Approved Tech Bryn'adûl | Draemidus Prime Ore

[Tathra Khaeus]

OUT OF CHARACTER INFORMATION

• Intent: Creating an ore to be utilised in roleplay and weaponry.
• Image Source: X
• Permissions: N/A
• Primary Source: N/A

PRODUCTION INFORMATION

• Name: Edemarian Ore
• Manufacturer: The Bryn'adûl
• Affiliation: The Bryn'adûl
• Production: Minor
• Modularity: N/A
• Material: Naturally occurring crystallised explosive ore

PHYSICAL SPECIFICATIONS

• Classification: Crystallised Explosive Ore
• Weight: Heavy
• Colour: Red, Black
• Resistances:
  Blasters: High
  Kinetic: Average
  Lightsabers: High
  Other: Average

SPECIAL FEATURES

• Explosive: This is a highly explosive material that can be mined into refined shards/needle like spears to be utilised in weaponry.

Strengths:

• Weaponised: Draemidus Prime's Ore can be weaponised in a similar method to the majority of their arsenal's ammunition types. This is typically the process of refining the crystal into projectile like spikes/needles. This ammunition type can be categorised as a form of hand-held ordinance as the bullets typically penetrate armour, but not deeply enough to typically wound someone. However, the strength of this Ore's use is the ability to generate compact-explosions from shooting multiple of these bullets in a small area. When in close proximity of one and other, the vapour surrounding the individual bullets interact and activate the volatile chemicals within that cause hundreds of micro-explosions that compound on one and other into a lethal explosion.
• Refraction: Due to their crystal-like nature, the shards easily refract energy.

Weaknesses:

• Exposure: Prolonged exposure to the gaseous vapours of uncontained Draemidus Crystals can lead to the inhalation of micro-shards of the crystals and tear through vital organs over time.
• Volatile: The Crystals need to be carefully stored, and in large quantities can explode simply through contact due to their nature to super-combine.
• Low-Penetration: Individual Shards typically have low penetration rates.

DESCRIPTION:
The Draemidus Crystals were discovered deep within the planet crust when the Bryn'adûl had reorganised their defences to move underground. The Crystals use have been long under observation as shortly after the slaughter on Eshan, the Aeravalin Researches had a breakthrough promising the Chieftain a new source for powerful weapons.

 

[Gir Quee]

Approved.

 

[Tathra Khaeus]

Runi Verin ready for live judging.

Changes;
Reformatted/Updated Template

 

[Runi Verin]

Tathra Khaeus

Your strength:

When used as ammunition, Draemidus Crystals are capable of two types of damage to a target. Penetration damage is caused by the needles impacting flesh and entering it; and the usually-resulting super-combine. This happens due to a small vapour surrounding individual pieces of the Crystal, and when these vapours interact in high volume, it activates the chemicals within the crystals that cause hundreds of micro-explosions to 'super-combine'. The combined explosion of multiple needles wedged in the body. A crystalline projectile can cause fatal damage to its victim, a single shard causing internal bleeding or can strike a vital organ, with untreated wounds resulting in death. The resulting detonation of the shard upon penetration also spreads micro-shrapnel throughout the victim. Depending on the impact area and angle, several crystalline shards can cause amputation of limbs, and impacts to the chest are in most cases fatal; the supercombine properties can easily crack ribs, damage the lungs or heart, and cause severe flesh damage that can be very difficult and often impossible to repair. If enough rounds impact and detonate simultaneously, the unfortunate target can quite literally be blown apart.

vs

Halopedia's entry on Blamite

Blamite is one of the few unique ammunition types in Covenant arsenal. When used as ammunition, blamite is capable of two types of damage to a target; penetration, damage caused by the needles impacting flesh and entering it; and the usually-resulting supercombine, the combined explosion of multiple (usually seven) needles wedged in the body. A crystalline projectile can cause fatal damage to its victim—a single shard can cause internal bleeding or strike a vital organ, with untreated wounds resulting in death. The resulting detonation of the shard upon penetration also spreads micro-shrapnel throughout the victim. Depending on the impact area and angle, several crystalline shards can cause amputation of limbs, and impacts to the chest are in most cases fatal; the supercombine properties can easily crack ribs, damage the lungs or heart, and cause severe flesh damage that can be very difficult and often impossible to repair. If enough rounds impact and detonate simultaneously, the unfortunate target can quite literally be blown apart.

Or to put it another way, I've gone ahead and highlighted all your own words in Red:

When used as ammunition, Draemidus Crystals are capable of two types of damage to a target. Penetration damage is caused by the needles impacting flesh and entering it; and the usually-resulting super-combine. This happens due to a small vapour surrounding individual pieces of the Crystal, and when these vapours interact in high volume, it activates the chemicals within the crystals that cause hundreds of micro-explosions to 'super-combine'. The combined explosion of multiple needles wedged in the body. A crystalline projectile can cause fatal damage to its victim, a single shard causing internal bleeding or can strike a vital organ, with untreated wounds resulting in death. The resulting detonation of the shard upon penetration also spreads micro-shrapnel throughout the victim. Depending on the impact area and angle, several crystalline shards can cause amputation of limbs, and impacts to the chest are in most cases fatal; the supercombine properties can easily crack ribs, damage the lungs or heart, and cause severe flesh damage that can be very difficult and often impossible to repair. If enough rounds impact and detonate simultaneously, the unfortunate target can quite literally be blown apart

20% (and I'm actually rounding up here) of the above paragraph appears to be your own work, which leaves us with 80% copy pasted from a source you haven't even credited. This is in violation of the following rule:

Plagiarism will not be tolerated. Small excerpts may be included from other sources in a sub, but they must include a credit, link, and be clearly marked.

Goes without saying that you're going to need to rewrite the above in your own words.

It should also go without saying that it would be in your distinct benefit to avoid plagiarism in the future.

This is your one and only warning.

Tag me when you have made the necessary revision.

 

[Tathra Khaeus]

Runi Verin

My apologies, I clearly got lazy with this one. Revision made.

 

[Runi Verin]

Approved.