Chaosys

[Eddie]

Name: Chaosys

Region: Unknown Regions
System: Dranok System
Suns: 1 (Yellow Star, often called Raa'kan)
Orbital Position: 3rd out of 5, the other 4 planets are uninhabitable due to the climates being too different
Moons: 1 Naturally occuring moon named Fujuu
Coordinates: Beyond Thexoll, at the top of the galaxy's unknown regions
Rotational Period: 32 hours
Orbital Period: 365 days

Class: Terrestrial
Diameter: 13,756 km
Atmosphere: Type 1
Climate: Temperate
Gravity: Standard
Primary Terrain: Forests surrounding cities

Native species: Humans (Ruffians)
Immigrated species: Humans (All other variants of the galaxy's human population), Twi'leks, various explorers of certain races I can't be bothered to name as they come and go often
Primary languages: Basic with an old English accent
Government: This is always fought over, but it was always a Monarchy
Population: 5.5 billion
Demonym: Ruffians
Major cities: Fujuu (named after the moon), Raa'kaan (named after the sun, The Golden City), Taung'Nakaa (Named in respect for the Taung of Coruscant once they became extinct, Most of the planet's warriors are from here), Altara (a city that sank to the bottom of the sea centuries ago)
Major imports: Weapons, mercenaries and food
Major exports: Tourism and mercenaries
Affiliation: None so far

Culture: This is rather unknown, as the culture is mostly not shown to outsiders, however the culture that is known varies depending on the city you are in.
Technology: A combination of medieval era tech and Galactic Standard tech
History:
Notable PC's: Cathius Yesac

Intent: To make a planet that is always filled with fighting and a possible home planet for a variant of Humans

 

[Nikolas Faselli]

[member="Arben Ziegler"]

At first, I started looking at your planet and I noticed how many invalid things were in it. I thought I would still work with you to make it approvable, but then I noticed your intent. I am sorry to say that, but we have a thing here that we don't appreciate planets which are always filled with fighting. The combination of the concept and a considerable amount of problems with this submission leaves me to make but one choice.

Thus, the submission has been denied.

You may ask for a second chance, but I would advise you to let go of the 'always fighting' and giving a lot more information before doing that. Otherwise, here are the problems with the submission:

Spoiler

Let's get started...

First of all, I'm declaring this submission a Work in Progress as there is no History. Please don't post WIPs in the Factory. It's made for completed submissions.

Please add more to Primary Terrain. Having a temperate climate means that the planet is like Earth, thus, has various kinds of terrain.

Native species. Please remove the '(Ruffians)' as it's not needed.

Immigrated species. Please remove the 'Humans (All other variants of the galaxy's human population)' as it's not needed either, also 'various explorers of certain races I can't be bothered to name as they come and go often' is an invalid phrase. Please change it to "various others" or something along these lines.

Government. What do you mean with "but it was always a Monarchy"? Do you mean to say it has been a monarchy or that it is always a monarchy? Please elaborate on that.

Please remove mercenaries from both Major Imports and Major Exports.

Please change affiliation to 'Independent' as it is our standard used when it is not with any faction.

Now the most important parts. There has to be culture. It doesn't matter that it's kept in secret and that every city has its own culture. Culture is one of the part of a planet submission, which basically decides whether the submission is approved or denied, please keep that in mind. Please add culture.

Please describe how does the middle age tech go along with the Galactic Standard Tech.

And finally, add History.