how he turned his back on us all. I blamed him for a lot of what had happened, and never really let it go until it was too late to tell him in person".

Deep down in his heart, Caedyn knew that his Father understood and had never held anything against him, yet to be able to say it aloud and to have his thoughts and feelings acknowledged and justified through Veiere's memories and experiences was close enough to give him closure of his own needs.

"While the Gatekeeper isn't Veiere, it holds all of his memories and knowledge...-So in a way, it's still coming from Dad in a sense...-Through his experience".

NPC Treasury

 

[NPC Treasury]

"I don't know what'll be easier. This whole thing won't be easy....but I need to do it." She needed the closure, needed to hear his voice. The fact that she couldn't feel him might be enough to keep her from going fanatic on him. However just what was going to happen, Kay could only guess at.

Her attention turned from Caedyn Arenais to the holocron between them. Kay still clutched onto the cushion, yet focused on the Force all the same. It had been a while since she had used it, yet she had made the connection, regardless, and reached put to the holocron to activate it.

She stared and stared at it, waiting for the Gatekeeper to appear and to hear his voice once more.

 

[WolfMortum]

As NPC Treasury reached out into the Force, focusing upon the Holocron of her late Husbands, the small cube came to life with a dull blue glow, the sides repositioning into the shape of a hexagon while the top opened up in order to project the image of the Gatekeeper within the center of the room; However what should have come to life before the pair, paused and sputtered out leaving the room to go dark again.

Only the room seemed to have fallen darker than what felt natural and while the walls seemed cloaked in shadow, the floor around them appeared to be lighter, as though there were still a source of light within the room. Following the strange sight, came a presence strong in the Force and deeply familiar to the both of them, Caedyn and his Mother Kay whom would immediately recognize the presence before the figure came into view before them.

"Hello Kay..." Veiere's voice almost held an echo to it, as if his words caused a ripple throughout the environment around the pair; "It's good to see you and Caedyn together. You've not been faring so well these passed weeks, I see..." the form of the Jedi Master was translucent, his figure glowing and yet not all entirely present with them.

Veiere's attention soon turned to that of his Son and he simply gave the younger Jedi Knight a proud smile. His Son had grown immensely since the two had last looked upon one another, long before he had been struck down on Bimmisaari.

 

[NPC Treasury]

Kay looked to Caedyn Arenais as the holocron seemed to work, yet didn't. Having never been in the presence of one that was activated before, she didn't quite know what was normal and what wasn't. Wasn't she supposed to see him? Or maybe it was locked as she had suspected...

And then she felt him. His presence was unmistakeable. Kay brought up the pillow into her face to catch the flood of tears that errupted, the emptiness inside of her gone as he was there for this moment in time.

She felt whole again.

Hearing his voice drew her head back up again, to look upon the face of her better half. "...N-no, Veiere. I haven't. I'm more lost now than I've ever been. Without you, I just....I can't feel anything. I saw your death and then you were ripped from me." Kay wiped at more of her tears with the back of her hand; her pain quite evident and easily felt. "A large part of me died that day.....I don't think that I'll ever be whole again." It was cruel. The Force was cruel. Force Bonds were even worse.

Yet it was certainly punishment for all the lives stolen either directly or indirectly by her choices. It left her lost and heartbroken.

 

[WolfMortum]

"The Force will always be with you, and as such so will I be" Veiere replied.

While Caedyn Arenais sat there at a loss for words, the spirit of Veiere remained attentive to the young man's mother. This was not the way that Holocron usually worked, the Gatekeeper was an impersonal messenger and a voice without heart; where as the vision of the man before them spoke from the very soul of the former Jedi Master.

"Our bond was a gift, and while it hurts now, the pain will pass and the Force will remain. It is so much greater than you know, it transcends life as you know it and this is how I am speaking to you now" he explained, somehow seeming at peace with the things she had told him. She would not see as he did, not until it was her time but that time was not yet.

"The fighting may never cease; pain is a natural part of life" he said, a difficult fact to swallow for those among the living; "People need guidance. They need to be given a positive role-model; someone who will help encourage them to have faith and to appreciate life. Life is essential for the Force to breath. It is the essence of the Force, and the Force binds all things" Whether NPC Treasury would hear his words for what they were, or she would believe him to be telling her what she needed to hear, was not something for him to decide. There was however no denying the confidence and calm within his voice.

