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Bovaluraan

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(Thanks to Braith for allowing me to create a subspecies for her creature.)

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scarlett.jpg


Name: Bovaluraan

Designation: Sentient

Homeworld: Negosvern (Originally); Currently placed randomly across the galaxy

Language: Galactic Standard

Average height of adults: 1.95 meters

Skin color:
Albino
Pale
Peach Toned
Caramel

Hair color:
Red
Platinum Blonde
Blonde
White
Light Brown / Dirty blonde
Dark Green
Dark brown
Black

Breathes: Type 1

Strengths:
(+) Temporal Reception: Many beings believe that when they are, "in the zone", time slows. It is a universal phenomena that has effected many, even branching into other species. Thanks to the build up of their neurological brain tissues, their minds are quite like a super computers, which move at intense speeds. With how quickly their brains manipulate and process information, time itself comes at a much slower pace. For every second of battle, might come down to 1/10 to a Bova, giving time to actually create a counter to their issues as they arise.
(+) Reflexes/Speed: Thanks to being of a species that long ago developed great strength, transplanted to a planet with less gravity, they mutated a great leanness that allowed dense muscles to lose their overall strength to be replaced with enhanced speed. Where the average Alunrovaan has nearly thrice the strength of the strongest human, Bova have the equivalent of two times the speed of Olympic level athletes. This combined with their temporal abilities allows the peak reflexes found in the species, compared to the best species galaxy-wide, their agility is by far the best.
(+) Healing Factor: Like the Alunrovaan, the Bova has the healing factor that allows their cells to act like a cancer and split swiftly to heal wounds along the external of their bodies. It does not cover internal organs, or even a vast majority of the chest areas, yet as an example, if an accident occurs that brings about broken bones, these may heal in a matter of a few days.

Weaknesses:
(-)Underdeveloped Empathy: Not exactly a physical drawback, rather a mental one, the logical processing portion of their brains are more developed than their emotional and creative side, to the degree that over the course of evolution the emotional and creative portion of the brain has regressed in evolution and fallen behind even standard humans. Extreme cases of this are relatable to the "apathetic" trait found in some human serial killers, in that they have trouble understanding or comprehending emotions to the point that their minds might not even process them beyond very simple, basic, emotions such as anger. This issue is a very real concern among the species, prior to the destruction of their homeworld at least, as it effected as much as one in every forty Bovaluraan.
(-)Ultraviolet Intolerance: Although sometimes exaggerated in old stories by elder Bovaluraan to younglings, the Alunrovaan species does generally have a distinct lack of pigmentation that results in a very pale complexion, with an extremely high rate of albinism in comparison to nearly every known species in the galaxy. Depending on the complexion of an individual their intolerance to ultraviolet light can vary from immediate first or second degree burns, as seen on albino members of the species, to a very painful and fast-appearing sunburn in those who have higher pigmentation, more specifically those with a "peach tone" in their skin. Ten minutes under a sun, or comparable source, which radiates ultraviolet light while fully exposed would be enough to form mild sunburns on the "peach toned" Bovaluraan - those with greatest amounts of pigmentation in their skin. Ten minutes for an albino Bovaluraan, however, would result in rapid atrophy of muscle tissue and skin due to the severity of burns that would appear, meaning a painful and slow death.
(-) Shorter Average Lifespan: Due to the stress that rapid regeneration of cells cause to the body of an Bova , the average Bovaluraan only lives to around fifty years, forty years less than the current average human life expectancy. This can vary, depending on the amount of cellular regeneration that their body has been subjected to, but only by around five to ten years at best without outside intervention. Force sensitives, of course, have elongated life expectancies as they do in most any other species, but still far less than most other species.
(-) Cancerous Growths: Due to the nature of the accelerated growth which precedes the mitosis stage of cellular regeneration, painful growths in the skin form that require surgical removal in order to avoid varying forms of skin cancer or blood cancer. These growths are common enough to occur in all Bova's at least once throughout their lives. If caught early it is as simple, though expensive, as having a cyst removed. If not noticed or left untreated for extended periods of time, however, the regenerative factor of the Bova will actually grow this cancerous growth into a tumor that will quickly turn into cancer and spread, requiring much more risky surgery and other forms of medical attention, and may result in death. Physical contact with these growths, such as bumping into something or being physically struck by an object/person, results in a debilitating pain that can temporarily cripple the Bovaluraan.
(-) Pain: With the constant level of Temporal Reception that is found in the Bova, things like pain and injury are intensely devastating. While one could perceive a paper cut as hurting for several seconds before dulling down to nothing, Bova would feel as if several minutes had passed. For each second a limb hurts, for example is broken, you may as well times the number by a dozen, as that is the true length of time the Bova will receive the feeling.

