With everything
Mia Monroe
said, Elise felt years of wisdom. Suddenly, Elise saw not the former Mand'Alor who led her people into ruin, but the true Mand'Alor before that. Mand'Alor the Liberator, who had freed her people and served them well. But the words, they had a tendency to sting. Being told not to ignore her Force Sense, Elise saw
Darth Malum of House Marr
in her mind, and everything leading up to finding out his identity. The heartbreak burned, and she knew for a fact how right Mia Ordo was. She narrowed her eyes, grimacing at all her short comings.
If a leader was only as good as their followers, what kind of rotted imbecile would
Elise be to the great
Ijaat Mereel
?
But that was when Mia left. She left, leaving her invitation for the taking.
"I'm her to recruit you, though I'm not entirely sure you're worth it."
The real sting of the insult, however, was that it wasn't wrong. Elise once again found that she not only distrusted others, but distrusted
herself.
Her half smashed basket of fruit was no longer edible. Elise turned the return to her own home. She... needed to think...
After a morning prayer to the Ancient Ones, Elise Vizsla got right down to business.
She walked across her chamber, into the refresher. Taking a quick shower, she washed her shamanic paint off and freshened up. She dried off, slipping into her beskar'gam. As she adorned herself in her armor, her second skin, she let out a sigh. She clipped on her vambraces, coiled her medallion chains around her waist, and wrapped a shawl-like kama around her shoulders. She walked over to the buy'ce, gazing down on it with confliction and doubt.
She had always been a prodigy. It seemed that by mere instinct, by natural talent, she breezed through training. She soaked up written information like a sponge, was so quick to learn new combat techniques and weapons, and was graced with a strong connection to the Force. But where had all that talent and potential landed her? Betraying her family. Betraying her second home. Accidentally saving a Sith Lord - even falling for him. She was a Dreamseer, yet blind to what those dreams meant. So many times, her supposed talent only turned into a curse. It laughed at her, mocked her. It jeered that she was a savant who still failed at every capacity.
And yet, she remembered a conversation she had with her shaman mentor, the esteemed
Siyarr Ahan-Mitharran
, shortly after she defected from the Enclave.
"As you and I both know that second-guessing is death for a Mandalorian. Always has been so, always shall be so.... And if not you, I guarantee you now that someone else would have been perceived as a traitor in your place"
If not Elise, someone else would have been in her place.
Elise had her gifts, and her curses. So many times, she had failed. And yet, her stubbornness and naive optimism remained still.
"If I'm a failed prodigy, then I'll be the best karking failure this galaxy has seen."
She stood before the holorecorder, straightening her position. She reached out, pressed it, and held record.
<"Teacher, Siyarr Ahan-Mitharran,">
She cleared her throat, speaking in a concise tone.
<"I'm leaving again, who knows how long this time. After so long, a party of Mandalorians is moving to restore our Mandalore. You know fully well, how sacred worlds are to us. Us Shamans have Archais, Ilum; and my Mando'ade have Mandalore. So, I'm going to see if I can help them.">
She looked away for a second, doubt flashing in her eyes, then returned her gaze to the recorder.
<"There's someone claiming to be Mand'alor. And yes, I know, we have a lot of bad histories with Mand'Alors, but I... I want to believe this one will be better. I want to believe there's still good people in the galaxy. So... I'll meet him, and see for myself.">
She teared up, sentimental. She knew fully well that she would be gone longer than last time. She always felt like a piece of herself stayed behind, at Archais, when she left. And for all the times that the galaxy turned its back on her, the Shaman Coven never had.
<"Did I... ever tell you how much you mean to me? Your teaching, your support. You were always there, even when no one else was. I keep doubting myself, but you kept on believing in me. It means the galaxy to me. My father died when I was young, but when I came under your tutelage, you filled the void he left. So...">
She smiled.
<"Thank you. For everything. I can't promise that I won't kark up again this time, but I'll do my best. It's what you taught me to do, master. So watch me! Watch me be the trailblazer you trained me to be! And I won't even accidentally save any Sith in the process this time. So... this is... this is so long...">
She offered a proper shaman bow, then, she stopped the recording.
She wiped away her tears, pulling her buy'ce over her head. She had thought for so long when choosing to defect, and she doubted herself when she finally
did defect. She had avoided her giftings, avoided her calling, too long in that sea of doubt. Doubt was death to a Mandalorian. And Mia Monroe's words of insult, they became inspiration. She was not going to fail as a Mandalorian again.
She scooped her luggage up, throwing it over her back, and turned to leave her chambers. She was meeting Mia at her ship, and from there meeting Ijaat Mereel himself.
Elise was many things, but tardiness was never one of them.
Punctual to the enth degree, she arrived to the port early in the morning. Not a couple of days after their conversation, but a mere singular day after they spoke. With a determined, serious expression on her face, she followed the Force Signature of the old Mand'Alor to where she was. Her ship.
Standing several feet from the ship, she looked around for the ex-Ordo. She was ready.