"You were always whole. Mourning is not easy, it takes time but you still have a great deal of that ahead of you. Don't waste it" the Force connected all living things, both physical and spiritual. Through it, Veiere knew what she had been going through. He knew what lay ahead.

 

[NPC Treasury]

For a time Kay had wanted to be cut off from the Force. There was a way to do it, yet she didn't know how. The pain, the emptiness; it couldn't be much worse than what she was already going through.

But then if she did so, she could lose Veiere completely. His spirit was safe. That much she could see and feel, so there was no need to worry about whether or not he was at peace. He truly was.

Yet Kay was not. She wasn't so sure that she ever would be.

"Veiere you are my guide. I need you. You were always there to give me advice, even in our darkest moments...The silence, the emptiness; it's almost unbearable." Out of all of the suffering that she had endured, this one felt the worst.

"I'm not wasting time...I'm making and selling tea, as some have told me to do." She glanced over to Caedyn Arenais , almost looking through Veiere as she did so. "And for the most part, I'm staying out of trouble. I'm out of everyone's way on Altiria. No one has any reasons to go looking for me." She didn't even have a ship or crew anymore, let alone the means to gain any for herself. It was like her younger years in the Senate. Public transport was all that she could afford. Only this time she wasn't trying to free slaves or build up a Republic. She just mostly kept to herself.

It was better for everyone else that way. And better for her.

 

[WolfMortum]

"Your mother has always been to hard on herself..." Veiere turned and answered Caedyn Arenais, though his Son had not spoken aloud his thoughts and wish for Kay to give herself more credit; Then turning back to look upon her with a faint smile, "I do not have long here, Kay...".

"Our Son is right in that the knowledge stored within my Holocron can offer you some further guidance but you need to learn to believe in yourself once again. To do so as I did, and as our children still do. Their love is not out of pity for you, but it comes from admiration of the person you are" NPC Treasury had lost her ability to believe in herself since the end days of the Commenor Systems Alliance, followed by the war against the Mandalorian Empire, yet it had always been Veiere's wish that she find herself again.

The potential to find her way back to the person she once felt confidence and pride for, was not lost. She just struggled to see anything beyond her mistakes, carrying a weight upon her shoulders others could not see but Veiere knew all too well. Believing that she could not offer the Galaxy anything good, feeling burned out and unable to be seen as a positive figure amongst such a clouded past.

"It does bring me some relief to know that you've been safe, but I would not wish to see you settle for less than you are. Good people make mistakes, Kay...-But you're still that good person and the Galaxy needs those with compassion, with integrity and moral character. When you are ready...-You will find your way again".

 

[NPC Treasury]

She wasn't a good example. That's why Kay was hard on herself. How could she expect anyone to follow her lead if she was unable to make the right choices?

Kay wanted to lower her head as she listened to Veiere speak of herself and needing to believe in herself. Yet instead she looked upon him, knowing that soon he would be gone again, quite possibly for good this time. He let her know that Caedyn Arenais and Lori still believed in her, yet suggested that heno longer did. Or perhaps it was because he was dead and his views didn't matter anymore. But they mattered to her. They always did.

"You're disappointed in me...But I'm not some ruler or leader anymore, Veiere. I'm not trusted, I'm not wanted. There are far better people out there than I am. What am I going to do? Run to somone's rescue in a combat zone? Public transport goes the other way. I don't have the influence or contacts like I used to. I lost it all." And probably rightfully so.

Kay sighed. "It should have been me to die instead of you. You didn't deserve it. The Galaxy needs you..." Survivour's guilt was a horrible thing, and this wasn't the first time that she had carried that burden.

 

[WolfMortum]

Veiere shook his head, a slight laugh escaping him in response to NPC Treasury 's assumption that he was disappointed in her; "I'm not disappointed in you Kay; I have only ever loved you, and wished to support you even in times where we disagreed" he spoke, soon smiling gently to her. Caedyn's Mother had always been so very hard on herself, believed the worst in herself and assumed that other people felt the same because of the perceptions she held, the believe that she was of such little value.

