Feedback Character & Writer Feedback

[Quinn Varanin]

So I typically don't enjoy these kinds of threads. But with the effort that I've been putting into compiling and going through Quinn's development, it made me curious. I really like hearing feedback and improving and meeting new people through writing. I did recently see Briana Sal-Soren 's critique and I enjoyed the format, so upon asking -- I STOLE IT, SUCH THEIVERY.

I am exposing myself to your judgement, be nice and constructive please! I have linked Quinn's Bio Here, I know she's a bit of a hard read at times, because of her code switching and being a chameleon to her surroundings. Hopefully, the bio helps explain that!

Anyways thank you for your time!

Some questions/feedback for the Character:

1. Does Quinn's choices/narrative feel consistent across threads?

2. Does Quinn leave room for other characters to act and respond?

3. Does Quinn feel too powerful, too passive, or well balanced (in the force / personality) ?

4. When you have read Quinn, does she come across as predictable or surprising?

5. What kind of arc would you like to see Quinn have next?

6. If you've written or read Quinn, what is a moment you've enjoyed the most? the least?

Questions for the writer:

1. Do my posts flow smoothly, or do they feel choppy or dense?

2. Is my dialogue natural and distinct, or do I need to try and better distinguish different voices?

3. Do I rely on certain words, phrases, or sentence structures too often?

4. Does my writing convey subtext effectively, or feel too on the nose?

5. Am I easy to collaborate with?


Thank you again to Amz!

 

[Connel Vanagor]

Some questions/feedback for the Character:

1. Does Quinn's choices/narrative feel consistent across threads? I think so. There is good direction and building on the past.

2. Does Quinn leave room for other characters to act and respond? More often than not, Quinn owns the room! Yes, though, she does.

3. Does Quinn feel too powerful, too passive, or well balanced (in the force / personality) ? Haven't read much on her in regards to the Force, but personality? She's got a bit of "curious rebellion" in her, sort of like Jasmine from. "Aladdin"

4. When you have read Quinn, does she come across as predictable or surprising? Fairly predictable, but that is not a slight.

5. What kind of arc would you like to see Quinn have next? Remember that image you made of her as a brunette with glasses? Clone her, have the clone live in the Republic and live vicariously xD

6. If you've written or read Quinn, what is a moment you've enjoyed the most? the least? Can't really say, must read more

Questions for the writer:

1. Do my posts flow smoothly, or do they feel choppy or dense? Always easy to follow. Maybe a little "rich" sometimes in text, but that is not a bad thing.

2. Is my dialogue natural and distinct, or do I need to try and better distinguish different voices? Very distinct

3. Do I rely on certain words, phrases, or sentence structures too often? From a guy who used "Massive Jedi Master" a LOT... I can't answer this.

4. Does my writing convey subtext effectively, or feel too on the nose? What do you mean by that? ( )

5. Am I easy to collaborate with? No because we don't collaborate enough! (never had a problem)

 

[Adelle Bastiel]

Some questions/feedback for the Character:

1. Does Quinn's choices/narrative feel consistent across threads?
Having read many of them, yes. As far as I've read, she's a young woman that's inherited a lot of expectations and responsibilities, and wants to prove that she's capable/worthy but because of her heritage and connections, doing so is incredibly difficult for her to rationalize what her accomplishments are versus what she's inherited. And trying to balance that with just . . . wanting to be a person.

2. Does Quinn leave room for other characters to act and respond?
Yes. She acts/reacts but doesn't take over the thread.

3. Does Quinn feel too powerful, too passive, or well balanced (in the force / personality) ?
Well-balanced, imo. Force-wise, yes, she's a powerhouse but her personality and the constraints around her being able to tap into that power balance it out.

4. When you have read Quinn, does she come across as predictable or surprising?
Consistent, which wasn't one of the options. Her choices make sense and follow a rationale without seeming like everything is scripted.

5. What kind of arc would you like to see Quinn have next?
Not sure, I'm just happy to stalk read threads. It'll be interesting to see what happens when all these titles start conflicting.

6. If you've written or read Quinn, what is a moment you've enjoyed the most? the least?
The most? I'm a sucker for emotional pain so when she thought she lost Srina during the Invasion. Least? Idk

Questions for the writer:

1. Do my posts flow smoothly, or do they feel choppy or dense?

They flow well.

2. Is my dialogue natural and distinct, or do I need to try and better distinguish different voices?
Dialogue seems natural, given the character's history and education.

3. Do I rely on certain words, phrases, or sentence structures too often?
Not that I can tell.

4. Does my writing convey subtext effectively, or feel too on the nose?
My brain is blanking on this one and I can't remember. Sorry. T_T

5. Am I easy to collaborate with?
I've only written with you in two threads so... yes? I'm a socially anxious creature and I feel like I can talk to you about things in posts without too much anxiety.