Distinctions: Gangly, tall, thin bodies. Generally pale skin, random hair, and advanced speed/reflexes

Average Lifespan: 45 Standard Years

Races: None

Estimated Population: 12,318

Diet: Common diets; Food that is generally poisonous to the random human, is nearly a surety to be the same for Bova.

Communication: Standard speech. Bova have also developed a good form of alternate communication consisting of signs from the hands, and physical movement. If one wanted to say hello and how are you, a combination of a hand gesture then a head nod would convey the same. Realistically there are nearly as many gestures as words in the English language.

Culture: With a species that is equal parts male and female, their culture is near the many others in the galaxy, in the sense of a Democratic approach where women or men can hold power over the people. Generally the entirety of the populace is under the same heads, a council formed of the eldest Bova.

Technology level: Equal to Galactic Standards, yet at a higher capacity than found else where. This is thanks in part to their capabilities of thinking faster than most organic species.

General behavior: Like the Andolith's of Val'hala, Bova are a scientific race that revels in growth on an individual and societal level. However, with that being said, those that do become warriors, tend to be those of the lesser empathic state, and become dominately devastating presences.

History:
During a time thousands of years before the race wars on Negosvern, a sect of Alunrovaan found themselves transported to a different place by unseen eyes and hands. They had no idea where they were, what the plan for their placement was, or anything similar.

However, the planet they landed on would eventually alter their genetics in the same way their home world had changed their ancestors. With a planet of lesser nitrogen, the uzuur that the species had known, became useless. It would remain in their makeup, but due nothing until the time came that if placed on their home world, it would maintain no effect.

While their brethren on Negosvern grew strong in a higher place of gravity, the Bovaluraan's state of dense muscles changed until they were toned and lithe, this allowed for a replacement of their strength with speed. Many enjoy running as ways to calm the mind, while also enjoying sparring to aid in succession of thought processes that were blocked to them before.

Once they achieved basic skills in spacial flight, the Bova attempted to return to their people of Negosvern, only to find it destroyed. With this factor in mind, they became drifters, bent on finding their brethren to choose a new home.

Notable Player-Characters: Damien Daemon (pending approval)

Intent: To bring in the separate abilities denied the recreated Alunrovaan. As well to create a diverse species of Alunrovaan that is far different, yet same in many aspects.
 

Rusty

Purveyor of Fine Weaponry
[SIZE=14.6667px]Hi. I'm your Codex judge for this submission. I'm looking forward to working with you to solve the problems and get this thing approved.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=14.6667px]And boy howdy are there problems. Normally I'd start at the top and work my way down, but there's one particular line that colors the rest of the submission and is going to make things extremely difficult going forward.[/SIZE]



Razor Shot said:
Intent: To bring in the separate abilities denied the recreated Alunrovaan.
[SIZE=14.6667px]This is not going to happen. Full stop. We have no objection to a separate subspecies being created. Nature works in mysterious ways, and divergent evolutionary paths are a thing. Having said that, the abilities removed from the original submission were cut because they presented an unfair advantage in combat. We know there are species that can outperform baseline humans in Star Wars, even without the Force, and there are many submitted species that excel in certain areas that humans are lacking. As in all things, however, there must be balance. For every strength, a weakness, and the more substantial the strength, the more substantial the weakness.[/SIZE]