"People will see what you want them to see of yourself. If you have lost faith in yourself, then they will see this and lose confidence as well. On the other hand, if they see that you're walking confidently against the darker forces in this Galaxy, they will become inspired to fight and support you and what is good and just" Veiere explained to her, keeping eye contact and speaking with full conviction.

"Don't let your doubts influence your ability to work towards a better, brighter future...-Only you have the ability to shape your life, your future and the impact you have on those around you", it was that simple where Kay was concerned. If she wished to step into a larger role in the Galaxy, to left the past behind her then it was only she who could make it happen.

"People will believe what they want to believe at the end of the day. You cannot hope to please them all, but you do know the difference between right and wrong...-And you used to advocate for the principles we shared. I'm not telling you to actually fight, but I do know that as you are now you're deprived of the happiness and feelings of fulfillment that you could otherwise have if you were to find the strength in yourself to let go of the past..." his words faded, silence to follow as his gaze left her and his head lifted slightly, as though sensing something else.

"We need to say our goodbyes, Kay...-You need to let me go".

 

[Caedyn Arenais]

Caedyn had sat there mostly dumbfounded by the appearance of his Father's spirit and not the Gatekeeper which had meant to be projected from the Holocron. Instead the device had somehow been shorted out by the interference of his fathers presence in the Force, and by result leaving Caedyn Arenais speechless as his Mother and Father spoke to each other for the first time in years, even long before Veiere's death.

"I'm keeping an eye out for her and Lori, Dad" Caedyn managed the words when Veiere suggested that his time was coming to a close. Caedyn had been fine with allowing his Mom the time to talk, she needed it more than he did himself and his Dad had said something that seemed to also suggest he'd been watching somehow, so that in itself gave Caedyn some hope that Veiere knew he was sorry for their past.

"I really wish things could have been different...-I'm sorry" he added, wanting to make sure his apology was heard. It felt much more meaningful than explaining himself to a mindless program, his Father able to take the knowledge with him if that was possible. His consciousness, wherever and whatever carried them on in the afterlife, hopefully would be at peace with knowing that his Son held no more resentments.

"We all love and miss you terribly...".

 

[NPC Treasury]

This was what she missed; to have Veiere there to guide and advise her. He didn't do so just when they were married, but long before that. Given that she had lived a life in the public spotlight, she was prone to being wholely affected by what others thought about her. And she was certain that her lack of rescue was a good indication of what others thought about her.

Yet Kay understood his words. She knew what he had meant in regards to the direction that her life had taken. What was meant to be a life of simplicity and no trouble had ended up being lackluster and empty of purpose. Even though it involved her addiction for tea.

Veiere's comment about her needing to say goodbye pulled her from her thoughts immediately. She wasn't ready! It just wasn't fair! And as she was about to express as much, Caedyn Arenais spoke up. He was looking out for her. The two had grown close because of it. And it was in that moment that she came to the realization that she had her advisor sitting right there across from her. It was her son.

She wasn't alone.

"I don't want to let you go....There is so much to say, so much that I wish we had the power to change...But I know that I have to....This wasn't how I intended things to end. This wasn't what I wanted for us. I'm sorry. I tried to do right but it didn't work....As Caedyn said, you are loved and missed so much. I just wish that I could hold you one more time, to feel your touch and give you one more kiss..." If she was there to witness his death she would have done just that, to hold him as his life slipped away so that he wasn't alone. "..But such things can only happen in my dreams and that is....well, better than nothing." Kay set down her pillow, allowing herself to sit up straight as she swallowed a lump in her throat. "Goodbye my love. It has been a pleasure and honour to walk this life with you, to create the best children that any parents could ever ask for. Thank you for all that you have done for me; had done for us. I will always love you and I know that you know that already."

Her eyes moved from Veiere to Caedyn. "May the Force be with us...always." She was ready to to let Veiere go, yet she wanted to be sure that both Caedyn and Veiere had said what they needed to before she did.

For the first time since the Siege of Commenor she had felt a little at peace with herself. And it brought her a flicker of hope.

 

[WolfMortum]

​

"No one holds the power of controlling which way their paths turn, Kay" Veiere said with a smile, seemingly finding the notion to be briefly amusing, although only now given the foresight to better understand the course of life and that which the Force willed for all; "Grow from your experiences, don't be held back by dwelling on your regrets. What is done, is done. It's time to look ahead" he spoke to her, keeping eye contact and smiling warmly all the while.