 

[Kitter Bitters]

1. Does Quinn's choices/narrative feel consistent across threads?
yes. I have been reading her stuff and I do enjoy it and feel as if it's going in an understandable direction.

2. Does Quinn leave room for other characters to act and respond?
Yes

3. Does Quinn feel too powerful, too passive, or well balanced (in the force / personality) ?
She feels very powerful but in a way that is earned and makes sense

4. When you have read Quinn, does she come across as predictable or surprising?
Sometimes I did not see things coming, which honestly was nice.

5. What kind of arc would you like to see Quinn have next?
I'm not sure to be honest.

6. If you've written or read Quinn, what is a moment you've enjoyed the most? the least?
I've enjoyed reading about her failed romances and how they influenced her. Its not often to see someone let their character get shot down.



Questions for the writer:
1. Do my posts flow smoothly, or do they feel choppy or dense?
Smoothly

2. Is my dialogue natural and distinct, or do I need to try and better distinguish different voices?
I think its great

3. Do I rely on certain words, phrases, or sentence structures too often?
No

4. Does my writing convey subtext effectively, or feel too on the nose?
I think its clear and has subtext but it doesn't overly rely on it. I actually like this.

5. Am I easy to collaborate with?
Yes! I would actually love to rp with you

Keep up the good work!

 

[Valiens Nantaris]

Quinn Varanin

I'm going to be brutally, devastatingly honest here. I understand that this critique might be painful but it comes from a place of wanting to help you improve.

See below for my in depth thoughts.

Spoiler

You're cool.

 

[WelshPsych]

Some questions/feedback for the Character:

1. Does Quinn's choices/narrative feel consistent across threads?

It does, there is also a steady progression and her reaction to situations is always something I am glad to see.

2. Does Quinn leave room for other characters to act and respond?

Definitely, I never feel like I am struggling to figure out how to respond to Quinn and how to ensure that I get that expression across.

3. Does Quinn feel too powerful, too passive, or well balanced (in the force / personality) ?

I think there are times where she displays her power very well, but other times, she also doesn't come across as powerfully. However, I also know that there are some narrative decisions for that and therefore, it isn't that irks me. Maybe we could see more of the powerful presence of Quinn (both Force and personality), now that she is a Dark Councillor and the Queen of Eshan.

4. When you have read Quinn, does she come across as predictable or surprising?

I wouldn't say predictable. Maybe more logical and appropriate, her reactions fit for what she is reacting to.

5. What kind of arc would you like to see Quinn have next?

That I am not sure on. I am terrible of figuring out character arcs. Maybe Quinn finding some stability, flexing her powers. But also could have her explore more the phobis device that powers her. Is that something she wants to continue or does she find ways to free herself of that influence, and what happens after that?

6. If you've written or read Quinn, what is a moment you've enjoyed the most? the least?

I think it is from a reading aspect, but the romance drama is always a lot of fun. Perhaps because I am a sucker for romance drama, a new-found guilty pleasure. But it has been fun to see Quinn handle the people interested in her and the intanglements that form.

I am not sure there is a least favourite. Perhaps instead of least, I think her weakest connections has felt like it is Eira. Even though that is meant to be a strong bond? Just feels less developed than the relationships with other characters.

But that could also be a bias of mine since I write Eira and want to write more of it.

Questions for the writer:

1. Do my posts flow smoothly, or do they feel choppy or dense?

All your posts flow smoothly, you respond to your surroundings well and nothing feels dense or unnecessary.

2. Is my dialogue natural and distinct, or do I need to try and better distinguish different voices?

I think Quinn sounds different to Allyson, Kito, Viers and others you write. There are probably ways they speak or act that link them as very much your characters, but that is not a bad thing in my opinion.

3. Do I rely on certain words, phrases, or sentence structures too often?

I don't think so. I also think that having words, phrases and sentence structures that are you coded can be a good thing. Makes it feel less like a robot is talking. And all your characters feel very human so I wouldn't change the way your write.

4. Does my writing convey subtext effectively, or feel too on the nose?

It's like D&D, people are dumb sometimes. You have to be very on the nose for them to get it, or they will go chasing the wrong rabbit holes. Sometimes you don't have to.

I don't think you can be too on the nose with subtext really.

5. Am I easy to collaborate with?

This is probably where I say yes and no. Yes, you are always available to chat, talk out ideas and help flesh things out that ensures that I have a fantastic understanding of what your character is thinking, where we can take things and what to prep for.

On the other hand, it is tough to get a thread started, sometimes harder to have a thread finished. Whether that be for a number of reasons that aren't your fault. It can just be tough but also make it feel like you aren't keen to write with me.

But I wouldn't know how to solve it because life is tough and things happen that can detract from stories we plan to do together.

 

[Renn Vizsla]