Razor Shot said:
(-)Underdeveloped Empathy: Not exactly a physical drawback, rather a mental one, the logical processing portion of their brains are more developed than their emotional and creative side, to the degree that over the course of evolution the emotional and creative portion of the brain has regressed in evolution and fallen behind even standard humans. Extreme cases of this are relatable to the "apathetic" trait found in some human serial killers, in that they have trouble understanding or comprehending emotions to the point that their minds might not even process them beyond very simple, basic, emotions such as anger. This issue is a very real concern among the species, prior to the destruction of their homeworld at least, as it effected as much as one in every forty Bovaluraan.
[SIZE=14.6667px](-)Ultraviolet Intolerance: Although sometimes exaggerated in old stories by elder Bovaluraan to younglings, the Alunrovaan species does generally have a distinct lack of pigmentation that results in a very pale complexion, with an extremely high rate of albinism in comparison to nearly every known species in the galaxy. Depending on the complexion of an individual their intolerance to ultraviolet light can vary from immediate first or second degree burns, as seen on albino members of the species, to a very painful and fast-appearing sunburn in those who have higher pigmentation, more specifically those with a "peach tone" in their skin. Ten minutes under a sun, or comparable source, which radiates ultraviolet light while fully exposed would be enough to form mild sunburns on the "peach toned" Bovaluraan - those with greatest amounts of pigmentation in their skin. Ten minutes for an albino Bovaluraan, however, would result in rapid atrophy of muscle tissue and skin due to the severity of burns that would appear, meaning a painful and slow death. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=14.6667px](-) Shorter Average Lifespan: Due to the stress that rapid regeneration of cells cause to the body of an Bova , the average Bovaluraan only lives to around fifty years, forty years less than the current average human life expectancy. This can vary, depending on the amount of cellular regeneration that their body has been subjected to, but only by around five to ten years at best without outside intervention. Force sensitives, of course, have elongated life expectancies as they do in most any other species, but still far less than most other species. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=14.6667px](-) Cancerous Growths: Due to the nature of the accelerated growth which precedes the mitosis stage of cellular regeneration, painful growths in the skin form that require surgical removal in order to avoid varying forms of skin cancer or blood cancer. These growths are common enough to occur in all Bova's at least once throughout their lives. If caught early it is as simple, though expensive, as having a cyst removed. If not noticed or left untreated for extended periods of time, however, the regenerative factor of the Bova will actually grow this cancerous growth into a tumor that will quickly turn into cancer and spread, requiring much more risky surgery and other forms of medical attention, and may result in death. Physical contact with these growths, such as bumping into something or being physically struck by an object/person, results in a debilitating pain that can temporarily cripple the Bovaluraan. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=14.6667px](-) Pain: With the constant level of Temporal Reception that is found in the Bova, things like pain and injury are intensely devastating. While one could perceive a paper cut as hurting for several seconds before dulling down to nothing, Bova would feel as if several minutes had passed. For each second a limb hurts, for example is broken, you may as well times the number by a dozen, as that is the true length of time the Bova will receive the feeling. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=14.6667px]In RP terms, these are not actual weaknesses. They're fluff. They're the oregano on the omelet. Sure they add a bit of flavor to the dish, but they don't really contribute anything meaningful to the role play, especially in a combat situation. The pain submission comes close, but it's no secret that writers rarely let a minor thing like taking a blaster bolt to the face slow them down in a duel. With the possible exceptions of little things like a the Jedi's moral code or the inherent flammability of Wookiees, pain is the single most ignored factor in RP. If this submission is to go forward with anything close to the strengths you have listed, there will need to be real, tangible weaknesses to go along with it.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=14.6667px]Speaking of strengths:[/SIZE]