"Oh and one thing before I go...-Caedyn" Veiere turned back to look upon their Son, his expression one of concern; "The path you're walking is a dangerous one, if you choose not to give heed to the risks and the consequences of your behavior, Son. Darth Prazutis is not to be underestimated, his power in the Force is unlike anything you have experienced before and he is an exceptional combatant despite being enslaved in darkness..." his words sounded as though Veiere was advising his Son, more so than instructing him not to pursue the course of vengeance.

The truth of the matter, was that Caedyn had his own path to walk and nothing would deter the boy from making his own decisions. "In any case, give my love to your Sister..." Veiere gave one last request to the young Knight before looking back to NPC Treasury .

"I know you have questions, but it is not my place to answer them. My being here defies the natural cycle of the Living and the Nether; I did so because you need to accept that this is the way things are meant to be. As a Jedi, I lived, served and earned my peace" his hands moved to lace at the fingers in front of him as he stood before the two, a slight lift of his head and a look of contentment about him.

"Celebrate our time together...-Do not allow it to become the thing that weighs you down, my love" Veiere concluded, and slowly his presence began to fade, "May the Force be with you both, as is my love and pride" he finally spoke before the apparition had all but vanished, leaving Kay and Caedyn Arenais alone together to process what they'd just witnessed.

 

[NPC Treasury]

Kay held onto every moment that Veiere looked into her eyes and onto every smile. Even in death his persona remained the same and she was able to pretend that all was well; that the turmoil that the family had suffered in these last few years didn't happen at all.

It was a good feeling to not be so burdened, neither by events or emotions. Maybe that's the peace that Veiere felt and through their bond it was seeping to her. However it can be explained, it was the best that Kay had ever felt since the Siege of Commenor.

That is until Veiere turned his attention to Caedyn Arenais . His warning brought a chill down her spine as her body stiffened. Was her son planning on avenging his Father? Kay didn't like that idea at all. Praz had taken enough from her already. She didn't need her son to be taken too.

Veiere seemed to sense it as he once again turned to her, stopping her from asking anything more. She gave him a warm and appreciative smile, bowing her head in a silent thanks. "Goodbye...."

Tears continued to flow down her cheeks as she just sat there staring at the spot where Veiere once stood. Kay took that moment to compose herself before getting to her feet and approaching her son. She knelt down next to him and then wrapped her arms around him tightly. "Thank you, Caedyn....thank you for making me do this." It wasn't as though he 'made' her do it, but she knew that without him, she'd never gone through with it. She wouldn't of had the courage to do so. Fear, guilt and remorse would have stopped her.

It was the closure that she needed. Outside of one more thing. But that would come soon. She just had to plan it right.

 

[Caedyn Arenais]

"Thank you, Caedyn....
-thank you for making me do this."
​

Caedyn sat there, now with his Mom kneeling down beside him, a little lost in reeling over what had just happened. As a Jedi and a Je'daii before that, he had witnessed a number of events surrounding apparitions in the Force as well as the knowledge of his former Mentor being able to practice flow walking, seeing the past play out before her...-But he had never expected his Father to return as an apparition himself. A spirit reconnecting with the living world through the bonds they shared in the Force itself, it was extremely rare.

"To be honest, I didn't expect things to play out this way at all..." He said quietly, giving a soft chuckle in his own sheepish sense of amazement. Reaching out towards the Holocron, Caedyn extended his fingers and through the Force recalled the artifact into his hand, looking it over as though seeing it in a new light; "The last thing I expected was to actually see Dad..." He gave a small smile, turning to meet his Mother's gaze with a pleased look about him.

"It sounds like he's been watching out for us a fair bit huh" Caedyn voiced in thought, sharing what he had taken from Veiere's previous comments and how much he seemed to be able to gather without them even sharing their history since his loss. "I always believed that in some shape or form, that he would be here with us...-But hearing it being confirmed is something else entirely" he smirked, his eyes threatening to tear up as the emotion of the experience seemed to be catching up with him; Naturally he swallowed his feelings back, and buried them for the sake of appearing composed.

NPC Treasury