Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

Approved Lore Clan Pax

Status
Not open for further replies.
OUT OF CHARACTER INFORMATION
rbqkVJe.jpg

GENERAL INFORMATION
  • Organization Name: Clan Pax
  • Classification: Mandolorian Clan
  • Affiliation: Cero Pax, Clan Members, Kon'Me
  • Description: Clan Pax is a group of solitary Mandolorian mercenaries, who train in the use of the Force as well of in traditional combat. They specialize in close quarters combat as well as urban and guerilla warfare.
  • Organization Symbol: See image, at top.
GEOGRAPHICAL INFORMATION
  • Headquarters: Vel's Solitude, Bal'demnic, Auril Sector
  • Domain: The clan co-exists with the native Kon'me of the planet in a symbiotic relationship. Clan members often act as security for the shipments of goods the world exports, while also warding off potential pirate raids and attacks. In return, the Kon'me finance the clan in the form of raw materials, currency, or stakes in businesses.
  • Notable Assets:
  • Kon'meas Spaceport(The clan acquired rights to the port and a fraction of its taxes after warding off a particularly vicious group of pirates. Per the contract, Clan Pax provides security for the port, through both clan members and affiliate hiring. They also provide administration, in the form of inventory, both import and export, oversight. The tax percentage that the clan claims from the port is 15%. The Kon'me benefit from this arrangement in not only reduced personal costs gained from fielding security units, but also gaining a permanent elite paramilitary force to protect the planet and it's interests.)
  • Cortosis Reserves(The clan is also provided a percentage total of the ore mined from the planet's lucrative cortosis mines, taking a total 15% share from it. They forgo any profits from the trade of the material, in exchange for the resource itself. They store this within the clan stronghold, for use in crafting and forging.)
SOCIAL INFORMATION
  • Hierarchy: Clan Pax is lead by an Alor, who is always a direct descendant of Vel Pax,. Under the Alor, Alor'ad, their second in command. Children, between the ages 5 and 13, are known as Initiates, after which they become full members. Every member of the clan holds the same social level, with reputation and experience deciding the level of respect offered.
  • Membership: Membership in the clan is gained by endorsement from a current clan member. This can come in the form of personal referral, adoption, or marriage. Due to the emphasis that is placed on trust, admittance in any of these ways is difficult. The clan currently numbers at around 100 total members, while it keeps a number of non-member affiliates through contract.
  • Climate: Clan Pax operates in tight-knit family units, which come together to form the clan as a whole. Trust and honor are its greatest tenants, and the breaking of either is heavily punished. Because of this, members of the clan take what other members say at face value.
  • Reputation: Though not being infamous on a galactic scale, the clan does have a reputation among the circles of the Outer Rim. They are known as being dependable, upholding the terms of their contracts to the letter. In relation to other Mandolorians, the clan fully respects the six tenants, the Resol'nare, though they opt to keep to themselves. Their exile is self-imposed, due to not agreeing with the restrictions of Force-sensitivity within Mandolorian space.
  • Curios: Members have necklaces forged from beskar in the shape of the clan's sigil, which they receive upon the age of 13.
  • Rules: The clan are adherents of the Resol'nare, though also possess their own sets of codes and tenants. 1. Never betray the trust of the Clan. 2. Always honor your word. 3. Never shoot an unarmed man. 4. The Force is a tool. Never become a slave to it.
  • Goals: The clan is a divergence from some beliefs imposed by the Mando'ade, chief among them the use of the Force. It trains it's members to understand and apply it as a tool, like any other.
MEMBERS
Vel Pax[Ancestor]
Elise Pax[NPC]
Norris Pax[Alor]
Oryn Pax[NPC]
Cero Pax
Jun Cloudbreaker[NPC]
Nomi Cloudbreaker[Alor'ad]

HISTORICAL INFORMATION
Clan Pax has existed since the times of the Old Republic, having member that have participated in many of the conflicts that arose since the era. During the Clone Wars, they were among the clans who opposed the New Mandolorian government, and who were banished to Concordia. About 300 years ago, Vel Pax, a Force-sensitive member, was in disagreement with the views of the Force among the Mandolorians. He attempted to convince others that the Force was simply a tool to be used, as well as any knife or blaster, though few listened. Firm in his beliefs yet respectful of the Mando'ade, he and several others self-exiled themselves from mainstream Mando'a society.

