The Blood Hound
He's opened his eyes a moment before she whispered his name. Scherezade sat there and remained quiet, simply looking at him. She understood the meaning of his expression, could feel the tears that had not come yet. What was she meant to do in such a case? How could she properly tell him there was no need to cry without sounding like she was condescending him, without making it sound like the previous night had been just a technical experience? Because it had not. She did not need words to feel it deep within her being. What it exactly was, she did not know at all, but she would not shame him by saying it had meant nothing or that it had been a mistake. Because it had been neither.
He was glad she'd said something. And the way he said her name… Scherezade looked away. How often had she dreamed of it, wished for it, prayed for it, to have her name said like that, without a touch of mockery, annoyance, without that look that she was so used to being on the receiving end of by now. And now that she received it, she did not know what to do with it. She wanted to kiss him for saying it like that, to have another few hours worth of a stumble. But she also wanted to run away and hide. What did you do when you received something that you exactly wanted and had dreamed of for so long, but the person it came from… And she didn't want to be horrible and blub that out. Especially when such a chunk of her was actively debating asking for another such meeting.
"I'm glad I stayed too," she said just as softly as she had his name, and smiled. It was not the whole truth. But it was entirely truthful. Searched herself as she may, there was no regret within her about what they had done. Not a single kernel of it.
But when he took her hand and held it like that… She did not know what to do. His feelings radiated through, yes, she could feel them inside of her, like a waterfall above her head that threatened to take her entirely if she would only let it. Could she let it? It was… It was much more complicated than that.
And yet when they were touching like that, when they were so near, she also knew what it changed inside of him, in those moments. Because she had felt it too, had been on that side when she had been with Gerwald, though with a much lesser ability at so fully being able to express it. It was not a side that she wanted Hevn to remain on. It was a side that would ultimately lead to unhappy places, dark places, places worse than the one he was in before. And when she wanted to say something, anything to convey that, he smiled, and the words stuck in her throat.
Everyone you ever thought loved you, betrayed you.
Scherezade smiled back and leaned forward, pressing her lips to him again for a flutter of a breath. "I need to leave for work soon," she whispered, not yet rising up again, wanting to feel a body, his body, against hers, just a few moments more. Only now did she realize how bruise-free she was. That her lungs were breathing fine. That it had happened without needing to dunk in bacta, because Hevn had healed her the night before. He could not put a band aid to the suffocating pain in her soul, but he had healed her body and helped her survive the night, as she had helped him.
"If…" she started, sighing, and then looked away. Was it the right thing to do? Was it the smart thing to do? "I'm usually on Geonosis, between missions," she finally said before she could change her mind. Maybe... Maybe if she didn't snuff out and quench whatever this was, she would have... No promises, but perhaps she would have less of a reason to go on her adventures of suicide by missions. Maybe... Maybe she could even skip one or two over, every now and then. Maybe.
[member="Bedrovelse Hevn"]
He was glad she'd said something. And the way he said her name… Scherezade looked away. How often had she dreamed of it, wished for it, prayed for it, to have her name said like that, without a touch of mockery, annoyance, without that look that she was so used to being on the receiving end of by now. And now that she received it, she did not know what to do with it. She wanted to kiss him for saying it like that, to have another few hours worth of a stumble. But she also wanted to run away and hide. What did you do when you received something that you exactly wanted and had dreamed of for so long, but the person it came from… And she didn't want to be horrible and blub that out. Especially when such a chunk of her was actively debating asking for another such meeting.
"I'm glad I stayed too," she said just as softly as she had his name, and smiled. It was not the whole truth. But it was entirely truthful. Searched herself as she may, there was no regret within her about what they had done. Not a single kernel of it.
But when he took her hand and held it like that… She did not know what to do. His feelings radiated through, yes, she could feel them inside of her, like a waterfall above her head that threatened to take her entirely if she would only let it. Could she let it? It was… It was much more complicated than that.
And yet when they were touching like that, when they were so near, she also knew what it changed inside of him, in those moments. Because she had felt it too, had been on that side when she had been with Gerwald, though with a much lesser ability at so fully being able to express it. It was not a side that she wanted Hevn to remain on. It was a side that would ultimately lead to unhappy places, dark places, places worse than the one he was in before. And when she wanted to say something, anything to convey that, he smiled, and the words stuck in her throat.
Everyone you ever thought loved you, betrayed you.
Scherezade smiled back and leaned forward, pressing her lips to him again for a flutter of a breath. "I need to leave for work soon," she whispered, not yet rising up again, wanting to feel a body, his body, against hers, just a few moments more. Only now did she realize how bruise-free she was. That her lungs were breathing fine. That it had happened without needing to dunk in bacta, because Hevn had healed her the night before. He could not put a band aid to the suffocating pain in her soul, but he had healed her body and helped her survive the night, as she had helped him.
"If…" she started, sighing, and then looked away. Was it the right thing to do? Was it the smart thing to do? "I'm usually on Geonosis, between missions," she finally said before she could change her mind. Maybe... Maybe if she didn't snuff out and quench whatever this was, she would have... No promises, but perhaps she would have less of a reason to go on her adventures of suicide by missions. Maybe... Maybe she could even skip one or two over, every now and then. Maybe.
[member="Bedrovelse Hevn"]