Razor Shot said:
(+) Healing Factor: Like the Alunrovaan, the Bova has the healing factor that allows their cells to act like a cancer and split swiftly to heal wounds along the external of their bodies. It does not cover internal organs, or even a vast majority of the chest areas, yet as an example, if an accident occurs that brings about broken bones, these may heal in a matter of a few days.
[SIZE=14.6667px]Simply put, this section will have to be removed. If you wish to incorporate a healing factor, there are precedents, but the method mentioned here will not work. The reason cancer is so deadly is that the cancerous cells grow without regard for the wellbeing of the host. They consume nutrients, starving nearby cells. They prevent organs from functioning in an effective manner. They corrupt the body and weaken it. In short, a healing factor that works in the manner you describe is far more likely to kill a being than help. Sure you may seal up a wound quickly, but what good is that when the result is a fleshy, amorphous blob of rapidly expanding tissue that leaches the nutrients needed to keep the tissue around the wound alive? As a survival trait, it's right up there with an uncontrollable sexual attraction to garbage disposals, and every bit as likely to be passed onto subsequent generations.[/SIZE]



Razor Shot said:
(+) Temporal Reception: Many beings believe that when they are, "in the zone", time slows. It is a universal phenomena that has effected many, even branching into other species. Thanks to the build up of their neurological brain tissues, their minds are quite like a super computers, which move at intense speeds. With how quickly their brains manipulate and process information, time itself comes at a much slower pace. For every second of battle, might come down to 1/10 to a Bova, giving time to actually create a counter to their issues as they arise.
(+) Reflexes/Speed: Thanks to being of a species that long ago developed great strength, transplanted to a planet with less gravity, they mutated a great leanness that allowed dense muscles to lose their overall strength to be replaced with enhanced speed. Where the average Alunrovaan has nearly thrice the strength of the strongest human, Bova have the equivalent of two times the speed of Olympic level athletes. This combined with their temporal abilities allows the peak reflexes found in the species, compared to the best species galaxy-wide, their agility is by far the best.
[SIZE=14.6667px]When combined, these two features basically allow the whole species to exist in a state akin to a Force user with Force Speed activated after popping three stimpaks and shotgunning a case of Red Bull. Either one on their own would require toning down and extensive development; together in their current state they are intolerable. I see what you're trying to do here, and I'm not entirely opposed to the idea, but it's going to take some serious modifications. Here are your options:[/SIZE]

  • [SIZE=14.6667px]Reduce the cognition ratio to 1/2 instead of 1/10 and bring the speed down to 25% greater than an Olympic level athlete. To go this route, you will need to complete two development threads. The first will be a duel against a writer who has no reason to take it easy on you and who is more than happy to push you to your limits as a duelist. What I'm looking for is to see that this ability will not be abused in a stressful situation. Once the duel is concluded, I'll personally go through and judge it to make sure that it's being used in a fair and balanced manner. Whether you win or lose is irrelevant, but any signs of your opponent taking it easy on you will invalidate the thread. The second development thread will be a social thread, conducted with 2-3 other writers and consisting of no less than 30 quality posts. This is to demonstrate how the increased cognition speed affects everyday life for the Bovaluraan race and to establish a template for any other writers who wish to use the race to follow.[/SIZE]

  • [SIZE=14.6667px]Reduce the cognition speed to 1/2 and remove the increase in agility altogether. A development thread of no less than 20 quality posts with the involvement of 2-3 other writers will be required, of the same nature and for the same reasons as listed above.[/SIZE]

  • [SIZE=14.6667px]Remove the enhanced cognition speed altogether and allow for up to 50% greater reflexes and agility than an Olympic athlete. A development thread of no less than 20 quality posts with the involvement of 2-3 other writers will be required, of the same nature and for the same reasons as listed above.[/SIZE]

  • [SIZE=14.6667px]Remove both and start from scratch, and we'll take it from there. [/SIZE]



Razor Shot said:
Communication: Standard speech. Bova have also developed a good form of alternate communication consisting of signs from the hands, and physical movement. If one wanted to say hello and how are you, a combination of a hand gesture then a head nod would convey the same. Realistically there are nearly as many gestures as words in the English language.
[SIZE=14.6667px]Please replace any and all references to English with Basic. May seem like I'm splitting hairs here, but while swearing in Basic is allowed on Chaos, swearing in English is not. The profanity filter reminds me of this on a daily basis.[/SIZE]



