Arzela Rivanon Morningstar

[Lief]

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| [Epicanthix] | [Female] | [20 Years Old] | [Untrained Force Sensitive] |​

I was born Arzela Rivanon Morningstar, though it was not a name that graced my ears very often. Mother more affectionately dubbed me Little Lottie, though I never quite knew why, and while it was only ever spoken in more intimate surroundings it was the name I grew to love regardless. In my youth I was known for being a rather boisterous child, the kind who ran a muck through the estate with nary a care in the world and a poor governess at their heel. I can assure you that I meant no ill, I did not mean to cause such distress to dear sweet Maodanna, it's just that even a home as large as the one I inhabited could not provide enough adventure to so curious a mind as my own.

The gardens were always my most favourite part of the estate. Lavishly decorated with trellises and hanging baskets, separated by budding rose bushes and pruned hedges... It was labyrinthine in nature, and while it must have proven a nightmare for the gardeners to my young mind it was a treasure trove of unexplored wonderment. My own secret garden. Emmanuela, that is my Mother, preferred to enjoy it from afar, and Aunt Jenovefa was far too unwell back then to even know of its existence. So I made it my own. From dawn til dusk I would venture out amidst the greenery in search of something new.

I couldn't have been much older than five when I first insisted that the trees had become inhabited by quaint little folk. At first Mother simply laughed, the same airy lilt that accompanied kind disbelief. When I did not seem to grow out of it, however, she had a doctor sent for and the gardens were proclaimed off limits. She even had the staff commission a great ornate gate which even I could not slip past. At least it looked beautiful, but not as impressive as the foliage which was now lost to my imagination. I knew all along that the little folk were not there, not truly, but it was so very lonely within the boundaries of the estate that something had to change... An essence of magic and mystery had to be introduced. How was I to know that Mother would react so badly?

Still, there was some slightly desired outcome... Mother decided that it was time I pushed such childish thoughts from my mind and had tutors sent for from across the Galaxy. During the next few years I saw less and less of Emmanuela, and a little too much of Maodanna, and thus Little Lottie became simply Arzela. No longer a problem child, no longer stunted by an overactive imagination. I was taught all manner of etiquette and elocution, over fifteen languages, how to dance and sing most pleasantly, and most importantly how to debate. Meek and mild in some degree, fit for any man my Mother might deem suitable to wed, yet able to hold my own in conversation. For who wanted a boring woman at their dinner table?

Not that I was anywhere near an age to be considered a woman... By this point I had just hit my teenage years by Human Standards, though I knew that my parent's heritage left me lagging behind just a touch. It was at this stage in my life that I first learned of grief, a most poisonous sensation that could take hold in seconds and refuse to let go for days, weeks, months... For some even years. Mother's passing hit me hard, and with the void it left I drew further in on myself. I demanded that the gates be opened, and as I had in my youth I found myself wandering through the gardens I had once known by heart. It had been amidst the trees and the bushes and the hanging flowers that I had spent the most time with her. And it was there that I longed to remain.

My only respite from such woes came in a time of duplicity. Further loss, in the form of sickly Aunt Jenovefa, but also a gift from the Force itself. Little Keridwen lit up my life from the moment I laid eyes on her, the babe who had risen like a phoenix during her Mother's final moments... Lost as she now was without the love she so dearly needed. While my governess, Maodanna, decidedly took charge over the household and my studies, it was I who stepped in for little Keri. I took her everywhere with me, and I could tell that she adored the Gardens just as much as I did despite her infantile mind.

Orphans that we were, we found in one another a kinship, a dependency that none could take from us, and with time her growth healed the void within me. It has been just eight months since Keridwen came into my life, six years since Mother's passing, and already I can feel a change... As though awakening for the first time, and finding the land far greener than it had previously been and the sky the most perfect shade of blue. Despite this I worry for the future, for what we will face with each passing day. I sense that soon the Fates will decide my path, and when that happens I do not know where I will be led. Or whether dear sweet Keri will accompany me.

One thing I do know, I cannot remain a child for all eternity. I cannot hide away in this great estate, and watch the seasons change the flowers until the end of time. And though I am loathe to leave Cedarvale, though I am not want to travel from Bakura into the great unknown, I cannot say that there is not a part of me that is excited by the prospect of seeing more. For it is lonely, this Wallflower Existence, knowing only the same four perimeters of my gilded prison.


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