Their journey found them on the world of Bal'demnic. It was here that after coming to arrangement with the natives of the planet, they constructed the fortress that'd come to be known as Vel's Solitude. It was here that Vel and the others would train themselves and their descendants not only in the Resol'nare, but also in their own brand of application and use of the Force.
 
[member="Cero Pax"]

It's great to see a sub for your Mandalorian Clan and there's a lot of really good information here. I have just a few points that I think will help to clarify this submission before we move it along.

#1. Image Credit. If you made the image, please just tag yourself here. The Imgur link goes to a series of images, not all of which are yours originally, I'm assuming.

Cero Pax said:
GENERAL INFORMATION
  • Organization Name: Clan Pax
  • Classification: Mandolorian Clan
  • Affiliation: Cero Pax, Clan Members, Kon'Me
  • Description: Clan Pax is a group of solitary Mandolorian mercenaries, who train in the use of the Force as well of in traditional combat. They specialize in close quarters combat as well as urban and guerilla warfare.
#2. Missing Template Field. If you'll refer to the quoted text, above, as well as our organization template, you'll see that you are missing the field for Organization Symbol. Please add that in the appropriate spot and then either describe the symbol, the meaning behind the symbol, or else just say "See image, at top".

#3. Relevant Links. You reference Bal'demnic and the Kon'me several times throughout the submission, as well as Kon'meas Spaceport. Please add links for those, either at the top in the Links section or elsewhere in the submission.

Cero Pax said:
  • Notable Assets: Kon'meas Spaceport(The clan acquired rights to the port and it's taxes after warding off a particularly vicious group of pirates. The port was demanded as compensation, with the agreement that while they owned it, the clan would only take a fraction of the total taxes gained.) , Large Cortosis Reserves(Part of the compensation agreement, the clan has access to the cortosis mines of the planet.)
#4. This one is just is a suggestion. On the Kon'meas Spaceport, what obligations does this asset put on the Clan? Does Clan Pax provide security for the spaceport? Does Clan Pax provide for the administration or maintenance of the spaceport? It strikes me that having ownership of a major planetary spaceport would be a rather sizeable investment for the Clan. I think some more detail here might help your reader to understand the symbiotic relationship between the Kon'me and Clan Pax.

In the same vein (no pun intended): Does the Cortosis agreement give the Clan access to all or only some of the Cortosis on the planet? How is it determined what Cortosis deposits are available for use by the Kon'me or for export, as opposed for use by Clan Pax?

Cero Pax said:
  • Membership: Membership in the clan can be as easily earned as by getting an endorsement by a current member. But this in itself is a difficult thing to obtain, due to the emphasis that is place on trust within it. Besides endorsement, membership can also be gained by marriage, adoption, steady affiliation, each one just as difficult to come-by. It is composed of around 100 full-time members, which includes families and affiliates.
#5. Another suggestion, but I think that the underlined text is a little unclear on this part: Is membership easily earned or difficult to obtain? One suggestion would be to simply remove the word 'easily' from the first sentence. In the second part of the above, you refer to '100 full-time members'. What constitutes part-time membership in the Clan?

I look forward to your reply. Please tag me when you've had a chance to complete your edits.
 
Edits made, for your convience:
  • Elaborated on Clan Pax's assets, as suggested, and their relation with the Kon'me.
  • Cleared up and better explained the membership requisites of the clan, as well as the number of members, as suggested.
  • Changed image link to simple, Self-Made, as suggested
  • Linked Bal'demnic, Kon'me, and Kon'meas Spaceport, as suggested.
  • Added in missing template field,
[member="Zardu Hasselfrau"]
 
Greetings [member="Cero Pax"]!

It's always nice to see a little more Lore appear for Mandalorian Clans. I like that it takes place on a world not too many people use. Nice work!

There's just one thing to fix before I can stamp it.

Image Credit - [member="Zardu Hasselfrau"] is correct in stating that you can list an image credit as "Self-Made" if the content is of your own design, however, this collection images used to make your Clan Sigil/Symbol is actually a compilation from a Guild Wars emblem generator. Please use this link to reflect that.

I will note that although you've expressed the Clan has been given certain "rights" by the Kon'me in regards to the spaceport - This will not/can not stop other players from stating the same thing.

Otherwise, once the Image Credit is fixed, you're all set.

Please tag me when it's updated. Thank you!
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Users who are viewing this thread

Top Bottom