Razor Shot said:
Culture: With a species that is equal parts male and female, their culture is near the many others in the galaxy, in the sense of a Democratic approach where women or men can hold power over the people. Generally the entirety of the populace is under the same heads, a council formed of the eldest Bova.
[SIZE=14.6667px]Please expand on the culture of the Bovaluraan. We don't need a novel, but we need enough to allow future writers of this species to role play them in a consistent fashion. What are their traditions? Are they inherently violent? Do they like cheese? Their small population and unique traits imply a tight-knit community. Perhaps that would be a good starting point. [/SIZE]



Razor Shot said:
History: During a time thousands of years before the race wars on Negosvern, a sect of Alunrovaan found themselves transported to a different place by unseen eyes and hands. They had no idea where they were, what the plan for their placement was, or anything similar.
[SIZE=14.6667px]This will need to be expanded upon. While the species itself might not know, the history will need to be recorded in the submission so as to allow anyone else who may wish to write this species to do so in a consistent manner.[/SIZE]



Razor Shot said:
However, the planet they landed on would eventually alter their genetics in the same way their home world had changed their ancestors. With a planet of lesser nitrogen, the uzuur that the species had known, became useless. It would remain in their makeup, but due nothing until the time came that if placed on their home world, it would maintain no effect.
[SIZE=14.6667px]Actually, I like this part. Nitrogen is practically inert, and few of the compounds it's capable of forming are useful when dealing with the organic chemistry needed to maintain animal life. Carry on. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=14.6667px]So there we have it. The idea is not without merit, and I'd like to see it come to fruition. Unfortunately, given the unique circumstances that led to the initial rejection of the traits you wish to incorporate, this submission is already on thin ice. Normally a certain amount of debate or discussion is allowed with submissions in order to allow the writer to make their case. This courtesy has not been extended to the Bovaluraan race due to the troublesome nature of the submission. If you're willing to work with me, we can get this submission approved, but only on terms that will benefit the site as a whole, not just the handful of writers that will choose to make characters from it.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=14.6667px]I thank you for your time, and if you have any questions, you're welcome to either post them here or PM me. I know this is a lot to take in, but there's still hope yet for the Bovaluraan people.[/SIZE]

[member="Razor Shot"]
 
How goes it? I see your issues, and while am willing to work with you, I wish to point out that honestly what your saying goes entirely against what actual staff said when judging the predecessor.



In regards to the healing thing, this was blatant in the post, was read by Valiens, and allowed:

almost cancer-like, and then split from one cell into four.
I took the same ideal, just with separate words.



For the speed, again from the parenting thread, Valiens brought it up, and stated not only that it could be continued, but that with the strength and processesing speed, it was to heavy, that it would simply require more weakness. Not an entire nerfing.

Without serious weaknesses I usually only allow one of those two things.
So I removed one. In this case not only is something that is entirely cannon being nerfed, its entirely un-allowed?

For the processing speed, I did relatively a large number and I can edit this I guess. But for the speed, which the strength of the Alunrovaan is also based, its cannon. The Anzati and other species can indeed go to thrice the strength and speed of a human.

For the weaknesses being fluff, they are quite literally the exact replicas of the other which was not only accepted but appreciated by Valiens. Cancerous growths, are not only a weakness, but are deadly. Being in ultraviolet light is completely deadly in a matter of moments. Personally I view this not as weaknesses but inhibitors.

Yet if its utterly necessary, I can and will work on them.



On the temporal reception:
I am making a species that was already allowed, edited, mentioned to be allowable as long as more weakness was added, but now have to put in not only a little bit, but an extensive amount of role play? On what is basically a resubmitted design? One in which its parent is just as grand, and was asked to level out more weaknesses, not go in and do 60 posts in dual devs. That's pretty ridiculous.

I have never heard of this, in any of the creations I have done personally and been a part of since I joined. Alongside this is my creation of a separate species that had a tail that literally broke the speed of sound like a bullwhip. Moving as fast as Cannon species is nowhere near that!

I am hoping you can rethink the requirements for the strengths. It is a lot. And I have done some crazy things on the site in my two years.




The rest I will work on in due course.

