Teckla noticed the adjustment in Aurelian's stride. He could have easily moved ahead of her, yet instead he settled into a pace that allowed them to walk together. It was a small thing, but perhaps that was precisely why she noticed it. There were no formations to maintain here. No strategy to discuss. No subordinates watching them for direction. Just two people walking through the remains of something that had once mattered.
His answer drew a thoughtful glance from her.
"You forget emotions?" There was no judgment in the question. If anything, Aurelian had managed to surprise her. Teckla looked ahead again, stepping carefully around a fractured section of duracrete.
"I suppose I have the opposite problem. I remember them too well."
A quiet laugh followed, almost self-deprecating.
"I remember anger long after it has ceased to be useful. Slights that should have been forgotten. Victories that felt better than they deserved to." She paused.
"People, certainly." That last word lingered.
Perhaps that was why she had never been able to view order solely as an exercise in administration. Systems mattered. Laws mattered. Hierarchies mattered. But they were structures built around living beings, and Teckla had never quite managed to separate the two. Aurelian's question made her slow. Heart or mind?
Her first instinct was to give him an answer worthy of the Archon-Prime. Something balanced and deliberate about studying the consequences of failure. He had specifically allowed her to dispense with such answers, however. It would have been rather hypocritical to demand honesty from him and then retreat behind her own title.
"My heart," she finally admitted. She stopped.
Teckla's gaze traveled across the ruined industrial landscape.
"My mind tells me what happened here. It identifies mistakes. It considers what might have prevented them and what should have followed." She shook her head.
"Useful questions. Necessary ones." Her expression hardened slightly.
"But they are not what I feel."
She crouched beside a piece of debris and brushed ash from its surface with her fingertips. There was nothing remarkable beneath it. Just another fragment of a civilization that had once assumed tomorrow would come much as yesterday had.
"I feel angry." Teckla rose again.
"Not the satisfying sort of anger one carries into battle. There is nothing here to strike. No enemy to defeat. Whoever did this has long since moved on." Her eyes found Aurelian.
"So all that remains is the knowledge that someone decided this was necessary."
She resumed walking, though her pace was slower now.
"Perhaps that is where you and I differ. You came here hoping to remember the emotion behind what you already know. I look at this and wish I could quiet the emotion long enough to understand it without wanting to throttle someone." A small smile betrayed the humor beneath the admission.
"Between us, perhaps we constitute one properly balanced person." She gave Aurelian a sidelong glance, curious whether the ancient Hegemon would appreciate the joke.
For a while, Teckla simply walked. It felt strange to allow silence without treating it as something that needed to be filled. Stranger still to walk beside someone like Aurelian without discussing fleets, enemies, borders or the next crisis demanding their attention. Eventually she spoke again.
"You said you can forget emotions. Is that simply what time does after you've lived as long as you have?"
The question was quieter than those that had preceded it.
"Or is it something you have always done?" She considered him for a moment before adding,
"You have lived far longer than I have. I imagine carrying every feeling from all those years would become... crowded." There was genuine curiosity now rather than an attempt to pry information from a potential ally.
Her attention returned to Tion.
"These places make history sound too clean. We say Tion was destroyed. An empire fell. The Sith won. The Sith lost." She gestured toward the ruins.
"Convenient little sentences…But people lived here." Teckla's steps slowed once more.
"And people died here. Empress Kanni was among them. Emperor
Velran Kilran
's daughter." She stared out across the broken landscape, her expression becoming distant.
"It would be nice if the girl had a better resting place than this." For several moments Teckla said nothing more. Then she looked toward Aurelian.
"Come. We have already walked this far." A faint smile returned.
"Perhaps we could find her."