Thanks for working with me, hopefully we may get this handled a bit better. Maybe we can bring Valiens in on a collab?
[member="Rusty"]
 
[member="Razor Shot"] [member="Rusty"]



Razor Shot said:
And I have done some crazy things on the site in my two years.
Noted, and it is part of the reason why I am in no mood to tolerate such things.



Razor Shot said:
Maybe we can bring Valiens in on a collab?
I am here now, but it will not end how you like.

When I first saw this submission I was a little incredulous. Contained herein are all the parts I snipped off the original sub with Braith, but I asked my team to give you a chance to reform it after reading it. I accepted Rusty's manifesto above before he posted it, and all we have got is mulish stubbornness in reply.

Therefore I am giving you another opportunity to comply with the judge's ruling, or this will be denied.
 
It was not intended to come off rude, so i hopenit did not. Yet I was asked to role play for a species that I do not have as a character of thus is impossible, to a higher degree than I ever heard of from a naturally occurring species. Others, made by science etc were role played out because it was required. Naturally occurring ones I have never seen need to. I believe you yourself have approved at least one of mine, could be wrong, that did pretty impressive stuff.

This personally felt like it was to high as well. If I were making a level 10 armor with Force Enhancements, I wouldn't need this much work! I know because I have made ones in the past.

As well, all of the things found here, were said to be allowable by yourself, just needing even weaknesses. Yet, you say you approved of his response to this, meaning it was fine for one person you oked to need minor things, but as soon as it reaches me its much higher?

I was never trying, nor am I now, to be crude or demanding, or anything like that. Just to explain my confusion. But now with your approval of his input, it seems my confusal has raised, as it is now a personal thing that I don't understand.

I guess, my last question, is this legitimately how it is? I have to do this much work to get the species? There can be no middle ground?

[member="Valiens Nantaris"]
 
Also, just a side note I meant to put in my original response, in what way does me role playing out the strength aid anything? People will use them as they will. So half the work required, will benefit nothing.
 
[member="Razor Shot"]
There's plenty of middle ground - you just need to stop them having permanent Force Speed, brilliantly quick minds and regeneration.

You can have everything if you're willing to sacrifice for it. What you have here is a list of strengths not matched by weaknesses. Something has to be altered.
 
Then how do I do such with the grounds set by Rusty? His stipulations to using them is I need x sized threads, twice. There is no, bring about weaknesses etc, which is all I was looking for - the equal treatment. If one person is allowed to use a permananet strength, should I not be able to do the same if I do the same requirements?

I am more than willing to cooperate, as I said before. I just need to know where, and how much, to get as close to my ideas as possible.

In the end, I guess I am willing to lower the speed, as well as lose the healing. The main yearning I have for this species however was the time perception.

If I come up with deep enough weaknesses, would these be acceptable?

[member="Valiens Nantaris"]
 
Ok here's a few ideas, combined of course with halving the speed and losing healing:

(-) Exhaustion: If a Bova spends to much effort and energy moving at their top speeds, they will fond they are weakened swiftly. To the extent that one may fall in battle, with little realization they were even doing so - thanks to the suddenness that the drop dead tired feeling overcomes them.
(-) Mental Weakness: Bred into the species since they found their sense of time to be elongated, is a noticeable weakness to mental attacks. From the simplest things like Mind Trick, they are susceptible. They have worked to create a way to bypass this, but with little success - maybe someone controlled their minds to avoid the proper answers?


How's that?
[member="Valiens Nantaris"]
 

Matreya

Well-Known Member
Hmm. How much weaker? Maybe if it's 80% as strong? So still in the league, but notably more weak. Then I could also keep the exhaustion, and not have to go any lower? So like a combination effect; while faster, it is physically weaker than most humans, and gets exhausted if it pushes itself to the limit?

[member="Valiens Nantaris"]
 
[member="Darth Pikiran"]
That'll do.

I would like to see a dev thread, as [member="Rusty"] requested. However, with those weaknesses added I think 20 posts with 2+ people will be sufficient.

I will also need to see Rusty's other points fixed in regards to history, culture, etc.
 
That's much more reasonable. Would one posted in the future, after a transfer of bodies be acceptable? Showing then the inherited abilities?

[member="Valiens Nantaris"]
 
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